Wedding Costs- Cash Bar or Open Bar?

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  • karenjoy
    karenjoy Posts: 1,840 Member
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    I am English and married to a Canadian, and it was only when planning our Wedding that i learned of the big cultural differences in Weddings, we had a lovely Church Wedding, in a 700 year old church, with all the English traditions, hymns and readings etc, we had our photographs in the grounds of the local manor house and the Castle in the village in which we live, and then we went on to our 'Wedding Breakfast' the 'reception'

    We provided welcome drinks for everyone, of champagne cocktails and then several bottles of good quality wine for the meal and soft drinks and two bottles of champagne per table for toasts and that was it, if people wanted other drinks later, then they paid, we provided a four course meal, it cost us £40 a head for the meal and then extra for all the other things, the gifts we gave everyone and we paid for all the wedding parties clothes etc etc, all in all our Wedding cost us in excess of £10,000 and we did a lot ourselves, and paid for the whole thing. I do not feel guilty about having a pay bar for the evening reception, which was a separate function, we also laid on food for the evening guests as well, at further cost, I think that if people think that anything about our Wedding was tacky then they are wrong, it was an AWESOME Wedding, and although it cost a lot of money, we had the best day ever...

    My Daughter got married in the Winter, on a Friday, she had an all inclusive deal and did her whole Wedding with photography and dress and reception for less than £3000 and it was a FABULOUS Wedding and they are not in debt as a result.

    Do what you can afford and don't worry what anyone else says, its ONE day, don't spend more than you can afford
  • _Wits_
    _Wits_ Posts: 1,286 Member
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    I am English and married to a Canadian, and it was only when planning our Wedding that i learned of the big cultural differences in Weddings, we had a lovely Church Wedding, in a 700 year old church, with all the English traditions, hymns and readings etc, we had our photographs in the grounds of the local manor house and the Castle in the village in which we live, and then we went on to our 'Wedding Breakfast' the 'reception'

    We provided welcome drinks for everyone, of champagne cocktails and then several bottles of good quality wine for the meal and soft drinks and two bottles of champagne per table for toasts and that was it, if people wanted other drinks later, then they paid, we provided a four course meal, it cost us £40 a head for the meal and then extra for all the other things, the gifts we gave everyone and we paid for all the wedding parties clothes etc etc, all in all our Wedding cost us in excess of £10,000 and we did a lot ourselves, and paid for the whole thing. I do not feel guilty about having a pay bar for the evening reception, which was a separate function, we also laid on food for the evening guests as well, at further cost, I think that if people think that anything about our Wedding was tacky then they are wrong, it was an AWESOME Wedding, and although it cost a lot of money, we had the best day ever...

    My Daughter got married in the Winter, on a Friday, she had an all inclusive deal and did her whole Wedding with photography and dress and reception for less than £3000 and it was a FABULOUS Wedding and they are not in debt as a result.

    Do what you can afford and don't worry what anyone else says, its ONE day, don't spend more than you can afford

    This.

    We had an open bar limit...once we reached that dollar sign, people bought their own. We provided all other drinks for free. No one really had an issue or cared. I think it depends where you live.. I personally always bring cash to a wedding and do not expect anyone to give me free booze.. Do what you want and can afford and who cares what others think.
  • Drop_it_Like_Its_Hawt
    Drop_it_Like_Its_Hawt Posts: 226 Member
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    We had a bunch of friends in 12-step programs coming (and neither of us drinks much anyway), so we skipped the booze altogether - but the reception area was attached to a local bar, so if anyone really couldn't go the three hours of talking/dancing without a drink, they just walked next door and came back. No one complained, since we threw a big part of the budget into a really nice dinner for everyone.
  • sweetgeek793
    sweetgeek793 Posts: 22
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    It's funny how different countries gave different ways of doing things. Here in the UK it is rare to go to a wedding where the drinks are all free, at most weddings you get one post ceremony drink, wine with the meal (usually half a bottle per person) and a glass of bubbly for the toasts. But then it is always a normal bar where you have to pay for your own drinks.

    Weddings cost enough without paying for all your guests drinks!!


