Was I being ignorant to my vegetarian friend?

13

Replies

  • dane11235813
    dane11235813 Posts: 682 Member
    "Uuuumm... I don't eat meat, so no."

    This does not seem rude.

    I will give you some context.

    "Hey Sidesteal would you like to climb that mountain after dinner?"
    "Uuummm...I don't climb mountains, so no"



    "Hey Sidesteal would you like to eat this jar of olives?"
    "Uuummm... I don't eat olives, so no"


    "Hey Sidesteal would you like a lapdance?"
    "Yes"



    So hopefully that helps clear things up.

    awesome!!!
  • taiyola
    taiyola Posts: 964 Member
    No. You didn't know.

    I think she was slightly rude. I'm veggie and I'd have probably just said I don't eat meat.
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    So, wait -- you want to read into her reply and assume she was being rude, but you don't want her to read into your suggestion and think you were being rude.

    THIS IS WHY THE GOLDEN RULE EXISTS.

    And YES you were ignorant because ignorant means LACKING knowledge. You didn't know. So you say "Oh, duh, I totally forgot Jean". Her response is exactly what I would have said.
  • waster196
    waster196 Posts: 138 Member
    Many vegetarians are up their own arses...don't take it personally xxx

    more ignorance. go internet!
  • angeljamin
    angeljamin Posts: 234 Member
    It's difficult to know how people are expressing the written word, without facial expressions, tone of voice and gestures. I think we all have been in a position where something can seem absolutely awful, when taken out of context.

    I just got into it with my sister over a misunderstood text (It was bad and escalated, because she is approaching Bridezilla due to her wedding in 2 months).

    I don't think either of you were out of line. Good luck!
  • Brunner26_2
    Brunner26_2 Posts: 1,152
    I'm a little surprised about how common/accepted it is to use "ignorant" as a synonym for "rude."
  • taiyola
    taiyola Posts: 964 Member
    To be totally honest, I think she was being a little *****y and "holier-than-thou" - lots of vegetarians are like reformed smokers, and they can't help but put a little passive aggressive twist into their communication about thier lifestyle.

    I worked with a woman who would say things to me like:* " No, no I don't mind that you eat meat. Me, I *love* animals so I don't eat them - but *you*, you go ahead and do whatever you want. No judgement from me!"

    This while sitting at my table, enjoying a perfectly divine vegan meal that I had prepared for her, with my undeniably adored dog and cat nearby.

    Your friend should have at least thanked you for trying :)

    BUT - whatever her motivation, best to shrug it off.

    Being veggie myself, I often find it's meat eaters who preach to me.
  • secretlobster
    secretlobster Posts: 3,566 Member
    I don't think either of you were rude. But her response, taken as just a line of text on facebook and not real communication, sounds very defensive. If she's going to be defensive that one person on earth didn't realize she has a dietary restriction, that's her problem, and I assure you she's in for a difficult life if your helpful suggestion bothered her that much.
  • alarae
    alarae Posts: 263 Member
    You were not being ignorant just trying to be helpful. It is hard to say how she meant her reply to come across to you but there probably were other ways she could have stated it. :)
  • thomassd1969
    thomassd1969 Posts: 564 Member
    Another reason I dont do facebook anymore.
  • PayneAS
    PayneAS Posts: 669 Member
    I don't think you were being ignorant or that she was being rude. You could respond with exactly what you said, "Sorry, didn't know you were vegetarian. :) "
  • angeljamin
    angeljamin Posts: 234 Member
    "Uuuumm... I don't eat meat, so no."

    This does not seem rude.

    I will give you some context.

    "Hey Sidesteal would you like to climb that mountain after dinner?"
    "Uuummm...I don't climb mountains, so no"



    "Hey Sidesteal would you like to eat this jar of olives?"
    "Uuummm... I don't eat olives, so no"


    "Hey Sidesteal would you like a lapdance?"
    "Yes"



    So hopefully that helps clear things up.

    LOVE it!!!!
  • Kouch_ka
    Kouch_ka Posts: 15 Member
    When I read your post I thought of this joke:

    Q: How can you tell if someone is a vegetarian?
    A: Don't worry...They'll tell you.

