Does your SO CARE how much you weigh?

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Replies

  • Yes, my husband cares. He cares largely for health reasons and my happiness and self-esteem. When I'm at all overweight, I'm not happy at all. Appearance is important to him also though and I think it is to most people - as long as there is a physical attraction. I wasn't overweight when we married and he does not like very skinny women so I won't be aiming for anything unrealistic to please him.

    And, no he absolutely does NOT know what I weigh. I would never, ever tell and I won't let him see me naked until I'm closer to or at goal.
  • PlunderBunneh
    PlunderBunneh Posts: 1,705 Member
    Nope. He cares that I'm happy, and that's about it. He still loved me just as much at my highest weight, although he has mentioned that he really digs the confidence I'm showing as I get down to a healthier weight.
    ETA - He also knows how much I weigh. Before I started the journey, neither of us knew.
  • Renae_Nae
    Renae_Nae Posts: 935 Member
    Yes and no. He didn't care when I went from 139 to 162. He loved me and thought I was beautiful the whole time. Now if I started getting much more past that he would care because of health reasons. (Same with me, I started getting concerned when he put on a bunch of weight, not because of how he looked but I could see his energy level drop).
  • MrsSorenson
    MrsSorenson Posts: 450 Member
    My husband doesn't care about the number at all. We've been together for 14 years, so he's seen me at my smallest, largest, and everywhere in between. He told me I'm still beautiful and if it got to the point where he thought my health was seriously at risk he'd tell me. Granted he doesn't get as excited about a 2 lb loss as I do, but when I've lost enough to notice, he will mention it. :)
  • MzMandi1025
    MzMandi1025 Posts: 78 Member
    My husband claims to not care about the actual number, but I'm pretty sure it bothers him to some extent. I used to be pretty thin, but curvy when we started dating, then I got really thin & he said I was getting too skinny, then over the course of the last 6 years, I got really heavy. He says he's always found me attractive, so I don't think it's about the number on the scale. He actually prefers that I don't weigh in. He tells me that he just wants me to be happy & healthy, something I haven't been in a long time & I'm working towards.
  • brittmar25
    brittmar25 Posts: 71 Member
    My fiance knows my weight. There was a time period when I wouldn't tell him only because I didn't want to know myself. It wasn't until I joined MFP that I was ready to face the number. Admitting my weight to myself was my first step.

    Now, he's reminded of how much I don't weigh. :happy: It's possible I go running through our house doing a happy dance each time I lose a pound.
  • rmsrws
    rmsrws Posts: 639 Member
    Yes, he cares! He care too much! He actually checks my weight with me to make sure I am not losing anymore. He wants me to gain 10 lbs.
  • jmelyan23
    jmelyan23 Posts: 1,648 Member
    My husband does know how much I weigh, only because I take the time to tell him. We've been together for just over 5 years now, and he's seen me at my best and my worst (weight and in general), and still loves me and is attracted to me. So no, I don't think he cares one bit how much I weigh. He just wants me to be happy and feel good about myself. :)
  • mom2scc
    mom2scc Posts: 99 Member
    yep my hubby knows my weight but the number means nothing to him. i have more the problem being around same weight as him. he loved me big and small.
  • Clarisse0304
    Clarisse0304 Posts: 77 Member
    Mine cares..he doesn't ask me how much I weight neither knows my number..but if he sees me getting heavier, he will nicely say something. If I was really an overweight woman I will be miserable next to him. He gets very concerned about our overall health and he's lucky that I am too..
  • janellegel
    janellegel Posts: 13
    she knows and doesn't care. i was big when we met and have put on weight since we have been together but so has she and we are both working on losing the weight but i feel if she were or anyone that i cared about judged me for how much i weigh we would have a big problem. You need to love me for who i am on the inside not what i look like on the out side. Needless to say she makes me feel beautiful even when i get depressed how my weigh :)
  • animatorswearbras
    animatorswearbras Posts: 1,001 Member
    No and yes, we've been together for nearly 10 years I was (9 stone 7) 133 pounds when we started going out and he's seen me at as little as 126 and as much as 166, i'm 144 now aiming for 126 again for our wedding. He's never made comments that I've been too fat always makes me feel attractive but when i asked him at my biggest if he'd noticed that i'd put weight on he said we both have and maybe we should diet, which was fair enough. He's also very encouraging now I'm losing and making comments on how good I look now I'm exercising and it helps motivate me, especialy since I've only lost 4 pounds since starting MFP. Truthfully I don't think my OH would leave me if I was obese because we love each other unconditionally me but I definatley feel he's more attracted to me the slimmer I am even if he wouldn't actually say it or make me feel bad if I was overweight. :)
  • runner289
    runner289 Posts: 4 Member


    That said, we're both pretty gung ho this go around. I even got him to start C25k with me, and he's watching his beer consumption.

    watching his beer consumption....WOW...my husband would drop tons of weight and our wallets would be so full if mine did that :)
  • dirtydmvkid
    dirtydmvkid Posts: 184
    She says she doesn't care... I call bull****. But I'm losing it anyways!
  • tripitena
    tripitena Posts: 554 Member
    He cares in that the added weight caused me increased pain with my joint injuries. He also likes my feeling better about myself now.
  • MaryB2
    MaryB2 Posts: 331 Member
    Yes, he cares. Not as in not loving me or being mean to me kind of way. But as I gained weight I became less active and less happy so it affected us both, I used to love being outdoors doing all kinds of things.
  • Kitzey
    Kitzey Posts: 214 Member
    Nope my husband doesn't care, he never has. When we first met I was on the heavier side and prior to getting married I lost a lot of weight... since then we both have gained weight together. He hasn't joined MFP but he's on board and down 40lbs with me. He's always told me he loves me, and has made me feel special, regardless of my weight.
  • Savemyshannon
    Savemyshannon Posts: 334 Member
    Yes and no. I was always big since the day we started dating, but he really liked my personality (when I lose this weight, I never want to have to hear how 'great my personality is' again!) and so we got serious.

