Divorced Women keeping the "ex" last name

BADGIRLstl

I had a debate with a few guys about this subject. They believe if a woman divorces and keeps her ex's last name its disrespectful to the new guy in her life and means that she isn't truly over her ex or can't fully part with the ex. And God forbids if you were separated for a long time and started dating before the divorce was final and kept the last name - they really said that is disrespectful to the new guy. I didn't agree with this. I am sure that's the motive for "some" women, but most def. not all women. Men what's your views? Would you want your ex to go back to her maiden name? Would you think a woman you are dating isn't over the ex if she kept his last name? Women, please weigh in on this also and please do tell if you kept your last name and why. Thanks MFP

corn63

If I got married and the last name was easier than my current last name (sitting at 11 letters)... you bet your farm I'm keeping his last name.

AngryDiet

I'd keep whichever name is more awesome!

Also, I might be too lazy to go through all that paperwork.

Or I might still be obsessed.

If I were in that situation.

ElizabethRoad

It is so much freaking trouble to change your name.

samblanken

Alot of people do this is they have children, so they keep the same last name as the children. If no kids, I think you should go back to your maiden name. I did.

sillygoose1977

I kept it for my daughter. period.

Lone_Wolf70

I think it is disrespectful

DelilahCat0212

It's EXPENSIVE and a pain in the butt to change your name back, at least it is here in my state.

If my new guy thinks it's disrespectful...then maybe he isn't the guy for me.

jlapey

I kept my ex's last name because it was also my daughter's last name. When she got married, I considered changing back to my maiden name. It's been so many years that it just seems a hassle to have go through EVERY legal thing and notify everyone. I really don't see the point.

still_crafty

I kept it for my daughter. period.

^this

snoopytwins

I kept it because of my children.

infamousmk

I kept mine for a long time because changing your name is a biach. Then I was getting remarried and was like, "welp, I guess I'll just wait until I need to get my new name."

phillieschic

I'm in the process of changing to my new last name...and I've been married for a year (8/5/11).

My kids have their dad's last name...which I also had for soooo long which is why it's so difficult to get it changed. Plus, I still own a house and property with my ex-husband so there's that. It will happen over time I suppose...

sgv0918

I'll take my fiancee's lase name when we marry but until then its my exes. We share children and he gets it. A name doesn't show commitment. actions do!

care_jako

I have been seperated for three years and yes I still have my ex husbands last name. We are on relatively good terms, but do i want him back??? OH HELL NO!!! Why do i keep it?? because its easier than having to change all my cards and stuff back to my maiden name, and Because the name is wayyyy easier to pronounce than my maiden name.
I have been in a new relationship for almost a year now, I really dont think my last name bothers him. He might have bigger issues if we get married and I STILL keep my ex's last name!! :laugh:

taicampbell1

I know alot of women who have had kids with there ex decide not to change there last name because they want to have the same last name as their kids. I personally changed my last name back to my maiden name becuase I know longer wanted to have that connection with my ex.

jennnnn2u

I kept it for several reasons. First and most importantly, so I would have the same name as my son. Second, it's way better than my maiden name was. Third, it's such a hassle to change your name!

BAMFMeredith

I think most of the time it's purely logistical when a woman keeps the ex last name. For example, my boss has her ex husband's last name still (they've been divorced for 4 years now) because she is the CEO of a company and has her name (with the ex last name) on several official business documents, and it would be a nightmare to go through and change every single thing, and that's after she goes through the nightmare that is changing her last name for personal documents. It's just way too complicated to change that many things, so it's easier to keep it. Also, she is known in the industry by her ex last name, so it's easier as an identifier for her to keep it.

Another example, my parents got divorced but my mom didn't change her last name until she re-married a few years later. She went from my/my dad's last name to her current husband's last name without the step in between---just would've been a hassle. Don't wanna get into the specifics of the situation, but I get why she didn't revert to her maiden name in between.

Now, if it's just your typical run-of-the-mill divorce, I realize it's a pain in the *kitten* to change your name back, but unless you've got your former married name on a ton of legal documents that would have to be changed or you're going to get re-married soon anyway, I don't see why one would want to keep the ex's last name anyway.

KittieLea

I don't think it's disrespectful at all, neither does my boyfriend who I got together with before my divorce was final. However, I did change back to my maiden name because I no longer wanted to be associated with that name anymore. It was a mistake and I wanted to move on!

JustJennie1

Since changing my name to my husbands was such a PITA I wouldn't change it back. I've already told him that I'd keep his last name in the event of a divorce because I don't want to go through the hassle.

DaysFlyBy

I kept his last name ONLY because it was also the kids' last name. And if I ever remarry I will hyphenate it because I will NOT not share a common last name with my children. Any man who can't deal with that couldn't deal with a host of other aspects of being with me so he can just keep walking.

terra32903

I kept it so that my son would still 'identify' with me. And also because my maiden name was atrocious and I didn't like to be identified with my paternal family.

Daisy_Cutter

I went back to my maiden name. I had a bad marriage and didn't want to be tied to him in that way. However, before I did this I asked my kids how they would feel if I had a different last name than them. Response was "Mommy, a lot of kids don't have the same last name as their parents". Also, if I remarry, my name will be different at that point anyway.

FrugalMomsRock75

Alot of people do this is they have children, so they keep the same last name as the children. If no kids, I think you should go back to your maiden name. I did.

Ditto.

jlapey

Also, guys, if you want a woman to go through the trouble of changing her name for you, then give her yours. Otherwise, why do you deserve the effort? The ex is an ex for a reason, no threat to you.

Pedal_Pusher

If it works for you, use it. No, seriously.............

ashlinmarie

My mom kept her last name when she divorced my dad because she wanted the same last name as me and my brother because we were fairly young...I was the older at 7. However, she just got her second divorce from my step dad and went back to her maiden name, but my sister is 12 so I don't think it bothers her that my mom has a different last name.

StoutGirl09

If they have been together for most of their lives, the woman i would assume would keep the last name because people in the work industry know her as that name. It's hard to keep your name out there when you switch it.

Lone_Wolf70

read the OP....I get that a divroced women keeps the name, esp for kids...but if you are getting remarried...take the new name.

workoutgirl23

I think its fine to keep the last name for as long as you want, as long as your not remarried. now, if a woman marries a different man, then i would think its a little odd, that they want to keep their ex husbands last name still. but if they are just divorced and not remarried or anything, i think the woman can keep the name for as long as she wants. personally if i ever got divorced, i would keep my husbands last name for awhile. and then eventually if i got remarried to a different guy, then i would switch it.

LovingLisa2012

been married 11 years, and actually still have my maiden name (1 day I will change it to the hubbys name)

my mom kept her last ex husbands name and she has been divorced well over 20 years (probably closer to 23/24 years)
simply due to the paper work involved in changing name (credit cards, bills, car titles / car insurance, driver lisc. etc)