Ladies, how long do you make him wait?
Replies
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personally, I dont think that sex should be something people just give away. Thats kind of err... degrading. I mean, I dont think its really worth it if the two people involved arent in a good solid commited relationship. Sex shouldnt be the foundation of a relationship... and I dont think it should be the glue either. For a good relationship to happen there has to be attraction and spark of course, but along with that, there has to be communication and trust and commitment.
I look at it like this, a woman is like a cake. All the guys want a piece of that cake. So a girl lets this guy have a slice, another guy have a slice, and another and another... then what? When that woman gets married, she has nothing but a tray of cake crumbs left. All used up and special moments wasted. she has to face her husband (the one man she would have wanted to give anything and everything to) and know that he isnt the only lucky guy who got to share such intimacy and passion with. They both have to live with the fact that some other (or alot of other) people know what that cake feels like, looks like, tastes like, etc and vice versa. Sex isnt a game. And when people do it frivolously, emotions run high and people get really hurt and broken down. It gives you a temporary high while you're doing it.. and then once thats gone and the persons gone,, you feel gross and empty and alone.
Ive done it before with one person many times..and he waited a year before he got it. But ive learned my lesson the hard way. The next guy to get a slice of this cake will be the one guy that will matter to me the most..my husband. Because sex is personal. And its meant to be full of love and passion. And I wont find a greater love or passion than the one I will receive from my husband.
Ladies. Have some dignity and honor. If a man doesnt wanna stay with you because you wont "give it up" then he isnt right for you in the first place. You WILL find a man to appreciate just laying next to you and conversing and laughing with you. You just have to be smart enough to walk away from the horn dog douche bags that arent.
RESPECT YOURSELF and men will respect you. Besides, ive found that guys think its so much hotter when they have to really wait and work for it.0 -
Hahaha... I don't go by rules, I do what I feel at the time. BUT I'm in a committed relationship right now, so.... he usually doesn't have to wait too long.
The long distance thing kinda sucks though. I used to want to stay a virgin until I was married, but life happened and that did not happen. I'm not married yet, but I plan to get married eventually to my current beau. I do not have any regrets. All that has happened has made me who I am today. Yeah, I've had sex before marriage,but I'm not a *kitten*. Yes, I think waiting would have been a great thing, but I am only human. There is no wrong or right way to live life. As long as you can take responsibility for your decisions and try not to attack people with different views. 0 -
You guys can laugh and call me old fashioned, but we waited until our wedding night, and that was 22 years ago! Now I tell my kids the same thing!
Same with me. We waited til after we were married (1.5 years after we met online).0 -
:laugh: Nice response!I "taped" my now husband after a week... in a truck... in a school parking lot.:laugh:
Mmm, so classy.
I'm sorry... I wasn't asking for your aproval.:noway:
The problem with these people on their high-horses is that they often get knocked off them!!
at first, i read "knocked off" as "knocked up", which probably would apply as well.0 -
Till he gets out of the ropes I tied him up in! hahahahaha :bigsmile:0
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This is a fascinating sociological study going on here on MFP! This site is awesome! LOL0
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Well said! You are wise past your years.personally, I dont think that sex should be something people just give away. Thats kind of err... degrading. I mean, I dont think its really worth it if the two people involved arent in a good solid commited relationship. Sex shouldnt be the foundation of a relationship... and I dont think it should be the glue either. For a good relationship to happen there has to be attraction and spark of course, but along with that, there has to be communication and trust and commitment.
I look at it like this, a woman is like a cake. All the guys want a piece of that cake. So a girl lets this guy have a slice, another guy have a slice, and another and another... then what? When that woman gets married, she has nothing but a tray of cake crumbs left. All used up and special moments wasted. she has to face her husband (the one man she would have wanted to give anything and everything to) and know that he isnt the only lucky guy who got to share such intimacy and passion with. They both have to live with the fact that some other (or alot of other) people know what that cake feels like, looks like, tastes like, etc and vice versa. Sex isnt a game. And when people do it frivolously, emotions run high and people get really hurt and broken down. It gives you a temporary high while you're doing it.. and then once thats gone and the persons gone,, you feel gross and empty and alone.
