Wedding Costs- Cash Bar or Open Bar?
Replies
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First wedding, cash bar.
When you're older and have more money, free bar!0 -
I'm curious about everyone who's for the cash bar. Why would you even have a wedding reception if you can't afford it? Why not a small little get together at your home instead? Invite close family and friends and you'll all have a good time. I don't see the point in inviting so many people that you barely see on a day to day basis.
If you have the money to burn, then sure throw a big party and invite everyone and their friends. If not, keep it small.0 -
It will definitely vary greatly by moth geography and social circle.
We had an open bar for the cocktail hour, champagne toast at the start of dinner, and non-alcoholic beverages all night (normally the bar would charge for soda, juice, ect). I'm surprised at another poster saying that they've never been to a cash bar wedding in MA, because that's where we are and I've been to very few open bar weddings (and most of those were out of state). We have weird liquor laws here that can make open bar somewhat expensive (and bringing in your own liquor isn't possible at venues with their own liquor licenses). It would have nearly doubled the per person cost to provide open bar for the whole reception. And when you have a wedding for 200 people (big families on both sides, it was inevitable), it just wasn't in the budget.0 -
No bar at all for any wedding I am paying for. : ) Not necessary in my opinion But then i am a non drinker . I have been to may weddings without a bar at all.0
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wowwwww i cant believe all the responses!! thank you everyone for taking the time to write you replies...
it seems like this is my conclusion from all the posts:
cash bars--> tacky
wine+beer-->winner
thanks
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I spent about $3000 on my wedding about 8 years ago. We have about 60 guests, it was the hottest day of the summer (which is very hot in Australia). This is what we did.
Had it at my home, spruced up the deck area and put up a shade sail. Decorated with balloons and lots of tulle. I asked the caterer at work to do the food (which was top-notch), which was basically finger-food. I had a friend whose sister worked at a vineyard, and bought a couple of cases of good wine from her. I also bought beer and juice and soft drink. A friend was willing to be barman. We had a wonderful croquenbosche cake from the local bakery. As it was Valentine's day all flowers were very expensive, but I was able to negotiate a little and got a lot for what I paid. Glasses and other things we needed we bought on sale. We have beautiful desserts sourced at wholesale prices.
Oh and one of my school friends is a vicar and she married us for the price of a good bottle of bubbly. We also had a organist friend who played, and my son sang. My dress was a cocktail dress bought on sale. A friend who loves photography, did the photos for nothing, and I made them up by scrapbooking. I made the pew decorations myself. Invitations were bought at a sale and handwritten by me.
Be prepared, that if you are seriously into it being a cost-saving affair, that you will have top put in a lot of work yourself. Good advice, already stated is decide what is important to you and cut everything else to the bone.
It also strikes me that if 95% of your guests are family, maybe some of them can chip in for the alcohol.
Lots of people said that our wedding was the best they had been to, so although it was stinking hot (40 deg C), it was a blast.
GG0 -
My cousin had a half open bar, half cash bar. I don't think it's tacky at all to have a cash bar. It depends on your budget and if people don't like the idea then they're not going for the right reasons. That said, luckily my fiancé and I don't have a budget and we're having an open bar which consists of 3 bars throughout the venue. For us, it wasn't much worth a second thought. We've been together for almost 9 years and we love throwing parties and this will be the best party we've ever thrown =] Do what works for you
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I would go with unlimited beer and wine and have them pay for anything else.
Congrats by the way!0 -
"Suck it up" and have an open bar.0
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Hi Everyone!!
I have been looking on the web for some answers and I get answers all over the map, but the answers are really old. I would like some opinions. My fiance and I just got engaged a week ago so we are now looking at a budget. I am 22 he is 25 and we are renting, and paying for the wedding ourselves so we don't have a lot of money... We are trying to cut costs and I'm curious on your thoughts about booze...should we:
a) suck it up and have open bar
b) offer unlimited beer and wine, everything else you pay for
c) give 2 drink tickets then they buy their own
d) have a toonie bar
or other!!
also, any brides have other ways to cut costs? We are looking at around 100-120 guests (95% family members)
Thanks
B, also dollar dance, some people think its tacky but its a good way to have fun and make up some of the cost0 -
BTW, am I the only person who doesn't know what a toonie bar is?
A twonie is a 2 dollar Canadian coin. A twonie bar charges 2 dollars per drink.0 -
To the OP, anyone planning a wedding, married... or comments about "tacky"
http://offbeatbride.com/2008/07/tacky0 -
I get really annoyed when I go to a wedding and it's not an open bar. I don't care if it's not top shelf, just be open. I spend big bucks on your gift (as did everyone else) and cleared aside my little personal time to come to your day (as did everyone else). The least you can do is give me some free booze.
