I was thinking about working out today BUT.....

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  • hdsqrl
    hdsqrl Posts: 420 Member
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    Don't forget - if you sexercise from the top position, that counts as pushups. Allows for 3 more cookie crumbles, if you ask me. :drinker:
  • DontStopB_Leakin
    DontStopB_Leakin Posts: 3,863 Member
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    I think I peed my pants a little just reading this. How many calories did I burn? You know you have to eat ALL your exercise calories back you guys! Starvation mode is no joke!
  • spammyanna
    spammyanna Posts: 871 Member
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    I pound all my food into bits before I eat it, because it burns more calories, and then I can consume more food dust.

    But I don't want to bulk up, so I don't lift weights, and I only do crunches because I want a flat stomach.

    I do about 1000 crunches a day, but I still have a pot belly. Help!!!!!

    WHEN I TYPE IN ALL CAPS, YOU KNOW I'M SERIOUS!
  • frhenderson
    frhenderson Posts: 32 Member
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    I hate to tell you this, but I can reference 12 studies that have established that you should wear one brown sock and one blue one. Not only do I have scientific evidence, but my best friend's cousin said that was the only thing that broke her out of a plateau that had last two days. She had tried EVERYTHING.
  • mamagooskie
    mamagooskie Posts: 2,964 Member
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    I think I peed my pants a little just reading this. How many calories did I burn? You know you have to eat ALL your exercise calories back you guys! Starvation mode is no joke!

    you can easily lose a lb or 2 with a good long pee.
  • kmm7309
    kmm7309 Posts: 802 Member
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    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    Gotta love MFP! :huh:
  • kmm7309
    kmm7309 Posts: 802 Member
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    I hate to tell you this, but I can reference 12 studies that have established that you should wear one brown sock and one blue one. Not only do I have scientific evidence, but my best friend's cousin said that was the only thing that broke her out of a plateau that had last two days. She had tried EVERYTHING.

    Bwhahahaaha! I love when the studies get busted out!!!
  • Shannota
    Shannota Posts: 312 Member
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    I think I will just have the surgery to get the thigh gap instead. Everyone needs a thigh gap right?

    Plus, I will eat nothing but fast food, but only 700 calories a day (since I am sweeping my floors)

    I will still lose weight right?

    hey a calorie is a calorie....and who gives a *kitten* about macros.....they are overated anyway so yes you will lose weight....oh and by the way if you fold laundry or have sex you could potentially lose enough weight to not have your thighs snipped thin!!!

    Hot damn! I'm going to start folding my laundry and doing the horizontal mambo everyday!

    Then eat 35 sticks of butter..because as long as I don't eat carbs, I won't get fat.
    That reminds me...where is our friend Kodak? Haven't seen anything lately
  • mamagooskie
    mamagooskie Posts: 2,964 Member
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    I pound all my food into bits before I eat it, because it burns more calories, and then I can consume more food dust.

    But I don't want to bulk up, so I don't lift weights, and I only do crunches because I want a flat stomach.

    I do about 1000 crunches a day, but I still have a pot belly. Help!!!!!

    WHEN I TYPE IN ALL CAPS, YOU KNOW I'M SERIOUS!

    FOOD DUST.....IT'S EFFIN BRILLIANT......why the hell didn't I think of that???

    Oh yes the bulking up, don't touch any weights over 5 lbs or you will become like a man and probably pack on like 20 lbs of muscle in like a week or two.....it discusting. You need to do at least 2000 crunches to achieve noticable results.....so suck it up and get moving.
  • DontStopB_Leakin
    DontStopB_Leakin Posts: 3,863 Member
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    I think I peed my pants a little just reading this. How many calories did I burn? You know you have to eat ALL your exercise calories back you guys! Starvation mode is no joke!

    you can easily lose a lb or 2 with a good long pee.
    No, no, no. See, you to fast for 30 days, drinking nothing but water and cayenne pepper. But you have to hold your pee in for the entire time. Then, on day 31, you pee and you'll lose sixty pounds at once. Any other way of dieting is just dumb.
  • mamagooskie
    mamagooskie Posts: 2,964 Member
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    I hate to tell you this, but I can reference 12 studies that have established that you should wear one brown sock and one blue one. Not only do I have scientific evidence, but my best friend's cousin said that was the only thing that broke her out of a plateau that had last two days. She had tried EVERYTHING.

