"I don't want to be too thin" - a "fat" people thing to say?

gorgeousjoanne

I think that if you haven't been there, you don't know what goes through the heavier person's mind.

I'm 5'4", and way back when, I used to be the girl who was so tiny that I didn't need to pick up anything for myself lol! "No dear, that's to heavy, I'll carry that for you!" I was a size 6/8 with a 24 inch waist, approximately 118-125 lb. (I have a moderate build).

It's been so long that the memory of that time is fading in my mind. I pick up my daughter's clothing when doing the laundry and marvel that I used to wear that size, it seems so impossible that I did! There is also an element of fear, too, because we are used to not feeling attractive and either receiving glances of horror or being ignored altogether. Oh no, what if we get noticed! How would we react? Also, the excess skin issue is a fear. But please be understanding of us. We have to understand you, so please be understanding what we are going through right now. We're just happy that we can lose weight and be healthy so we can live to see our children grow up. Cut us some slack. We need someone to cheer us on!

sherlau83

Hi!

Just something I overheard the other day that got me thinking. Usually larger people saying that they don't want to be "too thin" or "skinny".

In my opinion both of those terms are relative so one person views skinny as 5'5 110lbs person and another may say that the 5'5 girl is skinny at 120.

So when you say "I don't want to be skinny/too thin" what are you implying? Are you saying you don't find thin attractive or are you simply saying it because you don't believe you can reach a certain weight or is it just an excuse? Like you're heavy and you'd probably like to be that weight but are too lazy to actually work for it?

I don't mean to offend anyone. When I say I don't want to be skinny I mean under 120 (I'm 5'4) and at that weight I have hip bones jutting out and don't look healthy in my eyes.

This usually comes from two camps:

1. Women who have never been a healthy weight and so can't imagine themselves at one and
2. Women who think fat = curves.

I think that losing weight is very, very hard. It takes a special kind of person to get the weight off and keep it off. So, that being said, if you are skinny, why do you care what a larger lady says to make herself feel better? Some people may not have the self esteem that you have to have to be confident enough to say "I want to be too skinny!" Or maybe they just don't, would someone say "I don't want to be to fat" is a skinny thing? The bottom line is, we are here to support each other, not to tear down, right? Have a great day!!

abnerner

For me it was totally an excuse to not try my hardest.

^^ this

redheadkirsty

I've never really said I don't want to be too thin/skinny but it's true I don't. I don't want to go from one extreme to the other. I want to be healthy for the first time in a decade.
I've been the same height since 12-13 when I starte gaining weight, and when I was 126 I always felt right in my skin.

To me that's ideal but I didn't have boobs then. I didn't develop till I was 14 or so. So I'd have I take that into account and say 130ish would be good. I've set my goal for 140 now as that is halving my body weight. Once that's reached I'll alter my goal down a little more to where I think I should be (bang in the middle of the good BMI with any luck)

animatorswearbras

I have said this, too thin for me is 116 pounds at 5'5" which I have been before however my favourite weight was 126 pounds, I still had "curves" but felt slim and got lots of compliments where as the first weight got me concern. I think 126 is a really pleasing looking weight on my frame so that's what I would mean by not getting too thin, however I've seen girls on here taller than me with that weight who still have boobs and look great. It is all relative.

myfitnessnmhoy

I had that same feeling when I weighed 270. I thought 230 was going to be my goal, and it was for a while, then I accepted myself as heavy at 230 and my new goal is 195 (which for me brings me into "normal" BMI range).

In my case, I don't honestly think it was laziness. With that much weight to go, I started out trying to lose down into a normal BMI quickly, and my relationship with food became unhealthy. I started fasting, and looking at fad "one food" diets. When I backed my goal off to a weight I had remembered as feeling very healthy, it made the whole thing more approachable.

For me, "I don't want to be too thin" was a failsafe that kept me out of a very close call with an eating disorder.

Each person to their own pace, and their own goals. As long as they are judging themselves, and not you, they are traveling their own journey.

diadojikohei

It's interesting reading everyone's views!

At 23 I was 8 stone (112 pounds) I am 5 foot 10 and looking at my wedding photos, there's nothing of me! I ate like a horse, did lots of hill walking and caving and was seldom ill. I look healthy but my wrists look like bones. I wouldn't have called myself ''too thin'' then.

20 years and 4 children later I weighed 12 stone (168 pounds) and felt awful, looked permanently 6 months pregnant and felt like I was wading through mud all the time. I also started to have high blood pressure.

I have lost 14 pounds but would like to lose 14 more. One online weight calculator said that my ideal weight was as low as 9 stone (126 pounds) which seems ridiculous.

