My sister wants another cat she can't afford

MaryB2

*shrug* at least she's not having human babies.

Also although you say she is irresponsible she did manage to scrape the money together to care for her other pets including one that belonged to your mum until it died.

I don't know the circumstances but it might not have been unreasonable for you to contribute to the costs for your mum's cat.

That's the point. She constantly neglects them because she can't pay for them and they get sicker. And you're right, you don't know the circumstances and it is unreasonable for me to contribute to the costs of my mother's cat. The only reason she hasn't gotten knocked up is because she can't or you better believe the government would be taking care of them.

WOW!! You sound like a loving sister!

You didn't grow up in that house so please leave your sarcasm to yourself.

Considering you posted on a public forum I will say whatever I please. I didn't grow up in your house but you sound like an awful person. It does not seem like she gets them and abandons them. I am involved in dog rescue and there a lot of people that love their animals who we help with vetting so they stay in good homes. Considering you live 1000 miles away from her I doubt you know what is going on in her life and what she can or can't do right now.

Not to mention, if I had grown up in a house with you I'd probably want to be surrounded by cats instead of humans also.

When I was younger I was a mess and got into too much trouble. As frustrated as my siblings were they would NEVER have talked bad about me to a bunch of strangers. As a matter of fact they never talked bad about me to ME. They told me what I was doing wrong but also helped me make changes instead of tearing me down. You are saying some really horrible things about her with her not being able to defend herself.

I don't see how it's any of your business, but ok.

As I said, when she posted in a public forum that makes it open to peoples opinion, mine is that she sounds like a horrible sister.

And mine is that it's none of your damn business.

Great!! Now we both have made our opinions clear. Shall we state them again? :-)

cobracars

When I lived with my mom and dad we had a cat named Tyson, he became ill when I moved out and and we couldn't afford much of the vet bills if any, but we still brought him and now were still paying off the vet bill for his Xrays, blood tests, and sadly, getting him put down. You can still be a responsible and loving pet owner with out cash. You just have to know what to do should a bad situation happen.

I applaud you for doing this, thank you for being a responsible pet owner, and it would appear you are wise enough not to take on multiple pets if you were struggling with the vet care of one. You have honor and integrity as well as a loving heart.

Unlike you, my sister takes on many pets. Similar to hoarding of material things, but with animals. She will find a vet and develop a good relationship with them, then gradually start to take advantage of their care and generosity, and eventually run up a bill she can't pay. Then she moves along to the next vet. Her rationale is "they are doctors and rich and they can afford it". So the unfortunate vet that tried to help someone gets stuck not being compensated for their time, trouble, and supplies.

33neenaj

. And this post was not about my relationship with my sister.

Perhaps not. But you should have kept the personal stuff out and just said something like, "My sis is on unemployment and wants another cat. She really cant afford it. She shouldnt get one." or words to that effect. The less put in a post the better,

Oh please...the woman simply posted about her sister taking on more pissy cats than she could afford. She obviously has a hoarding problem.

Crochetluvr

. And this post was not about my relationship with my sister.

Perhaps not. But you should have kept the personal stuff out and just said something like, "My sis is on unemployment and wants another cat. She really cant afford it. She shouldnt get one." or words to that effect. The less put in a post the better,

Oh please...the woman simply posted about her sister taking on more pissy cats than she could afford. She obviously has a hoarding problem.

Hmmmm...my son has 3 cats....wouldn't consider HIM a hoarder. But whatever you say.......

futuresizeeight

That's the point. She constantly neglects them because she can't pay for them and they get sicker. And you're right, you don't know the circumstances and it is unreasonable for me to contribute to the costs of my mother's cat. The only reason she hasn't gotten knocked up is because she can't or you better believe the government would be taking care of them.

I'm very sorry about the loss of your mom, and I completely understand the frustration at people not taking care of pets, as a cat lover myself.

This post seems to indicate some underlying issues, however, and I don't think these emotions you're showing are truly about your sister adopting a cat. You might think that's the reason, but chances are it's something deeper than that. To me, and I could be wrong, it seems like you have a lot of resentment towards your sister because of her perceived selfishness and the fact that your mother may have "bailed her out" more than she should have. I'm not trying to attack you or be snarky, but if a family member living 1,000 miles away is causing you these kinds of destructive emotions, it might be best to talk to someone about it. If you're not seeing a therapist or counselor at the moment, it might help you put things in perspective, and realize that caring this much about another adult's behavior is not healthy for your mental and physical well-being. I know how dysfunctional family situations work, and I never would have gotten past many of the (similar) issues from my own if I hadn't sought therapy.

