Was I being ignorant to my vegetarian friend?

124»

Replies

  • _VoV
    _VoV Posts: 1,494 Member
    Whoa, altering a quote is super uncool.
    [/quote]

    I apologize for that. I'm very primitive in my abilities to use this quoting feature here.
    [/quote]

    Quoting abilities aside, it's really never ok to change somebody's words to help you make your point that doesn't matter if your are in a internet forum or real life. I'm not a jerk or a troll, but just be aware that if you do that in other threads it won't matter if you're ignorant of rules or not, people will not think twice to rip you to pieces.
    [/quote]

    Thank you for the heads up.
  • Marll
    Marll Posts: 904 Member
    In my experience, most vegetarians are pompous and get all up in arms when people suggest anything out of their norm, even when you don't know. I say your "friend" was being the jerk, I wouldn't sweat it.
  • Meaganandcheese
    Meaganandcheese Posts: 525 Member
    If you didn't know, you didn't know. Not your fault.

    And I am from the town where horseshoes were invented. (((springfield IL))) We had a horseshoe bar at our wedding rehearsal dinner. It's not just burgers ... we did buffalo chicken 'shoes. :drinker:
  • HisPathDaily
    HisPathDaily Posts: 672 Member
    I would not worry about it ... the problem is that typed words never carry emotion ... so many people have taken me (and I have take others) the wrong way because there is more to communication than words (body language, tone, eye contact, etc.)

    I could easily see the words: "Uuuumm... I don't eat meat, so no." said in a condescending or polite way ...

    Either case ... don't sweat it ... you sound like you're considerate and continue to be so, but don't get too ruffled ... life is too awesome to get stressed :)

    ~Me
  • Yasmine91
    Yasmine91 Posts: 599 Member
    Many vegetarians are up their own arses...don't take it personally xxx

    more ignorance. go internet!

    Notice I said many, not all.
  • FlaxMilk
    FlaxMilk Posts: 3,452 Member
    Hi there! Strict vegan here. I would not have been offended in the slightest, unless I had posted, "Does anyone have any vegan restaurant suggestions?" and then you suggested I go eat a burger with cheese fries. I would have been a little taken aback too initially if someone responded the way she did to you, though it really could have been in humor like someone else suggested. I guess that depends on her personality and your relationship. I guess I would just make a joke out of it if it is bothering you ... "oops, guess that went over like a pound of flesh, huh? My bad!"

    (I would be confused if a close friend or family member suggested a burger joint, but I'd probably ask them if they had a good veggie menu. I can't see anyone who really really knows me suggesting a burger place otherwise.)

    For those not in the know--many vegetarians will not eat veggie burgers at restaurants because they are often fried or grilled on the exact same equipment as all the meat.
  • FlaxMilk
    FlaxMilk Posts: 3,452 Member
    Ok I deleted because OP asked a question about herself (or himself.) Debating whether either side is judgmental or superior is besides the point. Plenty of other threads for that.
  • fatmom51
    fatmom51 Posts: 173 Member
    I think your suggestion was fine and it appears as though the Facebook friend was being intentionally snarky, especially since it isn't someone you interact with on a regular basis. She posted and asked for suggestions for good restaurants in a town she was going to be visiting. (I don't keep up with all the dietary habits of my far-flung friends. And who's to say that others in her group might not be veg and want to try this specialty. We have another team mom who's vegetarian and when we all go out after competitions, she'll just go wherever we all go and find something that meets her dietary preferences)
    Your friend didn't even have to respond to each of you individually, but if she felt she must, she could have just said, "I'm vegetarian, so that won't work for me, but thanks anyway." She may have thought you knew, but even still, she could have just ignored your suggestion. And who's to say that the restaurant doesn't have some awesome non-meat choices. (And who knows what kind of vegetarian she is -- does she do chicken, or seafood, or is totally vegan, etc.)
  • yourenotmine
    yourenotmine Posts: 645 Member
    I am a strict vegetarian, and might have been annoyed by your suggestion if we were close friends, but if you were someone I didn't expect to know, then not so much. And I don't think you were being insensitive. You could respond simply with an, oops, how did I miss that? or something similar. As mentioned by others, though, you would be shocked by the number of people - close friends, even - who think it's really, really witty to suggest eating something they know I would never consume. So, maybe she sincerely didn't know you didn't know and this all one big, silly misunderstanding. Anyway, try not to take it too hard.

    (And who knows what kind of vegetarian she is -- does she do chicken, or seafood, or is totally vegan, etc.)

    Just for future reference, vegetarians don't eat chicken or seafood (or any flesh), and may or may not eat dairy or eggs. Vegans do not consume or use any animal products at all, including gelatin, honey, silk, wool, lanolin, etc. Pescetarians do not eat any type of meat but fish (seafood). I find it is a common misconception that some vegetarians eat some types of meat. If a person eats any variety of meat, said person is some other type of -tarian.
  • yocando
    yocando Posts: 101 Member
    e-communication is notorious for mis-construed intent... don't read into it. I don't think her response was rude.
    And i think you are best to let it go. Sounds like she was just letting you know... and now you do.
    no big deal...... let something else take up the rental space in your precious brain .....
  • yourenotmine
    yourenotmine Posts: 645 Member
    As an aside, I'm the type of vegetarian who would probably respond with something like "ooh, can I get it with bacon?" and a ;). I'm an ethical vegetarian, but I'm still human, and I remember liking some meats, sometimes.
  • caraiselite
    caraiselite Posts: 2,631 Member
    yup, she was rude.
  • entropy83
    entropy83 Posts: 172 Member
    Oh wait misread that you knew she was vegetarian. I don't think her response was rude, you could have just replied Didn't know they may have other things at that place that are good.
  • rextcat
    rextcat Posts: 1,408 Member
    that burger soounds deelish!
  • Softrbreeze
    Softrbreeze Posts: 156 Member
    Well, it could be interpreted as rude, but sometimes the written word has difficulty conveying the attitude behind it. I can't tell you how many times someone has gotten upset and even defriended me on facebook because of some "attitude" they interpreted as rude, when it was no such thing as far as I was concerned. But as much as I hate the discord, if someone is bound and determined to get mad at me for every little word I type, I'd just as soon see them go, then have to weigh every word before I type it. Too much effort, too little return. I'd wait a while and see if she is a repeat offender. If so, say caio and good riddance!
  • Reinventing_Me
    Reinventing_Me Posts: 1,053 Member
    Sounds like she simply answered that it was a suggestion that would not work for her. It doesn't sound rude to me..nor are you ignorant because you simply didn't know. No harm, no foul. Move on.

    ^^This.^^ People read too much into things sometimes.
  • Irish_eyes75
    Irish_eyes75 Posts: 475
    Ok - you didn't know she was a vegetarian - so why would you even think you were being rude!

    Anyone who starts a reply with "umm" is condescending and rude. Period.
    It doesn't matter what she was saying. Yes she was stating a fact but she was unnecessarily rude about it. Having said that I wouldn't be bent out of shape about it - I expect rudeness from Facebook - and MFP for that matter.
  • junyr
    junyr Posts: 416 Member
    Just a sign that you're not really good enough "friends".

Categories