Who should pay when dating? men/women/both
Replies
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Who ever does the asking out. That's how I used to run it. Now that I am an old married woman (lol) whoever has the most money on them pays. :bigsmile: Granted it's always my DH. I leave the tip.0
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You ever break up, let me know!! LOL!!0
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I usually pay, because the pimps get pretty pissed when I don't.
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0 -
Going Dutch? Never heard this expression before!
I think if a man skis me out then it's nice for him to pay, though I'd offer.
After that, definitely 50/50.
I don't want to go Germaine Greer on your *kitten* but definitely don't want a man to 'take care' of me...financially anyway...All da women who independent., throw your hands up at meeee! Haha
Mind you, maybe I should let some old fashioned chaps into my life a little more!0 -
I think the man should pay.0
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Just a purely curious topic.
When you are dating someone (not the first date) who do you think should pay? Men 100% of the time, or is it ok to go 50/50?
I have been in both situations and not sure which one I prefer. I have been with a man who NEVER let me pay and overtime I felt bad becuase I wasn't dating him for a 'free ride'. I have also been with a man who paid the first date but after that I offered to share the bill and it became the norm -- or one paid the movie, one paid dinner, etc. This is totally ok for me, but once in awhile I think it would be nice for them to reject me and pay...
I realize men like to 'take care' of women, so does going dutch offend men?
So just curious on thoughts!!
MY RULES :
he asks me somewhere, he should pay (unless it's really exspensive, then I will help)
I ask him somewhere, I SHOULD PAY
if we both want to go somewhere/do something mutually, then going dutch isn't a problem
if he insists on paying ... well, we'll see how it turns out haha
Agree, I dont mind paying at all but if the guy asks me out then he should pay.0 -
Whoever does the asking does the paying.
Can I take you to dinner? Implies I am hosting the evening and I will pay the costs.0 -
on my first date with my boyfriend.. he paid.. not gonna lie, i kinda liked that he did, he was the one who asked me out, picked me up and chose where to go etc, i also thought it was really nice of him to pay while i went to the bathroom at the end of the meal so there was no awkwardness... lol
its been 2 and a half years now and its no longer an issue at all, i pay about half the time... although he still TRIES to pay for me all the time...
i don't think there should be any set rule about it.. it all depends on the situation...0 -
The men! Once again, they are paying for the pleasure of my company. Plus I'm in the south now. I have plenty of my own money but I'd rather let the guy take care of paying. Less headaches for me and he can feel good about providing for me.
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I guess it depends on what you're comfortable with. I'm okay with footing the bill so long as I have the funds and I'm okay with going dutch. If he's adamant he's going to pay or, like one time with my boyfriend, he automatically pays without consulting me, I'm alright with that too. Especially if it's cash, I don't carry a lot of it with me.
Really why should we designate the footer of the bill? Everyone has their own ideas and comfort levels when it concerns money and coming across as polite.0 -
My boyfriend and I have been together a year and a half. We don't have a 50/50, we just somewhat take turns so to speak. Sometimes, I'll pay completely and oher times he will. When we first began dating, he insisted on paying for everything. I'm a working lady and very independent so I like to pay for things too!0
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He pays on dates, but once I'm in a relationship, my independent side comes out and I like to share all responsibilities if I can afford it.0
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Simple deal.
If I invite, I pay.
And any real gentleman will ALWAYS offer to pay.
If you're broke and can't afford to be diamond Jim, then invite her to the park for a picnic or for a walk in the woods.
Live beneath your means, and you will never stress over money.
If she likes you and you like her, just being together is enough.0 -
for an official date I think men. But I am an old fashioned gal. but when in a mutal commited relationship I think things should be equal0
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Well, without researching the archives *dorky computer beeping sounds*, I would imagine it was originally based on the fact that men worked outside the home more; and thus it would be silly to ask or expect the woman to pay if she wasn't working. Just guessing ...
But today it's much different ... (love the rock/paper/scissors idea by the way!) ... however I'm still a traditionalist, but I would never pay if it was making my partner uncomfortable ... I would always offer, but never fight for the check.
Every relationship and situation is different ... relationship building is worth far more than bill anyway ... I've always made a decent income and would have felt odd if I didn't pay, but there were time in my dating days I let the check slide over! ... whatever works for the couple! 0 -
Why? :huh:No fence riding for me. The man pays.
It's been so long since I dated, but if I offered to take someone out for dinner and I chose the restaurant, then I'd pay, and we'd usually share rounds on any pre/post-dinner drinks.
If we met for a drink and decided to go out for a meal, then we'd split the bill.
It's a total nonsense for a woman to expect a man to pay for everything on a date, especially in this day and age when we're supposed to have equality and in some cases a woman may earn far more than a man.
I guess being gay it's more or a level playing field, but I would never have gone on a date with the assumption that everything was going to be paid for!
^^ Agree with all of this! Didn't matter if I was going on a date with a man or a woman, I've always believed that whoever invited pays or we just go dutch.
