MFP and disturbing posts

124

Replies

  • M08distel
    M08distel Posts: 16 Member
    I try to stay below my caloric goal for each day simply because I have had a gastric bypass and really cannot eat as much as the site suggests. I do try to stay at least 1000 calories a day, but sometimes for me that is pushing it. Then occasionally, I do go over but it isn't about quantity of food just calories. Still a work in progress. I have never had an ED unless overeating is considered one.
  • LyssaJ1
    LyssaJ1 Posts: 240 Member
    Slow and steady wins the race ;)

    ....and you stay a winner after the race has finished...

    ^^ This is why I will continue to be active on MFP even after I reach my goal weight, to keep me on the right track :smile:
  • Caz104
    Caz104 Posts: 62 Member
    I'm VERY new to this site but appreciate your post.

    Earlier this morning I was browsing through some posts and I saw one from a young girl who, to me, looked perfect before she lost weight. She posted a photo of her after she had lost weight and looked incredibly unhealthy. I believe her boyfriend was a huge factor in her loosing the weight.

    I am all about getting tips and advice for eating healthier and staying (reasonably) below my calories for the day but for those with an ED this is not the forum they need.

    Welcoming any friend requests since I have none yet!

    :)
  • I tend not to add people without EDs/people who are recovering for this very reason - I am not recovered and wouldn't want to trigger anyone who is trying to recover. But the ED community on here is supportive, telling others with a low intake or too much exercise or purging behaviors to "stay safe," which to us means, "I know I can't stop you from doing what you want, even though I wish I could, but please be as healthy as possible." That's at the very least. No one that I have encountered tells anyone else anything particularly unhealthy. There are a few here and there, but typically they're thought of as drama queens and wanarexics. It's all about finding people who understand. EDs are very lonely.

    And I'm sure that no one with an ED is "misinformed" about health and weight loss. I certainly know that what I have done to my body in the past (and still do to a lesser extent) is NOT healthy. I don't think any of us are that delusional.

    All in all, it's not about "condoning" someone's behavior. I've found myself improving in terms of healthy behaviors since joining this site. But it's slow going. Definitely not something anyone can just "snap out" of.

    What does make me sad is the really young girls with EDs who lied about their age to sign up. I've seen more than a few girls get removed for their age, and I worry for them. They should be enjoying life, not trying to commit a slow suicide.




    I can't agree more. Very well put. People with eating disorders most often are not mis informed, we study this like our life depends on it. It's an addiction, something that I for one no longer want to participate in but you're right, it's a slow and gruelling process to drag yourself back out of those very dark waters.
  • jjscholar
    jjscholar Posts: 413 Member
    Whats wrong with bacon double cheeseburgers?
    [/quote]

    They are as addictive as crack cocaine... Eating red meat is far more dangerous than even anorexia...

    I do not believe in becoming too thin... But, on the other hand eating red meat is never healthy...
  • tobnrn
    tobnrn Posts: 477 Member
    Whats wrong with bacon double cheeseburgers?

    They are as addictive as crack cocaine... Eating red meat is far more dangerous than even anorexia...

    I do not believe in becoming too thin... But, on the other hand eating red meat is never healthy...
    [/quote]

    Really?? What are your sources??
  • skonly
    skonly Posts: 371
    Whats wrong with bacon double cheeseburgers?

    They are as addictive as crack cocaine... Eating red meat is far more dangerous than even anorexia...

    I do not believe in becoming too thin... But, on the other hand eating red meat is never healthy...
    [/quote]

    I had to cut red meat out. I started getting sick from it.

    A lot of people have jumped all over me based on my calories and then shut up pretty quick when they saw how much I was actually eating. Sometimes it helps to learn a few facts before assuming something. I do see a lot of pics on here of young girls that look sick. Some are working at trying to eat more and in recovery. I try not to judge too much. If a person is all over the place looking for tips and tricks to avoid calories then I see a problem. But I don't jump to conclusions. I just added a person with a rare disease who is trying to start eating more and just got out of the hospital. It's a shame she was jumped on by people who looked at her diary and didn't bother to read her profile or simply ask if she was okay.