    We like to drink in the US!



    lol I live in Scotland and boy do we enjoy a drink at weddings! Hubby and I married last year and open bar is pretty much unheard of in the UK we offered our guests post ceremony drinks , and a drink of choice for the meal and another for the toasts after that it was cash bar, Scottish weddings are wild enough without offering free alcohol all night :D
  • BrieLP
    BrieLP Posts: 300 Member
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    Well we played around with this for a while.... We are on a tight budget too and was going to do the reception at my fiance's families "ranch" and we were going to do a ticket kind of thing where we bought the alcohol, people paid us so much for a ticket to drink and hopefully that would manage the drunkeness.
    Well we had spoken with our wedding planner and she suggested us doing the reception at the bar she owns.... and this what we are going to do... It's a full cash bar (everyone buys their own drinks and they tip the bartender.) if at the end of the night the bartender receives less than the required 15% grat we pay the difference if the bartender receives more than woo hoo go you! I guess it really depends on where you have the reception. Let me know if this doesn't make sense or you need more details about it.

    Also the way we cut costs: no dj, minimum flower arrangements, minimum attendents (we have 1 maid of honor, 1 best man and 2 ring bearers (my fiances sons), my mother in law is making our cake, and my mother in law made our save the dates, and RSVP/accommodation cards for our invitations), and my mother in law did a lot of DIY for the favors i.e. water bottle and candy lables etc.

    if you have pinterests you can find a lot of ideas!!!! GOOD LUCK!
  • JAllen32
    JAllen32 Posts: 991 Member
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    I say open bar, because I think it would be tacky to invite them and then expect them to foot the bill. But seriously, opinions on this are pretty all over the place. What we ended up doing is buying all the liqour, beer, and wine ourselves. Our venue had a tiki bar set up, and our caterers had a bartender. So we supplied all the booze, but we bought what we wanted and got to keep the leftovers! It was great! We took it all back to our hotel for an after hours party! It was awesome! But we were lucky to have a venue that allowed that. Open bar on beer and wine is good too though, better than cash bar.
  • TNTwedell
    TNTwedell Posts: 277 Member
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    I get really annoyed when I go to a wedding and it's not an open bar. I don't care if it's not top shelf, just be open. I spend big bucks on your gift (as did everyone else) and cleared aside my little personal time to come to your day (as did everyone else). The least you can do is give me some free booze.

    Bet you get even more fun with a few cocktails in you, huh?
  • kympow
    kympow Posts: 145 Member
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    If I was paying for it... I would do a cash bar...
    We had an open bar for our wedding 17 years ago...and that was the most expensive on our list :) You could do an hour open bar (before dinner) and then switch it to a cash bar... Our wedding was $32,000.. It was a huge wedding- the reception was the most expensive for us.

    Congrats on your upcoming wedding :)
  • mamagooskie
    mamagooskie Posts: 2,964 Member
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    when I got married 10 years ago, I supplied the wine at dinner, but had a cash bar other than that.
  • paulaviki
    paulaviki Posts: 678 Member
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    It's funny how different countries gave different ways of doing things. Here in the UK it is rare to go to a wedding where the drinks are all free, at most weddings you get one post ceremony drink, wine with the meal (usually half a bottle per person) and a glass of bubbly for the toasts. But then it is always a normal bar where you have to pay for your own drinks.

    Weddings cost enough without paying for all your guests drinks!!


    We like to drink in the US!

    I meant to reply to this before - but yeah so do us Brits!!:drinker:
  • Erin0164
    Erin0164 Posts: 64 Member
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    Congratulations on your engagement! Remember you are inviting people to celebrate your wedding - you are throwing a party! Pay for the beer and wine. You could have one signature cocktail available for the first hour of the party. Don't use drink tickets - icky tacky.

    Good luck!
  • DeeVanderbles
    DeeVanderbles Posts: 589 Member
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    Congratulations on your engagement!

    I get married in 10 days!! It's so close.

    We are having an open bar ONLY because my mom is adamant about having one and is paying for it. My fiance and I don't really want any alcohol at our wedding but that's simply because there are too many alcoholics in my family and I'd rather not contribute to that. Plus neither of us are big drinkers. So I say it really depends on your situation.