clydethecat

Actually vet bills for cats can be very pricey, and they can get sick with or without perfect care. It sucks, but that's the truth.

its true, i recently added up everything we paid to the vet for our cats and dog over the last 4 years. it came to over $4k. part of that was putting down one of our cats that got sick. but really we're paying for rabies every year. there are other vaccines that are needed. each time we go it seems like its over $150. and then theres the animals getting normal sickness. my oldest cat had issues with throwing up and had to be seen a bunch of times. the baby had to get fixed as well as all the vaccines. and the medications. my dog needs a $50 a month medication.

you really have to be in a good financial situation to take on an animal, and the cost rises exponentially when you have more than one. i love my pets, i would pay even more for their health care because i want them healthy and happy. taking on a pet when you dont know if you can handle the vet bills does no one any good.

MaryB2

. And this post was not about my relationship with my sister.

Perhaps not. But you should have kept the personal stuff out and just said something like, "My sis is on unemployment and wants another cat. She really cant afford it. She shouldnt get one." or words to that effect. The less put in a post the better,

Oh please...the woman simply posted about her sister taking on more pissy cats than she could afford. She obviously has a hoarding problem.

Hmmmm...my son has 3 cats....wouldn't consider HIM a hoarder. But whatever you say.......

Exactly what I was thinking. I have 3 dogs dogs and that is far from hoarding.

LuneBleu85

I feel your pain (sort of)

I used to board my horse at a stable with a woman who had 5 horses who were severely neglected. I called the vet (and was stuck with the bill) several times due to acute medical issues with 2 of these horses. I did contact the SPCA with no results. She refused to pay me back.

When I left that stable she had acquired 4 more horses, bringing her total to 9. And the owners put her in charge of the barn, even though they told me mulitple times that she never paid her full board.

I think she was a hoarder of some sort and most likely had some other issues going on. My heart breaks for the horses.

futuremalestripper

I've got 6 cats. I can afford them, but this litter-box business is driving me mad.
If I could find my ginger cat a home, I'd be set.

saragato

Is there a reason why she's adamant about having these cats despite money issues? Are they an emotional balm for her, is she obsessed, etc? Honestly it sounds like your sister, mentally, doesn't live in this world whether because there's something wrong or she refuses to face reality. In either case it sounds like she needs help.

I know this sounds mean but if she gets the cat and they're living in sub-par conditions (dirty home, not enough food, maybe being let free to roam the neighborhood) then call the Humane Society of your city on her. They can either help her or take the animals away and basically force her not to have any more.

I have 3 cats of my own, I live on disability, but I can afford basic care for my cats, food, water, and clean shelter for them. I have the ability to take care of them and if I didn't they wouldn't be with me. Sure sometimes I'd like another cat but I know I couldn't afford it and that it would be too many for me. Your sister sounds like she doesn't really think about things, she just goes with it until she ends up at the bottom of the pit again.

Kara_xxx

It amuses me that some people are piping up in some bizarre support of someone they've never met. What's all that about?

Mary, you've never met her sister so how exactly have you formed this grand opinion of the OPs sister or better even commenting on their family dynamics? :huh:

And with reference to people involved with shelters and how they're always right etc... :laugh: I am also involved with our local dogs home and the types of folk the OP describes are in fact the bane of our life!! The types who buy a cheap puppy off some backyard breeder because they want something to love THEM, then don't train them, feed them crap, don't neuter them and come back to us cos they have no money for vets bills. And if her sister is anything like that then the rant is perfectly justified IMHO. :drinker:

MaryB2

It amuses me that some people are piping up in some bizarre support of someone they've never met. What's all that about?

Mary, you've never met her sister so how exactly have you formed this grand opinion of the OPs sister or better even commenting on their family dynamics? :huh:

And with reference to people involved with shelters and how they're always right etc... :laugh: I am also involved with our local dogs home and the types of folk the OP describes are in fact the bane of our life!! The types who buy a cheap puppy off some backyard breeder because they want something to love THEM, then don't train them, feed them crap, don't neuter them and come back to us cos they have no money for vets bills. And if her sister is anything like that then the rant is perfectly justified IMHO. :drinker:

I have never met her sister but I don't think that anything she was saying personally about her sister had to do with the cat. She could have asked the question without attacking her.