    I judge people by their responses. Anyone who says....YOU ARE STUPID to another is someone I will now block. If you have to use all caps and say stuff like that then maybe you need an anger management forum to hang out in.

    People respond to kindness and gentle words better than name calling.
  • jlgarcia85631
    jlgarcia85631 Posts: 57 Member
    feel the same way.
  • camelothosting
    camelothosting Posts: 60 Member
    Whats wrong with bacon double cheeseburgers?

    They are as addictive as crack cocaine... Eating red meat is far more dangerous than even anorexia...

    I do not believe in becoming too thin... But, on the other hand eating red meat is never healthy...
    [/quote]
    You may want to do some more research, LEAN red meat isnt as unhealthy as you imply,
    BEEF Jerky is a healthy snack ( Home Made Low Sodium Jerky that is )
  • hillm12345
    hillm12345 Posts: 313 Member
    I'm VERY new to this site but appreciate your post.

    Earlier this morning I was browsing through some posts and I saw one from a young girl who, to me, looked perfect before she lost weight. She posted a photo of her after she had lost weight and looked incredibly unhealthy. I believe her boyfriend was a huge factor in her loosing the weight.

    I am all about getting tips and advice for eating healthier and staying (reasonably) below my calories for the day but for those with an ED this is not the forum they need.

    Welcoming any friend requests since I have none yet!

    :)

    I too saw that same post.... staying within the topic of this post, I was very pleased to see the number of responses telling this young girl that she looked better with a little more weight.. Of course there were multiple suggests for weight training and toning, but a majority of the support was to be healthy even if that meant not being the skinniest.
  • RainHoward
    RainHoward Posts: 1,599 Member
    Whats wrong with bacon double cheeseburgers?

    They are as addictive as crack cocaine... Eating red meat is far more dangerous than even anorexia...

    I do not believe in becoming too thin... But, on the other hand eating red meat is never healthy...
    You may want to do some more research, LEAN red meat isnt as unhealthy as you imply,
    BEEF Jerky is a healthy snack ( Home Made Low Sodium Jerky that is )
    [/quote]

    Also depends greatly on the source of the red meat. Grass fed "organic" beef is delicious, expensive and a healthy source of protein. Cheap burger you buy at someplace like walmart, not so much. It's not the red meat that is the issue as all the filler they put in the processed meat and what they pump into the cattle to plump them up before selling them. Feed lots do some pretty vile things to animals. That being said, I love me some fresh beef.
  • InnerFatGirl
    InnerFatGirl Posts: 2,687 Member
    I get a lot of those as well. I find it somewhat irritating, maybe I shouldn't, but I do.
  • pikselinka
    pikselinka Posts: 154 Member
    shinelikevega I don't understand your whining, everyone does what they want to, and it's their bodies, so why would you care so much? Don't just play the goody shoes madam.

    And by the way I am eating healthily, when I am maintaining my weight. No, I don't care what you think of my own methods for my own body, and to be honest I don't think other people do too. And if you care too much about what other's eat you need to get a life and take care of your own body.

    I am sorry if this hurt anyone, but the truth remains unchanged, mind your own diet.
  • pliglig
    pliglig Posts: 4
    Slow and steady wins the race ;)

    I agree :laugh:
  • frando
    frando Posts: 583 Member
    I completely agree, I only have time for positive people!
  • Leeanne1974
    Leeanne1974 Posts: 207 Member
    I think a lot of people don't actually look at the food diary so when they see "completed food diary and was under calorie goal" they just post "awesome!" regardless of what someone ate for the day.
    Totally Agree.
    Its so bad and really indicated friend hunters rather than those who actually want to support each other!
  • arielian
    arielian Posts: 200
    everyone just needs a piece of bacon
  • kima1144
    kima1144 Posts: 28
    I know what u mean it crazy .I had 3 people email me on here telling me that 1800 cals is to much i need to drop it down to 12oo cals that nuts im 238 lbs now i cant just eat 1200 cals lol it hard for me to stay at 1800 cals lol
  • Leeanne1974
    Leeanne1974 Posts: 207 Member
    shinelikevega I don't understand your whining, everyone does what they want to, and it's their bodies, so why would you care so much? Don't just play the goody shoes madam.

