Tactless Boyfriend!

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  • astrampe
    astrampe Posts: 2,169 Member
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    He does not know about your ED....He said something silly....Even at 18 you should know that most "Serious" relationships requires absolute honesty....
    How can the poor guy know what not to say if you don't talk to him about serious issues like this?
    And eating blueberries and yogurt and exercising 3 hours a day is still extremely close to ED behaviour - maybe talk to him about it and he can help you deal with it rather????
  • AnninStPaul
    AnninStPaul Posts: 1,372 Member
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    girl there's just so much wrong with this and your BF is only a part of the issue.

    for instance, why are you only eating yogurt and blueberries for lunch and working out 3 hour a day?

    you are asking for advice on the wrong thing dear....

    all i'll say i low self esteem people get with low self esteem people. yes he' a jerk, but the lack of respect he's showing you is just a reflection of your own lack of respect towards yourself. people tend to treat us the way we treat ourselves

    get right and your relationships will follow the same right direction

    ^^THIS
  • caraiselite
    caraiselite Posts: 2,631 Member
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    i think a lot of people are missing where she said that he doesn't know of her ED past, although it sounds like shes still suffering if all she had was yogurt for lunch but w/e.
  • MandyJaneRose
    MandyJaneRose Posts: 29 Member
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    Okay, so he doesn't know about her ED... in what world is eating a cup of yogurt and then exercising for 3 hours healthy or normal? That's like saying, "Oh well he didn't know she had a broken leg when she limped up to him..."

    C'mooonnnn.
  • caraiselite
    caraiselite Posts: 2,631 Member
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    her profile states:

    Why I Want To Get In Shape
    I want to create healthy habits before I go out into the world on my own. I want to be in shape first and foremost for my health, and on a more shallow level, I really hope the added bonus of it looking good will help my career as a performer.

    My Inspirations
    Clothes shopping
    Becoming a zumba instructor
    Being fit enough to dance while singing



    so if she is going to be a fitness instructor, they spend lots of time in the gym... doing.. fitnessy.. stuff.
  • stfriend
    stfriend Posts: 256 Member
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    Anytime you have to preface a topic with "my boyfriend's really sweet/wonderful/great" chances are good you already know he isn't these things. I think you know what he is and isn't and just aren't ready to face it. I've learned that in relationships women in general need to be direct about what they think and feel because men in general don't pick up on hints very well. (This is my experience and I know there are exceptions, just saying.). You also need to compromise, but on things like where to eat and which movie to see. Never compromise on your feelings (ie, do you feel he is the one) or how you are treated (but talk to him first to make sure you're understanding each other). Since you are going off to different colleges, might I suggest taking some time to be on your own and heal, THEN look for a guy who thinks you're fantastic just the way you are?

    As far as your diet and exercise, 3 hrs a day does sound like a bit much, but only you know how you feel. Everyone is different. Just make sure you are eating enough calories to fuel all that.
  • nnylee
    nnylee Posts: 814 Member
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    ...but that's a guy for you.

    "Oh, that's just the way guys are..." is NOT an excuse for guys and the way they behave.

    Edit: It also can go for girls too. "That's just the way they are" in general.
  • janessafantasma
    janessafantasma Posts: 312 Member
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    any man who comments on what a woman eats or her weight in a negative way...its a deal-breaker!

    THIS!

    And especially to make such an unnecessary comment about eating a yogurt?!

    If you have to defend your boyfriend as being a nice guy before explaining away the heartless and rude comments hes made, you may want to rethink how "nice" he is. Nothing he said was encouraging or positive and that is completely uncalled for, and given your history, you shouldn't have to put up with that crap.
  • weighlossforbaby
    weighlossforbaby Posts: 847 Member
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    3 hours is a long time at the gym!!!! Maybe you should tell him about your ED. I told my husband about mine that I had for 6 years shortly after we started dating cause I wanted to be honest with him. Your bf doesn't seem like a nice guy and he obviously doesn't love you if he is saying rude things to you all the time.

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