Wedding Costs- Cash Bar or Open Bar?

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  • MelHoneyRocks
    MelHoneyRocks Posts: 223
    I think since you are on a budget that going with the wine & beer is very generous.
    Congrats!!
  • gogojodee
    gogojodee Posts: 1,243 Member
    paying for your own in early 20's? hell, your guests are lucky you didn't send them a postcard with a pic from the JOP asking for "we just got married" presents.

    Do what make the most financial sense.

    Haha, this, seriously. Ask away.
  • gogojodee
    gogojodee Posts: 1,243 Member
    IMO, I think a cash bar is tacky. I have never been to a wedding where I had to pay for drinks but that is how it is done where I live. If cash bars a typically an option and that is how it is done where you are then I would say it is fine because your guests wouldn't find it unheard of. Another option could be to just offer beer and wine or maybe rent a venue that allows you to bring in your alcohol to keep your cost lower.

    I agree. My aunt had a cash bar when I was in HS, no one paid, haha. The reception sucked and her new guy was the DJ. Blah. Even though she divorced her 1st - he is still my Uncle Cal. lol
  • TylerJ76
    TylerJ76 Posts: 4,375 Member
    What is with everyone's thoughts of entitlement that they shouldn't have to pay for booze, but the bride and groom should?

    *shakes head*
  • ValerieMartini2Olives
    ValerieMartini2Olives Posts: 3,024 Member
    I get really annoyed when I go to a wedding and it's not an open bar. I don't care if it's not top shelf, just be open. I spend big bucks on your gift (as did everyone else) and cleared aside my little personal time to come to your day (as did everyone else). The least you can do is give me some free booze.

    Thats cheap of you... You are going to a Wedding to celebrate the beginning of someone's life together. Its not about you. This is THEIR day, not yours. And really what you spend on a gift is kind of irrelevant if the Wedding bankrupts the couple.

    So you set aside a little of your personal time? They thought enough of you to include you on the guest list. They want you there to celebrate their love. If you want to cheap out, or don't think enough of the couple getting married that its some kind of burden, Don't Go.

    Your response is just so tacky. Not everyone has money to burn especially after putting together a Wedding.

    My parents have been wedding DJ's for well over 30 years. I have been to literally hundreds of wedding receptions. When a couple has already put $40,000 into a wedding, you're telling me they can't spare a couple hundred to have an open bar?
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    I've been to 10 weddings in the past 2 years. I can tell you a couple of things:
    Weddings without booze need to give people a heads up
    Weddings with booze that you pay for will be talked about in a bad way
    Weddings with booze that is free will be remembered well even if the guests are drunk enough to forget.

    This. :flowerforyou:
  • TylerJ76
    TylerJ76 Posts: 4,375 Member
    I've been to 10 weddings in the past 2 years. I can tell you a couple of things:
    Weddings without booze need to give people a heads up
    Weddings with booze that you pay for will be talked about in a bad way
    Weddings with booze that is free will be remembered well even if the guests are drunk enough to forget.

    This. :flowerforyou:

    Really, so you would talk bad about a reception that made you pay for your OWN booze??
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    I've been to 10 weddings in the past 2 years. I can tell you a couple of things:
    Weddings without booze need to give people a heads up
    Weddings with booze that you pay for will be talked about in a bad way
    Weddings with booze that is free will be remembered well even if the guests are drunk enough to forget.

    This. :flowerforyou:

    Really, so you would talk bad about a reception that made you pay for your OWN booze??

    Yup it's pretty tacky to me.
  • TylerJ76
    TylerJ76 Posts: 4,375 Member
    I've been to 10 weddings in the past 2 years. I can tell you a couple of things:
    Weddings without booze need to give people a heads up
    Weddings with booze that you pay for will be talked about in a bad way
    Weddings with booze that is free will be remembered well even if the guests are drunk enough to forget.

    This. :flowerforyou:

    Really, so you would talk bad about a reception that made you pay for your OWN booze??

    Yup it's pretty tacky to me.

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
    I've never been to a wedding that required me to pay for my own drinks. You're the one throwing the party, you should be the one footing the bill. If you can't afford an open bar, pare it down to something within your budget.

