Divorced Women keeping the "ex" last name

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Replies

  • pinkbullets
    pinkbullets Posts: 15 Member
    I kept my ex's name just because the whole name change thing is such a pain in the butt.

    That being said, if I ever get married again, I'll change it to my new husband's name,
  • stang_girl88
    stang_girl88 Posts: 234 Member
    I never changed my last name when I married, PITA. My sister changed hers as soon as she could after getting divorced. She didnt want any part of him or his family. If you have kids, I can totally understand the ex keeping the married name. I dont see it being a big deal, its just a name, not who you are.
  • Jen_Jennings
    Jen_Jennings Posts: 124 Member
    Alot of people do this is they have children, so they keep the same last name as the children. If no kids, I think you should go back to your maiden name. I did.

    ^^^^^^ THIS! I kept my ex's last name due to my son. I remarried and now we both have my new husbands last name. When you marry and take on your husbands last name, it is legally YOUR name, so why change it? Personal pref I guess. But I kept mine for my son's sake.
  • Nataliaho
    Nataliaho Posts: 878 Member
    I didn't take my husbands name when we got married so this won't be an issue for me. I can't ever imagine us getting a divorce though. I think that people should do whatever works for them. If a guy has a problem with it then either they are too insecure, or they are probably right about the woman. In either case one should run from the other!
  • Mewlingstork
    Mewlingstork Posts: 266 Member
    It is so much freaking trouble to change your name.

    This.
  • Impy84
    Impy84 Posts: 430
    never got married
    solved that problem
  • jzsor12
    jzsor12 Posts: 69
    Alot of people do this is they have children, so they keep the same last name as the children. If no kids, I think you should go back to your maiden name. I did.
    yes, my Mum did this. Doesn't bother anyone so why not
  • drwgal
    drwgal Posts: 66
    My fiancee`'s ex wife kept his last name, she said it was for the children, which is fine, but her actions definitely show other wise as I feel she is a lousy mother to begin with(wont get into details). I don't, in fact from the ex's perspective...she has NO problems going through 3-4 men a week or however often it is. So I don't think those men really care. I on the other don't like it, it makes it a complete PITA for me as now there will be 2 of us out there.
  • Mummyadams
    Mummyadams Posts: 1,125 Member
    My husband's ex has kept his last name too and it pi**ses me off! When she walked away from the marriage, she walked away from the name. I couldn't give a *kitten* that she wants the same last name as the kids - that's the choice she made when walked out!
    (Sorry - this subject is close to my heart)!!
  • StarvingDiva
    StarvingDiva Posts: 1,107 Member
    If you don't have kids with the ex and there isn't the reason of keeping the same last name as your children, I don't see why you would want to keep it. I certainly didn't, I lived in a really small town, no matter where i went my married last name was instantly recognizable and I was constantly asked if I was related to xx and x. So I couldn't wait to be anonymous.
  • suzieqcookie
    suzieqcookie Posts: 314 Member
    to keep the same last name as my kids. If i would ever remarry, i would take my new husbands last name. but i'm not especially close with my family, so i don't really consider taking that back an option. Also, unlike when you get married, you have to go through a separate legal process, with fees, to change your name, or i would have at least had it legally hyphenated
  • yankeesforever
    yankeesforever Posts: 14
    If there were still young children living at home, I would probably suggest keeping the name, at least until re-marrying. If no kids, or if they are grown, then no reason to keep the name.
  • mm9660
    mm9660 Posts: 10
    I kept my last name for several reasons. No specific reason for the order
    1. My Mother kept my father's last name.
    2. When I married and divorced I decided to keep my last name the same as my son's last name to avoid any confusion.
    3. It's My right to keep it if I want to. There is no disrespect intended on anyones's part. If the desire to change hit's me or I decided I want to go through the hassle of changing it or if I remarry, then I will change my last name. It just is not a big deal for me at this stage in of my life and any man I am dating has an issue I am running for the hills. Because I would see some control issues in the future of that relationship.
  • suzieqcookie
    suzieqcookie Posts: 314 Member
    My husband's ex has kept his last name too and it pi**ses me off! When she walked away from the marriage, she walked away from the name. I couldn't give a *kitten* that she wants the same last name as the kids - that's the choice she made when walked out!
    (Sorry - this subject is close to my heart)!!

    you could easily be my ex's new wife... and i say to f-ing bad. I didn't walk away from the marriage, but i got to the point where after 2 marriage counselors i finally cried "uncle". Funnier still, everything he wasn't willing to do to save our marriage, he IS willing to do to keep his new marriage afloat.
  • SheilaG1963
    SheilaG1963 Posts: 298 Member
    I kept my exs name for my kids sake. Now that I'm remarried, I still have the ex around. He's more fun!
  • kiminikimkim
    kiminikimkim Posts: 746 Member
    We don't have this problem here.
    When we get married, we don't get the husband's name in this province.

    The provincial government is afraid to lose "french names" so they make it very difficult if we do want our husband's name (you need to pay considerably more if you do).

    That is Quebec, Canada for you.
  • Babymomakell
    Babymomakell Posts: 257 Member
    I have a weird situation...

    I was born with my father's surname, and he ended up disappearing at age 6. I remember how much of a hassle it was for my mom to have to explain EVERY TIME she met someone from school or dance or whatever it was that I was into at the time, that she was my mother... or correct them when people called her by Mrs "wrong name".

