Wedding Costs- Cash Bar or Open Bar?

Kat120285

Having just gotten married myself (and forked over some cash) - here is my advice....

All the people on here saying they never heard any complaints are probably telling the truth... who would have the balls to go up to a bride on her wedding day and say "I can't believe you are asking me to pay for my drinks!" If you have been to a dry or cash bar wedding as a guest, you know you heard those grumblings.

The one rule my husband and I had when planning our day was - how would we want it to be if we were a guest? We spent a lot of time and energy making it the day we wanted, but also the day that everyone there would know how important they were to us. It paid off. I got thank you cards from countless guests thanking me for the privilege of being part of my day, which I consider the biggest compliment ever!

I say open bar, but you can limit some things to help curb cost. It isn't an entitlement thing, it isn't an alcoholic thing (although if you want people out on the dance floor, most people will need a couple in them). It is something that allows your guests options and makes them feel like you really do want them to have a good time. Remember most guests will end up giving you a very generous gift (usually something that costs more than a cocktail or two), so you may come out ahead in the long run.

Is a champagne toast really something you want? My husband and I both dislike champagne so we didn't want it in our glass and gave the guests their choice of what they wanted (hint vodka and ginger ale looks a lot like champagne in a flute). Guests could happily order champagne, but we saved hundreds taking the automatic champagne off the menu. Select a few signature drinks... come up with 2 or 3 drinks and name them to fit the occasion (make sure one of them is vodka - it is the most universally accepted liquor) and offer those. Any caterer/venue should be happy to come up with these for you, then just make a sign and have it up at the bar. This will limit the need having tons of liquor choices.

Remember you can serve a lot of people from a $20 bottle of vodka where as you only get a few glasses from a $8 bottle of wine...

Depending on what state you live in you may also be able to return unopened liquor - we had a party in New Jersey and bought tons of stuff, on Monday they came out and picked up the leftovers and refunded is (we got about 60% back).

Other expenses - glass rentals - they are SOOO much more expensive than you would think. We decided to use our wedding design and get glasses made and have that act as one of the favors. It certainly saved us money in the end. There are many options you can go with but we used www.discountmugs.com and were pretty happy.

My last piece of advice - limit your guest list - you may feel mean, but do you really need to invite that long lost cousin that you haven't seen or spoken to since you were 5 or your fiance's co-workers mother? Believe me you will feel pressured from all sides to invite the world, but you are holding the purse strings, which also means you control the guest list. Here is some food for thought... if you invite 100 people to your wedding and spend just 5 minutes speaking with each of them that will be over 8 hours of talking - which obviously after photos, food, dancing, the ceremony etc there will not be 8 hours for that. Don't feel pressured to have 300 people there.

Good luck - wedding planning is hard and expensive, but there are always ways to do things where every one can have a good time and you don't go broke. Things like personalized messages to guests cost nothing but time, but will mean the world to them. May I also recommend etsy.com to find nice and usually cheaper alternatives to mainstream wedding suppliers.

I love so many things about this post :drinker:

victoria4321

Open bars are most common here, people are a bit put off when they show up at the wedding and it is a cash bar without knowing before hand because they won't have cash on them and will usually have to use a non-bank ATM which charges extra fees.
I can't see this as rude as I would rather have the option to buy a mixed drink during the partying time than no option at all but I do get what you are saying about the whole if they showed up at your house party you don't charge (except for keg parties, people seem to chip in on those with no reservations). I have heard other people comment about wishing they were warned before hand so they would have cash on them.
I think it comes down to location (more acceptable in some areas to have cash bars).

I see what you mean about the location too. I'm in nyc and people don't even like going to birthday parties without some type of bottle service. I've never been to a wedding reception without an open bar here.

Kat120285

Open bars are most common here, people are a bit put off when they show up at the wedding and it is a cash bar without knowing before hand because they won't have cash on them and will usually have to use a non-bank ATM which charges extra fees.
I can't see this as rude as I would rather have the option to buy a mixed drink during the partying time than no option at all but I do get what you are saying about the whole if they showed up at your house party you don't charge (except for keg parties, people seem to chip in on those with no reservations). I have heard other people comment about wishing they were warned before hand so they would have cash on them.
I think it comes down to location (more acceptable in some areas to have cash bars).

I see what you mean about the location too. I'm in nyc and people don't even like going to birthday parties without some type of bottle service. I've never been to a wedding reception without an open bar here.

I've only been to one cash bar, my cousins wedding. They had a half open bar at the beginning and then switched to cash for budget reasons. I can understand both sides but definitely think if you're going to have cash bar then you should let guests know because I know I myself don't bring cash to a wedding. I do agree with location, but also thinking if you were a guest. To which I think it also depends on the type of guests. I know a friend who is getting married a month before me and nor she, her fiancé or their families drink much if at all so they are having a dry wedding. My family likes their drinks, fiancés family sort of but my fiancé and I certainly wanted drinks at our wedding because we enjoy them and so we're having an open bar .... actually 3, but even if we didn't I know our wedding would be one that's talked about. From the location of our wedding, to all the details and how different it will be, I think even if we didn't have an open bar our wedding would be talked about in a positive way

kristelpoole

I've been to so many weddings and I photograph weddings, too. The only cash bar wedding I have ever been to was about 7 years ago. They had one keg that was free (it ran out in 30 min) and those cheap glass jugs of crappy wine (those ran out before the buffet opened up) and after that it was cash only. I guarantee you the couple (really nice people) never heard anyone complain about it, but you'd better believe it was talked about at the reception and here I am bringing it up now. It's just in bad taste. I mean, you're not going to ask them to pay $20 before they can line up for the buffet line, are you?

Drink tickets are only for tacky office holiday parties and the like.

I've been to mostly open bar weddings and I've also been to beer and wine only weddings. The quality of the selection has been different at each wedding, but they were ALL wonderful. No one cares if you don't have liquor if you offer beer and wine (and maybe one specialty drink). They do care if they are caught off guard and have to leave the bar to find a wallet. And they WILL talk about it...just not to the bride and groom.

And this is coming from someone who will be footing the bill for most of her wedding. I'd rather go to the courthouse or skip the cake or reduce the head count than have a cash bar at my wedding.

Best of luck, OP! I think you have come to a great decision. Cheers to you! :drinker: