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Was I being ignorant to my vegetarian friend?



  • _VoV_VoV Member Posts: 1,576 Member Member Posts: 1,576 Member
    Her phrasing was a bit off-putting, but probably not ill-intentioned.

    And your suggestion was just fine. Just chalk it up to a brief disconnect with an acquaintance, and let it go. Sure it was awkward, but we aren't living in India where vegetarianism is the norm. Your assumption that she was a meat-eater had a 98% probability of being true.

    On another point, I want to applaud you for caring about whether you were being sensitive to this acquaintance. Most people would be thinking of their hurt feelings first. You are a fine person for thinking about these things. :flowerforyou:
  • bcattoesbcattoes Member Posts: 17,307 Member Member Posts: 17,307 Member
    If you didn't know she was vegetarian, then there was nothing wrong with your suggestion. But I also didn't see anything wrong with her response. You are reading tone into it that may or may not have been intended.
  • MandaLeigh123MandaLeigh123 Member Posts: 356 Member Member Posts: 356 Member
    It's Facebook... Can't over think people's responses, especially someone you aren't close to :)
  • melaniecheeksmelaniecheeks Member Posts: 6,482 Member Member Posts: 6,482 Member
    Was it "uuummmm" which is a hestiation, or "uuuuuhhhh" which to me is also just a conversational filler?

    If it had been "Duh!" well then I might have found that strong (though I'd probably have thought it was an attempt at humour)

    If she's a vegetarian then she's probably used to things like this all the time, maybe that's her standard response.

    I think you're over-thinking it, tbh.
  • mcrowe1016mcrowe1016 Member Posts: 647 Member Member Posts: 647 Member
    ig·no·rance [ ígnərənss ] 1.lack of knowledge: lack of knowledge or education
    2.unawareness: unawareness of something, often of something important

    So, yes. You were ignorant of the fact that she was a vegetarian. I don't think her response was rude, nor do I consider all ignorance bad. You are not expected to know everything about everyone and she has now informed you that she was a vegetarian.
  • ElizabethRoadElizabethRoad Member Posts: 5,156 Member Member Posts: 5,156 Member
    Wow you are easily offended. TOM?
  • Sharyn913Sharyn913 Member Posts: 782 Member Member Posts: 782 Member
    I was a vegan for years. I think your friend was rude. I would have said - "Oh, that sounds interesting, but I'm a vegetarian! Got any other suggestions?"

    ^^ This. I wouldn't limit being rude to vegans or vegetarians. Rude people come in all shapes, colors, sizes, etc.
  • Sharyn913Sharyn913 Member Posts: 782 Member Member Posts: 782 Member
    Do you really have nothing else to do, so you clutter up the boards with this? Seriously. Go weigh a pound of baby back ribs, and a pound of tofu....and see which weighs more.


    If we're weighing things, they may as well weigh a lb of fat vs a lb of muscle. THAT thread hasn't been started yet today! =/
  • DrMAvDPhDDrMAvDPhD Member Posts: 2,097 Member Member Posts: 2,097 Member
    To everyone who is accusing me of being overly sensitive- I am not butthurt over this

    Dude. Definitely overly sensitive if you think anyone on here is "accusing" you of anything.
  • SidestealSidesteal Member Posts: 5,536 Member Member Posts: 5,536 Member
    "Uuuumm... I don't eat meat, so no."

    This does not seem rude.

    I will give you some context.

    "Hey Sidesteal would you like to climb that mountain after dinner?"
    "Uuummm...I don't climb mountains, so no"

    "Hey Sidesteal would you like to eat this jar of olives?"
    "Uuummm... I don't eat olives, so no"

    "Hey Sidesteal would you like a lapdance?"

    So hopefully that helps clear things up.
  • curvyvegancurvyvegan Member Posts: 82 Member Posts: 82
    Neither of you were rude. She could have worded it a little bit more smoothly, but like others have said it's impossible to read tone on an online forum. Maybe she thought you already knew she was vegetarian and thought you were one of those people who thinks it is hilarious to offer a vegetarian a bacon-burger. Like on this website when someone posts, "any other vegans?" and people think it is just so funny to start saying how much they love eating animals, or they start posting pictures of bacon, etc. We get this stuff from people ALL the time so if she thought you knew she was veg, that could explain the blunt response.

