Any other single parents deal with this?

YaBoiMUGS
YaBoiMUGS Posts: 237
edited December 25 in Chit-Chat
You meet somebody, hit it off perfectly, then when they find out you have a kid, it scares them off. It's probably about to happen to me again, but has it happened to you?
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Replies

  • MissLuana
    MissLuana Posts: 356
    Personally I haven't had this happen to me. I only have one child though :bigsmile:
  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
    Nope. Never happened.

    But, how would they "find out". My kids are at teh top of my list. I mention them within 2 mintues of meeting any person in the world. I couldn't be on a whole date with someone without them knowing within a few mintues. In fact, I wouldn't even be on a date without someone knowing because that would have come up when I met them. So, I 'm not sure how the "them finding out" thing works in your world.
  • YaBoiMUGS
    YaBoiMUGS Posts: 237
    Damn, maybe it's just me then lol
  • DonniesGirl69
    DonniesGirl69 Posts: 644 Member
    No, but I tell guys up front that I have a kid. Of course, my kid is 17 and about to start her senior year in high school, so she's only got another year before she's out of the house. :)
  • IveLanded
    IveLanded Posts: 797 Member
    LOL! You're obviously a man because this happens to single moms ALL THE TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I'm a single mom, and back when I was online dating, there would be loads of men who would put in their profiles that they refused to date a single mom.

    I think it's easier with men because women are more accepting of it.
  • FitnFabMichelle
    FitnFabMichelle Posts: 161 Member
    Oh yeah - there are plenty of people who don't care for our baggage...i.e., our children. Eff 'em! It's a package deal and if they can't deal it's their loss, definitely not ours!
  • YaBoiMUGS
    YaBoiMUGS Posts: 237
    Young women aren't that accepting of it. Understand, most of the woman I date, or smash, still live with their parents. :/
  • LauraMacNCheese
    LauraMacNCheese Posts: 7,173 Member
    I'm up front and tell guys that I have 2 kids...more than once that's been enough to cease any & all conversation right from the get go.
  • still_crafty
    still_crafty Posts: 682 Member
    You meet somebody, hit it off perfectly, then when they find out you have a kid, it scares them off. It's probably about to happen to me again, but has it happened to you?

    usually when I meet someone the fact that I have a daughter is one of the first things I talk about. she's pretty much my life so it would be impossible for me to not mention her.
  • canelly
    canelly Posts: 731 Member
    Yup this happen to me before
  • suzieqcookie
    suzieqcookie Posts: 314 Member
    i let them know up front i have kids. it scares them off all the time. it baffles me because before i was ever married with kids, i dated single dads all the time and thought nothing of it.
  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
    It might depend on your age too. At 47, i don't care what some woman might think. When I was 25 or something, that's a different story.
  • FitnFabMichelle
    FitnFabMichelle Posts: 161 Member
    Young women aren't that accepting of it. Understand, most of the woman I date, or smash, still live with their parents. :/

    Yeah, you might have to date, or smash, gals who don't live at home. That there alone will help your situation. Oy!
  • still_crafty
    still_crafty Posts: 682 Member
    Young women aren't that accepting of it. Understand, most of the woman I date, or smash, still live with their parents. :/

    I think you've already figured out the problem.
  • DonniesGirl69
    DonniesGirl69 Posts: 644 Member
    Young women aren't that accepting of it. Understand, most of the woman I date, or smash, still live with their parents. :/

    You must be young....lol

    If they can't accept your children, they're not worth your time.
  • YaBoiMUGS
    YaBoiMUGS Posts: 237
    Young women aren't that accepting of it. Understand, most of the woman I date, or smash, still live with their parents. :/

    Yeah, you might have to date, or smash, gals who don't live at home. That there alone will help your situation. Oy!

    It's hard, I'm still in college lol
  • angieleighbyrd
    angieleighbyrd Posts: 989 Member
    I'm not a single mom anymore, but I was for 11 years.

