Was I being ignorant to my vegetarian friend?

curvyvegan

Neither of you were rude. She could have worded it a little bit more smoothly, but like others have said it's impossible to read tone on an online forum. Maybe she thought you already knew she was vegetarian and thought you were one of those people who thinks it is hilarious to offer a vegetarian a bacon-burger. Like on this website when someone posts, "any other vegans?" and people think it is just so funny to start saying how much they love eating animals, or they start posting pictures of bacon, etc. We get this stuff from people ALL the time so if she thought you knew she was veg, that could explain the blunt response.

If I were you I'd post, "oh, sorry I didn't realize you were veg!" I mean, you don't need to, again I don't think either of you were really rude, but it could clear up any misunderstanding...if you're worried about it.

RawVeganFlirt

i'm vegan and was vegetarian was 4 years and i know that since i was the only one in my family and in my group of friends, i got A LOT of **** for it. i got poked fun at DAILY (i know that it was playful but it still hurts) and had burgers and bacon shoved in my face purposely because everyone thought it was so hilarious.

i'm not saying this justifies being rude to someone, but sometimes we do get instinctively protective and sensitive when people tell us to eat meat because it's been said to us so many times. you kind of just have to look at it from both sides i guess. after being vegan a year i have no problem with anyone people say, my reply is usually "that sounds delicious, i'm going to try and create my own healthy vegan version of it!"

redlady82

Send her a pack of sausages and apologize immediately!

hahaha I love lighthearted people. I don't think the response was rude but moreso just a little sarcastic. I think our society has made it "funny" for people to say things like "ummmmmm" and think it's clever. She didn't even have to respond at all actually just ignore it.

carriempls

I don't really see it as rude - she said she doesn't eat meat, so no. Just stating facts, really.

Edited to Add: I don't think you were being ignorant, but I also don't think her response was rude.

Yeah, that's my thought. Neither one of you were out of bounds or rude.

No big deal on either side. :shrug:

tennisbabe94

You weren't being ignorant, since you really didn't know! But I think her response was a little impolite. She could have also thought you were joking though. Don't take it personally. It's really no biggie.

cjc166

You were not being ignorant, and I do not feel she was being rude. I wouldn't read into that post as anything more than a statement of fact.

RawVeganFlirt

Do you really have nothing else to do, so you clutter up the boards with this? Seriously. Go weigh a pound of baby back ribs, and a pound of tofu....and see which weighs more.

Cheerio!

speaking of being ignorant

Prettylittlelotus

This is why I don't have facebook. Stop reading so much into everything and trying to cause drama. Take a breath, realize you are probably misinterpretting her comment because she forgot to add the smiley emoticon at the end, and move on with your life. :flowerforyou:

jlapey

I don't think you were being rude or ignorant in your suggestion if you did not know she was a vegetarian. She probably didn't mean for her response to come off as rude. The tone of a written message is easy to mistake. Not worth get worked up over. I'd just let it go. If you feel you offended her, you could reply back with, "Sorry, I didn't know" but it's probably not necessary.

jcpmoore

I was a vegan for years. I think your friend was rude. I would have said - "Oh, that sounds interesting, but I'm a vegetarian! Got any other suggestions?"

I have to agree here. I've been vegetarian and it's just not called for. If you don't know, you don't know. I had friends of mine come visit AT MY HOUSE without telling me that they had become vegetarian since the last time I had seen them. Um, hello? Previously the wife did not eat red meat or fish, so I'd gone way out of my way to get ground chicken for some cool chicken burgers. Which she couldn't eat. So we ended up making yet another trip to the grocery store after they arrived. But they were very understanding about it when I told them what I was planning for dinner. "Hey Amy, I'm making some chicken burgers for dinner-sound good?" "Um we don't eat meat anymore, but we can have just sides." "No way, girl! I had no idea but I'll make a quick trip and pick up some veggie burger patties for y'all!" See? Really polite and all.

Your acquaintance could have been polite. Does she think you knew and wanted to be offensive? If so, why does she like you? If not, then she's probably just trying to show off to all her other friends that she's veg and pushy.

You did nothing wrong.

SoDamnHungry

Technically you were ignorant of her vegetarian status, but how would you have known? You, however, weren't being inconsiderate. She stated that a little rudely. Just let it go. Things don't come across as they're meant to in text. Or maybe she's just rude.

shaynak112

I don't think her response was rude, honestly. I think you were just mis-reading it. Or over analyzing it.

MissFit0101

I think you're reading way too much into it.

DoomCakes

I was a vegan for years. I think your friend was rude. I would have said - "Oh, that sounds interesting, but I'm a vegetarian! Got any other suggestions?"

That's how I would have handled it too.

