Any other single parents deal with this?

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  • sailorsiren13
    sailorsiren13 Posts: 460
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    Sounds like you need to change the type of women you date. When i met my husband he was up front about being divorced with a child. It was part of the attraction for me. 18 years and 2 more kids later and i'm still here. and OUR oldest son is 21 and serving in the USN. Good luck to you.
  • Ames1026
    Ames1026 Posts: 38 Member
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    I always tell people I have 4 kids ranging from 2.5-9. The guys that have kids it doesn't faze. The guys that don't have kids are the ones that I problems with.
  • LoggingForLife
    LoggingForLife Posts: 504 Member
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    Yup. They can't hack it. I let them go because they will be nothing but trouble down the road!
  • dragonc321
    dragonc321 Posts: 33
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    Not everyone agrees with this, but I can't blame some people for running off, especially at my age. I was very young when I had my first. Kids are scary and not everyone is ready for that type of commitment. If the relationship doesn't work, you aren't the only one losing out. The kid is too. That's why I made it a point to let the guy know ahead of time that I was a mom. No that doesn't mean they met my kid right away, but there is no point in going on a few dates with someone, getting even a little bit attached then tell them I was a mom only to have them run off.

    ^^THIS... Very well said.
  • caraiselite
    caraiselite Posts: 2,631 Member
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    i don't date.
    problem solved.

    haha ok seriously.



    i would tell people right away that i have 2 kids, that way if they're scared off, good. i didn't waste my time. they didn't waste theirs.
  • Daisy_Cutter
    Daisy_Cutter Posts: 774
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    It never gets to a date if they don't like the fact I have two daughters. I offer that info up first and foremost.

    The main problem I have is with guys when I tell them I don't WANT to have anymore kids. Some guys have waited until their 40s to decide they want a family and.... well, I'm done.
  • 4x4play
    4x4play Posts: 200 Member
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    You meet somebody, hit it off perfectly, then when they find out you have a kid, it scares them off. It's probably about to happen to me again, but has it happened to you?

    usually when I meet someone the fact that I have a daughter is one of the first things I talk about. she's pretty much my life so it would be impossible for me to not mention her.

    ^^^ this except I have two boys. They are my life and everyone knows about them. If you can't handle the fact that I have 2 beautiful boys then you sure the hell don't deserve me!
  • YaBoiMUGS
    YaBoiMUGS Posts: 237
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    I notice women bring up their kids immediately, and guys don't.
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
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    My fiance knew I had kids before we started a relationship.
    Being a good mother is one of the things that drew him to me.



    It really just depends on what you want.
  • littledumplings
    littledumplings Posts: 223 Member
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    I've never scared anone off coz I have a kid, at my age (43) most people have....but I just scared someone away when he found out I bench press!!! :(
  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
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    It never gets to a date if they don't like the fact I have two daughters. I offer that info up first and foremost.

    The main problem I have is with guys when I tell them I don't WANT to have anymore kids. Some guys have waited until their 40s to decide they want a family and.... well, I'm done.

    Yes, I met someone who was 46, and she still wanted to meet someone and have kids. I'm like, yeah, no. I'm out. I'm planning retirement, at this point.
  • BigDaddyBRC
    BigDaddyBRC Posts: 2,395 Member
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    Im up front with them. In fact, my son is often bait.





    just kidding, he picks up chicks just for me
  • luvmyleo
    luvmyleo Posts: 94 Member
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    The only time I ended things with a single dad was when he kept his kid a secret from me. We dated for about 3 months, THEN he told me had a child. My whole outlook on him changed after that. It came off to me like he was ashamed of his kid.

    It wasn't really a conscious decision of "Oh he kept this from me, now its over." He just started to look more like a douche every date we had after that.

    And I have dated other single dads since. I guess the nurturer in me is attracted to the nurturer in them.
  • YaBoiMUGS
    YaBoiMUGS Posts: 237
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    Im up front with them. In fact, my son is often bait.





    just kidding, he picks up chicks just for me

    Oh hell yeah, I've used my son to help me pick up chicks at the beach, but that's only when I'm trying to smash. I put dating on a whole 'nother level though lol.
  • YaBoiMUGS
    YaBoiMUGS Posts: 237
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    The only time I ended things with a single dad was when he kept his kid a secret from me. We dated for about 3 months, THEN he told me had a child. My whole outlook on him changed after that. It came off to me like he was ashamed of his kid.

    It wasn't really a conscious decision of "Oh he kept this from me, now its over." He just started to look more like a douche every date we had after that.

    And I have dated other single dads since. I guess the nurturer in me is attracted to the nurturer in them.

    3 months is crazy. 2 things I don't do on a first date, bring up my son, or kiss a girl at the end of the night. I save all that for the second date. I think the first date is more about a connection between me and her. Sometimes they head for the hills after the second date. Kid is too much for a single girl in her early 20's
  • knwitall
    knwitall Posts: 420 Member
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    I've never had this happened but if it did i would be thankful for them to run when they found out i had kids. It's a package deal and if you can't accept all of us then you're not the man for me.
  • LauraMacNCheese
    LauraMacNCheese Posts: 7,198 Member
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    Im up front with them. In fact, my son is often bait.





    just kidding, he picks up chicks just for me

    Oh hell yeah, I've used my son to help me pick up chicks at the beach, but that's only when I'm trying to smash. I put dating on a whole 'nother level though lol.

    This doesn't work the other way around...I fail to see the fairness of this...
  • YaBoiMUGS
    YaBoiMUGS Posts: 237
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    Im up front with them. In fact, my son is often bait.





    just kidding, he picks up chicks just for me

    Oh hell yeah, I've used my son to help me pick up chicks at the beach, but that's only when I'm trying to smash. I put dating on a whole 'nother level though lol.

    This doesn't work the other way around...I fail to see the fairness of this...

    Lol that's because women find being a great father to be a "sexy" quality. I've noticed younger girls have no problem sleeping with a single father, but dating them is a different story.

    and by younger girls I mean above drinking limit.
  • DonniesGirl69
    DonniesGirl69 Posts: 644 Member
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    It never gets to a date if they don't like the fact I have two daughters. I offer that info up first and foremost.

    The main problem I have is with guys when I tell them I don't WANT to have anymore kids. Some guys have waited until their 40s to decide they want a family and.... well, I'm done.

    THIS!! What IS that!?!?
    I swear, 90% of the guys I meet are all "I'd like to have kids."

    Dude....I'm 39. This baby factory is closed!
    (sorry, off topic) LOL
  • VelociMama
    VelociMama Posts: 3,119 Member
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    Im up front with them. In fact, my son is often bait.





    just kidding, he picks up chicks just for me

    My uncle used to take his daughter to Hooters as "bait." Worked like a charm.

    OP: Sounds like you need to start dating older more mature women who don't live with their parents still.

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