Anyone else feel alone on MFP?

13

Replies

  • Crochetluvr
    Crochetluvr Posts: 3,238 Member
    I reply to every post...but you know how many do the same for me? Oh...some. I dont like the idea of having to give support and not get any back but I still do it....at least for now.
  • herstrawberri
    herstrawberri Posts: 347 Member
    Get new friends if the ones you have aren't what you expected. Also, you get back what you put into it. =)
  • cardiokitten
    cardiokitten Posts: 401 Member
    Not cute enough.

    jk :P

    Put in your time to encourage other people, be active on the message boards, add more friends and post sexy pics. My formula works pretty well. :)
  • gec1266
    gec1266 Posts: 201 Member
    You're not alone. I had to whittle my friends list down to 25 (and about to go smaller). I tend to attract the "Look at me and all that i have accomplished but i won't support you" types. It gets frustrating at times but I have also come to the conclusion that I am doing this for me and the ones who actually comment and support are the only ones that i will even give a damn about. I always support anyone who is serious and dedicated to change and improvement. Keep striving and reaching your goals.....Congrats on the change.....gec1266
  • MrsSorenson
    MrsSorenson Posts: 450 Member
    You haven't found the right friends yet. Add me and I'll be there!
  • LauraMacNCheese
    LauraMacNCheese Posts: 7,173 Member
    You haven't found the right friends yet. Add me and I'll be there!

    I second this one :flowerforyou:
  • mem50
    mem50 Posts: 1,384 Member
    I feel the same way lately. I am only on line for a little bit each day but am here for the weekends pretty much all day long. Since I hit maintenance no one seems to want to talk much to me. Been cruising for some new friends, found a few but only time will tell.
  • TexanThom
    TexanThom Posts: 778
    I was going to send you a friend request, but my go to response is "good job". So never mind.
  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member
    Whilst I think friend collectors are a little dubious I think there is no harm friend requesting people even if you haven't had interaction with them on the forums etc. Just send them a note with your FR explaining why you are requesting them or what about them you liked which caused you to send the FR.

    Most will say yes. Some will decline. After a while you will get a good, core base of friends who are all pretty active and life will be sweet.

    bonne chance ;)
  • RainRedfield
    RainRedfield Posts: 597 Member
    *feels alone IRL, but not here*

    Just gotta add the right members to your support team
  • HorganMom3
    HorganMom3 Posts: 63 Member
    There hae been times when I have felt the exact same way, It's hard... you come here, hearing the hype, hearing the support, and when you start logging in it seems like your standing in the corner by yourself watching everyone else enjoy each other's company. I try my hardest to comment, to support everyone on my friends list and sometimes it's hard... sometimes I just can't keep up with everyone... and I don't have many friends, LOL! Give it some time... I've noticed the more I comment, the more I supprt, the more I say thanks, the more I comment on someones general day post, the more I get in response. It does kind of add to the negative pressure when your just starting out, but keep your head up! Also, don't be afraid to add and delete as you need. If you have some friends that you absolutely love then hang on to them. If there are others that what seems like no matter what just isn't there to help you and motivate you delete them and make room for others who will!!
  • marrizia
    marrizia Posts: 88 Member
    I'm fortunate to have a nice group of MFP friends. It does help to get a WTG! Feel free to add me :)
  • bamalady1967
    bamalady1967 Posts: 9
    How do you get friends on here?
  • Pollywog39
    Pollywog39 Posts: 1,730 Member
    Ok so i joined MFP to get support and support others in their weight loss/fitness goals. My problem? I hardly ever get any support! I post my workouts, what im eating, when im having a good/bad day...all that jaz. Only one or two people will post back to me ever. I mean i dont want a bunch of people who could care less to be posting back "good job" every time. But a little support would be nice. Down my whole page my posts are the only ones that go without comment. Every other friend is getting their support why not me? :frown:

    I honestly feel like i could post i sat on my a** all week and ate nothing but McDonalds and no one would even notice. Very unmotivating. Sorry for complaining, I just wanted to see if anyone else was haiving this issue.

    Are you talking in your NEWS Feed, or here on the message boards? Cuz it's hard to get direct responses HERE........but if you're not getting much in your personal feed, then I'd wonder what's up? Do YOU respond to others in your feed? Are you interactive with them? Sending personal messages helps, too, to get to know people.

    To have a friend, you have to BE a friend, ya know?

    Hope things get better :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
  • rammsteinsoldier
    rammsteinsoldier Posts: 1,552 Member
    I have the most wonderful supportive group of friends. You can add me and I will be glad to be there for you.
  • helenoftroy1
    helenoftroy1 Posts: 638 Member

    I agree, sometimes I am quiet and reflective sometimes I am loud and brassy along with my mood. Put yourself out there and see what comes back if not cut the wheat from the chaff on your friends list if you're purely looking for support too. I'm willing to bet maybe some of the people on your friends list feel the same too - i've posted in my thread things like 'what do you think i should do differently this week' or 'suggest me some meal ideas' might not work but it might get more input than you bargained for.

    Biggest thing, don't let it affect your workouts or your motivation to achieve your goal, friends and support are great but it's you that will sweat out that goal. :smile:

    Friend this guy, ignore what he said at the beginning about being quiet and reflective, he is funny, supportive and spins a rap now and again!

