MFP and disturbing posts
Replies
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100% agree... I message people privately when I see this and on the other end , bad food choices.
I try to give positive feedback on eating and losing properly. Explaining why you can not starve your body.
Its sad that there are those who push undereating as a weight loss plan. Sad and unhealthy
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I don't understand this. I was anorexic, but I would have been "padding" my diary with calories to make people think I HAD eaten. It was a bad thing that I wasn't, I hid that fact as much as possible. The breed that tends to display the fact that they are eating nothing seems like a totally different, attention seeking breed to me... and I just don't even know what to think of it, honestly.0
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Great post & I couldn't agree more...unfortunately "healthy" is a relative term. There is too much conflicting information out there for the good information to be heard clearly. It's hard not to let it get to you & you should help out the newbies as much as is comfortable for you, but at some point you do have to let go & trust that the folks seeking advice are smart enough to distinguish between the commenters who know what they're talking about & those who don't. I also assume the really smart people will take any information they get here with a grain of salt & research reputable sources to find out more.
I don't think there's anything wrong with hiding your food diary if keeping it open makes you feel susceptible to judgment. Everyone should do what makes them feel good about the choices they make regarding their health. I have, however, unfriended people with a pattern of disordered eating & negative self-image after having tried to constructively help them out via PM. It's not personal, it just doesn't help me to see that stuff in my news feed & I'm entitled to create the type of supportive environment here I feel is appropriate for me.
I get frustrated with it sometimes too...not my friends, but with the topics some of them post on occasionally. Some days I kind of wish there was a way to disable notifications for comments on forum posts in my feed, but what can you do.0 -
I have gotten frustrated with multiple friend requests from people and instead of support all the talk is about 150-500 calorie diets, ruining meals so you won't want to eat, etc. and all this terrible, obviously anorexic behavior.0
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My doctor has me eating 6 small meals a day and a couple snacks if I am hungry. I eat between 1300 and 1600 cal per day and thats plenty for me. Perhaps some of these people are on similar restrictions. Some I am sure are just eating unhealthy but I don't get angry and delete them. We cannot police the world on eating right or wrong but we can be more understanding and simply point out that it is always better to eat healthy.0
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I don't understand this. I was anorexic, but I would have been "padding" my diary with calories to make people think I HAD eaten. It was a bad thing that I wasn't, I hid that fact as much as possible. The breed that tends to display the fact that they are eating nothing seems like a totally different, attention seeking breed to me... and I just don't even know what to think of it, honestly.
Yeah, that's so true. I don't understand this behavior at all. If they are not here to get help and get better, why are they doing this here.
I don't consider myself to have had an eating disorder because it was never a long term disorder for me, but I had food issues when I was growing up and I stopped eating at one point, my weight dropped below 90 pounds and I experienced the symptoms of malnutrition. It was a horrendous experience and I chose on my own to eat again and to get well. That was when I realized the importance of health and being nourished and I made health a lifelong priority. But, when I was struggling with it I tried to keep it as secret as I possibly could. That was all before I was full grown, before I was an adult. Back then our judgement centers in our brains are not fully developed, so I consider that to have been poor judgement (it was a mistake). Even now, I very rarely even talk about it. It is difficult to see these girls open and aware of what they are doing and not seeking help. For me it was very brief, and when I experienced the very real consequences of malnutrition I got help right away, no one had to make me get help. I never wanted to go through that ever again.0 -
Maybe this would be a course of action that you could decide to take, should you feel strongly enough about it?
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3. No Promotion of Unsafe Weight-Loss Techniques or Eating Disorders
a) Posts intended to promote potentially unsafe or controversial weight loss products or procedures, including non-medically prescribed supplements or MLM products will be removed without warning.
b) Profiles, groups, messages, posts, or wall comments that encourage anorexia, bulimia, or very low calorie diets of any kind will be removed, and may be grounds for account deletion. This includes positive references to ana/mia, purging, or self-starving. Our goal is to provide users with the tools to achieve their weight management goals at a steady, sustainable rate. Use of the site to promote or glamorize dangerously low levels of eating is not permitted.
c) Photos intended to glamorize extreme thinness will be deleted.
d) Those seeking support in their recovery from eating disorders are welcome at MyFitnessPal.
