Bachelor Party
Replies
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All of us just went out to the bar before we got married.
I don't like strip clubs. Nothing about them turns me on. I don't like slutty girls and its just an environment that is annoying to me. I know I am in the minority here, but oh well.
A lot of other guys are in that boat...contrary to popular opinion, not all men enjoy watching skanks take their clothes off...why watch that when you have a gorgeous woman at home that will do it for free?0 -
it's going to happen, might as well give him the green light and let him do it. During one of my friends bachelor party, his fiance at the time said "no strippers". Peer pressure, alcohol, and getting clowned on by his friends made it happen anyways. Now he has to lie about it for the rest of his life hoping she'll never find out.
It doesn't have to happen though. My wife didn't care if I went or not and my friends begged me to go. I didn't care to go so I didnt.0 -
Totally understand your feelings about it, but this is supposed to be sort of a celebration of the last of the "single" days so to speak, so if it were me, I would set those feelings aside for the bachelor party and tell him just to have a blast... whether that's just going and getting drunk or going to the strip club..0
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The commodification of human bodies is dehumanizing and offensive: let's face it--a patron is paying for a woman’s body--not for her personality, interests, desires, wit or any other trait which makes her an individual, but for her body, which he then symbolically owns and can do with whatever he wishes. That this dehumanization seems to be the prevailing argument in favour of stripclub attendence as healthy and harmless entertainment is super disheartening. Strippers are actual women who, in turn are actual people. Crazy, right?
The further idea that the sexual enjoyment of the degrading objectification of women is only natural (and, therefore, okay) is equally repugnant. It's not natural (no one is born lusting after spray tans and surgically enhanced secondary sexual characteristics--these attractions develop as a result of conditioning), and it's inherently wrong.
“Just because you get an erection when you see a woman being objectified onscreen doesn’t mean women deserve to be objectified.”
http://feministcurrent.com/4248/can-i-get-a-fk-you-why-erections-are-always-right-and-feminists-are-always-wrong/
Um then maybe you need to speak to the strippers themselves - because they are the ones oh yeah say ALLOWING the objectification because it is their J-O-B (and the one they CHOSE, no one put a gun to their head to make them do this as a living). Just saying... (turning sarcasm off now)0 -
In the end, it is the bachelor's party...my hubby had two and didn't see strippers at either.0
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So my man and I are getting married next June and the best man is already thinking about an awesome bachelor party... obviously the first thing that comes to my head is... strippers... I told my finace that I really do not want him to be going to a strip club. He respects me and he won't go to one but he wants to know why. Honestly, I know he wont be interested in them and will still love me
But I just don't like the fact that he will be starring at naked girls :ohwell:
What are your thoughts? Guys and Women!
Let him go have his fun0 -
My soon-to-be husband's bachelor party is tomorrow night, and honestly, I don't care what they're doing. I trust him. Let him ogle away, because all that really matters is I'm the one he's coming home to and marrying in a few weeks.
I did give him two rules:
1. Don't come home smelling like cheap stripper perfume
2. Don't come home covered in stripper body glitter
So, basically, take a shower before you walk in the door.0 -
The commodification of human bodies is dehumanizing and offensive: let's face it--a patron is paying for a woman’s body--not for her personality, interests, desires, wit or any other trait which makes her an individual, but for her body, which he then symbolically owns and can do with whatever he wishes. That this dehumanization seems to be the prevailing argument in favour of stripclub attendence as healthy and harmless entertainment is super disheartening. Strippers are actual women who, in turn are actual people. Crazy, right?
The further idea that the sexual enjoyment of the degrading objectification of women is only natural (and, therefore, okay) is equally repugnant. It's not natural (no one is born lusting after spray tans and surgically enhanced secondary sexual characteristics--these attractions develop as a result of conditioning), and it's inherently wrong.
