Would you be offended...

1246

Replies

  • GTOgirl1969
    GTOgirl1969 Posts: 2,527 Member
    WOW whats with all the man bashing in here.... im seriously offended .... this is rediculous and this goes on in every post.. i think im going to deactivate my account because not every guy is a stereotype...... thanks for ruining my life!

    If a thread on an internet site can ruin your life, Lord help you when a REAL crisis comes along.
  • Jersey_Devil
    Jersey_Devil Posts: 4,142 Member
    get offended? Umm, nope. That was one of my goals. I'd be offended if i worked my *kitten* off in the gym, got in shape and she didn't find me more attractive.
  • Sarahbara76
    Sarahbara76 Posts: 601 Member
    I am 137-139 pounds at 5foot 7inches and my boyfriend fell in love with me at 159 pounds and the only time he wasn't attracted to me was when I was 129 pounds..said my cheekbones were like razors and I looked one missed meal from pushing up daises..That hurt.. A lot. But I gained it back and now I am toned and in good shape and he loves my body. He is proud of me for getting up every morning at 5am to stay in shape too :)
  • Bostonstacey
    Bostonstacey Posts: 23 Member
    No, I wouldn't. I haven't, I should say. My husband (God bless his heart) loves and cares for me no matter what, which is proven by the fact that he married me at my absolute fattest... but I'd honestly be offended if he didn't think I was cuter after losing 50 pounds. It's a lot of work to lose that much weight, it's nice to be told that you're better looking.
  • twinmom14ek
    twinmom14ek Posts: 174 Member
    No, because I reacted the same way to his weight gain and subsequent loss. We love each other regardless of size, but holding all non-shallow traits equal, most people prefer a fitter partner.
  • MaryB2
    MaryB2 Posts: 331 Member
    I wouldn't be offended at all! He's already told me he can't wait till I get back to my normal weight. I feel the same so how can I be mad?
  • harliedyan
    harliedyan Posts: 6 Member
    my exboyfriend once told me early on in our relationship that he wasnt physically attracted to me because of my size. trust and believe we broke up, but 7 months later he came back and we have been best friends ever since. i sometimes have to remind myself that i am doing the weightloss for me and not him, but it will be satisfactory when i do lose the weight and he will realize what he missed out on. let it motivate you. and i truly believe that confidence is the sexiest thing you can wear, and you can find that when you go through a weighloss journey. it is just important to remind yourself who you are doing it for.
  • Desterknee
    Desterknee Posts: 1,056 Member
    I would not be offended at all! That's his way of saying good job!

    I sure as hell hope my bf starts putting out more once I lose my 40lbs.
  • lt3ag4s
    lt3ag4s Posts: 835 Member
    What about the opposite extreme? Would you be offended if you lost weight and were no longer attractive to your partner?

    First and for most the reason to eat and exercise it to be healthier.

    In any relationship, as you change your lifestyle you should be talking about the change with your partner to ensure compatibility. If your partner likes long hair and you get yours cut short you are likely to be less attractive to your partner. There is room for compromise. Likewise, if you prefer short hair, than you are likely not to seek out a partner that likes long hair. The same applies with body shape.
  • ladybug1620
    ladybug1620 Posts: 1,136 Member
    Nope. I enjoy looking at myself more when I'm fitter, why would I be offended if he feels the same?
  • mss_anthropy
    mss_anthropy Posts: 31 Member
    hell yes i would be offended. and that person probably wouldn't have been kept around long enough to see my progress. if you're gonna love me, you gotta love all of me. can't love my boney butt unless you can love my fat *kitten* as well. and everyone keeps saying that men are visual.... yeah, that totally makes it ok for him to care more about your looks than you as a person O_o
  • MaryB2
    MaryB2 Posts: 331 Member
    hell yes i would be offended. and that person probably wouldn't have been kept around long enough to see my progress. if you're gonna love me, you gotta love all of me. can't love my boney butt unless you can love my fat *kitten* as well. and everyone keeps saying that men are visual.... yeah, that totally makes it ok for him to care more about your looks than you as a person O_o

    Nobody said anything about not loving but about being more attracted to. Those really are different things and I know I'll think im more attractive when I'm back to my normal weight. Hell, the pictures on my profile show me how different I looked when I was smaller and the way I look now. How would it be fair to expect him to think I'm as attractive now as I was when i married him?
  • saragato
    saragato Posts: 1,154
    If the attraction's just physical, not really. I imagine I'd look better naked thus sexy time would be more enjoyable for the both of us. If it overtook the relationship then I would be offended because then I would feel like I was lied to from the beginning.