Full Details are here http://www.myfitnesspal.com/welcome/guidelines0 -
Thank you for posting this! I posted the same thing and got A LOT of hate back for it. I'm really glad to see someone sees my frustrations in the same light. And I know you're not trying to be mean or discriminatory!0
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I have a couple of friends who don't have open diaries and consistently come under calories. Since I can't see how far under they are or what they're eating, I just don't comment. I refuse to give a "wtg" or "great job," if I can't justify it.0
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I'm hoping to find some common ground with POSITIVE people by posting this. And I'm going to say right now that I have nothing against those with an ED being on this site, seeing as I have struggled with one before as well.
MFP is here to help those wanting to get healthy and lose weight the right way. I am finding it appalling to see so many people losing weight in an unhealthy manner and having people congratulate them. I have had to "unfriend" several members due to the fact that they posted about being "fat" constantly (when they had about 5lbs to lose each). They also posted unhealthy "tips" to lose weight and would stay at about half of their 1,200 calorie a day limit. I understand we are all different, we all lose weight and exercise in different ways and we sure all have different views on food. I don't however think it's appropriate to tell someone "good job" after eating 300 calories for the day after burning 1,000. What happened to positive criticism and support? It is not healthy to eat that little and exercise that much! Good for you if you were under your calories, however don't congratulate someone for not eating that day. It's condoning ED's and again, appalling, especially for those recovering. I am seeking POSITIVE friends and could certainly offer much support, I will not however, tolerate any sort of ED behavior. If you are recovering, such as I am....GOOD FOR YOU! If you are seeking approval for your unhealthy habits and are not looking to improve your life and unhappy habits...well, they instead of posting on MFP you should seek professional, nutritional help.
End of rant! I'm sure I can't be the only one who is feeling this frustration...
And btw I'd love to add some new friends who i can support and who can support me on this positive life change
bump! wow.. yeah I hear ya... not healthy at all.. sure starve your body and hope your kidneys dont fail! hello?!?!!? its like this is our life/bodies and health.. not a joke.. or something.. almost ya know ? yeah i have friends on here
that I have things in common with and similar ish wt loss goals and all that.... its ok that you had to delete some peeps...no worries there.. you dont need to hear negative weird ish stuff... i hear ya... i coudnt hang with that.. already bugs me to see peeps eating under there calorie goal intake when there only at 1200 a day as is! and or if they earn like 500 dang cals w/exercise and eat NONE back... and im like hello your "net" is only like 900 or less... not healthy .. starving ur body/storing fat and delays longer term wt loss.. only peeps eating that little shld be status post gastric bpyass and its cuz there dang stomach is the size of 6 grapes!0 -
Double post0
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Wow - judgmental much? Personally I try to encourage people to eat well and be healthy. I don't judge them for eating too little, or judge them for eating too much and making themselves obese in the first place.
If something doesn't appeal to me whether it's a post, a personal diary, or whatever, I just move on. Life's too short to worry about what everyone else is doing and whether it is "good" for them or not.
This.
I have a variety of people and intakes on my friends list and I am there to support them all - and before you ask, NO I don't actively support the fact they're starving themselves, I mean I'm there if they need to chat. I don't shut ANYONE out - I'd be devastated if people did that to me.0 -
I think a lot of people don't actually look at the food diary so when they see "completed food diary and was under calorie goal" they just post "awesome!" regardless of what someone ate for the day.
I also think this is true.
This is true for me.... I don't have time to look at everyone's diary! but when I have most people are eating well. Haven't really came across this problem, but deleting yourself isn't really going to help them. maybe staying their friend and they see your losing weight while eating is a solution. but having had a previous disorder you might be able to get through to them. i wouldn't even know about that! I love to eat and maybe there are tips out there, such as drinking green tea. I wouldn't really discourage it. Im into low carb dieting, so it kinda helps to share our journeys! Those secrets can help people with cravings, or sweet tooth, or substituting foods. We may not always agree, but let people post what they want! I find it makes this interesting way to learn!0 -
Exactly. MFP is designed to help you log your food (min 1200 cals a day) and help you change your lifestyle whilst losing weight slowly.
