Divorced Women keeping the "ex" last name
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If I had it to do all over again I wouldn't have married him in the first place, at the very least I wish I'd kept my maiden name and given the kids my maiden name = 100% problem solved.0
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WHEN YOU GET DIVORCED IT DOESN'T COST ANYTHING TO CHANGE YOUR NAME BACK!! I HAVE DONE IT BEFORE THE ONLY PART I HATED WAS WAITING AT THE DMV AND THE SOCIAL SECURITY OFFICE EVERYTHING ELSE IS SIMPLE
Did you take off work to get the DMV and Social Security card done? It does cost money if you consider you have to take time off your job. Here in my state you also have to petition the court and I don't think you can do it through the mail. More time off work.0 -
I'm glad his ex changed her name back. I kept my name last time because I had it for 20 years. Remarried and hope to have this one for at least 40.0
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I think if you have children, you can keep it if you want, but if you're childless, I would be inclined to go back to my old name.0
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When i got married i kept my maiden name so when i get divorced i dont need to change it back.
Nfortunatly for me he has a really simple name and mine is ridiculously hard0 -
You're making several assumptions here. I said "my parents gave me this name," I never said it was passed down from my father.
Was your mothers last name the same as your fathers? If it was then guess what? Your name has been passed down by your father.
Says who. There's no rule the on the birth certificate you have to use the father's last name.
This is ridiculous. Either explain where the last name came from or stop arguing. Unless the father isn't in the picture, the father and mother have to agree as to the name on the birth certificate.0 -
I'm a writer and honestly I'll ditch his last name and go back to my maiden. I wouldn't give him or his family the privilege of having their last name on my books.
But, that's just me being bitter. :grumble:0 -
If there were kids involved I would keep the name!! As a kid from seporated parents my mum changed back to her maiden name and since the age of 12 I have either been married or not related to my own mum in the eyes of people we initially met!! Did my mean in no end!!0
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If you have children it is nice to share the same name with them as well as preventing all sorts of "issues" with officialdom as they grow up, airports esp can be problem if you travel with your child & they have a different surname.
My mum has been divorced from my (dead) father for over 30 years, she still keeps his surname. She has been with her current partner for over 20 years & he never had an issues with it. not really his bidness anyway what she calls herself.0 -
I had a colleague who has kept her ex-husband's name because it was how she was known professionally.
I also think the term "disrespect" is also used far too inappropriately and keeping a name albeit that of your ex is not disrespectful, after all, if your children also have the same surname it causes less confusion.
A name is just a name, although it can also be a sense of identity, but just because you keep the name of an ex-partner/husband or whatever doesn't necessarily mean there's any emotional attachment to the ex, maybe you just like the sound of the name.0 -
If I had a divorce - I'd so change back to my maiden name. Why not? I love my last name and I wouldn't want to be associated with that person, even if there were children involved.0
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I am divorced and I kept my husband's surname because I am a journalist and I made my name with my married surname. All my portfolio would no longer be associated with me were anyone to search for it under my maiden name.
Plus it's expensive and time-consuming to change all the documents concerned, and money is in short supply after a divorce, especially when you're a journalist!
Believe me, I'd like to go back to my maiden name - I was the last of the family with my Dad's surname. I changed it on Facebook, as searches bring me up for both names and it's a sufficient declaration of who I am. I also have email accounts in both names.
Any future partner would only know me with this surname and would never meet my ex, so that side would never be an issue. Were I to marry again... I don't know, but it's a pretty unlikely scenario.
I know who I am and that's all that matters.0 -
I kept it because of my children.
I agree!!!!!!0 -
I didn't choose to go back to my maiden name when I got divorced. I was well know right around the country (in my particular field of work) and had no desire to explain to everybody that "no, I didn't just get married, I got divorced".
I DID take my new husband's name when I got married for a second time - mostly because I didn't choose to continue to use the name of my ex husband when i had a new husband.
It was entirely my choice and I'm happy for any other woman to make the choice that suits her, for her own reasons. It's none of my business what someone else does in their life.0 -
I had a debate with a few guys about this subject. They believe if a woman divorces and keeps her ex's last name its disrespectful to the new guy in her life and means that she isn't truly over her ex or can't fully part with the ex. And God forbids if you were separated for a long time and started dating before the divorce was final and kept the last name - they really said that is disrespectful to the new guy. I didn't agree with this. I am sure that's the motive for "some" women, but most def. not all women. Men what's your views? Would you want your ex to go back to her maiden name? Would you think a woman you are dating isn't over the ex if she kept his last name? Women, please weigh in on this also and please do tell if you kept your last name and why. Thanks MFP
When I got divorced I didn't change my last name back to my maiden name solely because I couldn't afford it. Here in Nova Scotia it costs approx $1400 to change your name back to your maiden name, on top of the nearly $5000 it had cost me for the divorce and as a single mom it wasn't affordable at the time. When I got very serious with my now second husband we talked about it and he actually helped me pay to change my name back to my maiden name and at the same time he adopted my daughter. While we're only common law all our children (including my oldest that he adopted, who chose her own last name) are all hyphenated (mine-his) and after 10 years everyone just calls me by his last name anyways.0 -
You're making several assumptions here. I said "my parents gave me this name," I never said it was passed down from my father.