“Just because you get an erection when you see a woman being objectified onscreen doesn’t mean women deserve to be objectified.”
http://feministcurrent.com/4248/can-i-get-a-fk-you-why-erections-are-always-right-and-feminists-are-always-wrong/
Um then maybe you need to speak to the strippers themselves - because they are the ones oh yeah say ALLOWING the objectification because it is their J-O-B (and the one they CHOSE, no one put a gun to their head to make them do this as a living). Just saying... (turning sarcasm off now)
And I am sure all of them do this because they love it...it is their life's ambition and they have no aspirations.0 -
The commodification of human bodies is dehumanizing and offensive: let's face it--a patron is paying for a woman’s body--not for her personality, interests, desires, wit or any other trait which makes her an individual, but for her body, which he then symbolically owns and can do with whatever he wishes. That this dehumanization seems to be the prevailing argument in favour of stripclub attendence as healthy and harmless entertainment is super disheartening. Strippers are actual women who, in turn are actual people. Crazy, right?
Isn't this how you meet a mate?..... Looks first and hope for them to not be a psycho?
Are you suggesting men generally go to strip clubs in search of a potential mate (in this instance, were that the case, the bride might have larger concerns)? In your own search, do you reduce prospects to one dimensional objects whom you pay to control by requiring they create the impression they are sexually available to you, no matter what they might want? Is that the power imbalance you're looking for in a romantic relationship?0 -
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The commodification of human bodies is dehumanizing and offensive: let's face it--a patron is paying for a woman’s body--not for her personality, interests, desires, wit or any other trait which makes her an individual, but for her body, which he then symbolically owns and can do with whatever he wishes. That this dehumanization seems to be the prevailing argument in favour of stripclub attendence as healthy and harmless entertainment is super disheartening. Strippers are actual women who, in turn are actual people. Crazy, right?
The further idea that the sexual enjoyment of the degrading objectification of women is only natural (and, therefore, okay) is equally repugnant. It's not natural (no one is born lusting after spray tans and surgically enhanced secondary sexual characteristics--these attractions develop as a result of conditioning), and it's inherently wrong.
“Just because you get an erection when you see a woman being objectified onscreen doesn’t mean women deserve to be objectified.”
http://feministcurrent.com/4248/can-i-get-a-fk-you-why-erections-are-always-right-and-feminists-are-always-wrong/
The women do choose to become strippers so I see no problem with it and we are born to lust but society status can change what we lust after so a man lusting over that tan and fake thing is natural when it comes right down to it since we are social creatures and our brain shapes to put us in the highest position within our societies. I do not think women should be objectified of course if they are not stripping (not giving the consent) and should be treated as professional equals in all they do.0 -
So my man and I are getting married next June and the best man is already thinking about an awesome bachelor party... obviously the first thing that comes to my head is... strippers... I told my finace that I really do not want him to be going to a strip club. He respects me and he won't go to one but he wants to know why. Honestly, I know he wont be interested in them and will still love me But I just don't like the fact that he will be starring at naked girls :ohwell:
What are your thoughts? Guys and Women!
Are you a fan of fifty shades of grey?
chick flicks?
you wouldnt go to chip n dales if your girlfriends dragged you?
A woman is not a book; a woman is not a dvd. These are things. Women (and men) are whole people.0 -
I would not allow any of that at my bachelor party (but my best man didn't even have to ask). Plenty of booze, dice, and money, but hanging around a bunch of dudes checking out naked chicks is frankly a bit creepy. My heart was already sold ... the idea of "this is your last chance" I never understood ... and on that note, I will not go to a bachelor party if there are strippers to begin with.
That goes with clubs in general though ... kissing my wife goodbye, saying "I love you", and then heading out with the guys to check out naked women doesn't exactly seem to make sense to me.
On a side note though, I've had to turn down very few bachelor parties due to that reason as most I know don't even go down that road anymore ...