She did not say her sister is buying another cat but ADOPTING one. That means it will come neutered and spayed. You have no way of knowing if what the OP is saying is accurate or not. She said that it's not abuse and doesn't need a call to the authorities about animal abuse. Because even living 1000 miles away she could get online or make a phone call to report it. You don't know that she feeds the cats crap or anything else. The OP already stated that when her moms cat got sick the sister, not the OP found a way to cover the costs.

Kara_xxx

Mary... SO WHAT????? She had a rant about her sister... AND?? What's it to you??

As you helpfully pointed out, it's a public forum and she can pretty much rant as she sees fit. People come here and have a moan about unsupportive husbands, interfering mothers and God knows what else. Who are you to tell them that they can't?

MaryB2

Mary... SO WHAT????? She had a rant about her sister... AND?? What's it to you??

As you helpfully pointed out, it's a public forum and she can pretty much rant as she sees fit. People come here and have a moan about unsupportive husbands, interfering mothers and God knows what else. Who are you to tell them that they can't?

I didn't say she can't, I gave my opinion of how it sounds to me.

TheFunBun

Technically, I cannot afford the 8 pets I have. If all 8 of them came down with upper respiratory infections, they would all be eating fish antibiotics. I obviously could go into debt for emergency surgeries, but with 8 pets, if all 8 of them decide to get a blockage, or come down with bloat, we're pretty much effed.

The alternative is that all of my pets (all rescues except for one weepy pet store puppy) are dead. All of my dogs were someone else's BAD dogs, now reformed. 2 of my cats are black (which don't adopt well) and one of the black cats is violent. The other one is so vocal I have even contemplated strangling it, and I am a bonafide animal LOVER. The last cat is the kind you can't allow next to your nipples or armpits or the fat on the back of your arm, because that ***** wants to nibble.

Now, I'm not a PETA style bioethics kind of girl. I'm more of a "I'm pretty sure even though you're going to be eating fish antibiotics, it's better than being dead, isn't it kitty?" kind of girl.

I say if the litterboxes are clean, there's food to be had.. it isn't really that shameful. Obviously, you have the right to tell her she can't afford a cat, and that's cool... but the fact is, if only people who can AFFORD animals got them, the shelters would still be full of other people's bad pets, and no one would be there to take them.

MaryB2

Technically, I cannot afford the 8 pets I have. If all 8 of them came down with upper respiratory infections, they would all be eating fish antibiotics. I obviously could go into debt for emergency surgeries, but with 8 pets, if all 8 of them decide to get a blockage, or come down with bloat, we're pretty much effed.

The alternative is that all of my pets (all rescues except for one weepy pet store puppy) are dead. All of my dogs were someone else's BAD dogs, now reformed. 2 of my cats are black (which don't adopt well) and one of the black cats is violent. The other one is so vocal I have even contemplated strangling it, and I am a bonafide animal LOVER. The last cat is the kind you can't allow next to your nipples or armpits or the fat on the back of your arm, because that ***** wants to nibble.

Now, I'm not a PETA style bioethics kind of girl. I'm more of a "I'm pretty sure even though you're going to be eating fish antibiotics, it's better than being dead, isn't it kitty?" kind of girl.

I say if the litterboxes are clean, there's food to be had.. it isn't really that shameful. Obviously, you have the right to tell her she can't afford a cat, and that's cool... but the fact is, if only people who can AFFORD animals got them, the shelters would still be full of other people's bad pets, and no one would be there to take them.

Very well said!!

42kgirl

Technically, I cannot afford the 8 pets I have. If all 8 of them came down with upper respiratory infections, they would all be eating fish antibiotics. I obviously could go into debt for emergency surgeries, but with 8 pets, if all 8 of them decide to get a blockage, or come down with bloat, we're pretty much effed.

The alternative is that all of my pets (all rescues except for one weepy pet store puppy) are dead. All of my dogs were someone else's BAD dogs, now reformed. 2 of my cats are black (which don't adopt well) and one of the black cats is violent. The other one is so vocal I have even contemplated strangling it, and I am a bonafide animal LOVER. The last cat is the kind you can't allow next to your nipples or armpits or the fat on the back of your arm, because that ***** wants to nibble.

Now, I'm not a PETA style bioethics kind of girl. I'm more of a "I'm pretty sure even though you're going to be eating fish antibiotics, it's better than being dead, isn't it kitty?" kind of girl.

I say if the litterboxes are clean, there's food to be had.. it isn't really that shameful. Obviously, you have the right to tell her she can't afford a cat, and that's cool... but the fact is, if only people who can AFFORD animals got them, the shelters would still be full of other people's bad pets, and no one would be there to take them.