    However, I know I'm not really his 'type'. I know he'd be much happier with my body if I lost all this weight (and then did the Brazilian Butt Lift a few times), but he loves me even if I don't.
  • PlunderBunneh
    PlunderBunneh Posts: 1,705 Member
    Figured I'd reply again as the SO. I do care a bit about my husband's weight, but only because these last twenty pounds have hit him hard. He was diagnosed with high cholesterol, and his back is always bothering him. I'm trying to be as gentle as possible about it, but have mentioned that if he lost a few pounds, he would probably feel better. I cook healthier for the entire family, and pack his lunches with the dinner leftovers, but we still give in and have fast food more often than we should. I try to get him to the gym, but am coming to realize he will always hate cardio, so time to find some weights for the home set.
    I am still incredibly attracted to him, and other than the fact that I think those few extra pounds are making him feel crummy, I don't give a fig what he weighs.
  • kramereh
    kramereh Posts: 612 Member
    Yeah he cares but he's supportive about it. He's very honest with me so if he sees me gaining a little weight he will offer to do workouts together just to get me more motivated. He's extremely supportive and loves to work out with me. But I do the same for him. I love how we motivate each other.. we definitely have a good support system.
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    So more importantly than does your SO KNOW what you weight? Does your SO CARE about that number?

    He's been told many times, but I'd bet he couldn't tell you what it is because he doesn't care. I believe he'd love me no matter what, but I'm also sure he cares what I look like. But a number on the scale? Nope, he doesn't care.
  • pagingdoctork
    pagingdoctork Posts: 40 Member
    Technically, I'm underweight and I always have been, but not enough that it's unhealthy. He always tells me how "beautiful" I am, occasionally how "beautiful and thin," which is a lot stupid, but whatever.

    Occasionally though, he'd tell me that I'd look good thinner, and when I tell him that'd be really unhealthy, he says it would be fine... little comments here and there. I'm focused on getting more toned, lowering my body fat percentage, and creating more lean muscle mass. When I tell him I'm going to start lifting, he always tells me I don't "need to," which I think means he doesn't want me to be stronger than he is (he's 6 feet and 130 pounds, so tiny).

    Now that I'm committed to eating better and working out, he's seeing the changes in my body, and he likes them a lot. Now he tells me that he wants to go to the gym together so he can bulk up ;)
  • akaporn
    akaporn Posts: 231 Member
    She doesn't care about my weight. But, she hates the belly fat. I feel the same way.
  • reshapemariah21
    reshapemariah21 Posts: 184 Member
    He knows exactly what I weigh and he cares. He wants me to be happy and is 100% supportive of my journey here. I tell him my weight every time I weigh. 1) So he can pat me on the back for doing well. 2) So he can remind me not to eat all the cookies if I am doing poorly. :)

    This! :happy:
  • My boyfriend has never asked, nor have I ever told him.
    We got together when I was 75 heavier then I am now and he has never said one negative thing to me about my weight.
    But since I'm not losing weight for him I guess it doesnt really matter anyways. This is all about me and he is very supportive of everything I do. And tells me how proud he is of me every time I hit a new mini goal.
    I read some of the posts and realize I am one lucky girl......
  • lindalee0315
    lindalee0315 Posts: 527 Member
    My husband definitely cares what I weigh. He doesn't know the number, but his first wife weighed 430 lbs. (He paid for her weight loss surgery--she was supposed to lose 30 lbs to show her commitment to the process so the insurance would pay for it, but she couldn't do it, so he ended up paying for it. She lied and told him she did lose the weight, and then presented him with a $25k bill!) Then, he paid for her skin removal, tummy tuck and boob job as part of their divorce. Now, several years later, she's getting very heavy again. I think it scarred him. He's very supportive and tells me I look "hot" all of the time, but he would really care if I got big.
  • JamesterCK
    JamesterCK Posts: 109 Member
    My husband knows, I don't feel bad telling him because he's so supportive and loves me no matter what. It's just a number. I'm definitely more bothered by it than he is. I think it's because my husband weighs less than me right now and he is 6 inches taller than me. That's just not supposed to happen; makes me feel like crap. I'm headed in the right direction though, so soon that won't be true!
  • miadvh
    miadvh Posts: 290 Member
    Well..He's never showed signs of caring. :) I got up to 60 lbs over what I was when we got together, and he never said anything. He knows the number, but doesn't give it any special attention. He's very supportive of me losing weight without, but isn't pushy about it. <3
  • I was obese and huge when my ex and I started dating, and while she was always concerned about my health (family history of heart disease), she never really cared about my size or look. Funny enough, after I started losing weight (and especially after losing 100lbs and looking better than I have ever in my life), she started to get disinterested and eventually found someone new. I always thought it was the opposite: losing weight and looking better would help me keep her, and not chase her away. Strange how the world works sometimes.
  • kitinboots
    kitinboots Posts: 589 Member
    My SO has joked that if I were fat it would be a problem for him, but the amount that my weight fluctuates doesn't bother him at all. I think he's more bothered by my eating habits.