Well said!0 -
i totally agree too, rome wasnt built in a day and i can not lose what i need to lose in a day.
i want my hair and skin to be glowing, i want to turn heads and i will only achieve that with a healthy plan
xxxxx0 -
Slow and steady wins the race
I have to keep remembering this. This is the only way it is going to work and last for me, so I'm anticipating a year to lose my weight. But my goal is health, not the lowest possible number on the scales!0 -
I saw on the news that was talking about there being entire online communities that encourage EDs. These sites are populated mostly by teenage girls. The news report said that the people on those websites would share tips on how to be more successful in maintaining unhealthy diets.0
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Thanks for the post. I'm new to MFP (just two days!) and it never crossed my mind that this issue would come up. Now I can be aware of it. Thanks again and good luck to you!!0
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I think a lot of people don't actually look at the food diary so when they see "completed food diary and was under calorie goal" they just post "awesome!" regardless of what someone ate for the day.
I suspect that this is true for 99% of the "awesome!"s that are posted.
I've lowered my number of friends so that I can actually comment constructively to them and no longer do this myself.
I can be a better supporter of 30 people than I can to 60.0 -
I think you spoke most intelligently and used your words to put across to others how important it is. My eating disorder was using food as a crutch. I realize now that I hid behind my weight in fear. I was never accepted by a lot of people, but I learned that you must lose weight correctly and do what is right. I believe I could be your friend and I would love for us to be support for each other. My name is Susan. I was 269 lbs and I am now 223. 4 lbs. I always eat my calories unless I am feeling ill. I am on lots of meds which I hope to get off of. I want this very badly for myself, but not enough to do something harmful. I have lost 45.6 lbs since March of this year. I think it is steady and healthy. I hope you will be my friend.
Susan 0 -
I think a lot of people don't actually look at the food diary so when they see "completed food diary and was under calorie goal" they just post "awesome!" regardless of what someone ate for the day.
I suspect that this is true for 99% of the "awesome!"s that are posted.
I've lowered my number of friends so that I can actually comment constructively to them and no longer do this myself.
I can be a better supporter of 30 people than I can to 60.
It doesn't help that the iPhone app is still broken preventing people from seeing food diary details if the meal names have been changed.0 -
That's fine if 100% of your deficit is coming from calorie restriction. However, if you are engaging in exercise on top of eating 500 calories less, then you need to add that to your deficit.Personal Weight Loss Arithmetic
I have been eating 1200 calories per day (often less, seldom more) for 140 days. I can’t exercise for physical reasons.
I’ve lost 13 pounds, which averages out to a loss of one pound per 10.77 days.
As we all know, one pound equals 3500 calories.
3500 calories divided by 10.77 days = a 325 calorie deficit per day.
If I add the 325-calorie deficit to the 1200 calories I’m consuming it equals 1525 calories.
Evidently, I need 1525 calories per day for maintenance of my current weight, which is 40 pounds overweight.
Conclusion: if I want to lose one pound a week -- which requires a 500-calorie per day deficit -- I need to limit my intake to 1025 calories per day.0 -
^^This^^I don't understand this. I was anorexic, but I would have been "padding" my diary with calories to make people think I HAD eaten. It was a bad thing that I wasn't, I hid that fact as much as possible. The breed that tends to display the fact that they are eating nothing seems like a totally different, attention seeking breed to me... and I just don't even know what to think of it, honestly.
I keep my diary locked because I am so ashamed of what I eat and the quantities. I spoke about this on another post yesterday but, from my experience, most people who are "pro ana" are NOT anorexic, and most people who are actually anorexic are appalled by the "pro ana" culture. I can't understand why anybody who is anorexic would need encouragement to starve - that's as crazy as an alcoholic needing help and encouragement to drink! Starving myself is the easy bit - eating is the challenge.
I was/am anorexic. I believed, up until last Thursday, that I was 100% recovered. My husband and work colleagues kept commenting on how thin I'd become lately and begged me to eat more. I didn't trust them though - my disease told me that they were lying, begging me to eat as a preventative measure: so I wouldn't *eventually* become too thin. I honestly believed I looked fine. I could see bones sticking out but I could also 'see' that my legs and stomach were too fat (in my head anyway).
Last Thursday, after toying with the idea for a few weeks, I plucked up the courage to post some pictures here to get some objective opinions and I was shocked by the response. I have since had the moderators remove the post (thank you guys!) but there were 11 pages - about 275 posts - of people telling me that I was "sickly", "way too thin" etc., etc. I figure that 200+ people cannot be lying to me so I started to accept last Thursday that I have in fact relapsed and need to do something about it.