I thought I was the only one out there haha. This makes me feel sort of normal now I'm glad there are guys like this other than me. 0 -
I'm totally okay with strip clubs. Having strippers come to a party at a private home or hotel room?... that I'm not so sure about. I've heard stories about strippers who go above and beyond what they're there to do. Maybe we just have extra skanky strippers in my area, I don't know.
so what area exactly is this???0 -
let him stare at naked girls. if he plays with one, hey. dump him now. t's cheaper and easier than divorce.
if he doesn't, marry that dude with pride. you'll know you found a good one.0 -
When I was engaged, I didn't want my then fiance to have a bachelor party at a strip club, and he said he wouldn't. I found out a few years later that he actually DID go. Whether he did it out of fear of pissing me off, or just out of spite (looking back, the latter is probably true), but it made me sort of biased against the whole deal.
Basically, if you wouldn't do it if your significant other were in the same room, it's at best not a good idea, and at worst, it's just this side of cheating.0 -
Strippers do much more than just take their clothes off. One I went to, all my friends threw up 20 bucks each and begged the husband to be to get blown in the back room, which he did. When he is that hammered and when you have 10 guys egging you on, its hard to say no. I was one of the only guys who pretty much walked away from it.0
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The commodification of human bodies is dehumanizing and offensive: let's face it--a patron is paying for a woman’s body--not for her personality, interests, desires, wit or any other trait which makes her an individual, but for her body, which he then symbolically owns and can do with whatever he wishes. That this dehumanization seems to be the prevailing argument in favour of stripclub attendence as healthy and harmless entertainment is super disheartening. Strippers are actual women who, in turn are actual people. Crazy, right?
The further idea that the sexual enjoyment of the degrading objectification of women is only natural (and, therefore, okay) is equally repugnant. It's not natural (no one is born lusting after spray tans and surgically enhanced secondary sexual characteristics--these attractions develop as a result of conditioning), and it's inherently wrong.
“Just because you get an erection when you see a woman being objectified onscreen doesn’t mean women deserve to be objectified.”
http://feministcurrent.com/4248/can-i-get-a-fk-you-why-erections-are-always-right-and-feminists-are-always-wrong/
The women do choose to become strippers so I see no problem with it and we are born to lust but society status can change what we lust after so a man lusting over that tan and fake thing is natural when it comes right down to it since we are social creatures and our brain shapes to put us in the highest position within our societies. I do not think women should be objectified of course if they are not stripping (not giving the consent) and should be treated as professional equals in all they do.
Women should be allowed to do whatever they like with their bodies. My point is that strip clubs as a construct are objectionable: they exist to provide a venue in which patrons are free to be sexist and to objectify women/men and to feel okay about those behaviours. It's about bodies, sure, but it's also about power and dominance, which is not cool.
I agree with you that we are societal creatures but have already stated that nurture does not equal nature, and neither of those things are automatically healthy or positive. I also disagree with the notion that, simply because something is available to you, and you want it, doesn't make it healthy or positive. I read a lot about personal accountability on these forums, and see a lot of posts by people who are learning to expect more from themselves and are not resigned to accepting the way things are as they way things should be. I think those concepts are applicable to subjects other than food.0 -
All of us just went out to the bar before we got married.
I don't like strip clubs. Nothing about them turns me on. I don't like slutty girls and its just an environment that is annoying to me. I know I am in the minority here, but oh well.
A lot of other guys are in that boat...contrary to popular opinion, not all men enjoy watching skanks take their clothes off...why watch that when you have a gorgeous woman at home that will do it for free?
For your information not all women who are dancers are "skanks", that's like characterizing all doctors as "smart"....these dancers, me being an ex-dancer, have families, have children, have mothers, fathers, brothers, and sisters...and there are very classy adult entertainment establishments out there. There are also many men that come to the clubs because the "gorgeous woman" that he married is no longer the same woman..no longer wants to participate in being intimate with him like she used to..no longer dresses sexy for her husband..."I'm tired" "I don't feel like it" "I'm not in the mood tonight"...etc
What it boils down to is a fantasy....the men know their not leaving with the dancers, and "us" dancers sure as heck do not want to leave with your SO...