    And by the way I am eating healthily, when I am maintaining my weight. No, I don't care what you think of my own methods for my own body, and to be honest I don't think other people do too. And if you care too much about what other's eat you need to get a life and take care of your own body.

    I am sorry if this hurt anyone, but the truth remains unchanged, mind your own diet.
    It is your own business....

    BUT i don't want under eaters as my friends....

    Regardless of what is presumed by some that only thin people can have an eating disorder, I had anorexia as a teenager and bulimia in my late 20s. Im big now and actually for the last week slipped back into an almost anorexic way of thinking. I was happy that i was netting around 600 cals and eating less than 900 a day.
    It easy to slip into that train of thought again, very easy.

    Your post was incredibly rude to be honest, especially the "madam" comment. The OP posted what are facts. That there are people on here who are encouraging anorexia. Congratulating people when they net 100 cals a day. She is actually a caring person and is concerned that there are people doing that.
  • pikselinka
    pikselinka Posts: 154 Member
    everyone just needs a piece of bacon

    Love this <3
  • JenniBaby85
    JenniBaby85 Posts: 855 Member
    shinelikevega I don't understand your whining, everyone does what they want to, and it's their bodies, so why would you care so much? Don't just play the goody shoes madam.

    And by the way I am eating healthily, when I am maintaining my weight. No, I don't care what you think of my own methods for my own body, and to be honest I don't think other people do too. And if you care too much about what other's eat you need to get a life and take care of your own body.

    I am sorry if this hurt anyone, but the truth remains unchanged, mind your own diet.

    I think it's important to be healthy, and Would never "Congratulate" someone for starving their bodies. It's unhealthy, and can KILL them. So therefore, it's more about being humane. Who wants to see people kill themselves or at the very least force themselves to be unhealthy?
    She was talking more about people congratulating them for starving themselves. And also people who only need to lose 5lbs and choose to starve themselves to get that result. Also, starving yourself won't work unless you do it for the rest of your life, which won't be long if someone is starving them self.

    I mean if someone came to you and told you "I want to commit suicide" would you congratulate that?

    Research proves it- starving yourself = unhealthy and can result in death. You ever hear of famine? How many people DIE from the fact that they don't HAVE the food? How overjoyed those people would be if they actually had the food, but they are forced into starvation by their circumstance. These people are making themselves like them just to be skinny!

    On ANOTHER note, I also struggled with an ED, and know for a fact that those people are hurting inside. It only hurts us MORE when these airbrushed size zeros are today's standard of beauty! There is a lot of pressure on people, specifically women to be SKINNY, which oftentimes is not healthy. Unless it's natural to someones body to be skinny.
  • pikselinka
    pikselinka Posts: 154 Member
    Leeanne1974 eating less doesn't necessarily mean someone's got an eating disorder. I am eating less for some period of time then bounce back to eating my BMR when I want to maintain my weight. You said people are encouraging anorexia, it's true in some cases, but you can't be anorexic when you're OBESE. I'd hate to be anorexic and hate others to be. But for mentally stable person being healthy shouldn't be a problem, so as long as you're not mentally disabled you shouldn't have a problem when to stop dieting and start maintaining. And by the way it's society's fault little girls think anorexic is sexy.
    I mean if someone came to you and told you "I want to commit suicide" would you congratulate that?