Thats cheap of you... You are going to a Wedding to celebrate the beginning of someone's life together. Its not about you. This is THEIR day, not yours. And really what you spend on a gift is kind of irrelevant if the Wedding bankrupts the couple.
So you set aside a little of your personal time? They thought enough of you to include you on the guest list. They want you there to celebrate their love. If you want to cheap out, or don't think enough of the couple getting married that its some kind of burden, Don't Go.
Your response is just so tacky. Not everyone has money to burn especially after putting together a Wedding.
My parents have been wedding DJ's for well over 30 years. I have been to literally hundreds of wedding receptions. When a couple has already put $40,000 into a wedding, you're telling me they can't spare a couple hundred to have an open bar?
Good for your parents! Happy for them... it isn't relavent to the question. We're also not talking about a couple putting $40,000 into a wedding. Maybe you didn't read the OP's post...We are talking about a young couple who don't have a lot to spend. And a couple of hundred to have an open bar? Bahahahahaha... the cost of liquor in Canada is regulated and would run this couple several thousand dollars which she has already stated... they don't have.0 -
I've been having the same trouble. Cut out guests if at all possible. It's your day. Not theirs. Look to parks and beaches for venues. They are inexpensive and can hold more guests than inside. put your wedding money in a seperate place, that way you don't see money in your accound and think like my fiancee. "150 bucks after bills? I'm getting sushi and new pants" Good luck!0
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Hehe When I was in your boat we held our wedding in the afternoon so there was NO bar. However, I've had some experiences in the other ways as well. I've been a bartender and a wedding attendee. Things to be aware of:
Most clubs charge you just for having the bar open. Even if the attendees are buying the drinks. Make sure that's in your budget.
Drunk guests are very annoying. My sister was an excellent example at my Dad's second wedding. *forehead smack* thank God I drove.
That said, check your budget. If you can afford to offer two drink tickets each, then I say offer beer and wine only. Skip the mix drinks as they truly offer another level of cost. Beer and wine is plenty. If that doesn't fit your budget, then make it a cash bar and don't worry about it. If people are coming to your reception to get drunk, then they don't need to be there. (IOW, that's not likely.)0 -
I've been to many weddings (5 just this past year). One had no alcohol at all and I would say that was the worst wedding I went to. Not because they didn't provide alcohol, but there was no option at all. Not even a cash bar. Not to mention there was a lot of standing around and waiting and all the guests were uncomfortable and bored. They also never came around to apologize for the wait or even greet their guests and thank them for coming.
I've also been to weddings where they bought their own beer, wine, and liquor and the place provided the bartender. I thought that went perfectly fine. I also went to another wedding reception where it was held in a lodge. They were able to hire a caterer (they went with a fajita style buffet and the food was fun and yummy too). They also just had those large buckets filled with ice and beer and mike's hard lemonade. As well as champagne at the table for the toast. Everyone actually had a great time at that wedding. They had a great dj and, although I'm sure it was on a budget, they still managed to keep their guests happy.
I also went to a couple open bar weddings where it was provided by the venue. I'm sure it cost more than the other weddings I went to (in fact I know one of them was extremely expensive since it was my brother's wedding). So, I say, just make sure you can afford it before you decide to do an open bar just because you are worried what people might think.
I think you can definitely find a way around it and it won't look cheap. Beer and wine is just fine for most guests. At one wedding I went to, the couple only provided half a glass of champagne at the tables and it looked really cheap. It was located in a restaurant and a lot of people went downstairs to the bar and hung out and ordered drinks. Another wedding did have alcohol like beer, wine and then some liquor choices. But then they also created their own signature drink. Everyone was walking around with blue drinks that weren't half bad!0 -
cut costs some other way...you really need to have an open bar.0
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I'm curious about everyone who's for the cash bar. Why would you even have a wedding reception if you can't afford it? Why not a small little get together at your home instead? Invite close family and friends and you'll all have a good time. I don't see the point in inviting so many people that you barely see on a day to day basis.
If you have the money to burn, then sure throw a big party and invite everyone and their friends. If not, keep it small.
I've been to a few weddings where wine on the table during dinner was provided (and replaced if needed) but other drinks were extra. This makes sense to me as wine goes with dinner. People who need hard booze to have a good time after dinner are either young, never grew up in a bad immature way, or are an alcoholic. People with money do not necessarily have an open bar at their wedding so it isn't about money. An open bar is just not needed.0 -
Best Wishes! I say offering beer and wine is sufficient on a budget.
Agreed! And maybe a glass of champagne each for the toast. No hard liquor makes it harder for people to get embarrassingly smashed anyway.0 -
I'm curious about everyone who's for the cash bar. Why would you even have a wedding reception if you can't afford it? Why not a small little get together at your home instead? Invite close family and friends and you'll all have a good time. I don't see the point in inviting so many people that you barely see on a day to day basis.