    Nope I'm calling BS on your studies because my friends, cousins, husbands mothers aunt said something different.
  • Katalyst77
    Katalyst77 Posts: 79
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    This thread made my day btw

    ha! me too! It took me a minute to catch on, but lol!
  • frhenderson
    frhenderson Posts: 32 Member
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    FOOD DUST.....IT'S EFFIN BRILLIANT......why the hell didn't I think of that???

    Oh yes the bulking up, don't touch any weights over 5 lbs or you will become like a man and probably pack on like 20 lbs of muscle in like a week or two.....it discusting. You need to do at least 2000 crunches to achieve noticable results.....so suck it up and get moving.
    [/quote]

    I don't think anyone has pointed out that these two things are linked. If your food isn't smashed into dust you are in danger of bulking up because food can be heavy. Just don't try smashing it yourself if you have to use your biceps. Here is a website where you can buy pre-smashed food.
  • jackieatx
    jackieatx Posts: 578 Member
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    Okay...first off. You should be at about 1200 calories a day. GOOD filling, CLEAN calories.

    Look into scissors, laying on your back and slowing spreading your legs to either side. Y Like a "Y" Your legs should be in a "V" formation.

    Go walking about 3 times a week, eat clean, drink water, and do those scissors. About 5 reps of 20 scissors to start. And then increase by week. You can do them while laying in bed.
    mmm... scissoring.

    Lolzzz
  • mamagooskie
    mamagooskie Posts: 2,964 Member
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    I think I peed my pants a little just reading this. How many calories did I burn? You know you have to eat ALL your exercise calories back you guys! Starvation mode is no joke!

    you can easily lose a lb or 2 with a good long pee.
    No, no, no. See, you to fast for 30 days, drinking nothing but water and cayenne pepper. But you have to hold your pee in for the entire time. Then, on day 31, you pee and you'll lose sixty pounds at once. Any other way of dieting is just dumb.

    Yes.....I forgot about the cayenne water diet. lol
  • frhenderson
    frhenderson Posts: 32 Member
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    I hate to tell you this, but I can reference 12 studies that have established that you should wear one brown sock and one blue one. Not only do I have scientific evidence, but my best friend's cousin said that was the only thing that broke her out of a plateau that had last two days. She had tried EVERYTHING.

    Nope I'm calling BS on your studies because my friends, cousins, husbands mothers aunt said something different.

    I think that post was uncalled for. I feel like you are calling my best friend AND her cousin liars. There is no need to make this personal.
  • mamagooskie
    mamagooskie Posts: 2,964 Member
    Options
    FOOD DUST.....IT'S EFFIN BRILLIANT......why the hell didn't I think of that???

    Oh yes the bulking up, don't touch any weights over 5 lbs or you will become like a man and probably pack on like 20 lbs of muscle in like a week or two.....it discusting. You need to do at least 2000 crunches to achieve noticable results.....so suck it up and get moving.

    I don't think anyone has pointed out that these two things are linked. If your food isn't smashed into dust you are in danger of bulking up because food can be heavy. Just don't try smashing it yourself if you have to use your biceps. Here is a website where you can buy pre-smashed food.
    [/quote]

    I am so glad you chimed in about the pre-smashed food website, I totally could of ended up with body builder biceps and I would have just wanted to die!!!
  • spammyanna
    spammyanna Posts: 871 Member
    Options
    I hate to tell you this, but I can reference 12 studies that have established that you should wear one brown sock and one blue one. Not only do I have scientific evidence, but my best friend's cousin said that was the only thing that broke her out of a plateau that had last two days. She had tried EVERYTHING.

    Nope I'm calling BS on your studies because my friends, cousins, husbands mothers aunt said something different.

    I think that post was uncalled for. I feel like you are calling my best friend AND her cousin liars. There is no need to make this personal.

    Awwww, did someone get their feelings hurt? Wah, suck it up and deal. These people were just trying to give you good solid advice and you couldn't take it.

    Where are your sources!!??!!

    Seriously.

    And yes, food dust.
  • Jenn09870
    Jenn09870 Posts: 66 Member
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    Best post ever!

    Can't wait to try these,
    but you forgot that if you eat anything after dark
    you won't 'loose' any weight.
    You will totally gain 10lbs over the weekend.

    :laugh:
  • LynnMichelleB
    LynnMichelleB Posts: 15 Member
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    This is one of the many reasons I am glad I am on here, y'all are cracking me up!

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