    Congratulate - no, but do whatever you feel like, it's not like I don't care, but it's your own life. If you don't care no one will.
  • AverageAngel
    AverageAngel Posts: 123 Member
    I think a lot of people don't actually look at the food diary so when they see "completed food diary and was under calorie goal" they just post "awesome!" regardless of what someone ate for the day.
    I must agree here. You can eat 800 calories of fruit snacks and diet cola , and whine all you want while getting superficial pats on the back, or you can shine like a beacon of good nutrition hope, and set the bar high.. and most of all, be legit and own the WAYOVERCALORIEGOAL days. *kitten* happens! Those days for me are usually filled with family and laughter, or a wonderful date day with my husband.
    You are only human. Life is not about the destination...
  • NZhellkat
    NZhellkat Posts: 355 Member
    Totally loving this post. I'm here to get healthy and to lose weight. To make a permanent life style choice. I am not here to encourage or enable someone in their addiction and self abuse. Thanks for all the positive comments here and keep up the excellent work and wonderful support.
  • JenniBaby85
    JenniBaby85 Posts: 855 Member
    Totally loving this post. I'm here to get healthy and to lose weight. To make a permanent life style choice. I am not here to encourage or enable someone in their addiction and self abuse. Thanks for all the positive comments here and keep up the excellent work and wonderful support.

    Agreed! :smile:
  • funkyspunky872
    funkyspunky872 Posts: 866 Member
    I've been on both sides. When I'm feeling very triggered, I tend to add more people with ED's. I don't compliment them on their eating, but I look at it as motivation... It's quite scary, and those friends usually don't last long. It's part of recovery to go back and forth like that. I'm really determined at this point though, and I'm slowly deleting those friends who are triggering.
  • KeriW626
    KeriW626 Posts: 430
    I totally agree. I think alot of people do not look at the food diaries. THey just see the completed under calorie intake. and send the good job. I have actually unfriended people for doing just that to me. I am still battling, my min. intake is 1200, Dr wants me at 1400. I want my friends to tell me I have done a good job when I reach 1200. not when Im under.

    I was under one day ate only 800ish calories. A very good friend pmd me to see what was going on. I happened to have the flu. But I am so glad I have good friends like her.

    I have a question, when you look at peoples food diary's. And they have come in under, by only a few calories. But their intake is for example: fast food, and beer. That is all they had for the day.... I see this as a trend with one particular friend. I discussed it with her, but nothing came of it. I try to eat healthy and clean. I am finding there are so many things I love raw. Just foods I would have never tried before.

    My food dairy goals, is to have as many blue lines as possible and meet my min. calorie intake of 1200.
  • Agreed !! Sun 08/19/12 12:17 PM
    The tongue is the worst offender! One can speak life or death with it. It's a choice we all make on a daily basis. With that being said "telling the truth in love to someone who may be very well killing themselves through starvation is not only good its required lest the blood be on our hands. We're not required to "support" people with ED. We're to inform them in love that they are damaging themselves. Offense seems to be taken when someone fails to agree with their poor decisions and with that the ED person thinks that individual is being mean when they are actually are being loving . This forum was set up for people to get healthy and maintain being healthy, not to "support" bad choices. . Be blessed!
  • KeriW626
    KeriW626 Posts: 430
    Totally loving this post. I'm here to get healthy and to lose weight. To make a permanent life style choice. I am not here to encourage or enable someone in their addiction and self abuse. Thanks for all the positive comments here and keep up the excellent work and wonderful support.

    Agreed! :smile:

    totally.
  • funkyspunky872
    funkyspunky872 Posts: 866 Member
    Leeanne1974 eating less doesn't necessarily mean someone's got an eating disorder. I am eating less for some period of time then bounce back to eating my BMR when I want to maintain my weight. You said people are encouraging anorexia, it's true in some cases, but you can't be anorexic when you're OBESE. I'd hate to be anorexic and hate others to be. But for mentally stable person being healthy shouldn't be a problem, so as long as you're not mentally disabled you shouldn't have a problem when to stop dieting and start maintaining. And by the way it's society's fault little girls think anorexic is sexy

    No, you can't be anorexic by medical standards when you're obese, but you can have all the other symptoms. The ONLY criteria for anorexia that is different than any other ED is an underweight BMI. In fact, bulimics who are underweight are automatically categorized as 'purging-anorexics." If you're obese and have any of the other mental and physical aspects of anorexia by all means you are 'anorexic' (however, you would be classified as EDNOS).

    They're just terms. Who's to say anorexia is any worse than bulimia or that bulimia is any worse than EDNOS and so on?