Ive done it before with one person many times..and he waited a year before he got it. But ive learned my lesson the hard way. The next guy to get a slice of this cake will be the one guy that will matter to me the most..my husband. Because sex is personal. And its meant to be full of love and passion. And I wont find a greater love or passion than the one I will receive from my husband.
Ladies. Have some dignity and honor. If a man doesnt wanna stay with you because you wont "give it up" then he isnt right for you in the first place. You WILL find a man to appreciate just laying next to you and conversing and laughing with you. You just have to be smart enough to walk away from the horn dog douche bags that arent.
RESPECT YOURSELF and men will respect you. Besides, ive found that guys think its so much hotter when they have to really wait and work for it.0 -
My husband dated me for 5 months before anything major went down.0
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I'm old... I was married first. It's nice to see younger couples waiting too.
I married at 24 years old and we waited til after we were married :happy:0 -
And people wonder why STDs and single parenthood is so prevalent. :huh:
Any boy who will dump someone if they don't sleep with them by the 3rd or 5th date is not a man and not worth bothering with anyhow. If you sleep with such a loser on the 3rd date odds are you aren't going to be going out on a 4th date. He got what he wanted and is probably too immature to know there is more to dating than sex.
(Yea, yea I see the ones who married the guy they slept with on the first date. I've also known of people to hit the lotto. Just because it happens once in a great while doesn't mean it's even remotely common.)
<---- Single woman. Proudly so. No STD's and no babies. Get off yer high horse and let me live my darn life will ya? I don't pee all over your lifestyle choices all day long. K?
I'm not single, but I so agree with you. I know a guy who has slept with a LOT of women (I know he's not a girl but it leads to the same thing) He has never not once got an STD. I know a few women who I'm very close to that are single and go out and have sex, guess what... ..NO STD'S!!!! So just because some people sleep with someone on the first date, it's NOT The reason why STD's are so prevalent.0 -
Well said! You are wise past your years.
Who are you talking to? lol0 -
personally, I dont think that sex should be something people just give away. Thats kind of err... degrading. I mean, I dont think its really worth it if the two people involved arent in a good solid commited relationship. Sex shouldnt be the foundation of a relationship... and I dont think it should be the glue either. For a good relationship to happen there has to be attraction and spark of course, but along with that, there has to be communication and trust and commitment.
I look at it like this, a woman is like a cake. All the guys want a piece of that cake. So a girl lets this guy have a slice, another guy have a slice, and another and another... then what? When that woman gets married, she has nothing but a tray of cake crumbs left. All used up and special moments wasted. she has to face her husband (the one man she would have wanted to give anything and everything to) and know that he isnt the only lucky guy who got to share such intimacy and passion with. They both have to live with the fact that some other (or alot of other) people know what that cake feels like, looks like, tastes like, etc and vice versa. Sex isnt a game. And when people do it frivolously, emotions run high and people get really hurt and broken down. It gives you a temporary high while you're doing it.. and then once thats gone and the persons gone,, you feel gross and empty and alone.
Ive done it before with one person many times..and he waited a year before he got it. But ive learned my lesson the hard way. The next guy to get a slice of this cake will be the one guy that will matter to me the most..my husband. Because sex is personal. And its meant to be full of love and passion. And I wont find a greater love or passion than the one I will receive from my husband.
Ladies. Have some dignity and honor. If a man doesnt wanna stay with you because you wont "give it up" then he isnt right for you in the first place. You WILL find a man to appreciate just laying next to you and conversing and laughing with you. You just have to be smart enough to walk away from the horn dog douche bags that arent.
RESPECT YOURSELF and men will respect you. Besides, ive found that guys think its so much hotter when they have to really wait and work for it.
AMEN!0 -
personally, I dont think that sex should be something people just give away. Thats kind of err... degrading. I mean, I dont think its really worth it if the two people involved arent in a good solid commited relationship. Sex shouldnt be the foundation of a relationship... and I dont think it should be the glue either. For a good relationship to happen there has to be attraction and spark of course, but along with that, there has to be communication and trust and commitment.
I look at it like this, a woman is like a cake. All the guys want a piece of that cake. So a girl lets this guy have a slice, another guy have a slice, and another and another... then what? When that woman gets married, she has nothing but a tray of cake crumbs left. All used up and special moments wasted. she has to face her husband (the one man she would have wanted to give anything and everything to) and know that he isnt the only lucky guy who got to share such intimacy and passion with. They both have to live with the fact that some other (or alot of other) people know what that cake feels like, looks like, tastes like, etc and vice versa. Sex isnt a game. And when people do it frivolously, emotions run high and people get really hurt and broken down. It gives you a temporary high while you're doing it.. and then once thats gone and the persons gone,, you feel gross and empty and alone.
Ive done it before with one person many times..and he waited a year before he got it. But ive learned my lesson the hard way. The next guy to get a slice of this cake will be the one guy that will matter to me the most..my husband. Because sex is personal. And its meant to be full of love and passion. And I wont find a greater love or passion than the one I will receive from my husband.
Ladies. Have some dignity and honor. If a man doesnt wanna stay with you because you wont "give it up" then he isnt right for you in the first place. You WILL find a man to appreciate just laying next to you and conversing and laughing with you. You just have to be smart enough to walk away from the horn dog douche bags that arent.
RESPECT YOURSELF and men will respect you. Besides, ive found that guys think its so much hotter when they have to really wait and work for it.
i agree with you and totally respect your post. i have a sister who is only not yet 16 and trust me, i am protective over her as if she's my daughter.
but, you're also very young. with age, your views can change. we do need to protect our young women from being used, but the older you get, its the men that need to watch out. i've got a few single girlfriends that can get quite predatory when the drought gets to be too long.
i can't believe i'm telling this to an 18 year old. forget everything i just said.0 -
I think that every situation is different. I also think that it's really sad that girls get a bad rap for this but guys are studs for "tapping" whenever. I was in a marriage for 10 years, now divorced and really haven't been on a date. So with that being said I think that you shouldn't give in so quickly because what I've been told by my many guy friends is that when they know you're easy they don't want you for a relationship.0
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From 24 hours to 3 weeks. Depends on how smart he is.0
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My now husband and I started dating when we were 13 and we waited until we got married to have sex! It was super hard but our honeymoon was more than amazing and let me just say what we saved up for all the time has made our love life wild and crazy and perfect! We have been married 2 1/2 years now =]0
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Until I want to have sex.
Exactly. :laugh:0 -
And people wonder why STDs and single parenthood is so prevalent. :huh:
Any boy who will dump someone if they don't sleep with them by the 3rd or 5th date is not a man and not worth bothering with anyhow. If you sleep with such a loser on the 3rd date odds are you aren't going to be going out on a 4th date. He got what he wanted and is probably too immature to know there is more to dating than sex.
(Yea, yea I see the ones who married the guy they slept with on the first date. I've also known of people to hit the lotto. Just because it happens once in a great while doesn't mean it's even remotely common.)<---- Single woman. Proudly so. No STD's and no babies. Get off yer high horse and let me live my darn life will ya? I don't pee all over your lifestyle choices all day long. K?
<---Single no STD's and no kids either. And whatever time limit I've used from hours to months, I've *never* had an issue with a man thinking anything negative or being disrespected. It's because I choose men, not boys. It's not about time, it's about the person and the situation.0 -
Well...I made a move the first night, but he wanted to wait a few weeks.
Biologically speaking, we are not meant to be monogamous...few mammals are. (VERY few).
I get historically/religiously sex is a much bigger deal than just reproduction, but in my mind sex is not meant to be restricted to one person. We are meant to reproduce as much as possible so evolutionarily it makes no sense to be monogamous. Granted, I don't think there's as much natural selection since humans became fully civilized, but that's a bit off topic. And I know that people aren't having sex just to reproduce, but it's just something to think about. We are MEANT to do it. and a lot.
I understand to an extent that people want sex to be important and special, but I feel like that's just forcing ourselves to hold off on something that is so central to why we are alive. I dont know, call me what you may, but I don't really see the big deal.