Was your mothers last name the same as your fathers? If it was then guess what? Your name has been passed down by your father.
Says who. There's no rule the on the birth certificate you have to use the father's last name.
This is ridiculous. Either explain where the last name came from or stop arguing. Unless the father isn't in the picture, the father and mother have to agree as to the name on the birth certificate.
Here in NS in 2006 (when I had my last child) the hospital's rule was the child was automatically given the mother's last name and if you aren't married we then had to go through a legal process to change the child's last name to a hyphenated name for both mine and their father's. It was months of paperwork and had cost us a small fortune in fees for having documents witnessed by a justice of the peace.0 -
Now this is insane!You're making several assumptions here. I said "my parents gave me this name," I never said it was passed down from my father.
Was your mothers last name the same as your fathers? If it was then guess what? Your name has been passed down by your father.
Says who. There's no rule the on the birth certificate you have to use the father's last name.
This is ridiculous. Either explain where the last name came from or stop arguing. Unless the father isn't in the picture, the father and mother have to agree as to the name on the birth certificate.
Here in NS in 2006 (when I had my last child) the hospital's rule was the child was automatically given the mother's last name and if you aren't married we then had to go through a legal process to change the child's last name to a hyphenated name for both mine and their father's. It was months of paperwork and had cost us a small fortune in fees for having documents witnessed by a justice of the peace.0 -
I would keep my his last name because I have a kid with him, but if I remarried I wouldn't I tihnk it is disrespectful to do that and remarry. But I see why women who have kids keep the name and there is nothing wrong with that.0
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Get married, take his last name.......get divorced, drop his last name. I wouldn't want to continue walking around with my ex's last name..time to move on
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Ha I kept my daughter's last name- better for her and I had made a name for myself with her last name- the x has nothing to do with my decision :drinker:0
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Very interesting responses. I wish more men would way in. MEN, WHERE ARE YOU?????0
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I think I now have a better understanding of the original question.Very interesting responses. I wish more men would way in. MEN, WHERE ARE YOU?????
lol
Right now I still hvae my ex's name. I will contiune to do so until I get remarried. My fiance and I agreed this was the best thing for my very young children.
I would not keep my ex's name once we are married. But, at that point the different name thing will make more sense to them.0 -
When my ex-husband & I divorced, I asked him if I could keep his last name. It had nothing to do with me still wanting to be with him…I just wanted to have the same last name as my kids. Probably a stupid reason but before we were married, having a different last name than my daughter just led to headaches with paperwork & what not.0
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A male friend took her last name, and when they eventually divorced, he kept it.
IIRC, he mentioned that changing his last name due to marriage was quite difficult at the time.0 -
I kept my ex's last name because of my son. I did, however, change it to my new husband's name when we got married. I was going to hyphenate it, but then realzied his name would come before my husband's so decided against it. I just had a talk with my son explaining that regardless of our last names, I will always be his mommy.0
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Oh and BTW....it is a ROYAL pain in the *kitten* to change your name. I'm sure that's why many don't change it.0
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I kept it for several reasons. First and most importantly, so I would have the same name as my son. Second, it's way better than my maiden name was. Third, it's such a hassle to change your name!
^^^^This!0 -
my ex wives (been married twice) both have my last name. And so do all my kids. True I liked them better before they took my last name..lol..but I really dont have a problem with them doing that. it's not out of love its out of ninja I went thru hell and back with you and i changed my identity for you well since you are gone i am keeping a reminder..lol. Also for insurance purposes its easier.0
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Hell, I'm still technically MARRIED to my ex...and have been for the 2+ years I've been with my boyfriend. :laugh: It's never bothered him, but maybe he's just more secure than the average man?
After the divorce has gone through, I imagine I'll still be keeping the ex's name. Too many certifications and crap that I'd have to have changed. Just not worth the hassle, unless I end up married again at some point.0 -
I kept mine after the divorce for the kids. However when I got remarried I took his name.0
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