    I keep my friend list limited to 60 ish. I ask people to find something in common if they want to add me. I can honestly say I have the best 60 friends on here. They know me better than my real life friends (apart from the real life friends I have on here ha ha!). They have the same goals as me, or the same out look on life. I limit myself to 60 so I can comment on those that need support and motivation and I'm not overwhelmed with having too many. I love my mfp friends.

    Good luck on your journey and keep supporting others and making new friends.
    :drinker:
  • wifeygrooms
    wifeygrooms Posts: 49
    I think you might want to re-eval your friends on MFP!!!! I know you say they are your friends outside of MFP!!!! I have a couple of friends on here that I was friends with before joining on here...And I can say they hardly ever comment on my page and that is because we talk a lot on the phone and discuss our weight loss and exercise that way!!! But I have gain a close knit circle here on MFP!!!! All my friends on here don't comment on my page but I have a few that are faithful with commenting and if I miss a couple of days from logging on they will put an APB out on me :) So think about adding more people that you are not friends with outside of MFP!!!!
  • gatorginger
    gatorginger Posts: 947 Member
    Maybe you need new friends, I don't respond to all of mine in one day but I try to encourage all of them sometime or another
  • 519harley
    519harley Posts: 241 Member
    bump
  • yelpat
    yelpat Posts: 414 Member
    Add me, I'm very supportive :)
  • TheNewo
    TheNewo Posts: 239 Member
    feel free to add me! I try to be active and supportive but I think that you probably have to have quite a few friends to get the responses you're looking for. I wonder why I don't get many responses but I think it's mostly because I don't have too many people on my friend list
  • ElviraCross
    ElviraCross Posts: 331 Member
    add me, I'm on every day and try my best to give encouragement to all of my friends!
  • bhankiii
    bhankiii Posts: 217 Member
    Search for some communities that you have something in common with - location, situation, diet plan, etc. I've found that the friends you meet in these smaller communities make the best friends. Just click on Groups then Search.
  • WarriorCupcakeBlydnsr
    WarriorCupcakeBlydnsr Posts: 2,150 Member
    Maybe check the stats on the friends, some of that and what you're posting may be why, they can't relate to the problem in the way they think you need them to, so they don't answer. I hesitate to post on comments I see from my friends in my news posts on my home page if it's something I can't relate to- how am I supposed to make you feel better when your baby is screaming it's head off when I can't relate to that situation? The last thing you want to hear from me (a single person-not by choice, but that's a whole other message board issue) is "oh sorry to hear that.." Or if they have a really good day and I'm having a really crummy day, the last thing I want to do is give them empty cheer (the ever popular "good job") or bring them down.
    I do read the posts on my home page and if I feel it's something that I can relate to or help with I absolutely post. I have friends that never post on my comments, but then I also have the ones that when I wasn't on for over a week due to craziness at work poked me to make sure I was okay.
  • senyosmom
    senyosmom Posts: 613 Member
    Hello! Im sorry you feel alone.... maybe you should revamp your friends list and focus on those how actually offer you support.. maybe seeing a long list of "friends" who never say anything is bringing you down. Could be a shorter list of actual friends is better than a long list of names that say/write nothing.

    I hope you get the support you are looking for and I hope you meet your weight loss goals. Good luck!
  • AnitaVolpato
    AnitaVolpato Posts: 204 Member
    Here is a fun thing to do.. Seek out people who are outgoing with big personalities on here.. We talk A LOT... ha ha ha. You would probably be sick of me after a week....
  • HarlCarl
    HarlCarl Posts: 266 Member
    I used to feel alone. Most of my MFP friends are actually family. They miss three or four days at a time, don't post activities and rarely do their diary 100%. The rest of them post a little activity daily and that they met their daily goal but don't show any loss in months.

    I'm not doing this for them, I'm doing this for me.
  • SerenityGelsinger
    SerenityGelsinger Posts: 80 Member
    That happened to me as well so I don't post on here anymore. I just use it for the calorie counter.
  • Kitten2629
    Kitten2629 Posts: 1,358 Member
    Yes, I feel alone quite often.. but in a different sense. I have wonderful supportive friends on here, but the ONE person I want support from is my husband. This is supposed to be a lifestyle change for the both of us, but I tend to get looked over. He is also on this site. He is awesome motivation and support for those on his friend list, BUT for me.
  • crcajo
    crcajo Posts: 3
    Hi thickandthin8! I love to hear the frustration you're having. Not that I'm glad that you feel alone but just to hear someone with the same passion in struggling with weight loss and lack of support makes me feel that I'm not alone either. I started this program a little over a year ago and went MIA for one of the reasons you are expressing. I just recently got back on board on July 1st and all I see are "messages" from me to me. Support or no support, I've got to make this happen this time. Sure, support helps while promoting motivation by other people seeing your dairy. It adds an element of accountability on your part so I understand, but sometimes you just have to suck it up and keep your eye on the prize.

    I know absolutely no one on this board and I'm also struggling with weight loss alone in the real world. I'm the only over weight person in my household and pretty much in my extended family as well. I don't get out much and don't do too well with maintaining relationships (besides my marriage) therefore I have no friends. But I know that I CAN DO this. I've lost 32lbs (the hard way-the only way) and have managed to keep it off for 13 months now. I have about 40lbs to go and as of today, I'm psyched. I have my down moments, sometimes lasting a week or two, but I get back up again.

    WE CAN DO THIS! We can do it together. I'll be here.:smile:

    Sincerely,

    crcajo

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