Sex is sex. Not a whole lot more in my mind0 -
tap what? the report button?0
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case by case basis
Exactly. If there's something there, why not go for it?
I'm not easy, I'm an practical person. I wear my "nice" perfume all the time, if I want to wear my "good" dress with no occasion, I do. That whole "you can die at any moment" thing. I live my life the way that makes me happy. If it isn't how you'd live yours, that's fine.0 -
Well i have only dated and been with one guy. We didn't do anything for the first 3 months. I'd imagine It depends on the person and how badly I want it at the time. I'm glad i'm in a steady relationship and have been for 5 years, this dating and sleeping around thing sounds like a hassle.0
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:laugh:0
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usually a couple dates, but my bf we met at a bar one night, the next day went on a date, and then did it that night. i trusted him right off the bat though !0
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Well said! You are wise past your years.personally, I dont think that sex should be something people just give away. Thats kind of err... degrading. I mean, I dont think its really worth it if the two people involved arent in a good solid commited relationship. Sex shouldnt be the foundation of a relationship... and I dont think it should be the glue either. For a good relationship to happen there has to be attraction and spark of course, but along with that, there has to be communication and trust and commitment.
I look at it like this, a woman is like a cake. All the guys want a piece of that cake. So a girl lets this guy have a slice, another guy have a slice, and another and another... then what? When that woman gets married, she has nothing but a tray of cake crumbs left. All used up and special moments wasted. she has to face her husband (the one man she would have wanted to give anything and everything to) and know that he isnt the only lucky guy who got to share such intimacy and passion with. They both have to live with the fact that some other (or alot of other) people know what that cake feels like, looks like, tastes like, etc and vice versa. Sex isnt a game. And when people do it frivolously, emotions run high and people get really hurt and broken down. It gives you a temporary high while you're doing it.. and then once thats gone and the persons gone,, you feel gross and empty and alone.
Ive done it before with one person many times..and he waited a year before he got it. But ive learned my lesson the hard way. The next guy to get a slice of this cake will be the one guy that will matter to me the most..my husband. Because sex is personal. And its meant to be full of love and passion. And I wont find a greater love or passion than the one I will receive from my husband.
Ladies. Have some dignity and honor. If a man doesnt wanna stay with you because you wont "give it up" then he isnt right for you in the first place. You WILL find a man to appreciate just laying next to you and conversing and laughing with you. You just have to be smart enough to walk away from the horn dog douche bags that arent.
RESPECT YOURSELF and men will respect you. Besides, ive found that guys think its so much hotter when they have to really wait and work for it.
Thank you sincerely, i appreciate that :]0 -
My now husband and I started dating when we were 13 and we waited until we got married to have sex! It was super hard but our honeymoon was more than amazing and let me just say what we saved up for all the time has made our love life wild and crazy and perfect! We have been married 2 1/2 years now =]
That is so incredibly wonderful and beautiful! So great!0 -
'tap that'? what a childish, vulgar way to think!On average, how many dates before you let him tap that?
i make him wait however long it takes for me to actually want to.
and he's free to apply the same rule to me.
i'm an adult, so i don't play stupid, childish games.
nor do i have sex that i don't want.
it might take weeks, it might take months.
it's not something i ''give away'', like i'm rationing chocolate to a kid.
it's something i share, a two way street,with someone i want.0 -
tap what? the report button?
HAHAHAHHHA!!!!! that cracked me up! :laugh: :happy: :laugh:0 -
It's an interesting question really. It really does depend on the situation/chemistry however. Some people need to feel a connection or commitment first. Others just "click" as they say.
Us men can say what we want but a lot of us do tend to feel "privileged" or "challenged" nowadays so we typically try to go for it as soon as the opportunity presents itself.
However, If I am at out on a first date with a woman who I really like and care for, I tend to try to end the night respectfully. If we have a connection then great but I never want to do anything that would make the woman feel cheap or disrespected.
Bottom line: Sex is supposed to be a wonderful, amazing thing that people share together. Best to not cheapen it you know?0 -
making myself wait is hard enough...0
This discussion has been closed.
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