Spartan_Maker

Why would you be wrong for suggesting that someone try a famous hamburger? I don't get it. You said you didn't know she was a vegetarian.

And, yes, her response was snarky, to belabor the obvious.

heretoloseit95

I think i would have been bothered a bit by her response, that was a little bit defensive, she could have answered in a much nicer way like :- This sounds interesting but i'm a vegeterian, do you know a good place for vegeterians ? etc... , although i don't think you were ignorant because you didn't know !!

KittieLea

You're putting too much energy and effort into analyzing her response.
However, I am offended about how you described that burger. Now I'm hungry. See what you've done?

_Timmeh_

So it was "Uuuumm..." ? I think that means she is pissed off. If it was "UuMm" or "uuuuuuum" or "uuuuUMMMM" she is kindly thanking you for the suggestion.

gdbadass

To be totally honest, I think she was being a little *****y and "holier-than-thou" - lots of vegetarians are like reformed smokers, and they can't help but put a little passive aggressive twist into their communication about thier lifestyle.

I worked with a woman who would say things to me like:* " No, no I don't mind that you eat meat. Me, I *love* animals so I don't eat them - but *you*, you go ahead and do whatever you want. No judgement from me!"

This while sitting at my table, enjoying a perfectly divine vegan meal that I had prepared for her, with my undeniably adored dog and cat nearby.

Your friend should have at least thanked you for trying

BUT - whatever her motivation, best to shrug it off.

lizziebeth1028

Her response was worded rudely. I'm an almost vegetarian lol (eat chicken, turkey...hot dogs and bacon, bad I know)....anyway, Since I don't eat burgers I probably would have responded something like this -

Sounds good, I'll check it out online, thanks for the suggestion.

There's no need to get all uppity like the whole world is supposed to know you're a vegetarian.

PLUMSGRL

I think you're reading to much into what she said.
It wasn't rude, she probably thought you knew she was a vegetarian, hence her response~

Brunner26_2

Technically you were ignorant of her vegetarian status, but how would you have known? You, however, weren't being inconsiderate. She stated that a little rudely. Just let it go. Things don't come across as they're meant to in text. Or maybe she's just rude.

^^This

You WERE being ignorant.

ig·no·rant/ˈignərənt/
Adjective:

Lacking knowledge or awareness in general; uneducated or unsophisticated.
Lacking knowledge, information, or awareness about something in particular: "ignorant of astronomy".

You were ignorant of her vegetarian lifestyle, but you were not rude.

dane11235813

I am not overly sensitive to things such as this

posting it on here kinda shows that you are.

ElizabethRoad

For heaven's sake, she made an off-the-cuff comment that didn't come across as you liked it. She didn't sit around thinking of a way to offend you. You have officially put 20 times more thought into her comment than she has.

rikkeeroos

Uuuummm...don't you know that vegans are superior to the rest of us, and we should all be aware of their veganism? You should check the register before you go trying to give recommendations on food. How dare you suggest that she should eat something with meat in it? The poor girl is probably still trembling at the thought of your suggestion. I hope that she can still enjoy her vacation. Uuummm, where did you say that I could find that burger? It sounds pretty awesome.

Yasmine91

Many vegetarians are up their own arses...don't take it personally xxx

waster196

Do you really have nothing else to do, so you clutter up the boards with this? Seriously. Go weigh a pound of baby back ribs, and a pound of tofu....and see which weighs more.

Cheerio!

^ this is a fine example of someone being ignorant / rude. find something better to do than trolling these boards. perhaps you could weigh a pound of courtesy against a pound of idiocy and see which one you're lacking.

op: what you said to your friend was just you being friendly and helpful, i'm sure. the response from your friend sounds a little rude, but it's hard to know how things are meant online and i think someone already said facebook is a breeding ground for passive-aggressive behaviour so i wouldn't sweat over it.

suggesting meat to a vegetarian isn't like suggesting pork to a muslim (unless of course they're vegie for religious purposes) so really i wouldn't be worried about if you've done something wrong. surely it's just the same as suggesting a cheeseburger to someone who doesn't like cheese or a chocolate bar to someone who doesn't like chocolate?

DanaDark

Most hamburger places have veggie burgers. I am sure a place that is famous for burgers would have a vegetarian alternative as well.

rml_16

If you didn't know she was vegetarian, you did absolutely nothing wrong. And even if you did know and had a brain fart, you did nothing wrong. Are you sure her response wasn't just being sort of silly, though? I can't tell from what you posted that she was actually offended. It's tough with writing on FB or message boards and things.

I'm veg for moral reasons (I just feel bad eating meat) and when I went to the fair with my BF and some friends last year, we walked through the cow barn and they kept going on and on about how good they taste and saying really awful things. THAT was insensitive! lol But I laughed and told them they were mean and that was it.

CMDCMstr3

Nice!