Wedding Costs- Cash Bar or Open Bar?

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  • BrieLP
    BrieLP Posts: 300 Member
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    Cut costs by cutting *things* and planning. Don't cut costs by charging your guests. That isn't cutting costs. It's redistributing costs.


    so what about if the wedding is a destination wedding? is the bride and groom suppose to pay for their guests airfair and accommodations too? I have no problem making my family and friends pay for their drinks, i'm not going to be responsible for stupid idiots on my day.
  • MsMuniz
    MsMuniz Posts: 399 Member
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    I would say to just provide beer and wine, don't even need to have a cash bar, mixed drinks aren't necessary.

    I agree, just provide beer and wine and that's it.
  • wcaldwelld
    wcaldwelld Posts: 101 Member
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    Its a hard question to answer for sure but if you look at the overall cost and budget is limited i would maybe suggest 2 drink tickets, i have seen this done in many weddings, i have also seen many where its beer free and everything else you pay for.

    That said if you decide to pay for a open bar you will pay for let me know where the reception is ...???

    lol

    good luck
  • Runs4Wine
    Runs4Wine Posts: 416 Member
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    I didn't read the entire thread, but I've seen it all. At the end of the day it's your wedding and you should do whatever you can afford and what suits you as a couple. If you don't drink then don't host the bar. If your friend/family will take advantage of it - then don't host the bar.

    Other ideas:
    Sometimes you can get different "packages" with your reception venue
    Have a friend play "bartender" with alcohol you bring in

    As for my wedding we had unlimited beer/wine

    I enjoy weddings where at least the first hour or two (up to dinner) is open for at least beer/wine - while bride/groom are doing pictures and guests are twiddling their thumbs. However I bring cash just in case.
  • pants77
    pants77 Posts: 185 Member
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    My advice: skimp on everything else and do open bar.

    Unless your guests are predominantly Amish and/or Mormon, they will appreciate open bar more than anything else. And people can cope with mediocre food and even bad music if they're enjoying the open bar.

    You probably don't have to skimp very much - open bar is not that expensive. Most people spend more on cake and flowers, which is totally ridiculous. Spend $100 on Costco sheet cakes, spend $100 on fake flowers, and buy your guests an open bar.

    We did this for our wedding and got great reviews, though we do wish we had gotten a DJ instead of just setting up the Ipod. Our playlist got hijacked midway through the evening and after that point there were no slow songs.
  • Allison714
    Allison714 Posts: 77 Member
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    Open bar all the way.....I have a lot of drinker friends/family. We even opted to upgrade the bar, and skimp on other stuff. Check out venues that let you bring your own stuff to try to cut some costs. Sometimes you can even ask the venue to throw in extra stuff as well. We got them to put in Ketel One vodka over their top vodka at no extra charge. It's worth it to ask...and remember that you can always haggle with the places too!
  • JustJennie1
    JustJennie1 Posts: 3,843 Member
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    Cut costs by cutting *things* and planning. Don't cut costs by charging your guests. That isn't cutting costs. It's redistributing costs.


    so what about if the wedding is a destination wedding? is the bride and groom suppose to pay for their guests airfair and accommodations too? I have no problem making my family and friends pay for their drinks, i'm not going to be responsible for stupid idiots on my day.

    I personally think that "Destination Weddings" should be banned. It's ludicrous to put that kind of monetary burden on guests. When my husband and I got married we did it in Key West. We were on a learn to sail trip with his ex business partner and his wife. The only people we told was my cousin and his wife. We were by no means inviting them but they decided they wanted to come any way and they paid for their plane tickets, lodging etc. People close to you would feel obligated to book the trip to see you get married regardless if they could afford it and build resentment over it because they felt "forced" to go. Your equating an open bar to a destination wedding is ridiculous. An open bar is a far cry from a "Destination Wedding".

    The majority of the people who have posted here have said open bar. In all honesty I've never been to a cash bar wedding. Like someone else said if money is an issue then skimp elsewhere and do an open bar. Sure people will talk about the ceremony but it'll be the reception that guests will remember the most.
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
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    It depends on where
    Your priorities are.

    We're having an open bar, but I'm sure I won't need extravagant flowers.
    There are always little ways to cut corners. Make a list of priorities.
  • saustin201
    saustin201 Posts: 270 Member
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    My hubby and I got married 12 years ago. We were also on a budget and cut some substantial money by getting married in November which is the month with the least number of marriage licenses issued. Because florists, caterers, bakeries are not doing much wedding business in that month we received huge discounts because they wanted our business. We received a free reception room at a country club, 20% off cake and flowers and wine/beer for the bar. We had a cash bar and our guests received the discount. We also went on a honeymoon and received discounts because we were out of season.