Now, my girlfriend and I just kinda go with the flow... 'tis the reason why we're inseparable and don't bicker about small things like this lol :bigsmile:0 -
I have been married for 22 years, so I am not in the dating scene. BUT, I know right at first, he paid for our dates, but then we just took turns paying. Lke he would get dinner and i would do the movies. We were both working and going to school, so money was tight for both of us....so why should he have to pay for everything just because he is a male.
Funny thing is, when we go out now, I usually pay. But that is because we use his money to live....like pay the bills and so forth. And my money pays for us to do fun things. In the end, it is still "our money" but I guess I am the one that has the cash!! haha!0 -
Reading most of the posts so far, it appears that in the US it is still mostly the Man that pays. In Europe, especially here in London, UK - many Women earn as much if not more than men so it is common to "go dutch" here or even for the Woman to pay. Both myself and my wife shared most bills during dating, and still do now with joint account.
In Europe its allot more equal and modern (non chauvinistic) to share costs, and happy to do so.
Also we do not have the complication of "tipping" either here - how does that work in the US?0 -
I have been married for 22 years, so I am not in the dating scene. BUT, I know right at first, he paid for our dates, but then we just took turns paying. Lke he would get dinner and i would do the movies. We were both working and going to school, so money was tight for both of us....so why should he have to pay for everything just because he is a male.
Funny thing is, when we go out now, I usually pay. But that is because we use his money to live....like pay the bills and so forth. And my money pays for us to do fun things. In the end, it is still "our money" but I guess I am the one that has the cash!! haha!
You've got it tink, plus your man is crazy smart and yet you own it. Kiss!0 -
In my house it depends on the situation. If it just let's get something to eat, we split. If I am really wanting to eat somewhere specific, I pay or we're not going. I always offer to pay my share, but often if it was his suggestion, he'll offer to pay my share. I would not be comfortable with the man paying all the time.0
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Once I start seriously dating... well, I want the guy to pay! At least at first. I am pretty old fashioned in I want the man to pick me up (or meet me there), open the doors and let me walk through first.... and pay for the meal. For me it isn't about the money. I would be just as ecstatic with a picnic in the park with PB&J's as I would dinner and movie. I am very independent, but I WANT the guy to take the initiative to treat me. For once, I want to relax and not worry about the money or the plan.
That being said, once in a while I want to be "in charge" of the date and plan it and treat him! But, as someone else mentioned, it wouldn't feel like a date to me if we each paid our way. One or the other would need to treat.0 -
Also we do not have the complication of "tipping" either here - how does that work in the US?
Yeah, tipping is a scam. I hate it.0 -
Also we do not have the complication of "tipping" either here - how does that work in the US?
In the US, we tip because restaurants pay a smaller minimum wage than other jobs do. Usually something like $2-3 an hour, which is often less than half the regular minimum wage. Honestly I'm not sure why they are still allowed to do this, or why they are the exception to the minimum wage rule. But that's how it is.0 -
50/50
I've been meeting men lately who think that imma pay for them...I'm sorry but just because I choose to pay my own bill doesnt mean i want to pay yours either lol...and it also varies on how long ya been with the person i spose?0 -
Well, without researching the archives *dorky computer beeping sounds*, I would imagine it was originally based on the fact that men worked outside the home more; and thus it would be silly to ask or expect the woman to pay if she wasn't working. Just guessing ...
But today it's much different ... (love the rock/paper/scissors idea by the way!) ... however I'm still a traditionalist, but I would never pay if it was making my partner uncomfortable ... I would always offer, but never fight for the check.
Every relationship and situation is different ... relationship building is worth far more than bill anyway ... I've always made a decent income and would have felt odd if I didn't pay, but there were time in my dating days I let the check slide over! ... whatever works for the couple!
great attitude, let that be your answer. 0 -
I'm a lesbian too - trapped in a man's body.......:drinker:It's so weird that a lot of women claim they don't like old-fashioned rules, but then they turn around and want the man to pay for everything... which this came about because in the past women were not allowed to own money and were property of their fathers, so the man HAD to pay. In this day and age, I think it's most appropriate to respect women's rights and go dutch, or trade off paying for dates, to create a solid and even footing for the remainder of the relationship.
I guess I will never have to worry about this particular problem though, since I'm a lesbian.
But I still pay when I invite.0 -
Depends on the circumstances but initially I think men should pay.0
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I pay even if it's a bad date. it might be stupid ! but i am a gentleman
YOU, my friend, are awesome!!!!0 -
Men should pay if it's clearly a date and it's known that they're romantically interested, and the relationship is budding. If the relationship is longterm and committed, then it should be 75/25% or something to that extent, unless the woman has a much bigger paycheck. And if longterm, I'd hope there'd be a mature discussion about it, leading to a mutual understanding. As with any relationship, communication is paramount. If it's a friendship, ambiguous or not, it should be separate, unless it's a special occasion.0
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50/500
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