Divorced Women keeping the "ex" last name

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  • veganbaum
    veganbaum Posts: 1,865 Member
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    Avoiding situations like this is just another good reason for a woman to keep her "maiden" name.
  • DMZ_1
    DMZ_1 Posts: 2,889 Member
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    If I were a woman and got divorced, I'd want to get rid of that name pretty fast so as to not be reminded of the ex.
  • pittjenn
    pittjenn Posts: 247 Member
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    I am lazy - it's far less difficult to keep the name (and if any of my married friends had honestly told me what a PITA it was to change names, I never would have when I got married :P).

    However, my ex decided to become a creepy stalker, and so I decided to revert back to my old name to alleviate some of the times he was calling around (Doctors office, Dog's Kennel, etc) saying his last name, and asking if his "wife" had made an upcoming appointment. Ick.
    Arrrrrgh. I hate you had to go through that.

    But it would have been far worse to stay with that! :tongue:
  • Ocarina
    Ocarina Posts: 1,550 Member
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    Haha. I never have changed my last name and am happily married going on 3 years. LOL. Just too much of a pain in the butt and rear end to change it all. I will hyphenate when I have children or maybe after I graduate/change jobs.
  • Meatsies
    Meatsies Posts: 351 Member
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    I'm in the process of a divorce.

    I'm going back to my maiden name.

    BUT, I'm changing the kids' names, too.

    I will not have a different last name than my kids.
  • Huskeryogi
    Huskeryogi Posts: 578 Member
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    You're making several assumptions here. I said "my parents gave me this name," I never said it was passed down from my father.

    Was your mothers last name the same as your fathers? If it was then guess what? Your name has been passed down by your father.

    Says who. There's no rule the on the birth certificate you have to use the father's last name.
  • Mhaney
    Mhaney Posts: 467 Member
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    Your friend is a moron.
    I keep the last name because it is my kids' last name as well and just makes everything easier that way. What kind of shallow, controlling douche bag guys would I be dating for them to think my LAST NAME has anything to do with them?
  • ValerieMartini2Olives
    ValerieMartini2Olives Posts: 3,041 Member
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    I'm a divorced woman and I kept my married name. I did so because I like the way out sounds and flows better than my first name. I also don't want to go through all of the hassle of changing all my info driver's license, credit cards, subscriptions, etc back to my married name. I also got my ex's blessing to continue using the name. It has never been an issue with anyone I have dated since. Now I am pregnant and the family and I had a debate about what to do with the last name with the baby comes. My mom wants me to use my maiden name. I wasn't sure, so I talked it over with my kid's dad. He said he needed to think about it and ultimately decided that he wants his last name.
  • BADGIRLstl
    BADGIRLstl Posts: 473 Member
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    Your friend is a moron.
    I keep the last name because it is my kids' last name as well and just makes everything easier that way. What kind of shallow, controlling douche bag guys would I be dating for them to think my LAST NAME has anything to do with them?
    You really went in on this one and I feel some type of way about it. So to keep it nice, don't personalize this ok? We all have our opinions. And it was a debate... jeesh!
  • bobie1978
    bobie1978 Posts: 204 Member
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    I debated this with my current boyfriend. He said the same thing its disrespectful.

    1. I kept it cause i have a daugter.
    2. I left my ex, i was over him long before i got a divorce.
    3 . Like my bf they are probably insecure
    4. Its easier to keep the same and a pain to change it.
    5. It is free with a divorce about $500 and a pain to change it afterwards.

    After 3 years of listening to my current bf say things about me still havig my married name. I changed it. I was divorced for 6 years before i even met my bf. My daughter is older now thats the only reason i actually did it. Also to get my bf to shut up! Lol i dont agree with any of that at all. I have absolutely no feelings for my ex whatsoever. If someone doesnt accept you for who you are and your past they need to grow up. Including my bf.

    And for all you grammar police. .sure i have typos. Sorry new phone and cant figure out how to get back to fix it!
  • DaysFlyBy
    DaysFlyBy Posts: 243 Member
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    If I had it to do all over again I wouldn't have married him in the first place, at the very least I wish I'd kept my maiden name and given the kids my maiden name = 100% problem solved.
  • DelilahCat0212
    DelilahCat0212 Posts: 282 Member
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    WHEN YOU GET DIVORCED IT DOESN'T COST ANYTHING TO CHANGE YOUR NAME BACK!! I HAVE DONE IT BEFORE THE ONLY PART I HATED WAS WAITING AT THE DMV AND THE SOCIAL SECURITY OFFICE EVERYTHING ELSE IS SIMPLE

    Did you take off work to get the DMV and Social Security card done? It does cost money if you consider you have to take time off your job. Here in my state you also have to petition the court and I don't think you can do it through the mail. More time off work.
  • FitRodr
    FitRodr Posts: 353 Member
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    I'm glad his ex changed her name back. I kept my name last time because I had it for 20 years. Remarried and hope to have this one for at least 40.
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,064 Member
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    I think if you have children, you can keep it if you want, but if you're childless, I would be inclined to go back to my old name.
  • Zylahe
    Zylahe Posts: 772 Member
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    When i got married i kept my maiden name so when i get divorced i dont need to change it back.

    Nfortunatly for me he has a really simple name and mine is ridiculously hard
  • beckajw
    beckajw Posts: 1,738 Member
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    You're making several assumptions here. I said "my parents gave me this name," I never said it was passed down from my father.

    Was your mothers last name the same as your fathers? If it was then guess what? Your name has been passed down by your father.

    Says who. There's no rule the on the birth certificate you have to use the father's last name.

    This is ridiculous. Either explain where the last name came from or stop arguing. Unless the father isn't in the picture, the father and mother have to agree as to the name on the birth certificate.
  • RockaholicMama
    RockaholicMama Posts: 786 Member
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    I'm a writer and honestly I'll ditch his last name and go back to my maiden. I wouldn't give him or his family the privilege of having their last name on my books.

    But, that's just me being bitter. :grumble:
  • pinkspanglystar
    pinkspanglystar Posts: 35 Member
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    If there were kids involved I would keep the name!! As a kid from seporated parents my mum changed back to her maiden name and since the age of 12 I have either been married or not related to my own mum in the eyes of people we initially met!! Did my mean in no end!!
  • beccyleigh
    beccyleigh Posts: 847 Member
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    If you have children it is nice to share the same name with them as well as preventing all sorts of "issues" with officialdom as they grow up, airports esp can be problem if you travel with your child & they have a different surname.

    My mum has been divorced from my (dead) father for over 30 years, she still keeps his surname. She has been with her current partner for over 20 years & he never had an issues with it. not really his bidness anyway what she calls herself.
  • kyle4jem
    kyle4jem Posts: 1,400 Member
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    I had a colleague who has kept her ex-husband's name because it was how she was known professionally.

    I also think the term "disrespect" is also used far too inappropriately and keeping a name albeit that of your ex is not disrespectful, after all, if your children also have the same surname it causes less confusion.

    A name is just a name, although it can also be a sense of identity, but just because you keep the name of an ex-partner/husband or whatever doesn't necessarily mean there's any emotional attachment to the ex, maybe you just like the sound of the name.

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