And there are a lot of men that do come into the club with their wives and girlfriends, and they enjoy it just as much as the men do, if not more :drinker:0 -
I'm totally okay with strip clubs. Having strippers come to a party at a private home or hotel room?... that I'm not so sure about. I've heard stories about strippers who go above and beyond what they're there to do. Maybe we just have extra skanky strippers in my area, I don't know.
so what area exactly is this???
Lol :laugh:0 -
If they are beautiful and can't dance or entertain, they won't be making much money. To be a stripper you have to have more than a killer body.
I see no problem with it. Is porn and playboy off the list of things he can see? I see a strip club pretty much the same. It's not like he's allowed to touch them. (in 90% of establishments)0 -
All of us just went out to the bar before we got married.
I don't like strip clubs. Nothing about them turns me on. I don't like slutty girls and its just an environment that is annoying to me. I know I am in the minority here, but oh well.
A lot of other guys are in that boat...contrary to popular opinion, not all men enjoy watching skanks take their clothes off...why watch that when you have a gorgeous woman at home that will do it for free?
For your information not all women who are dancers are "skanks", that's like characterizing all doctors as "smart"....these dancers, me being an ex-dancer, have families, have children, have mothers, fathers, brothers, and sisters...and there are very classy adult entertainment establishments out there. There are also many men that come to the clubs because the "gorgeous woman" that he married is no longer the same woman..no longer wants to participate in being intimate with him like she used to..no longer dresses sexy for her husband..."I'm tired" "I don't feel like it" "I'm not in the mood tonight"...etc
What it boils down to is a fantasy....the men know their not leaving with the dancers, and "us" dancers sure as heck do not want to leave with your SO...
And there are a lot of men that do come into the club with their wives and girlfriends, and they enjoy it just as much as the men do, if not more :drinker:
Sorry but I don't think there is anything classy about stripping.0 -
All of us just went out to the bar before we got married.
I don't like strip clubs. Nothing about them turns me on. I don't like slutty girls and its just an environment that is annoying to me. I know I am in the minority here, but oh well.
A lot of other guys are in that boat...contrary to popular opinion, not all men enjoy watching skanks take their clothes off...why watch that when you have a gorgeous woman at home that will do it for free?
For your information not all women who are dancers are "skanks", that's like characterizing all doctors as "smart"....these dancers, me being an ex-dancer, have families, have children, have mothers, fathers, brothers, and sisters...and there are very classy adult entertainment establishments out there. There are also many men that come to the clubs because the "gorgeous woman" that he married is no longer the same woman..no longer wants to participate in being intimate with him like she used to..no longer dresses sexy for her husband..."I'm tired" "I don't feel like it" "I'm not in the mood tonight"...etc
What it boils down to is a fantasy....the men know their not leaving with the dancers, and "us" dancers sure as heck do not want to leave with your SO...
And there are a lot of men that do come into the club with their wives and girlfriends, and they enjoy it just as much as the men do, if not more :drinker:
Yup, not all dancers are skanks. And what you can get at home "for free" Usually isn't as sexy or coordinated. It takes a LOT of strength and endurance to dance like that. This isn't a ballet that is scripted. This isn't the club dance floor. Your are dancing and entertaining a different set of clients every time you're there with what ever music the DJ decides what to throw your way.
Most dancers are college students or single mom trying to get by.0 -
All of us just went out to the bar before we got married.
I don't like strip clubs. Nothing about them turns me on. I don't like slutty girls and its just an environment that is annoying to me. I know I am in the minority here, but oh well.
A lot of other guys are in that boat...contrary to popular opinion, not all men enjoy watching skanks take their clothes off...why watch that when you have a gorgeous woman at home that will do it for free?