    If I were you I'd post, "oh, sorry I didn't realize you were veg!" I mean, you don't need to, again I don't think either of you were really rude, but it could clear up any misunderstanding...if you're worried about it.
  • RawVeganFlirtRawVeganFlirt Member Posts: 203 Member Member Posts: 203 Member
    i'm vegan and was vegetarian was 4 years and i know that since i was the only one in my family and in my group of friends, i got A LOT of **** for it. i got poked fun at DAILY (i know that it was playful but it still hurts) and had burgers and bacon shoved in my face purposely because everyone thought it was so hilarious.

    i'm not saying this justifies being rude to someone, but sometimes we do get instinctively protective and sensitive when people tell us to eat meat because it's been said to us so many times. you kind of just have to look at it from both sides i guess. after being vegan a year i have no problem with anyone people say, my reply is usually "that sounds delicious, i'm going to try and create my own healthy vegan version of it!"

  • redlady82redlady82 Member Posts: 43 Member Member Posts: 43 Member
    Send her a pack of sausages and apologize immediately!

    hahaha I love lighthearted people. I don't think the response was rude but moreso just a little sarcastic. I think our society has made it "funny" for people to say things like "ummmmmm" and think it's clever. She didn't even have to respond at all actually just ignore it.
  • carriemplscarriempls Member Posts: 332 Member Member Posts: 332 Member
    I don't really see it as rude - she said she doesn't eat meat, so no. Just stating facts, really.

    Edited to Add: I don't think you were being ignorant, but I also don't think her response was rude.

    Yeah, that's my thought. Neither one of you were out of bounds or rude.

    No big deal on either side. :shrug:
  • tennisbabe94tennisbabe94 Member Posts: 444 Member Member Posts: 444 Member
    You weren't being ignorant, since you really didn't know! But I think her response was a little impolite. She could have also thought you were joking though. Don't take it personally. It's really no biggie. :)
  • cjc166cjc166 Member Posts: 222 Member Posts: 222
    You were not being ignorant, and I do not feel she was being rude. I wouldn't read into that post as anything more than a statement of fact.
  • RawVeganFlirtRawVeganFlirt Member Posts: 203 Member Member Posts: 203 Member
    Do you really have nothing else to do, so you clutter up the boards with this? Seriously. Go weigh a pound of baby back ribs, and a pound of tofu....and see which weighs more.


    speaking of being ignorant
  • PrettylittlelotusPrettylittlelotus Member Posts: 289 Member Member Posts: 289 Member
    This is why I don't have facebook. Stop reading so much into everything and trying to cause drama. Take a breath, realize you are probably misinterpretting her comment because she forgot to add the smiley emoticon at the end, and move on with your life. :flowerforyou:
  • jlapeyjlapey Member Posts: 1,850 Member Member Posts: 1,850 Member
    I don't think you were being rude or ignorant in your suggestion if you did not know she was a vegetarian. She probably didn't mean for her response to come off as rude. The tone of a written message is easy to mistake. Not worth get worked up over. I'd just let it go. If you feel you offended her, you could reply back with, "Sorry, I didn't know" but it's probably not necessary.
  • jcpmoorejcpmoore Member Posts: 980 Member Member Posts: 980 Member
    I was a vegan for years. I think your friend was rude. I would have said - "Oh, that sounds interesting, but I'm a vegetarian! Got any other suggestions?"

    I have to agree here. I've been vegetarian and it's just not called for. If you don't know, you don't know. I had friends of mine come visit AT MY HOUSE without telling me that they had become vegetarian since the last time I had seen them. Um, hello? Previously the wife did not eat red meat or fish, so I'd gone way out of my way to get ground chicken for some cool chicken burgers. Which she couldn't eat. So we ended up making yet another trip to the grocery store after they arrived. But they were very understanding about it when I told them what I was planning for dinner. "Hey Amy, I'm making some chicken burgers for dinner-sound good?" "Um we don't eat meat anymore, but we can have just sides." "No way, girl! I had no idea but I'll make a quick trip and pick up some veggie burger patties for y'all!" See? Really polite and all.

    Your acquaintance could have been polite. Does she think you knew and wanted to be offensive? If so, why does she like you? If not, then she's probably just trying to show off to all her other friends that she's veg and pushy.

    You did nothing wrong.
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