Hubby spying on me...

MizzTatiana
MizzTatiana Posts: 116 Member
in Chit-Chat
I'm used to my husband spying on me through Facebook, I've had that forever, but ever since I lost 30 lbs and then joined MFP for that last pesky 10, he's been spying on me here too. I can't get him to join (he could stand to eat healthier too) but for the life of me I can't understand why would MFP be worthy of spying on? Does your hubby do that too, wives do you spy on your hubby's MFP page/friends/posts/diary?
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Replies

  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
    No...
  • corn63
    corn63 Posts: 1,580 Member
    Your husband sounds like an insecure man. Nothing sexier. /sarcasm



    Edited for: If you're okay with this, that's one thing. But know that this is NOT normal people behavior.
  • JustJennie1
    JustJennie1 Posts: 3,749 Member
    No. I don't have to. I completely and totally trust my husband. There's absolutely no reason why I should spy on him.
  • oOMusicBabii
    oOMusicBabii Posts: 494
    Sounds like he has some issues if he is "spying" on you on Facebook and MFP. Might want to talk to him about his insecurities, lack of trust and control...

    There should be no reason to be spying on a S.O. like that.
  • 75Juniper
    75Juniper Posts: 376
    I'm used to my husband spying on me through Facebook, I've had that forever, but ever since I lost 30 lbs and then joined MFP for that last pesky 10, he's been spying on me here too. I can't get him to join (he could stand to eat healthier too) but for the life of me I can't understand why would MFP be worthy of spying on? Does your hubby do that too, wives do you spy on your hubby's MFP page/friends/posts/diary?


    No, he doesn't. And I don't spy on him, either. Have you talked to him about it?
  • FuneralDiner
    FuneralDiner Posts: 438 Member
    Yeah. Majorly insecure. Now that you've lost weight, he probably thinks you're gonna find some hot, ripped guy and run off with him.
  • PeachyPlum
    PeachyPlum Posts: 1,243 Member
    I would definitely address this with him. No good can come from a relationship where someone doesn't trust the other.
  • skinnyinnotime
    skinnyinnotime Posts: 4,078 Member
    No i don't spy on him and as far as I know he doesn't spy on me....if he did it would be his problem, not mine!!!
  • vim_n_vigor
    vim_n_vigor Posts: 4,089 Member
    I don't know if he spies on me or not. My page is pretty much always logged in from home, so he could certainly look in any time he wants. He hasn't said anything. I don't expect that this would be interesting enough to him to bother though.
  • MonkRocker
    MonkRocker Posts: 198
    So next time we meet up, you're bringing the baby oil, right?

    I'll bring the swing and all the leather stuff.

    I hate sending messages on this thing. I can never tell if they're private or not.

    This one is, right?


    Fake edit: JOKES!
  • laserturkey
    laserturkey Posts: 1,680 Member
    That kind of spying is extremely unhealthy. That's the sort of thing my abusive first husband would do.
  • phynyxfyre
    phynyxfyre Posts: 145 Member
    If you are okay with him checking up on you through facebook, I don't know why MFP would be the straw that broke the camel's back. Have you tried spying back? Lol. If he complains you can work out a "you stop spying on me, I'll stop spying on you" truce.

    Could be insecurity, could be curiosity, boredom at work, who knows? Maybe he's trying to hide something and checking in on your messages to see if you have any idea? Who really knows why he's doing it? Frustrating for sure. Either say something or do it back and see what you find.
  • nickmast78
    nickmast78 Posts: 65
    Nobody has asked if you have given your husband a reason to be spying on you.

    I love how everyone just assumes he is insecure.
  • laserturkey
    laserturkey Posts: 1,680 Member
    So next time we meet up, you're bringing the baby oil, right?

    I'll bring the swing and all the leather stuff.

    I hate sending messages on this thing. I can never tell if they're private or not.

    This one is, right?

    Win!
  • katamus
    katamus Posts: 2,363 Member
    Yeah. Majorly insecure. Now that you've lost weight, he probably thinks you're gonna find some hot, ripped guy and run off with him.

    That might be a good thing though..

    My S.O. doesn't spy on me. At least I don't think he does, but he might just be THAT good at it. He can barely remember HIS passwords, I doubt he would remember mine or care to use them for anything. Half of my stuff is set to log in automatically anyway and our computer is shared under one user. Kinda weird if you ask me. Unless you're acting super suspicious. Maybe he's just curious?