For your information not all women who are dancers are "skanks", that's like characterizing all doctors as "smart"....these dancers, me being an ex-dancer, have families, have children, have mothers, fathers, brothers, and sisters...and there are very classy adult entertainment establishments out there. There are also many men that come to the clubs because the "gorgeous woman" that he married is no longer the same woman..no longer wants to participate in being intimate with him like she used to..no longer dresses sexy for her husband..."I'm tired" "I don't feel like it" "I'm not in the mood tonight"...etc
What it boils down to is a fantasy....the men know their not leaving with the dancers, and "us" dancers sure as heck do not want to leave with your SO...
And there are a lot of men that do come into the club with their wives and girlfriends, and they enjoy it just as much as the men do, if not more :drinker:
*shrug* I do be live that is my opinion. No need to elaborate. If it is an unhappy marriage I think there are likely more problems than strippers, but I digress. Starting off a marriage by deliberately hurting your future spouse just seems unwise. Like I said, my opinion.0 -
All of us just went out to the bar before we got married.
I don't like strip clubs. Nothing about them turns me on. I don't like slutty girls and its just an environment that is annoying to me. I know I am in the minority here, but oh well.
A lot of other guys are in that boat...contrary to popular opinion, not all men enjoy watching skanks take their clothes off...why watch that when you have a gorgeous woman at home that will do it for free?
For your information not all women who are dancers are "skanks", that's like characterizing all doctors as "smart"....these dancers, me being an ex-dancer, have families, have children, have mothers, fathers, brothers, and sisters...and there are very classy adult entertainment establishments out there. There are also many men that come to the clubs because the "gorgeous woman" that he married is no longer the same woman..no longer wants to participate in being intimate with him like she used to..no longer dresses sexy for her husband..."I'm tired" "I don't feel like it" "I'm not in the mood tonight"...etc
What it boils down to is a fantasy....the men know their not leaving with the dancers, and "us" dancers sure as heck do not want to leave with your SO...
And there are a lot of men that do come into the club with their wives and girlfriends, and they enjoy it just as much as the men do, if not more :drinker:
Yup, not all dancers are skanks. And what you can get at home "for free" Usually isn't as sexy or coordinated. It takes a LOT of strength and endurance to dance like that. This isn't a ballet that is scripted. This isn't the club dance floor. Your are dancing and entertaining a different set of clients every time you're there with what ever music the DJ decides what to throw your way.
Most dancers are college students or single mom trying to get by.
Perhaps, but you then get to sleep with that uncoordinated person...and is it really worth it to hurt the other person that you will be sleeping with until death (or more likely divorce, statistically speaking) separates you ? All for the sake of a couple hours of entertainment?0 -
All of us just went out to the bar before we got married.
I don't like strip clubs. Nothing about them turns me on. I don't like slutty girls and its just an environment that is annoying to me. I know I am in the minority here, but oh well.
A lot of other guys are in that boat...contrary to popular opinion, not all men enjoy watching skanks take their clothes off...why watch that when you have a gorgeous woman at home that will do it for free?
For your information not all women who are dancers are "skanks", that's like characterizing all doctors as "smart"....these dancers, me being an ex-dancer, have families, have children, have mothers, fathers, brothers, and sisters...and there are very classy adult entertainment establishments out there. There are also many men that come to the clubs because the "gorgeous woman" that he married is no longer the same woman..no longer wants to participate in being intimate with him like she used to..no longer dresses sexy for her husband..."I'm tired" "I don't feel like it" "I'm not in the mood tonight"...etc
What it boils down to is a fantasy....the men know their not leaving with the dancers, and "us" dancers sure as heck do not want to leave with your SO...
And there are a lot of men that do come into the club with their wives and girlfriends, and they enjoy it just as much as the men do, if not more :drinker:
Yup, not all dancers are skanks. And what you can get at home "for free" Usually isn't as sexy or coordinated. It takes a LOT of strength and endurance to dance like that. This isn't a ballet that is scripted. This isn't the club dance floor. Your are dancing and entertaining a different set of clients every time you're there with what ever music the DJ decides what to throw your way.
Most dancers are college students or single mom trying to get by.