She can't afford the basics for the pets she has. She doesn't think ahead at all and can't be relied on to keep a job. It's quite unfortunate and her animals will suffer because my mom isn't around anymore to fix it for her.

saragato

Mary... SO WHAT????? She had a rant about her sister... AND?? What's it to you??

As you helpfully pointed out, it's a public forum and she can pretty much rant as she sees fit. People come here and have a moan about unsupportive husbands, interfering mothers and God knows what else. Who are you to tell them that they can't?

I didn't say she can't, I gave my opinion of how it sounds to me.

You can give your opinion without sounding judgmental. While it may not be intended, reading your posts gives me a very judgmental tone and you seem to be pushing "how it sounds to you" down the OP's throat without much else to go on. It's not coming off as an opinion, you're coming off as rude and that's most likely why you've had others in the thread backlash at you.

In all fairness you can't make a whole lot of assumptions on what little people will give when they're having a problem with someone or what that someone's doing because you're getting one side to the story and a limited side at that. I learned that the hard way when, on another forum, I complained about my boyfriend and had several women tell me he was not only probably cheating but that he didn't do x or y because he was ashamed to have a fat girlfriend and x was why he did this and long story short I ended up with a thread of supposedly well-meaning women crucifying someone they didn't know or yelling at me for things I hadn't even mentioned. It's basically why I don't advocate personal advice asking over the internet but well, people will do what's convenient.

MaryB2

Technically, I cannot afford the 8 pets I have. If all 8 of them came down with upper respiratory infections, they would all be eating fish antibiotics. I obviously could go into debt for emergency surgeries, but with 8 pets, if all 8 of them decide to get a blockage, or come down with bloat, we're pretty much effed.

The alternative is that all of my pets (all rescues except for one weepy pet store puppy) are dead. All of my dogs were someone else's BAD dogs, now reformed. 2 of my cats are black (which don't adopt well) and one of the black cats is violent. The other one is so vocal I have even contemplated strangling it, and I am a bonafide animal LOVER. The last cat is the kind you can't allow next to your nipples or armpits or the fat on the back of your arm, because that ***** wants to nibble.

Now, I'm not a PETA style bioethics kind of girl. I'm more of a "I'm pretty sure even though you're going to be eating fish antibiotics, it's better than being dead, isn't it kitty?" kind of girl.

I say if the litterboxes are clean, there's food to be had.. it isn't really that shameful. Obviously, you have the right to tell her she can't afford a cat, and that's cool... but the fact is, if only people who can AFFORD animals got them, the shelters would still be full of other people's bad pets, and no one would be there to take them.

She can't afford the basics for the pets she has. She doesn't think ahead at all and can't be relied on to keep a job. It's quite unfortunate and her animals will suffer because my mom isn't around anymore to fix it for her.

If she is not feeding them how does that not call for reporting it? Being 1000 miles away does not mean you can't report animal neglect. If she is feeding them and keeping them clean she isn't doing anything wrong. It sounds like she figures out the vet care when necessary.

MaryB2

Mary... SO WHAT????? She had a rant about her sister... AND?? What's it to you??

As you helpfully pointed out, it's a public forum and she can pretty much rant as she sees fit. People come here and have a moan about unsupportive husbands, interfering mothers and God knows what else. Who are you to tell them that they can't?

I didn't say she can't, I gave my opinion of how it sounds to me.

You can give your opinion without sounding judgmental. While it may not be intended, reading your posts gives me a very judgmental tone and you seem to be pushing "how it sounds to you" down the OP's throat without much else to go on. It's not coming off as an opinion, you're coming off as rude and that's most likely why you've had others in the thread backlash at you.

In all fairness you can't make a whole lot of assumptions on what little people will give when they're having a problem with someone or what that someone's doing because you're getting one side to the story and a limited side at that. I learned that the hard way when, on another forum, I complained about my boyfriend and had several women tell me he was not only probably cheating but that he didn't do x or y because he was ashamed to have a fat girlfriend and x was why he did this and long story short I ended up with a thread of supposedly well-meaning women crucifying someone they didn't know or yelling at me for things I hadn't even mentioned. It's basically why I don't advocate personal advice asking over the internet but well, people will do what's convenient.

I was judging the way she bashed her sister. So I am sure it did come off as judgemental. Everything she said about her was bad and it's hard to imagine saying things like that about a sibling. People jumping on me about it does not change the fact that the things she sad were rude and tacky! I think it is one thing to ask for advice but completely different to come on here and tear someone down that is not here to defend themselves.

I also don't ask for personal help here. Even asking about weight loss can get a lot of heated opinions.