If you have the money to burn, then sure throw a big party and invite everyone and their friends. If not, keep it small.
I've been to a few weddings where wine on the table during dinner was provided (and replaced if needed) but other drinks were extra. This makes sense to me as wine goes with dinner. People who need hard booze to have a good time after dinner are either young, never grew up in a bad immature way, or are an alcoholic. People with money do not necessarily have an open bar at their wedding so it isn't about money. An open bar is just not needed.
I agree with the wine at the table or a cocktail hour being a good idea. My thought is you must have a cash bar, then you may as well not even have a bar at all.
It's not so much that people need hard booze at a party, but most people would like some kind of drink option at any party. To expect people to come to a party that you invited them too and have them pay for anything is just plain rude.0 -
Save your money and save him the headache. Dont get married. Just kiddin!
From my experience people remember 3 things about weddings:
1)The food
2) The music (maybe the guy from The Hangover)
3) Free Beer and wine0 -
I'm curious about everyone who's for the cash bar. Why would you even have a wedding reception if you can't afford it? Why not a small little get together at your home instead? Invite close family and friends and you'll all have a good time. I don't see the point in inviting so many people that you barely see on a day to day basis.
If you have the money to burn, then sure throw a big party and invite everyone and their friends. If not, keep it small.
I've been to a few weddings where wine on the table during dinner was provided (and replaced if needed) but other drinks were extra. This makes sense to me as wine goes with dinner. People who need hard booze to have a good time after dinner are either young, never grew up in a bad immature way, or are an alcoholic. People with money do not necessarily have an open bar at their wedding so it isn't about money. An open bar is just not needed.
I agree with the wine at the table or a cocktail hour being a good idea. My thought is you must have a cash bar, then you may as well not even have a bar at all.
It's not so much that people need hard booze at a party, but most people would like some kind of drink option at any party. To expect people to come to a party that you invited them too and have them pay for anything is just plain rude.
& going to a party or wedding reception and you being too cheap to pay for your own drinks is just plain rude. The couple has already spent too much money to make sure that you have a good time. You people that have this sense of entitlement that the couple should buy your booze, after paying for your dinner need to grow up.0 -
You could also subsidize drinks... So where something might usually be $7, you subsidize it to $4.0
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we are having beer and soda, anything else you pay for. this is my second wedding and thats what we did at the 1st. worked well0
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I'm curious about everyone who's for the cash bar. Why would you even have a wedding reception if you can't afford it? Why not a small little get together at your home instead? Invite close family and friends and you'll all have a good time. I don't see the point in inviting so many people that you barely see on a day to day basis.
If you have the money to burn, then sure throw a big party and invite everyone and their friends. If not, keep it small.
I've been to a few weddings where wine on the table during dinner was provided (and replaced if needed) but other drinks were extra. This makes sense to me as wine goes with dinner. People who need hard booze to have a good time after dinner are either young, never grew up in a bad immature way, or are an alcoholic. People with money do not necessarily have an open bar at their wedding so it isn't about money. An open bar is just not needed.
I agree with the wine at the table or a cocktail hour being a good idea. My thought is you must have a cash bar, then you may as well not even have a bar at all.
It's not so much that people need hard booze at a party, but most people would like some kind of drink option at any party. To expect people to come to a party that you invited them too and have them pay for anything is just plain rude.
& going to a party or wedding reception and you being too cheap to pay for your own drinks is just plain rude. The couple has already spent too much money to make sure that you have a good time. You people that have this sense of entitlement that the couple should buy your booze, after paying for your dinner need to grow up.
Its not a sense of entitlement. I would never invite someone to a place then ask them to pay for something. I think if someone can't afford something they shouldn't invite people to an event then ask them to cough up the cash. People are already spending money on wedding gifts I'm sure. They also have to spend time and money to travel to the event and to get an outfit for the wedding. Some people have to pay for baby sitters if they have kids. Its simply about making an event comfortable for a person who took time to share a part of your life that you find so important.0 -
I'm curious about everyone who's for the cash bar. Why would you even have a wedding reception if you can't afford it? Why not a small little get together at your home instead? Invite close family and friends and you'll all have a good time. I don't see the point in inviting so many people that you barely see on a day to day basis.
If you have the money to burn, then sure throw a big party and invite everyone and their friends. If not, keep it small.
I've been to a few weddings where wine on the table during dinner was provided (and replaced if needed) but other drinks were extra. This makes sense to me as wine goes with dinner. People who need hard booze to have a good time after dinner are either young, never grew up in a bad immature way, or are an alcoholic. People with money do not necessarily have an open bar at their wedding so it isn't about money. An open bar is just not needed.