    At the very least I would talk to the bar and see if you can purchase chips at a discounted price to give two to your guests and then anything else they have to pay for. So if you buy 240 chips and drinks are $1.50 each, maybe you pay $300 instead of $360 or something. But keep in mind those chips will likely only be good for certain types of drinks, where we are having our reception the chips are the same for soda/soft drinks, beer and wine but you need a different one for a mixed drink.

    As for cutting costs, look for family friends or friends of friends who are in the business or side job you're looking for. My MOH's uncle does tents and chairs and is cutting me a great deal. You can also forgo flowers all together or just have a bouquet for yourself and not the rest of your girls, or just get the girls a single flower that matches your bouquet. Use pocket squares instead of boutonnieres.

    Maybe you have some family friends that are good cooks, can cook for that amount of people and would cut you a great deal!

    Get a one tier fancy cake (or 3-tier cake with two fake layers) for the cake cutting but have a sheet cake in the back that guests are served from.

    Feel free to add me or message me! I'm sure there are a ton of other options that I can't think of off the top of my head.
  • Derpina7
    Derpina7 Posts: 552 Member
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    Weddings with booze that is free will be remembered well even if the guests are drunk enough to forget.

    ::bigsmile:
  • ElviraCross
    ElviraCross Posts: 331 Member
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    Elope!
  • hdsqrl
    hdsqrl Posts: 420 Member
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    Apologies if this has already been suggested - but if you're going to be buying in bulk from a liquor store, check around to see if some have a buy-back option. For our wedding, we went in and bought a ton of beer/wine/liquor, and anything not opened, the store bought back from us. Perfect solution! :)
  • TheGsMama
    TheGsMama Posts: 80 Member
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    run off and elope and spend the money you would have spent on a big wedding on a house or a nice vaction just for the two of you.

    Congrats!

    ^^^OMG this! Seriously, do it. We wish we would have taken the cash that my father in law offered us to elope. Dammit.
  • MissFit0101
    MissFit0101 Posts: 2,382
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    At my wedding reception we supplied 2 bottles of wine per table (10 people per table) and of course champagne for the champagne toast, then had a cash bar. Just couldn't afford to have an open bar, as much as we would have liked to. I know it sucks going to a wedding with a cash bar, but we paid for the entire wedding out of our own pockets as well. I was only 23, so yeah, it wasn't easy. Congrats by the way!
  • RealWomenLovePitbulls
    RealWomenLovePitbulls Posts: 729 Member
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    we had beer and wine bar and then it was a cash bar for liquor - the place we got married at had the beer and wine for $2 a person, and u only pay for those who are over 21 so that should knock out some of ur number anyway.

    if u have a hobby lobby near you, keep an eye out there, they do half off bridal every so often and u can get things like your guest book adn pen, candle holders, etc.

    orientaltrading.com also has some good deals.

    print ur own invites, put ur favors together yourself, if u don't mind artificial flowers (there are some that look pretty real) you can even make your own boquets and such (flowers are expensive) my mom did mine - which we also got at hobby lobby when they did half off floral, they have all the stuff there that u need to do it.

    what area do u live in?
  • TheGsMama
    TheGsMama Posts: 80 Member
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    Our wedding was at a historic site on the top of a mountain and we had to bring in our own liquor so we did wine & and couple of kegs of good beer, the caterer provided the bartender and we were able to take back what was unopened. It worked great.
  • fjrandol
    fjrandol Posts: 437 Member
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    Our wedding we had iced tea, lemonade, cucumber water, coffee, tea, and sparkling cider for toasting - please please please make sure you have options for those who don't imbibe. I'm not a big soda drinker, and often that and water are the only choices.

    I've never been to a wedding that required me to pay for my own drinks. You're the one throwing the party, you should be the one footing the bill. If you can't afford an open bar, pare it down to something within your budget.

    My sister is getting married next month, and for the drinkers they're serving the classic: red, white, and beer. Makes for some good times! :drinker:

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