    Logically I can't see why someone would be offended if they were with someone at their largest and had a good relationship then, lost the weight and continued to have a good relationship only now with a little more physical side to it. Because let's face it, if you're here chances are you're not comfortable being big and naked with your significant other but if you lose pounds and you know you look fabulous, you're going to be more willing to throw those clothes off than before.
  • InnerFatGirl
    InnerFatGirl Posts: 2,687 Member
    Maybe a little hurt, but not offended. I know I am more attractive when slimmer. Most people are.
  • Jellyphant
    Jellyphant Posts: 1,400 Member
    It's always been obvious that guys want a sexy gal. When my body gets more defined, the Mr. gets uber touchy touchy versus the norm.
  • earthtoemilyy
    earthtoemilyy Posts: 66
    my boyfriend broke up with me because he wasn't attracted to me anymore. doesn't get worse than that. so hopefully i can either get him back when i'm at my goal orrr get someone better if i'm over it haha.
  • Babymomakell
    Babymomakell Posts: 257 Member
    Sorry I didnt read all the replies, however, I would take it as a compliment... he is noticing the change in you, that means he never lost his affection for you, and seeing the positive changes and attitude turn him on.... that is a great thing!!
  • suzieqcookie
    suzieqcookie Posts: 314 Member
    What if the opposite? What if he lost interest when you got thinner?

    that happened to me.. the first 50 i lost, he got even less interested in sex. :(

    he is my EX husband
  • mscrumbyy
    mscrumbyy Posts: 116
    I probably wouldn't be too bothered. I think the more you love yourself, the more other people will be attracted to you as well so it's only natural that your boyfriend or girlfriend will want more of you when you're happier with yourself. I think the fact that they were with you before you lost weight says they found other things that they like about you- are you honestly going to complain about someone liking you more?
  • AJ_Pete
    AJ_Pete Posts: 863 Member
    Negative. I'm losing weight not only to be healthy, but to feel attractive again! With that feeling comes a new confidence and if my man (let's all pretend I have one) couldn't keep his hands off of me, that's an added bonus!
  • ohmariposa
    ohmariposa Posts: 372 Member
    nope...not at all. I wasn't attracted to me before either lol
  • trinitylyons01
    trinitylyons01 Posts: 126 Member
    What if the opposite? What if he lost interest when you got thinner?

    This is my situation - although, to be fair, my husband still chases me around the house and tries to jump me every chance he gets. However, my husband has always been attracted to bigger women. You are attracted to who and what you are attracted to. Now, do I feel this changes his love for me? Nope! I know he will always love me. Therefore, I actually find it funny when he walks by, touches my butt and sadly says, "Goodbye!" :laugh:
  • focus4fitness
    focus4fitness Posts: 551 Member
    No, healthy is more attractive imo. Not to mention when you're more fit you are more frisky and you show yourself off more so that puts your partner in the mood. I talk about my diet and weight loss with my husband so we are talking about my body on daily basis and talking about my body just happens to turn my man on. :)
  • focus4fitness
    focus4fitness Posts: 551 Member
    What if the opposite? What if he lost interest when you got thinner?

    This is my situation - although, to be fair, my husband still chases me around the house and tries to jump me every chance he gets. However, my husband has always been attracted to bigger women. You are attracted to who and what you are attracted to. Now, do I feel this changes his love for me? Nope! I know he will always love me. Therefore, I actually find it funny when he walks by, touches my butt and sadly says, "Goodbye!" :laugh:

    Your husband is awesome lol
  • TitanGM
    TitanGM Posts: 1,161 Member
    No.
    Because it's natural to be attracted more while you improve as a person, be that physical or personality.
  • cserrano317
    cserrano317 Posts: 2
    Actually I would not be offended as I have a very active sex life and my partner thinks that I am beautiful and very attracted to me just as I am.
  • mommiejohnsonof6
    mommiejohnsonof6 Posts: 208 Member
    I think a distinction needs to be made between loving and caring for your partner (the emotional level of your relationship) and sexual attraction (the physical level of your relationship). A person can love and care for you, emotionally commit to you fully and completely, and dedicate time everyday to making you feel happy and accepted and generally enjoy spending time with you.

    But that doesn't mean that you necessarily push their sexy time buttons. You shouldn't feel put of if, upon dropping a ton of pounds and generally becoming a more fit person, Your partner is more turned on by you. And Likely, You'll feel more turned on because you'll feel more confident in yourself and, lets face it, you'll be in better shape for better sex.

    My two cents (and the only opinion from a guy in this thread, apparently.)
    and it makes a whole lot of sense. I agree:smile:
  • Berto0391
    Berto0391 Posts: 273 Member
    I would be offended of the opposite

    I mean if I'm more thin...leaner...and the same person whats not to love?
  • JustJennie1
    JustJennie1 Posts: 3,749 Member
    No because if the weight that I was striving for now was the weight that I was when we met then it would stand to reason that his desire for me would have gone away once I gained.

    I think that the problem in some relationships when a person starts gaining is that their partner doesn't say anything about it. I've told my husband countless times that if I start to get pudgy to let me know. Last year I was sitting outside and I did something and stuff began to jiggle and he looked at me and said "Honey, you're getting FAT!" Sounds mean but he was right and I didn't get offended because I've told him to tell me. If people were more open and honest in relationships then we wouldn't have those people who gain weight and then complain that their significant other doesn't find them attractive any more. If that's not how you were when you met him, if that's not what turned him on about you then why should it be ok to be that way now? Why should you be offended if he doesn't want to be intimate with you because you no longer turn him on?
  • Romans624
    Romans624 Posts: 822
    When I wasn't doing anything about my weight, and kind of resigned... I thought this would be offensive. Now that I have really gotten a reality check, and am working on my weight, and know exactly how sexy I want to look in the end (versus hiding in the dark under the sheets before)... I can say now absolutely not.

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