I agree with the wine at the table or a cocktail hour being a good idea. My thought is you must have a cash bar, then you may as well not even have a bar at all.
It's not so much that people need hard booze at a party, but most people would like some kind of drink option at any party. To expect people to come to a party that you invited them too and have them pay for anything is just plain rude.
Open bars are most common here, people are a bit put off when they show up at the wedding and it is a cash bar without knowing before hand because they won't have cash on them and will usually have to use a non-bank ATM which charges extra fees.
I can't see this as rude as I would rather have the option to buy a mixed drink during the partying time than no option at all but I do get what you are saying about the whole if they showed up at your house party you don't charge (except for keg parties, people seem to chip in on those with no reservations). I have heard other people comment about wishing they were warned before hand so they would have cash on them.
I think it comes down to location (more acceptable in some areas to have cash bars).0 -
The only alcohol at our actual wedding reception was wine with dinner and a champagne toast. Nobody complained. We bought it ahead of time in bulk from a local discount place because our food vendor could only serve, not sell. So if we ran out that was just going to be the end of it. We didn't run out and it worked just fine.
We also served soda, water, coffee, unsweetened and sweet iced tea.0 -
My wife and I did something similar. We bought all the wine for the meal on sale well in advance. We bought the champagne for the toasts as well. The bar was cash, and the only issue was our venue didn't have enough bar staff to keep up, so people complained that the service was slow. And they were right.0
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Destination Weddings are a crock.
I thought marriage was the destination.
Anything else is tacky "look at me, its my special day, I'm unique just like every other snowflake" kind of thing.
Destination weddings are awesome when done right. For us, since 90+% of both families were from out of state anyway, a destination was a no brainer. If everyone is traveling anyway, why not travel someplace nice? Our guests loved it. For many of them, it was the first time they'd seen each all together again in over a decade.0 -
Having just gotten married myself (and forked over some cash) - here is my advice....
All the people on here saying they never heard any complaints are probably telling the truth... who would have the balls to go up to a bride on her wedding day and say "I can't believe you are asking me to pay for my drinks!" If you have been to a dry or cash bar wedding as a guest, you know you heard those grumblings.
The one rule my husband and I had when planning our day was - how would we want it to be if we were a guest? We spent a lot of time and energy making it the day we wanted, but also the day that everyone there would know how important they were to us. It paid off. I got thank you cards from countless guests thanking me for the privilege of being part of my day, which I consider the biggest compliment ever!
I say open bar, but you can limit some things to help curb cost. It isn't an entitlement thing, it isn't an alcoholic thing (although if you want people out on the dance floor, most people will need a couple in them). It is something that allows your guests options and makes them feel like you really do want them to have a good time. Remember most guests will end up giving you a very generous gift (usually something that costs more than a cocktail or two), so you may come out ahead in the long run.
Is a champagne toast really something you want? My husband and I both dislike champagne so we didn't want it in our glass and gave the guests their choice of what they wanted (hint vodka and ginger ale looks a lot like champagne in a flute). Guests could happily order champagne, but we saved hundreds taking the automatic champagne off the menu. Select a few signature drinks... come up with 2 or 3 drinks and name them to fit the occasion (make sure one of them is vodka - it is the most universally accepted liquor) and offer those. Any caterer/venue should be happy to come up with these for you, then just make a sign and have it up at the bar. This will limit the need having tons of liquor choices.
Remember you can serve a lot of people from a $20 bottle of vodka where as you only get a few glasses from a $8 bottle of wine...
Depending on what state you live in you may also be able to return unopened liquor - we had a party in New Jersey and bought tons of stuff, on Monday they came out and picked up the leftovers and refunded is (we got about 60% back).
Other expenses - glass rentals - they are SOOO much more expensive than you would think. We decided to use our wedding design and get glasses made and have that act as one of the favors. It certainly saved us money in the end. There are many options you can go with but we used www.discountmugs.com and were pretty happy.
My last piece of advice - limit your guest list - you may feel mean, but do you really need to invite that long lost cousin that you haven't seen or spoken to since you were 5 or your fiance's co-workers mother? Believe me you will feel pressured from all sides to invite the world, but you are holding the purse strings, which also means you control the guest list. Here is some food for thought... if you invite 100 people to your wedding and spend just 5 minutes speaking with each of them that will be over 8 hours of talking - which obviously after photos, food, dancing, the ceremony etc there will not be 8 hours for that. Don't feel pressured to have 300 people there.
Good luck - wedding planning is hard and expensive, but there are always ways to do things where every one can have a good time and you don't go broke. Things like personalized messages to guests cost nothing but time, but will mean the world to them. May I also recommend etsy.com to find nice and usually cheaper alternatives to mainstream wedding suppliers.0
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