    :bigsmile:

    They will always make a point to tell people...they don't eat meat. That's exactly what your friend was doing, on facebook.
  • IndigoVA
    IndigoVA Posts: 164 Member
    Her response sounds a little rude to me, but it's really impossible to know someone's mood through text. I've been vegetarian for over 20 years. I recently posted something on FB asking people for suggestions of places to go and things to do in the Outer Banks since we'll be vacationing there in a couple weeks. A bunch of people suggested to me seafood restaurants, and things like fishing (which I'm ethically opposed to). I just thanked them for their suggestions. I don't feel the need to correct people, since I know they're only trying to help.
  • mcrowe1016
    mcrowe1016 Posts: 647 Member
    I'm a little surprised about how common/accepted it is to use "ignorant" as a synonym for "rude."

    It is like they are ignorant of the definition of the work ignorant....
  • saracatherine89
    saracatherine89 Posts: 291 Member
    Uuuummm...don't you know that vegans are superior to the rest of us, and we should all be aware of their veganism? You should check the register before you go trying to give recommendations on food. How dare you suggest that she should eat something with meat in it? The poor girl is probably still trembling at the thought of your suggestion. I hope that she can still enjoy her vacation. Uuummm, where did you say that I could find that burger? It sounds pretty awesome.

    Springfield, Illinois is where you can find the HORSESHOE!
  • VeganJamiOnAMission
    VeganJamiOnAMission Posts: 65 Member
    Really? "uhhhhhhh" implies that the statement you are responding to is dumb, doesn't it? Like, you are shocked someone would even suggest it?

    I am a vegan and I guess I would be shocked if someone suggested I eat a burger as an adventure (if they were serious), but I probably would have thought it was a joke. I don't think her response was rude, she probably thought you were joking. I wouldn't think that someone who knew me would seriously suggest that I eat meat. I would have though they were kidding. When you are reading something you tend to add your own inflection on how it would be said out loud. I wouldn't worry about it to much. She probably wasn't offended or anything, I wouldn't be.
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    I'm a little surprised about how common/accepted it is to use "ignorant" as a synonym for "rude."

    I know! Technically, she was totally ignorant !
  • daffodilsoup
    daffodilsoup Posts: 1,972 Member
    Uuuummm...don't you know that vegans are superior to the rest of us, and we should all be aware of their veganism? You should check the register before you go trying to give recommendations on food. How dare you suggest that she should eat something with meat in it? The poor girl is probably still trembling at the thought of your suggestion. I hope that she can still enjoy her vacation. Uuummm, where did you say that I could find that burger? It sounds pretty awesome.

    Hysterical.

    He suggested meat, she said said no, I don't eat meat. Should she have lied? Get over yourself.
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    Her response sounds a little rude to me, but it's really impossible to know someone's mood through text. I've been vegetarian for over 20 years. I recently posted something on FB asking people for suggestions of places to go and things to do in the Outer Banks since we'll be vacationing there in a couple weeks. A bunch of people suggested to me seafood restaurants, and things like fishing (which I'm ethically opposed to). I just thanked them for their suggestions. I don't feel the need to correct people, since I know they're only trying to help.

    Dude, I'm gonna threadjack -- if you are staying on Hatteras Island Cafe 12 and Buxton Munch. Cafe Pamlico (pricy) has a kick *kitten* seasonal veggie plate too.
  • _VoV
    _VoV Posts: 1,494 Member
    Uuuummm...don't you know that vegans are SUPERIOR to the rest of us, and we should all be aware of their veganism?

    You may be joking, but your basic premise here is judgmental towards people who identify with a vegan lifestyle. I've read this thread pretty thoroughly, and almost all of the self-identified vegans were sympathetic to the OP. Try a little more understanding, and a lot less stereotyping--It tends to make life go a little easier.
  • rikkeeroos
    rikkeeroos Posts: 28
    Uuuummm...don't you know that vegans are SUPERIOR to the rest of us, and we should all be aware of their veganism?

    You may be joking, but your basic premise here is judgmental towards people who identify with a vegan lifestyle. I've read this thread pretty thoroughly, and almost all of the self-identified vegans were sympathetic to the OP. Try a little more understanding, and a lot less stereotyping--It tends to make life go a little easier.

    I don't remember capitalizing the word "superior" in the post that you have quoted. Nevertheless, I would like to apologize to you. I should have realized that what I said could be offensive to some. Sometimes I forget that not everybody has the same sense of humor that I have. I will try to be more thoughtful with any other comments that I may post.
  • IndigoVA
    IndigoVA Posts: 164 Member
    Her response sounds a little rude to me, but it's really impossible to know someone's mood through text. I've been vegetarian for over 20 years. I recently posted something on FB asking people for suggestions of places to go and things to do in the Outer Banks since we'll be vacationing there in a couple weeks. A bunch of people suggested to me seafood restaurants, and things like fishing (which I'm ethically opposed to). I just thanked them for their suggestions. I don't feel the need to correct people, since I know they're only trying to help.

