Shallow men.....

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  • cindergirl73
    cindergirl73 Posts: 51
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    Sure some men are shallow. However, being in bad shape indicates lack of structure and self control in ones life. That is what is most unattractive about overweight people.

    The ironic thing about this particular guy is that he's a RAGING alcoholic.....
  • juliecat1
    juliecat1 Posts: 3,455 Member
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    CONFIDENCE! Makes a big difference my dear.
  • AJ_Pete
    AJ_Pete Posts: 863 Member
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    I guess it's a confidence thing for me. I like that one guy recently who wanted a thin woman and that kinda set me back. I do want to be comfortable with me and so I decided to focus on getting that accomplished now.

    It is about how you perceive yourself. It's his preference, just as he was yours. It sucks, but there's a guy out there twice as awesome that'll totally rock your socks.
  • Juliejustsaying
    Juliejustsaying Posts: 2,332 Member
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    I think it has everything to do with how you feel about yourself luv. Men are attracted to confidence I find and it isn't something you can fake easily.

    Take it from me, being skinny doesn't make it an automatic fix. I went from a size 12-14 to a size 2 and I still have men trouble. Oh sure, I get lots of attention, but it isn't always the kind I want and I'm still sitting here with a broken heart because the one I want left and is dating a girl who probably wears a size 16....so it is all relative...

    Work on you and do it for you...the sure way to happiness is to love yourself through thick and thin. You have a lovely face, and I'll be willing to bet a lovely personality.
  • FuneralDiner
    FuneralDiner Posts: 438 Member
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    Meh. Everyone has preferences. I don't like super skinny guys or super muscular OR super fat. I like average or chubby dudes. Doesn't make me shallow.
    People take interest in the people who they can relate to. If a guy is active and healthy, it wouldn't work with the girl who eats crap all day and would rather watch Keeping Up With The Kardashians than go for a hike. My tastes have changed with my new lifestyle. Not so much with looks, but with the lifestyle they lead.
    Agreed. Being overweight can say a lot about a person's lifestyle.

    I'm very health-conscious, even moreso since joining the site, and I just would not be compatible with someone who is severely overweight, does no exercise and probably chows down fast food all day, every day.
  • poshcouture
    poshcouture Posts: 610
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    I have to agree with the rest. Everyone has a preference. Me? My preferences are athletic to chubby, but not severly overweight. I am still pretty active and I like men who can be just as active or don't mind staying in. I can't be mad at a man for not being attracted to a woman that's "thicker than a Snicker." :wink:
  • AJ_Pete
    AJ_Pete Posts: 863 Member
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    Sure some men are shallow. However, being in bad shape indicates lack of structure and self control in ones life. That is what is most unattractive about overweight people.

    The ironic thing about this particular guy is that he's a RAGING alcoholic.....

    And you found that attractive?
  • Faye_Anderson
    Faye_Anderson Posts: 1,495 Member
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    Sure some men are shallow. However, being in bad shape indicates lack of structure and self control in ones life. That is what is most unattractive about overweight people.

    The ironic thing about this particular guy is that he's a RAGING alcoholic.....

    Ooh, sounds like the ideal man, no wonder you were so disappointed when he knocked you back :noway:
  • corn63
    corn63 Posts: 1,580 Member
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    Having certain tastes in the opposite sex isn't shallow. It's what we are attracted to. Would you date a really ugly guy just because he was nice or rich?



    Nice? No. Nice doesn't pay the bills.
    Rich? Yes. Rich pays the bills.

    :)
  • manderson27
    manderson27 Posts: 3,510 Member
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    I have dated plenty of men when I was large. There are a lot of men out there who find full bodied women very attractive. it is about confidence and dressing for your size and shape.

    In my opinion It is ony shallow when he likes you enough to sleep with you but is embarrassed to be seen out with you.

    I don't find overweight men sexually attractive myself so who am I to judge a man for his preferred taste in women.
  • TexasRattlesnake
    TexasRattlesnake Posts: 375 Member
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    Sure some men are shallow. However, being in bad shape indicates lack of structure and self control in ones life. That is what is most unattractive about overweight people.

    The ironic thing about this particular guy is that he's a RAGING alcoholic.....

    You wanted to get together with a RAGING alcoholic? I think you may need to re-focus what you're looking for and find a decent guy that will want you for you?
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
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    As others have said, having a preference doesn't make a person shallow.
  • postrockandcats
    postrockandcats Posts: 1,145 Member
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    I've had better luck with men when fatter as I was generally more confidant. Being thinner won't make you better with men in the long run.
  • angryguy77
    angryguy77 Posts: 836 Member
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    OP, I'm 4'2" with cystic acne, impotent and I have a bad case of moobs. Can I get your number?

    I also don't have a job, kind of surprising seeing that I have an 8th grade education...

    I'm sure you'll be contacting me shortly. I can't wait to meet you:flowerforyou:
  • CoachAdrian
    CoachAdrian Posts: 5
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    I think you should just concentrate on you. Meet your fitness goals, be strick on your die,t and workout when you are supposed too. You will be shocked because when you put yourself first and put all of your energy on you, the rest of your life will fall into place. Don't let anyone side track you, don't fall into old habits, make your fitness journey the start of your new life. When you achieve your fitness goals you will naturally have confidence, people will look at you, and what you want will be there.
  • TexasRattlesnake
    TexasRattlesnake Posts: 375 Member
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    OP, I'm 4'2" with cystic acne, impotent and I have a bad case of moobs. Can I get your number?

    You can have mine, I'd look amazing standing next to you.
  • brianblinn
    brianblinn Posts: 70 Member
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    Speaking as a man I can honestly say that EVERYONE (men, woman, llamas) have differnt tastes & preferences. Some like blondes, big chests, tall, short, rich, sporty, original, extra chrispy... Those last two might be chicken. LOL! Try not to judge with a broad brush. I have known guys who love curves ( I am one) & prefer redhead (blondes are not dumb but why take chances ;P ). Everyone has a preference. Now, without getting psycho-babbly, maybe you could think about why "all" the guys you know are the same arch-type? My 2 cent worth: find new guys. It took me a while to "find" women who liked men under 5'10", who hate sports, don't mind shopping, likes to read... and so on. Plenty of men, women & those pesky llamas complain about "insert other here" but still try to find the same types of people. I am not trying to blame you, truly. Just be yourself (took me years) & the weirdest thing happens. The "type" of partners you're looking for... find you. Stay strong & carry on! Watch out for the llamas!
  • Faye_Anderson
    Faye_Anderson Posts: 1,495 Member
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    OP, I'm 4'2" with cystic acne, impotent and I have a bad case of moobs. Can I get your number?

    You can have mine, I'd look amazing standing next to you.

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • Shrinking_Stacey
    Shrinking_Stacey Posts: 100
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    NEVER...I repeat NEVER let ANYONE, (male or otherwise) determine how you feel about yourself! You are giving those people WAY too much control! You are beautiful and worthy of love and pleasure regarless of shape or size! Be thankful that "shallow man" is out of your life;)
  • stacey1172
    stacey1172 Posts: 43 Member
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    My husband and I started dating long before I was thin. It's all about confidence. Men can tell when a woman doesn't like herself, and that sends all the good ones packing. I've seen plenty of gorgeous men married to overweight women, but those women just exude confidence.

    The men who are hung up solely on looks are the ones you want to avoid like the plague anyways.

    And like Corn said, don't lose weight for anyone but yourself.

    ^^this- 100%^^

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