    I wanted to get married in October, but it was too expensive. We wouldn't have received any discounts.
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
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    Cut costs by cutting *things* and planning. Don't cut costs by charging your guests. That isn't cutting costs. It's redistributing costs.


    so what about if the wedding is a destination wedding? is the bride and groom suppose to pay for their guests airfair and accommodations too? I have no problem making my family and friends pay for their drinks, i'm not going to be responsible for stupid idiots on my day.
    Are you really calling guests "stupid idiots"?
    Why not have a destination wedding and invite nobody with that attitude.
  • vacherin
    vacherin Posts: 192
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    First of all, congratulations! I am writing from the UK where a cash bar is not uncommon, but to be honest I have always resented it when faced with it. YES, the wedding costs the bride and groom a lot of money, but it's also very expensive for the guests; most of the weddings I have been to have involved cost of travel to the venue, sometimes staying overnight if it's far from home, clothes, gift, plus stag/hen night costs if applicable - to have free drinks (even just beer and wine, not necessarily everything behind the bar) would have been a nice gesture.

    Plus, unless you know lots of other guests, a wedding is not THAT enjoyable as a guest. You are invariably stuck next to someone you don't know, having to have the awkward, "So, how do you know X and Y then?" conversation, plus you have paid a lot for the privilege as well. To pay for your own drinks on top of that would seem like an insult.

    If cost is an issue, as others have suggested, I would either revise the guest list/venue/catering or have beer and wine only (just in case there are any piss-takers who would order double shots of spirits all night, just because they could).

    Hope all these different opinions haven't confused you further!

    Good luck - and have a great day!
  • selig0730
    selig0730 Posts: 509 Member
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    going to the wedding it has to be open bar, but i understand the cost part so maybe beer and wine unlimited and the rest they got to pay.
  • VelociMama
    VelociMama Posts: 3,119 Member
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    We had a wine and beer bar only. No liquor. That saved us a lot of money, and we only budgeted enough for 2 drinks per person. We also handed out champagne for the toast. The total drink bill came to about $500 for 80 people (including bartender's $200 fee), so not bad, and a lot of people ended up not drinking at all so we had leftover wine. If they wanted more than 2 drinks or liquor, they paid for that themselves, but hardly anyone did that.

    I'm not a fan of full cash bars at weddings. Have at least 1-2 drinks per person available if you can afford it. Any more than that, and they can pay.

    Honestly, we cut a LOT of money out in the flower, cake, dress, and decor budget. We wanted to spend more on food and entertainment for the guests than anything else, and that worked out really well. Everyone had a great time, and we didn't break the bank. If you need to make cuts, cut out the excess or expensive decorations and go with cheaper more crafty stuff. Making sure your guests are well fed and entertained is just good manners. You can do that even on a shoestring budget.
  • vacherin
    vacherin Posts: 192
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    BTW, am I the only person who doesn't know what a toonie bar is?
  • cobracars
    cobracars Posts: 949 Member
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    Destination Weddings are a crock.

    I thought marriage was the destination.

    Anything else is tacky "look at me, its my special day, I'm unique just like every other snowflake" kind of thing.
  • butterfli7o
    butterfli7o Posts: 1,319 Member
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    Congrats!!

    If you have to choose, I go for beer/wine. Your guests will thank you.

    Nowadays, a cash bar is frowned upon and a drink tickets are a NO NO.

    Suggestion from someone who will be married a year next month...skip the expensive floral centerpeices and go for something cheap. We had a beach theme, and did fish bowls with beach sand inside (free from beach) seashells and a white candle in the middle. The shells and candles were from the dollar store.
  • Ilysandrew11
    Ilysandrew11 Posts: 133 Member
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    An open bar is costly and if you have friends like mine, they will suck you dry. My suggestion, have beer and wine and if anyone wants to PURCHASE the hard liquor let it come out of their pockets. You could also try checking out BEVMO they do have wedding packages and I believe they deliver the booze to you all you need is a bartender. That way you can keep in your budget what you want to spend and once your out, your out. Congrats I hope this helps!!!
  • RenfieldX
    RenfieldX Posts: 87 Member
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    BTW, am I the only person who doesn't know what a toonie bar is?

    Heh....toonie refers to the Canadian $2 coin.

    OP - I'd suggest trimming your other costs if necessary and going with the open bar. Just wine and beer would be fine too I guess, but definitely not a cash bar.


    Congrats by the way :D
  • MaryJane_8810002
    MaryJane_8810002 Posts: 2,082 Member
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    With my family we had an open bar at a funeral. I do not really care for alcohol ( the taste:sick: ) so I totally understand the cash bar. With my family (father's side) you don't want a wedding with too much free booze because fights break out.
  • danielled731
    danielled731 Posts: 26 Member
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    IMO, I think a cash bar is tacky. I have never been to a wedding where I had to pay for drinks but that is how it is done where I live. If cash bars a typically an option and that is how it is done where you are then I would say it is fine because your guests wouldn't find it unheard of. Another option could be to just offer beer and wine or maybe rent a venue that allows you to bring in your alcohol to keep your cost lower.

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