    Agreed.
    Either do an open bar, or a bar with beer/wine options plus a few simple liquors (rail-type liquors) and a few mixers. My suggestions: whiskey, gin, vodka, rum, tequila, and sweet and dry vermouth, maybe scotch if you feel like it, plus a few different kinds of pop, tonic, soda water, sweet and sour. Just have one brand of each liquor. That way you can make a ton of different mixed drinks for cheaper.
  • Lovestoscrapbook
    Lovestoscrapbook Posts: 295 Member
    My husband and I paid for our own wedding and did it on a budget as well. We ordered 2 kegs of beer and had unlimited soda. Mixed drinks were a cash bar and once the beer ran out, they could order from the bar (or they could order if they didn't like our selection). Remember the purpose of the day is to celebrate the love for both of you and share in your happiness. Whatever you choose will be the right choice - but it will be better if you don't have the stress of unneeded debt hanging over your head.
  • KaidaKantri
    KaidaKantri Posts: 401
    I got engaged this past December. Our Wedding day is May 31st 2014. Possibly put off your wedding for a couple years to save up, would help. I see so many people that get too stressed over a wedding. I'm happy I'm having 2 and a half years to plan it! (1 year 10 months now, but we've already got a LOT figured out!)
  • KaidaKantri
    KaidaKantri Posts: 401
    I got engaged this past December. Our Wedding day is May 31st 2014. Possibly put off your wedding for a couple years to save up, would help. I see so many people that get too stressed over a wedding. I'm happy I'm having 2 and a half years to plan it! (1 year 10 months now, but we've already got a LOT figured out!)

    We are having an open bar though. .:)
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    I got engaged this past December. Our Wedding day is May 31st 2014. Possibly put off your wedding for a couple years to save up, would help. I see so many people that get too stressed over a wedding. I'm happy I'm having 2 and a half years to plan it! (1 year 10 months now, but we've already got a LOT figured out!)

    We are having an open bar though. .:)

    :drinker:
  • EndlessSacrifice
    EndlessSacrifice Posts: 325
    I would go with unlimited beer and wine, everything else you pay for.
  • amazon75
    amazon75 Posts: 165
    How about beer and wine and a signature cocktail, maybe in your wedding color.
  • megleo818
    megleo818 Posts: 595 Member
    Sorry I didn't read any answers posted, because there are pages of them, but when I got married we had wine on the tables (we bought reasonably-priced wine we liked at BevMo and paid corkage -- still cheaper than paying our reception venue their wine prices). Both red and white. The wait staff replaced the bottles as they were emptied. We also served champagne for a toast. Anything other than that was available for guests to buy at the bar. We ended up with left-over wine, which we happily drank over the first few months of our new marriage -- worked nicely.

    Editing to say that we didn't put a pay bar in the reception room. The actual sit-down bar that's part of the hotel was right across the patio from the rooms where we were -- folks could comfortably hang out and eat and drink their wine (or sodas, which we also supplied) in our reception space, or if they really wanted a cosmo or something, they could go across to the bar and get one.

    It should be said that we made this decision both because it was less expensive than serving unlimited drinks, and also because we didn't want anyone getting sloppy drunk at our reception. It's good to keep in mind that some people don't know how to hold back when the alcohol is free. Hey, we've all been there, haven't we?? LOL

    Congrats on your upcoming wedding and good luck!
  • Sarah_thefatmom
    Sarah_thefatmom Posts: 30
    We paid for our wedding ourselves and were on a VERY tight budget! We chose a cash bar and I have no regrets about it!

    - I should add that our Reception location did not allow us to bring any of our own drinks in (everything had to be purchased by their bar), If we were allowed we probably would have added a keg and wine bottles for each table.
  • dietanderson
    dietanderson Posts: 18
    If Im invited then I vote for Open Bar. If not, then let the *kitten* pay!
  • norabeth
    norabeth Posts: 176 Member
    My husband and I got married a year ago this Sunday. We did a destination wedding g in Maui and ha a reception when we came home. We paid for our weddingnourselfs and spent less than $15,000 total. We were engaged for 14 months.
    At our reception we had champagne for toasting, beer, margaritas and mai tai's. We only had about 55 people total. Kept it small and rock in. I would think about what your family drinks the most. My family are beer drinkers first then comes tequila. My husband wanted mai tai's thinking since our party was luau themed people would mainly drink them. Nearly 1year later I still have 6 bottles or rum and 4 bottles of mai tai mix.

    My best advice would be make a budget spreadsheet. Nerdy I know but extremely helpful. Splurge where it counts like photos and the honeymoon. Save on the dress. Avoid charging anything if possible.

