Divorced Women keeping the "ex" last name

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  • BelleHeart
    BelleHeart Posts: 281 Member
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    If I got divorced I would no longer want that guys name as my own!!! I would want to rid myself completely of that relationship. Keeping a last name after a divorce is like holding on to that relationship. It has nothing to do with the "ex's" feelings. It has to do with the female and the fact that she needs to let go. But if I were a guy I wouldn't want my girlfriend to have some other guys last name! lol
  • AmyFett
    AmyFett Posts: 1,607 Member
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    my mom kept my father's last name and it wasn't anything about not being over him, he's the biggest POS on the planet, she just didn't want to waste time and money changing it back.
  • Laddiegirl
    Laddiegirl Posts: 382 Member
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    My mom's maiden name was awful (rhymed with *kitten*) so when she and my dad divorced, she kept his name. In fact their divorce was really amicable and they stayed friends so it became a joke that she married him for the kids and the name change, lol!

    About a year after the divorce she started dating her longterm partner and they were together for 7 years till my mom passed away and he nor my dad's second wife ever cared that she kept the last name.
  • longleggedgiraffe
    longleggedgiraffe Posts: 27
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    Well, I am remarried to a wonderful man and I just added his name on the end and hyphenated. I kept my other name because I still have kids that are under age and wanted to share the last name with them. I will probably drop it after my youngest is gone. I still have a few years to go...but my husband is ok with it. He knows the reasoning behind it. and I can say Im definately over my ex!!!!!!!!!!!
  • Asheea
    Asheea Posts: 211 Member
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    Alot of people do this is they have children, so they keep the same last name as the children. If no kids, I think you should go back to your maiden name. I did.


    Agreed. My sister is keeping her X's name because of her son. She wanted the same last name as he. IF she ever re-marries she may hyphenate it.
  • shellebelle87
    shellebelle87 Posts: 291 Member
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    When i got married i kept my maiden name so when i get divorced i dont need to change it back.

    Nfortunatly for me he has a really simple name and mine is ridiculously hard

    Are you expecting to get divorced?
  • Thatsdatdiva601
    Thatsdatdiva601 Posts: 209 Member
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    If Im divorce and have kids with my ex last name, then yes I will keep it...well I think I will keep it either way...too much work to change it!
  • sthrnchick
    sthrnchick Posts: 771
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    I have been divorced for 10 years...and still have my exs last name. It is easier, since I have a son, to keep the same name as his...that being said...if I EVER remarry...I will drop it like a hot potato!
  • Mhaney
    Mhaney Posts: 467 Member
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    My husband's ex has kept his last name too and it pi**ses me off! When she walked away from the marriage, she walked away from the name. I couldn't give a *kitten* that she wants the same last name as the kids - that's the choice she made when walked out!
    (Sorry - this subject is close to my heart)!!

    You seem really bitter, and maybe a little insecure? Remember, there are three sides to the story.. his side, her side, and the truth.
    Like you said, it's "her choice," and it's also her choice to keep the name or not.
  • gramacanada
    gramacanada Posts: 558 Member
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    So why anyway, in the 21st century does anyone, change their last name when they get married anyway? Really? I haven't known anyone for years and years who has bothered. I didn't know this many people changed from their maiden name. Whatever for? Save the hassle from the get go.
  • arewethereyet
    arewethereyet Posts: 18,702 Member
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    Honestly? This IS my last name. I have worked harder for this name than anything in my life. I deserve this name more than he does!! He was just handed it at birth, I gave birth to his kids. So it is mine due to blood I shed for his children.

    I feel like if he doesn't like having the same last name as me, he can have my old one:tongue:

    (OK, maybe this is still too fresh for me
  • BeetleChe13
    BeetleChe13 Posts: 498 Member
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    It is so much freaking trouble to change your name.