    Not everyone agrees with this, but I can't blame some people for running off, especially at my age. I was very young when I had my first. Kids are scary and not everyone is ready for that type of commitment. If the relationship doesn't work, you aren't the only one losing out. The kid is too. That's why I made it a point to let the guy know ahead of time that I was a mom. No that doesn't mean they met my kid right away, but there is no point in going on a few dates with someone, getting even a little bit attached then tell them I was a mom only to have them run off.
  • dragonc321
    dragonc321 Posts: 33
    It happens to me all the time, but I make sure up front that the guy knows I am a single mom. If they can't handle me having a kid then they aren't the person I'm meant to be with. On to the next! :smile:
  • Well maybe you should tell them upfront and date a more mature type girl who doesn't live with her parents. Just a thought.
  • autumnk921
    autumnk921 Posts: 1,374 Member
    I have never had this happen that I know of....I always tell them within the first few minutes of chatting or talking that I have kids...One is 19 and in college but I also have a 3yr old at home...Now, I have had guys that quit calling or chatting later and maybe it was about me having kids I am not sure but oh well....To each their own I guess...

    OP I wouldn't worry to much about it b/c if they can't handle that you have a kid then she is not someone that you could stay with anyways is it??? Not me...
  • Sounds like you need to change the type of women you date. When i met my husband he was up front about being divorced with a child. It was part of the attraction for me. 18 years and 2 more kids later and i'm still here. and OUR oldest son is 21 and serving in the USN. Good luck to you.
  • Ames1026
    Ames1026 Posts: 38 Member
    I always tell people I have 4 kids ranging from 2.5-9. The guys that have kids it doesn't faze. The guys that don't have kids are the ones that I problems with.
  • LoggingForLife
    LoggingForLife Posts: 504 Member
    Yup. They can't hack it. I let them go because they will be nothing but trouble down the road!
  • dragonc321
    dragonc321 Posts: 33
    Not everyone agrees with this, but I can't blame some people for running off, especially at my age. I was very young when I had my first. Kids are scary and not everyone is ready for that type of commitment. If the relationship doesn't work, you aren't the only one losing out. The kid is too. That's why I made it a point to let the guy know ahead of time that I was a mom. No that doesn't mean they met my kid right away, but there is no point in going on a few dates with someone, getting even a little bit attached then tell them I was a mom only to have them run off.

    ^^THIS... Very well said.
  • caraiselite
    caraiselite Posts: 2,631 Member
    i don't date.
    problem solved.

    haha ok seriously.



    i would tell people right away that i have 2 kids, that way if they're scared off, good. i didn't waste my time. they didn't waste theirs.
  • Daisy_Cutter
    Daisy_Cutter Posts: 774
    It never gets to a date if they don't like the fact I have two daughters. I offer that info up first and foremost.

    The main problem I have is with guys when I tell them I don't WANT to have anymore kids. Some guys have waited until their 40s to decide they want a family and.... well, I'm done.
  • 4x4play
    4x4play Posts: 200 Member
    You meet somebody, hit it off perfectly, then when they find out you have a kid, it scares them off. It's probably about to happen to me again, but has it happened to you?

    usually when I meet someone the fact that I have a daughter is one of the first things I talk about. she's pretty much my life so it would be impossible for me to not mention her.

    ^^^ this except I have two boys. They are my life and everyone knows about them. If you can't handle the fact that I have 2 beautiful boys then you sure the hell don't deserve me!
  • YaBoiMUGS
    YaBoiMUGS Posts: 237
    I notice women bring up their kids immediately, and guys don't.
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
    My fiance knew I had kids before we started a relationship.
    Being a good mother is one of the things that drew him to me.



    It really just depends on what you want.
  • littledumplings
    littledumplings Posts: 223 Member
    I've never scared anone off coz I have a kid, at my age (43) most people have....but I just scared someone away when he found out I bench press!!! :(
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