Any other single parents deal with this?
Replies
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It never gets to a date if they don't like the fact I have two daughters. I offer that info up first and foremost.
The main problem I have is with guys when I tell them I don't WANT to have anymore kids. Some guys have waited until their 40s to decide they want a family and.... well, I'm done.
Yes, I met someone who was 46, and she still wanted to meet someone and have kids. I'm like, yeah, no. I'm out. I'm planning retirement, at this point.0 -
Im up front with them. In fact, my son is often bait.
just kidding, he picks up chicks just for me0 -
The only time I ended things with a single dad was when he kept his kid a secret from me. We dated for about 3 months, THEN he told me had a child. My whole outlook on him changed after that. It came off to me like he was ashamed of his kid.
It wasn't really a conscious decision of "Oh he kept this from me, now its over." He just started to look more like a douche every date we had after that.
And I have dated other single dads since. I guess the nurturer in me is attracted to the nurturer in them.0 -
Im up front with them. In fact, my son is often bait.
just kidding, he picks up chicks just for me
Oh hell yeah, I've used my son to help me pick up chicks at the beach, but that's only when I'm trying to smash. I put dating on a whole 'nother level though lol.0 -
The only time I ended things with a single dad was when he kept his kid a secret from me. We dated for about 3 months, THEN he told me had a child. My whole outlook on him changed after that. It came off to me like he was ashamed of his kid.
It wasn't really a conscious decision of "Oh he kept this from me, now its over." He just started to look more like a douche every date we had after that.
And I have dated other single dads since. I guess the nurturer in me is attracted to the nurturer in them.
3 months is crazy. 2 things I don't do on a first date, bring up my son, or kiss a girl at the end of the night. I save all that for the second date. I think the first date is more about a connection between me and her. Sometimes they head for the hills after the second date. Kid is too much for a single girl in her early 20's0 -
I've never had this happened but if it did i would be thankful for them to run when they found out i had kids. It's a package deal and if you can't accept all of us then you're not the man for me.0
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Im up front with them. In fact, my son is often bait.
just kidding, he picks up chicks just for me
Oh hell yeah, I've used my son to help me pick up chicks at the beach, but that's only when I'm trying to smash. I put dating on a whole 'nother level though lol.
This doesn't work the other way around...I fail to see the fairness of this...0 -
Im up front with them. In fact, my son is often bait.
just kidding, he picks up chicks just for me
Oh hell yeah, I've used my son to help me pick up chicks at the beach, but that's only when I'm trying to smash. I put dating on a whole 'nother level though lol.
This doesn't work the other way around...I fail to see the fairness of this...
Lol that's because women find being a great father to be a "sexy" quality. I've noticed younger girls have no problem sleeping with a single father, but dating them is a different story.
and by younger girls I mean above drinking limit.0 -
It never gets to a date if they don't like the fact I have two daughters. I offer that info up first and foremost.
The main problem I have is with guys when I tell them I don't WANT to have anymore kids. Some guys have waited until their 40s to decide they want a family and.... well, I'm done.
THIS!! What IS that!?!?
I swear, 90% of the guys I meet are all "I'd like to have kids."
Dude....I'm 39. This baby factory is closed!
(sorry, off topic) LOL0 -
Im up front with them. In fact, my son is often bait.
just kidding, he picks up chicks just for me
My uncle used to take his daughter to Hooters as "bait." Worked like a charm.
OP: Sounds like you need to start dating older more mature women who don't live with their parents still.0 -
Im up front with them. In fact, my son is often bait.
just kidding, he picks up chicks just for me
My uncle used to take his daughter to Hooters as "bait." Worked like a charm.
Going to hooters with a $20 bill works like a charm too lol0 -
Im up front with them. In fact, my son is often bait.
just kidding, he picks up chicks just for me
Oh hell yeah, I've used my son to help me pick up chicks at the beach, but that's only when I'm trying to smash. I put dating on a whole 'nother level though lol.
This doesn't work the other way around...I fail to see the fairness of this...
Lol that's because women find being a great father to be a "sexy" quality. I've noticed younger girls have no problem sleeping with a single father, but dating them is a different story.
and by younger girls I mean above drinking limit.
Ok...I'll give you that one...being a good father is definitely a sexy quality :bigsmile: But, then, so is being a good mom
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When I met my ex husband I had one child and he had two - obviously it never put either of us off.
When i met my husband I had three children including one special needs and I was always honest about it. I did date a few guys who did not understand that my children came first and they quickly went by the wayside.
If anyone is worth keeping they will accept that you have a child or children.0 -
Only men have run....or maybe it´s just my personality or looks....some people just don´t want to handle other peoples children0
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I suppose it happens to me sometimes, but I really dont care... because if they were not willing to accept my daughter than I dont want them around... we are a package deal, you cant have me without her (and some men have tried).
I always mention my daughter up front, and if I am online dating it is on my profile... no secrets here, take it or leave it... I dont want to waste my time with someone who is immature or who doesnt want kids.0 -
Constantly! I raise my kids alone (their dad lives across the country and is barely involved). My boys are only 3 and 4. Doesn't seem to matter that I got married, then had kids and ended up divorced. I would think the divorced thing would bother guys more than the kids. Oh well, the guy isn't worth it if he walks away over me having kids.0
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Young women aren't that accepting of it. Understand, most of the woman I date, or smash, still live with their parents.
You must be young....lol
If they can't accept your children, they're not worth your time.
I was going to say something like this...OP is either pretty young...or has a ittle growing up to do.
If you are smashing a chick...The hopefully you learned from the past and jimmy up...a true Smasher would have no problem SMASHING while have a kid and not run a chick off because well....You are just smashing...
now if you plan on make a girl wifey material...then hopefully you have some respect for her to tell her you have a child before smashing?