    ^This. I feel like guys don't understand this because they never have to change theirs, but all the paperwork and bureaucracy is beyond annoying. My married name is way easier than my maiden name, so if anything happened, I'm keeping it. And if any guy comes along later and doesn't like it, then his lack of understanding would make him an undesirable catch imho. A name is just a name, right? It doesn't change who I am.
  • BeetleChe13
    BeetleChe13 Posts: 498 Member
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    So why anyway, in the 21st century does anyone, change their last name when they get married anyway? Really? I haven't known anyone for years and years who has bothered. I didn't know this many people changed from their maiden name. Whatever for? Save the hassle from the get go.

    Some of us were born with names that suck! Moreover, I think girls (at least here in "The South") grow up expecting their name to change. When I had a crush--from elementary school to high school--I'd doodle my "married" name all over my notebooks. I've dreamed of erasing my last name and the curse that came with it since as far back as I can remember, but I do believe that hyphenating is a more practical option for some.
  • Jessica0982
    Jessica0982 Posts: 209 Member
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    Have you ever had to change a name? Talk about a mission! If I ever split up with my husband, my name would stay exactly as it is. Its no disrespect to anyone whatsoever. If they're offended, then I think we have much bigger problems then my last name. After 8 years of being together (or maybe longer for others) why change your name back? For me, it's just one big hassle to deal with.

    I don't care what my new man thinks about it. I don't care what his new woman thinks about it. I just don't care because my decision isn't based on anyone's feelings. It'd stay that way due to convenience.
  • littlehedgy
    littlehedgy Posts: 192 Member
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    My man is taking my last name. If we ever did get divorced I would be fine with him keeping it. It's a fairly common last name and I don't really "own" it. But if he got remarried, and she took his last name she would be taking my last name... which I don't know how I would feel about. I think it would only seriously bother me if we had kids
  • JennyLisT
    JennyLisT Posts: 402 Member
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    My husband's ex has kept his last name too and it pi**ses me off! When she walked away from the marriage, she walked away from the name. I couldn't give a *kitten* that she wants the same last name as the kids - that's the choice she made when walked out!
    (Sorry - this subject is close to my heart)!!

    You seem really bitter, and maybe a little insecure? Remember, there are three sides to the story.. his side, her side, and the truth.
    Like you said, it's "her choice," and it's also her choice to keep the name or not.

    ^I agree. I'm sure other people in the world ALSO have your husband's last name. How do you feel about them? It's a name!

    Personally, I'm going to avoid this entire issue by never changing my last name. I've worked really hard while bearing this name, and it's honestly one of the coolest names I've EVER seen. A potential husband is welcome to take my name, I guess. :smokin:
  • reyopo
    reyopo Posts: 210 Member
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    I went back to my maiden name when I got divorced, even though I do have a child with his last name. Personal choice. And completely worth the "pain in the *kitten*" to me.

    Saaaaame here! Never thought twice about it, it's HIS name (and maybe a new wife's at some point), not mine anymore...I wanted to become "ME" again. I moved to a new state at the same time, so I had to update my DL and everything anyway.
  • suegmune
    suegmune Posts: 81
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    If I got married and the last name was easier than my current last name (sitting at 11 letters)... you bet your farm I'm keeping his last name.

    This is exactly the reason I kept my ex's name. I have ABSOLUTELY no ties to this guy, nor do i miss him, still love him, etc. Nope, none of those. My last name -- NO one could ever pronounce it nor spell it. My maiden name is my middle name....and I like it that way.
  • Ginani
    Ginani Posts: 1
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    It's not expensive, and really, how lazy can one be? I have three kids, they kept their dad's name as they should, and I took my maiden name back. It represented a clean start for me and it was empowering!
  • Jenrosa28
    Jenrosa28 Posts: 732 Member
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    Since my divorce I have kept my ex's last name because I earned the right to keep it!! Who ever is going to be with me or any woman with their ex's last name needs to understand that it's the person that you're interested in and not a name. "What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet." Shakespeare

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