It was MFP that made me see this. Had I not put those pics up, I'd still be sitting here thinking, "nah, I'm fine". I've suffered with anorexia for 20+ years and I am not sure I would survive another round with this monster (my heart, bones, kidneys, digestive system have all been affected).
I would like to say thank you to MFP for this and especially those who've been a massive source of support to me since Thursday. So before y'all write off ED sufferers from the site, please be aware that it can do so much to help us - provided it's used in the right way. I think those who claim to be eating 300 kcals and encouraging others to do so should be automatically banned, or 3 strikes and you're out. I would never, ever want anyone to go through this nightmare.0 -
I deleted several friends due to their pro-ana ways. I just cannot support that. I felt it was best to part ways.0
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@Tag9 -- My personal observation in the 9 months I've been active is that when I drop below 1,200 calories for a week or more (I use weekly averages), it tends to send me into a stall that lasts 3-4 weeks. When I eat 1,150-1,300 calories reliably, the weight keeps coming off @ 1.5 lbs/week.
So there may need to be an asterisk in that math calculation... ;c)0 -
i feel the same way. i either comment and make sure they know the dangers of eating so low, or i delete them if it's a constant thing or "pro-ana".
MFP is not a place for eating disorders , i came on here to inspire me to eat MORE, i see people eating 2000 calories and doing great and it reminds me daily that hey, its okay to eat, i'll be fine.
seems like there are too many teenagers coming on here hoping for people to give them the "secret" to losing weight and when they realize there isnt one, they cut their calories below 1000 and exercise like crazy. i'm so sick of it! it's very triggering for someone who's recovering.0 -
Slow and steady wins the race
....and you stay a winner after the race has finished...0 -
You have to remember that (most) didn't choose this, it's a mental disorder for the ones being so insinsitve. I agree with the saying "good job" when a person "fast" aka starves themselves and burns 1000 is supporting slow suicide. Unfortantly, I have been exposed to this community where I thought people saying "great job" meant I was doing great and I got lower and lower to the point where I was eating 50 calories a day and burning 500+. The site made my eating disorder worse in a way. I am now recovering though eating 1000+ calories a day and happier! Im so glad I got out of this cycle. I also find it very triggering when I see girls asking for tips and people actually giving them tips telling them to eat 500 calories a day. I hate pro anorexia0
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I'm hoping to find some common ground with POSITIVE people by posting this. And I'm going to say right now that I have nothing against those with an ED being on this site, seeing as I have struggled with one before as well.
MFP is here to help those wanting to get healthy and lose weight the right way. I am finding it appalling to see so many people losing weight in an unhealthy manner and having people congratulate them. I have had to "unfriend" several members due to the fact that they posted about being "fat" constantly (when they had about 5lbs to lose each). They also posted unhealthy "tips" to lose weight and would stay at about half of their 1,200 calorie a day limit. I understand we are all different, we all lose weight and exercise in different ways and we sure all have different views on food. I don't however think it's appropriate to tell someone "good job" after eating 300 calories for the day after burning 1,000. What happened to positive criticism and support? It is not healthy to eat that little and exercise that much! Good for you if you were under your calories, however don't congratulate someone for not eating that day. It's condoning ED's and again, appalling, especially for those recovering. I am seeking POSITIVE friends and could certainly offer much support, I will not however, tolerate any sort of ED behavior. If you are recovering, such as I am....GOOD FOR YOU! If you are seeking approval for your unhealthy habits and are not looking to improve your life and unhappy habits...well, they instead of posting on MFP you should seek professional, nutritional help.
End of rant! I'm sure I can't be the only one who is feeling this frustration...
And btw I'd love to add some new friends who i can support and who can support me on this positive life change
Very well said. As a person who dealt with an ED for over 15 years and am still prone to the urges, I commend you for posting this. I don't want to be encouraged for doing what I know is unhealthy. Thanks!0 -
I congratulate those people when they have a good/healthy eating day. I will compliment their food choices on those days (well, as long as it wasn't double bacon cheeseburgers) and tell them how great they are doing.
Whats wrong with bacon double cheeseburgers?0
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