    I never felt connected to my surname as a child, and I wanted to have the same name as the rest of my family (mother's maiden name). So when I was 18 I changed my surname with the blessing of my family.

    In 2007 when my daughter was born, I was unmarried, and after a breakup with baby-daddy, I decided to give my daughter my surname so that we will match and she will feel happy to be apart of her family (baby daddy and his family have no contact with us).

    Skip forward five years... I have been in a relationship for three years, and he knows full-well that if and when I do get married, I will not change my name. I may hyphen it for social reasons, but I want to share my surname with my child. Also, I hope that whomever I do marry will understand that I plan to give any future children BOTH last names.

    So, yeah.... do whats right for YOU! =)
  • susan2396
    susan2396 Posts: 794 Member
    Like many, I kept it because of my son. Plus, to me a name is just a name and doesn't define who I am. Heck, why not just go with Susan like Madonna, Cher, etc. . . LOL!!!
  • Mummyadams
    Mummyadams Posts: 1,125 Member
    My husband's ex has kept his last name too and it pi**ses me off! When she walked away from the marriage, she walked away from the name. I couldn't give a *kitten* that she wants the same last name as the kids - that's the choice she made when walked out!
    (Sorry - this subject is close to my heart)!!

    you could easily be my ex's new wife... and i say to f-ing bad. I didn't walk away from the marriage, but i got to the point where after 2 marriage counselors i finally cried "uncle". Funnier still, everything he wasn't willing to do to save our marriage, he IS willing to do to keep his new marriage afloat.
    What is your point?? No relevance then is there since my husbands ex wife walked out.
  • MandaPaigeSparkles88
    MandaPaigeSparkles88 Posts: 1,289 Member
    Well I have been divorced for at lease 2 years plus and I have my ex husband's last name. The reason why I don't go back to my maiden name is because it costs money to have your name changed and that's money I simply don't have right at the moment to change it back. I wish I would have never took his name when I got married but I can't go back and do it over again, So I am stuck with his name till I get the money to change it back.
  • BelleHeart
    BelleHeart Posts: 281 Member
    If I got divorced I would no longer want that guys name as my own!!! I would want to rid myself completely of that relationship. Keeping a last name after a divorce is like holding on to that relationship. It has nothing to do with the "ex's" feelings. It has to do with the female and the fact that she needs to let go. But if I were a guy I wouldn't want my girlfriend to have some other guys last name! lol
  • AmyFett
    AmyFett Posts: 1,607 Member
    my mom kept my father's last name and it wasn't anything about not being over him, he's the biggest POS on the planet, she just didn't want to waste time and money changing it back.
  • Laddiegirl
    Laddiegirl Posts: 382 Member
    My mom's maiden name was awful (rhymed with *kitten*) so when she and my dad divorced, she kept his name. In fact their divorce was really amicable and they stayed friends so it became a joke that she married him for the kids and the name change, lol!

    About a year after the divorce she started dating her longterm partner and they were together for 7 years till my mom passed away and he nor my dad's second wife ever cared that she kept the last name.
  • longleggedgiraffe
    longleggedgiraffe Posts: 27
    Well, I am remarried to a wonderful man and I just added his name on the end and hyphenated. I kept my other name because I still have kids that are under age and wanted to share the last name with them. I will probably drop it after my youngest is gone. I still have a few years to go...but my husband is ok with it. He knows the reasoning behind it. and I can say Im definately over my ex!!!!!!!!!!!
  • Asheea
    Asheea Posts: 211 Member
    Alot of people do this is they have children, so they keep the same last name as the children. If no kids, I think you should go back to your maiden name. I did.


    Agreed. My sister is keeping her X's name because of her son. She wanted the same last name as he. IF she ever re-marries she may hyphenate it.
  • shellebelle87
    shellebelle87 Posts: 291 Member
    When i got married i kept my maiden name so when i get divorced i dont need to change it back.

    Nfortunatly for me he has a really simple name and mine is ridiculously hard

    Are you expecting to get divorced?
  • Thatsdatdiva601
    Thatsdatdiva601 Posts: 209 Member
    If Im divorce and have kids with my ex last name, then yes I will keep it...well I think I will keep it either way...too much work to change it!
  • sthrnchick
    sthrnchick Posts: 771
    I have been divorced for 10 years...and still have my exs last name. It is easier, since I have a son, to keep the same name as his...that being said...if I EVER remarry...I will drop it like a hot potato!
  • Mhaney
    Mhaney Posts: 467 Member
    My husband's ex has kept his last name too and it pi**ses me off! When she walked away from the marriage, she walked away from the name. I couldn't give a *kitten* that she wants the same last name as the kids - that's the choice she made when walked out!
    (Sorry - this subject is close to my heart)!!

    You seem really bitter, and maybe a little insecure? Remember, there are three sides to the story.. his side, her side, and the truth.
    Like you said, it's "her choice," and it's also her choice to keep the name or not.
  • gramacanada
    gramacanada Posts: 557 Member
    So why anyway, in the 21st century does anyone, change their last name when they get married anyway? Really? I haven't known anyone for years and years who has bothered. I didn't know this many people changed from their maiden name. Whatever for? Save the hassle from the get go.

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