I'm now 47 and would not want to be 112 pounds again, I'd look like a head on a stick! But I think 140 is realistic for a middle aged woman!

invictus8

Focus on body fat percentage -- not weight, since that includes not only fat but muscle, nerves, bone, cartilage, tendons, water, digestive tract, organs, etc.

I'd reword the phrase "I don't want to be too thin" as "I want to lose a lot of body fat but I don't want to lose too much lean body mass."

katysmelly

I don't understand why fat people feel they are allowed to tell healthy people they are 'too thin'.

I agree.

I know some heavy women who go on about "skinny b****es" and "real women have curves" etc and that's where I think a lot of the talk of "too skinny" is coming from.

Jkelly1221

for me-because I have said those exact words-it was not believing i could actually get to the point of being skinny and using it as an excuse...like it gets so much harder to lose weight the closer to your goal, so maybe i will just give up and instead of admitting that its because i don't feel like trying harder, i'll say its because i don't want to be too skinny.

apedeb09

For me it was totally an excuse to not try my hardest.

^Yep! Same.

KyleB65

I used to say things like this. For me it was pure ignorance and a way to try and trick myself into believing that I was not as over weight and out of shape as I actually was.

My new mantra is "I want to do that!". Maybe I can, maybe I can't but I will try anything!

maspicantexfa

I'm a fat person who cannot wait for the day when someone tells me I'm too thin. That would be the ultimate compliment.

russellma

Actually, that wasn't something I said when I was overweight. I never thought it was even a possibility when I started!

But, as I started to lose weight, I started hearing comments that let me know people were worried...don't get too skinny, etc.. In a way, it irritated me because I'm at a perfectly healthy weight, but I also appreciated their concern. When they look at me, they don't see the fat that's left. They see the fat that's gone. They see me compared to a society full of overweight people.

Unlike them, I was only seeing the fat that's still there and I don't want to fall into the trap of never being satisfied. In my eyes, I can still stand to lose 5 lbs or so and I'd like it to be off my thighs and belly in the hopes of having the "perfect" (well, as perfect as I'm going to get after 3 babies!) body.

Nevermind that I wear a size 4 or 6 and have no guarantee that that 5 lbs. is actually going to come from where I want it to. It might be that that last 5 lbs is going to send me over the "too thin" line, which will make matters worse instead of better.

The fact is that I don't want to be too thin and I don't want to be obsessed with my body. At 36, I don't need to have the body of a 20 year old. I need to be an example to my kids that you can enjoy life and be healthy at the same time without selling your soul for "perfection". So, I choose to be happy with being healthy and accept my body with all of its imperfections.

katysmelly

I'm a fat person who cannot wait for the day when someone tells me I'm too thin. That would be the ultimate compliment.

I hope that you get your wish!

But, in the meantime, please keep in mind that thin people usually don't like it.

DawnieB1977

'Too thin' for me is when my face starts to look gaunt. I was pretty thin for me about 10 years ago, and my colleagues at the time told me I'd lost too much weight. I'm never going to be skinny because I have an hourglass figure, so my boobs and hips will always be a bit bigger.

I'm 34 now and have 2 children, but my clothes from 10 years ago (yeah, i kept them lol) are starting to fit me again.

I work out a lot more now with weights, and I have a personal trainer, so I have more muscle mass than I did back then, and I'm more toned. My BMI then was 22, but I think when I get back to the same size as I was, my BMI this time will be higher.

k2quiere

Sex is also more comfortable when i have some meat on my bones as well, which is my biggest motivator for losing weight to begin with.

We have a winner!

turbophoenix

I think this comes from many places, each individual to the person. Here are some I've encountered.

a) I have a friend who is in recovery from an eating disorder (I think that's how you say it). In the process, she gained a lot of weight partially because her metabolism was out of whack from all the up and down she put her body through. She is now overweight and uncomfortable with it and told me recently that she wanted to lose weight but reassured me that she didn't want to get "too skinny." In that case I think she was just trying to let me know that she wasn't going to go back to 98 pounds (and thus the hospital).

b) My husband is not attracted to stick-thin models. He finds them disgusting. He will often say "look at her, she has twig arms!" When I started working out and dieting, he asked me (not in a mean way) to not loose too much weight or "get too thin." He's simply not attracted to it. I assured him that with my body type it would be extremely hard to pull that off anyway and that it wasn't my goal.

I think a lot of people fall somewhere into b - they either don't find the really, really thin thing attractive OR, on the flip-side, they aren't capable of reaching it.

My brain is mush this morning... I had 2 other examples when I started and now I can't think of them :P Oh well, if I remember I'll add later.

nataliexxxx

Id love people to think I was too thin

IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym

I've never been overweight, quite the opposite, in fact, so when I say it, I just mean I don't want to get back to 98 pounds at 5'5" and looking like a stick figure. I'm loving that I finally have curves and all I had to do was gain weight and drop body fat.