Divorced Women keeping the "ex" last name

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  • BrazenHarpy
    BrazenHarpy Posts: 81 Member
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    I kept my last name to annoy my ex-husband. Petty, yes, but I didn't have any emotional attachment to my maiden name or my married name. When he demanded that I change my last name so that I would no longer be affiliated with his family, I pointed him to the law that stated I was not under any legal obligation to change my name back.

    I ended up getting remarried anyway, so I don't have that last name anymore...
  • nikkijoshua
    nikkijoshua Posts: 85 Member
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    I kept it so that I'd continue to have that same last name as my children. It was important to them.
  • aliciagetshealthy
    aliciagetshealthy Posts: 946 Member
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    I kept my last name both times...because I have kids, and because it's a royal pain in the butt to do all the document changing. Maybe I would have gone back if I'd had no kids, but after 10 years I really don't see much point <shrug> ...I certainly never considered it in terms of "feelings" for the ex. Meh...it's just a name.
  • MissFit0101
    MissFit0101 Posts: 2,382
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    I kept my ex husbands last name.
  • usmcmp
    usmcmp Posts: 21,220 Member
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    I kept his last name because it's easier when taking the kids to the doctor or getting them registered for school. It's just a name to me. It doesn't define who I am, it's a way of labeling me for the government or businesses.
  • april1lowe
    april1lowe Posts: 202 Member
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    I kept my ex husbands last name and trust me, by NO means am i still hung up on him. We were together 5 years and after 2 weeks of marriage, yes weeks, he cheated and continued to for the next two months before I threw in the towel. He made his choice. My point is I had JUST got my name legally changed which anyone who has been married knows all the stuff you have to change! I personally chose to keep his bc I honestly just didn't feel like going back through that process. I was also slightly embarrassed to call and be like, yeah, let's switch this back. I also never knew my biological father whose last name I had till I married. I shared a name with a stranger for 22 years. That too played a role in not changing my name back.
  • caraiselite
    caraiselite Posts: 2,631 Member
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    for some people its easier not to change it... and cheaper haha.

    i never officially changed my last name... but i've used both.
  • EmCarroll1990
    EmCarroll1990 Posts: 2,849 Member
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    My co-worker is not technically "divorced" so she has kept his name. For one simple reason, she can't afford the divorce.
  • Sharyn913
    Sharyn913 Posts: 777 Member
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    I have the opposite problem. I've been married almost six years and never took my husbands last name. We were young and he was in the military and I didn't want the hassle. I still don't, but it bothers me whenever I think about it that we don't.
  • Janet9906
    Janet9906 Posts: 546 Member
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    If we ever got divorced I'm keeping his last name....I'm not changing all my ID again.
  • cmeade20
    cmeade20 Posts: 1,238 Member
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    My brother's girlfriend is divorced. They started dating before her divorce was finalized. She still has her ex's last name, because my brother made it clear to her that he would be willing to get married someday. She didn't want to change her last name to her maiden name only to have to turn around and change it again a few years later when she marries my brother. When you think about all the bank accounts,credit cards etc your name is attached to I don't blame her sounds like a hassle.
  • doogie52
    doogie52 Posts: 53
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    Completely a woman's choice and should not bother any new guy. Whether she changes her name back or not probably depends of the marital experience.
  • TaintedVampyre
    TaintedVampyre Posts: 1,428 Member
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    Here's a different but related-ish comment:
    When my aunt became a widow after my uncle's death, she later remarried took his last name but when they divorced she retook my uncle's last name. This is something I found interesting even if she is no longer my aunt per-se she is still strongly regarded as my family.
  • itsDorian7
    itsDorian7 Posts: 105 Member
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    I kept it cause I liked it better than my maiden name. Everyone calls me by my last name anyway, it wouldn't make sense to change it now.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    I'm single, but I probably won't change my name in the first place. I've spent 30 years with this name why would I change it?

    I wish I had never changed mine when I got married, tbh.

    I hate my last name. People can never pronounce it and everyone calls me "Lisa" all the time. (Those of you who know my last name know why.)

    I want to get married just so I CAN change it! lol I would never go back. My only child is about to start college and will probably get married and change hers someday, so no reason not to for me.
  • lmbame905
    lmbame905 Posts: 84 Member
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    I almost didn't change my name when I GOT married. My husband wasn't fond of this idea, and didn't even really like the idea of hyphenating. I have 2 children without my husband and told him I was gonig to wait until the little one was married before changing my name. I'm also 36 and LIKE my old name much better than my maiden name. it was a hassle to change, but I did it for him. If we ever decide to divorce? depending on where I am in my career, and whether or not I want to go through the hassle of explaining to people I only have an email relationship with at work why my name changed, I may change it back. But I don't count on that. :)

    A man who feels keeping her ex husband's last name is disrespectful to the new man is clearly immature and shouldn't be involved with her in the first place. When you are married, you take on the last name as a symbol of your new existance. when you divorce, you still have to live your life. Especially when you have children together.
  • alerica1
    alerica1 Posts: 310 Member
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    I kept my ex's last name "for the sake of the kids" but now that my youngest has graduated from high school I'm considering going back to my maiden name.....which I like so much better because its really cool.
  • bradday86
    bradday86 Posts: 4
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    I think alot of this also comes down to whether or not you have kids, When me and my wife got seperated she actually asked me if I minded if she kept my last name, because of my daughters last name being Day. Of course I had no objections and thankfully I was blessed enough to reconcile everything and we are going strong.

    On the other end of the spectrum when my brother got divorced, he straight up told the Judge, he would agree to everything as far as custody, child support whatever as long as she gave up her name as he felt she "didnt deserve to be a Day"

    So i guess there are many ways to look at this.
  • dpwellman
    dpwellman Posts: 3,271 Member
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    I'd keep whichever name is more awesome!

    Also, I might be too lazy to go through all that paperwork.
    This. I have yet to change mine. Back.
  • twistofcain
    twistofcain Posts: 190
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    My mom kept my dad's last name mainly because I was still in grade school when they divorced and most people knew her by that last name as they were married for 12 years. She re-married a few years later and when they divorced she went back to my dad's last name, mainly because that is what everyone knows her by.



    And my dad is awesome.

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