    Dude, I'm gonna threadjack -- if you are staying on Hatteras Island Cafe 12 and Buxton Munch. Cafe Pamlico (pricy) has a kick *kitten* seasonal veggie plate too.

    Thanks! We're staying in Kill Devil Hills, but we may be up for some traveling.
  • _VoV
    _VoV Posts: 1,494 Member
    Uuuummm...don't you know that vegans are SUPERIOR to the rest of us, and we should all be aware of their veganism?

    You may be joking, but your basic premise here is judgmental towards people who identify with a vegan lifestyle. I've read this thread pretty thoroughly, and almost all of the self-identified vegans were sympathetic to the OP. Try a little more understanding, and a lot less stereotyping--It tends to make life go a little easier.

    I don't remember capitalizing the word "superior" in the post that you have quoted. Nevertheless, I would like to apologize to you. I should have realized that what I said could be offensive to some. Sometimes I forget that not everybody has the same sense of humor that I have. I will try to be more thoughtful with any other comments that I may post.

    Thank you. I did capitalize the word 'superior' to point out the lightning rod in your statement. I appreciate your open-minded response. :flowerforyou:
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    Uuuummm...don't you know that vegans are SUPERIOR to the rest of us, and we should all be aware of their veganism?

    You may be joking, but your basic premise here is judgmental towards people who identify with a vegan lifestyle. I've read this thread pretty thoroughly, and almost all of the self-identified vegans were sympathetic to the OP. Try a little more understanding, and a lot less stereotyping--It tends to make life go a little easier.

    I don't remember capitalizing the word "superior" in the post that you have quoted. Nevertheless, I would like to apologize to you. I should have realized that what I said could be offensive to some. Sometimes I forget that not everybody has the same sense of humor that I have. I will try to be more thoughtful with any other comments that I may post.

    Thank you. I did capitalize the word 'superior' to point out the lightning rod in your statement. I appreciate your open-minded response. :flowerforyou:

    Whoa, altering a quote is super uncool.
  • _VoV
    _VoV Posts: 1,494 Member
    Uuuummm...don't you know that vegans are SUPERIOR to the rest of us, and we should all be aware of their veganism?

    You may be joking, but your basic premise here is judgmental towards people who identify with a vegan lifestyle. I've read this thread pretty thoroughly, and almost all of the self-identified vegans were sympathetic to the OP. Try a little more understanding, and a lot less stereotyping--It tends to make life go a little easier.

    I don't remember capitalizing the word "superior" in the post that you have quoted. Nevertheless, I would like to apologize to you. I should have realized that what I said could be offensive to some. Sometimes I forget that not everybody has the same sense of humor that I have. I will try to be more thoughtful with any other comments that I may post.

    Thank you. I did capitalize the word 'superior' to point out the lightning rod in your statement. I appreciate your open-minded response. :flowerforyou:

    Whoa, altering a quote is super uncool.

    I apologize for that. I'm very primitive in my abilities to use this quoting feature here.
  • macpatti
    macpatti Posts: 4,280 Member
    I apologize for that. I'm very primitive in my abilities to use this quoting feature here.

    Obviously, because you just keep hitting "post reply" instead of just quoting the one you're replying to. I need to teach you my mad quoting skills! :wink:
  • Iceman1800
    Iceman1800 Posts: 476
    I don't really see it as rude - she said she doesn't eat meat, so no. Just stating facts, really.

    Edited to Add: I don't think you were being ignorant, but I also don't think her response was rude.
    I agree
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    [/quote]
    Whoa, altering a quote is super uncool.
    [/quote]

    I apologize for that. I'm very primitive in my abilities to use this quoting feature here.
    [/quote]

    Quoting abilities aside, it's really never ok to change somebody's words to help you make your point that doesn't matter if your are in a internet forum or real life. I'm not a jerk or a troll, but just be aware that if you do that in other threads it won't matter if you're ignorant of rules or not, people will not think twice to rip you to pieces.
  • postrockandcats
    postrockandcats Posts: 1,145 Member
    While the "uuuh" thing *can* come off as a little passive aggressive, try to look past that part as that seem to be the only potentially rude thing. Other than that, you suggested a dish with critter, they said they were critter free. Now you know. :)

Categories