    EDIT: I don't spy on him either, until he gives me a reason to I won't be. Last time he acted shady I ruined my surprise Christmas present by snooping. Cause I'm a jerk. So I'll admit maybe I've been a little paranoid before but he doesn't have anything interesting for me to look at. I don't think he's posted on Facebook since like six months ago.
  • phynyxfyre
    phynyxfyre Posts: 145 Member
    So next time we meet up, you're bringing the baby oil, right?

    I'll bring the swing and all the leather stuff.

    I hate sending messages on this thing. I can never tell if they're private or not.

    This one is, right?
    @ MonkRocker: HILARIOUS!!!!!
  • NoAdditives
    NoAdditives Posts: 4,251 Member
    Neither one of us spies on the other. We have separate laptops, but we're always logged in to fb, gmail, etc. If we wanted to, we could check up on each other. But, we trust each other, so that's not necessary.
  • SithZombie
    SithZombie Posts: 165 Member
    No! If he can't trust you then what is your marriage built on?! My hubs has a MFP and I never look at it, OR his facebook! Good grief, if that was going on in my life, I'd wonder what was wrong with my relationship!
  • ColletteNicole
    ColletteNicole Posts: 145 Member
    We need more details. Have you given him a reason to monitor what you do? Do you have a track record of cheating or engaging in inappropriate behavior on or offline? If not, then I don't think his behavior makes sense. Either way, you need to talk to him about if it makes you uncomfortable.
  • XtyAnn17
    XtyAnn17 Posts: 632 Member
    No my hubby would never spy. We trust each other completely
  • VogtAndrea
    VogtAndrea Posts: 236
    The man is frightened. He's afraid that you're losing the weight, getting all purty and stuff and going to dump him for a new guy. Men can be just as or even more insecure than women can.
    I wonder if he's read any of those "signs my **** is cheating" things that are out there because the first major sign that somene is either cheating or going to cheat is making changes in diet and self-care / self-esteem.
    Weight loss means new clothes and the changing body images usually have us out getting a new doo to go with those new clothes and taking better care to look nice. (Even new exercise clothes have guys looking at other guys to see if they're looking at you and you looking back)
  • marie_cressman
    marie_cressman Posts: 980 Member
    hm... I don't spy on mine and he doesn't spy on me (or at least I don't feel like we're doing that to each other). We have each other's passwords, but to be honest, we leave our accounts logged in all the time. When I initially pull up the web browser, his facebook is normally logged in still from his last session. I usually sign out of it and sign right into mine. He does the same as far as I'm aware.
  • bubmaster
    bubmaster Posts: 90
    crazy...lol
  • BrieLP
    BrieLP Posts: 300 Member
    I can honestly say when I first met my fiance I did "spy" on him, but now, I trust him and respect him enough not to "spy" on him, besides I've learned we tell each other everything. Unless it has to do with his family gatherings in which case they come tell me anyways lol
  • thatsnumberwang
    thatsnumberwang Posts: 398 Member
    Define "spying". Is he logging into your accounts behind your back, or is he just reading the same stuff you post for the rest of the world to see? If it's the latter, I'd bet he's just bored, and thinks you're one of the more interesting things on the internet. If it's the latter, it's a whole different issue.
  • Lone_Wolf70
    Lone_Wolf70 Posts: 2,820 Member
    He is spying on you here. He is on my FL and told me about it.
  • Sapporo
    Sapporo Posts: 693 Member
    I don't think so, I don't think my husband gets bored enough to spy on me.
    Your husband doesn't have an account so how does he spy on you and how do you know? Does he just look at things when you are logged in? The way I see it is that I'm an open book to my husband. If he were spying on me I would not care because I have nothing to hide.
  • tinlee
    tinlee Posts: 60 Member
    I've seen articles that say that when your spouse loses weight and starts working out, that's a huge sign that he/she is cheating. I don't think he sounds insecure but rather that he values the marriage and wants to verify that you're not up to anything nefarious.

    MonkRocker is gonna get you in trouble, though! :laugh:
  • JenniBaby85
    JenniBaby85 Posts: 855 Member
    My hubby and I have access to each others Facebook accounts, but we have no need to take advantage of that. However since I have been losing weight, he has been a bit more "over protective". Not spying though. He just asks some more questions than usual, which I would prefer to spying! So I just show him what I'm doing :tongue: .

    I do keep a diary at home, which he does NOT have access to. Not that I'm hiding anything. It's just nice to have.
  • lour441
    lour441 Posts: 543 Member
    No my hubby would never spy. We trust each other completely

    Or he is really good at it!
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