    Also bridal shows are a great way to find caterors, cake person, photographers ect.
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,329 Member
    How about beer and wine and a signature cocktail, maybe in your wedding color.

    i like this idea. it's classy but still frugal without it being obvious.
  • micahnelson
    micahnelson Posts: 92 Member
    Liquor Buffet, buy a dozen or so bottles of liquor, juices, and sodas. Have a drink menu.
  • susanstar88
    susanstar88 Posts: 14 Member
    I've been an event planner for years & years... most anything is appropriate (nearly) but I'd suggest serving cocktails for 1-hour -- then, go with unlimited beer or if you can afford the wine -- that is totally acceptable. Everything else you pay for and if you want to be special, have a wine/champagne toast. If your wedding is family, they will understand, if they don't, they don't love ya too much or certainly don't love ya enough! PLEASE do not think of drink tickets (double tacky to that thought). Remember, this is your wedding to enjoy and the people you invite will be delighted to be there to celebrate your love with you & be at your celebration!

    Be happy & be loved.. wishing you rainbows & smiles. We just celebrated our 20th anniversary .... an Alaska love cruise!
  • victoria4321
    victoria4321 Posts: 1,719 Member
    If I went to a wedding with a cash bar I'd probably leave unless it was close family or a best friend.
  • noketch
    noketch Posts: 11 Member
    A cash bar is generally in bad taste. You can just serve beer and wine and no hard liquor at all. People understand that liquor is expensive, and should be happy with beer and wine. If they can't get through a few hours without mixed drinks, then they might have bigger problems than what to drink at a reception. :-)

    It is great that you guys are trying to be reasonable with your budget. I've seen people go into serious debt paying for wedding. Best wishes to you both!
  • victoria4321
    victoria4321 Posts: 1,719 Member
    If they can't get through a few hours without mixed drinks, then they might have bigger problems than what to drink at a reception. :-)

    Weddings are generally pretty boring without a good party. Whats a good party without the booze??
  • Sapporo
    Sapporo Posts: 693 Member
    For the booze provide wine with dinner and the rest can be cash bar. You are providing your guests with a meal. Wine goes with food. The rest is for them to get trashed dancing later and you do not need to pay for it if you cannot afford it. If any of your guests think this is tacky then they should look into AA programs if it really bothers them that much. I went with open bar and it was $1100 with a guest list of about 100 adults, so not too bad but you can't predict how much people are going to drink, better to be safe and order so much wine and champagne within your budget.

    Cut wedding costs: When ordering your cake, get a tier cake made for a large party, lie and say a sweet 16 or a bat mitzvah or something. As soon as you say wedding the cake prices triples.
    DJ = waste of money. Most halls can provide a sound system, plug an ipod or computer into it with a playlist.
    For flowers, check grocery stores, some have florist sections now with better deals than actual florists.
    Ultimate cheap but nice wedding: my sister had an 11am ceremony followed by a dry luncheon in the church basement. The ladies club made all the food and decorated. It was a beautiful wedding.
  • anacsitham5
    anacsitham5 Posts: 810 Member
    My daughters wedding was on 07/21/12 - approximately 150 people. Where we live usually the grooms parents pay for the drinks at the reception. They are not from around here and didn't like that as they said "We are good baptists and don't drink". (Grooms mom was drunk within 2 hours of the start of the reception...) We ended up buying all the liquor, mixers, beer, pop and water. It was open bar. Within two hours they had gone through 4 bottles of vodka and 15 cases of beer. We made 3-4 extra liquor store runs that night. Should I mention it was a 12 hour reception? ( We rented the local church hall.) The only liquor we had was vodka, jim bean and captain morgan. We had boxed wine (it worked). We also made the margarita buckets which were a huge success! We went through 8 cases of water??!!

    All in all, it cost more than I planned but I would never have invited guests and had them pay for their drinks. If you do make them pay for their drinks, you better list BYOB on the wedding invites or you will have some not so happy wedding guests when they find out. When I go to a wedding I usually don't take more than $10-$20 with me. There's no need to carry cash.

    My sister in law got married at the justice of the peace and had a small get together with the immediate family afterwards. My niece couldn't afford a reception so they got married where they planned to honeymoon and had a picnic at home as an informal reception. It was casual and cheaper. A friend of ours had a dry wedding (no booze). The reception lasted about an hour. My best friends brother got married, the brides family served veggie trays and it was a cash bar. It didn't go well with the guests and yes, people still talk about the crappy reception.
  • deepfuture
    deepfuture Posts: 35 Member
    Cash bar , open bar is no valued for the cost of it by people .. Congrats and have a great day
  • lecarter
    lecarter Posts: 15
    congrats! Just go with beer and wine and skip the hard stuff. I am getting married in 9 days and that is what we are doing! ...way cheaper and it is still classy :) we are jazzing it up a bit by having peaches as an optional add-in to the wine...an old Italian tradition that makes wine a little more fun and summery

    Congrats!!!

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