I personally never had a girl run when I disclose I have a child...in fact I have women want to know more about me...and have become closer to me.....
I don't know your issue0 -
Young women aren't that accepting of it. Understand, most of the woman I date, or smash, still live with their parents.
I'm 24 years old. And I would never turn down a man because he has kids. To me, its beyond idiotic.0 -
My daughter is front and center in my life, so it's really one of the first things any man ever finds out about me. I understand that some people choose to not mention their kids in the first couple of dates to be cautious, but my idea of caution is that I do talk about her, but I don't mention her name for a while, or little identifiers that will keep her safe. I also don't let anyone meet her until I (and she) are VERY comfortable with the idea.
I wouldn't keep your child from them, put it right out there so you don't waste time with people that scare easily, but don't tell them anything personal, just say I have a child from a previous relationship and I'm not ready to talk about that with you yet, but I just wanted you to understand all aspects of ME and know where my priorities and obligations are coming from. If we go any further, I'll be ready to talk about it more indepth with you.
That's the only advice I can give.
Lauren0 -
I think they don't want to deal with baby-mama drama. Or maybe they feel they're too young to come second to someone? Just my thoughts. I haven't been single in 7 years but if I met a guy I liked and he had a kid it wouldn't bother me.
Well that's what i say, but who knows?0 -
It's happened once or twice. I try to make a point of mentioning my kids fairly quickly so I don't end up wasting my time. I've been fairly lucky that a lot of the guys I meet either have kids of their own or really like kids so don't mind that I have them.
Hope you find somebody like that, everybody deserves that happiness.0 -
That is because a single mother has her children around 24/7 and their children are the biggest part of their lifes.0
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Young women aren't that accepting of it. Understand, most of the woman I date, or smash, still live with their parents.
I'm 24 years old. And I would never turn down a man because he has kids. To me, its beyond idiotic.
Idiotic might be a bit harsh. Not everyone wants kids, and if that's the case they're not likely looking to potentially raise someone elses. Not necessarily a bad thing.0 -
I always tell them up front. I'd rather them find out right away. I'd rather cut my losses at the begining without having any feelings.0
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I've been a single mom to two boys for over a year, no dates so far, but I would defiantly bring it up first just so I don't waste my time with someone who can't handle kids.0
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^^ This! was my issue. My baby factory got shut down at 30 though.....By choice. Dating someone now, who has no kids and loves mine.... Makes me wonder though if he really is ok with not "reproducing" so to speakIt never gets to a date if they don't like the fact I have two daughters. I offer that info up first and foremost.
The main problem I have is with guys when I tell them I don't WANT to have anymore kids. Some guys have waited until their 40s to decide they want a family and.... well, I'm done.
THIS!! What IS that!?!?
I swear, 90% of the guys I meet are all "I'd like to have kids."
Dude....I'm 39. This baby factory is closed!
(sorry, off topic) LOL
Though to the OP I never had an issue as guys pretty much knew from the get go I had children. ei: want to go out Staurday Night?...Me: Sure, I have a sitter on stand by ......voila, they know instantly. This is never something I would keep private about. Perhaps revisit the type of ladies your chasing?
In any case dating when your a single parent is never easy.0 -
Young women aren't that accepting of it. Understand, most of the woman I date, or smash, still live with their parents.
I'm 24 years old. And I would never turn down a man because he has kids. To me, its beyond idiotic.
Idiotic might be a bit harsh. Not everyone wants kids, and if that's the case they're not likely looking to potentially raise someone elses. Not necessarily a bad thing.
I suppose I may have been a bit too harsh in my choice of words.0 -
Young women aren't that accepting of it. Understand, most of the woman I date, or smash, still live with their parents.
You must be young....lol
If they can't accept your children, they're not worth your time.
I was going to say something like this...OP is either pretty young...or has a ittle growing up to do.
If you are smashing a chick...The hopefully you learned from the past and jimmy up...a true Smasher would have no problem SMASHING while have a kid and not run a chick off because well....You are just smashing...
now if you plan on make a girl wifey material...then hopefully you have some respect for her to tell her you have a child before smashing?
I personally never had a girl run when I disclose I have a child...in fact I have women want to know more about me...and have become closer to me.....
I don't know your issue
Trust me, I've done enough growing up. No, when I'm smashing, I don't care if I even catch their name. Now when I'm trying to wife up a shorty, like I was planning with this one, I bring it up usually on the second date, because let's be honest, if I'm giving you a first date, then I see potential in us growing together, let alone a second one, cause it's something she should now before we go further. Sometimes though, it scares them off. Like I said, I'm still in college, but I went back after I got out of the Navy, so I'm around younger women, 20-25, a lot. A lot of single girls around that age have no intentions of dealing with someone else's "baggage." They don't care about smashing because all they get is me, and I'm cool with that, but if I'm trying to talk to you, get to know you, then it becomes an issue.0 -
Young women aren't that accepting of it. Understand, most of the woman I date, or smash, still live with their parents.
So let me get this straight...most the women you date/smash still live with their parents (you're 26 so I'm assuming they too are in their early 20's), don't like men with kids and don't show up to dinner dates you take the time to prepare???
I do believe you need to change your taste in women...stated in the nicest way possible :flowerforyou:0 -
You meet somebody, hit it off perfectly, then when they find out you have a kid, it scares them off. It's probably about to happen to me again, but has it happened to you?
Women are created to have babies! If you meet a woman and she wants nothing to do with you after finding out you have a kid, you're probably better off! Esp if you are looking for something long term!0
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