I agree, and some spouses don't want to see their spouse trying to move or dance like a stripper just for that reason, it comes off weird and funny instead of sexy.0 -
I'll paraphrase Dan Savage here, because I think it applies: "If you ask your boyfriend or husband if he looks at porn and he tells you he doesn't, he is lying so that he doesn't hurt your feelings. If you don't want to be disappointed or upset, BELIEVE HIM. Almost all males look at porn. That doesn't mean they're all going to cheat on you; most men don't. But almost EVERY GUY looks at porn."
The irony is that I see women complaining about their husbands/boyfriends looking at porn or going to a strip club, and then they hop off the computer and go open their copy of Fifty Shades of Grey... Women tend to prefer porn in the written form, whereas guys prefer visuals. But it's all porn, folks.
Your fiance is probably going to go watch some naked girls, and maybe get a lap dance or two. But it's incredibly unlikely that he's going to get laid or blown by a stripper. It's less common than urban legends would have you believe. To quote the wise words of the Chris Rock song, "There is no sex in the Champagne Room. NONE."
http://youtu.be/j9yBPcn8IqU
My advice is to let him go to the strip club, and to do so with your blessing. If you tell him not to, he'll either skip it and resent you for being a killjoy, or he'll go anyway and just tell you what you want to hear. Same thing applies to porn. If you prohibit it he'll just look at it behind your back and feel resentful about it, whereas if you say "Go for it, just save some lovin' for me!" he'll think you're the best wife ever and brag to his friends about you. And in neither case will you saying "yes" or "no" make it more or less likely that he'll actually cheat on you with someone. If anything, being an cool, understanding wife about porn may have him feeling pretty damn good about the relationship.
Of course it goes without saying that getting in shape, putting on some shiny lipstick and giving him a private lap dance at home will remind him that if he ever thinks about having a tawdry one-night stand with some hot stripper, he can call ahead and do that at home with you.
Good luck, and have a great wedding!0 -
Do you trust him? Has he ever given you reason to doubt his trust? Id say let him go but talk to HIM not us!!0
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All of us just went out to the bar before we got married.
I don't like strip clubs. Nothing about them turns me on. I don't like slutty girls and its just an environment that is annoying to me. I know I am in the minority here, but oh well.
A lot of other guys are in that boat...contrary to popular opinion, not all men enjoy watching skanks take their clothes off...why watch that when you have a gorgeous woman at home that will do it for free?
For your information not all women who are dancers are "skanks", that's like characterizing all doctors as "smart"....these dancers, me being an ex-dancer, have families, have children, have mothers, fathers, brothers, and sisters...and there are very classy adult entertainment establishments out there. There are also many men that come to the clubs because the "gorgeous woman" that he married is no longer the same woman..no longer wants to participate in being intimate with him like she used to..no longer dresses sexy for her husband..."I'm tired" "I don't feel like it" "I'm not in the mood tonight"...etc
What it boils down to is a fantasy....the men know their not leaving with the dancers, and "us" dancers sure as heck do not want to leave with your SO...
And there are a lot of men that do come into the club with their wives and girlfriends, and they enjoy it just as much as the men do, if not more :drinker:
Yup, not all dancers are skanks. And what you can get at home "for free" Usually isn't as sexy or coordinated. It takes a LOT of strength and endurance to dance like that. This isn't a ballet that is scripted. This isn't the club dance floor. Your are dancing and entertaining a different set of clients every time you're there with what ever music the DJ decides what to throw your way.
Most dancers are college students or single mom trying to get by.
Perhaps, but you then get to sleep with that uncoordinated person...and is it really worth it to hurt the other person that you will be sleeping with until death (or more likely divorce, statistically speaking) separates you ? All for the sake of a couple hours of entertainment?
Huh? Where did you get this leap? Can you point out where I said people should go to a strip club regardless of what your SO feels.
To categorically say all strippers are skanks, or slutty is quite wrong. You guys know they keep their panties on, right?0
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