"You would be STUNNING if you just lost some weight"

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  • CassandraM22
    CassandraM22 Posts: 89
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    OMG, I get "You are SO funny!" That's it. that's the only compliment I ever got. Sometimes I get the "You could be cute if..." if what? I swapped bodies with someone? I was abducted by aliens and they probbed my fat away? :| Ugh.
  • BeeRobin
    BeeRobin Posts: 160 Member
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    I used to hear that all the time..."You'd be pretty if you lost weight..."

    Now that I'm down 85lbs I'm proving them wrong. Plain then...plain now. (just with less of me).
  • JESSJESJ
    JESSJESJ Posts: 121 Member
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    yup. frequently, especially from my mom. it is kinda true.

    :ohwell:
  • fizzletto
    fizzletto Posts: 252 Member
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    Plain then...plain now. (just with less of me).

    I know your pain. I can't stand that all these people are complaining that they've been told they have a pretty face. I've never been told that. Doesn't matter how much I weigh, 90lbs or 900lbs, I'm still going to be plain looking. At least all you people who have been told you'd be pretty if you lost weight actually have the ability to lose the weight, I'm stuck with my face.
  • madelonism
    madelonism Posts: 292 Member
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    i get all of the backhanded compliments. and you know what? THEY ARE ALL CORRECT. yes, i have a pretty face and a great personality, plus size madel blah blah and would be a complete man eater if i only lost some weight. the truth hurts sometimes, but why is everyone getting fussy over compliments? id be more angry if someone said i was an ugly fat slob and always will be. people are too sensitive.
  • Amber82479
    Amber82479 Posts: 629 Member
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    You ARE stunning now. They're just BLIND.
  • alladream
    alladream Posts: 261 Member
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    Sure, people are rude in a lot of ways: my partner's mother told me this weekend that I "have such beautiful hair (natural red), that it would be stunning if I cut and dyed it". WUT?????? That didn't even add up to making sense, and she wasn't drunk--
  • AlayshaJ
    AlayshaJ Posts: 703 Member
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    They think you are so stunning now because there is no fat gunking up your face. Its pretty straight forward.
  • checof
    checof Posts: 114
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    Ha, I haven't heard STUNNING, but the first time I was told I was "very pretty but too fat" I was in elemtary school. 5th grade, to be precise. I was crushed then, but I'm made of shamrocks now. :P

    I've since heard variations of this "compliment" a couple of times, and while I'm not ecstatic about it, it doesn't upset me greatly either. I take compliments depending on the source more than on the words themselves. Usually I hear this from old ladies who are sure that they are being helpful and are not at all malicious. *shrugs*
  • GaiaGirl1992
    GaiaGirl1992 Posts: 459 Member
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    I get comments all the time from my family....
    grandmother: "those cheese sticks are pretty fattening, maybe you should have the steamed vegetables?" (she had a point, but it really didn't need to be said in front of my family.....and I wanted one!!)
    mother: you need to stop eating so much! (coming from a woman who eats less than 1000 calories....most of it half a stick of butter on her dinner!)
    mother: straighten your hair and put on some make up, and you'd be pretty! (gee thanks mom...) not to mention she thinks its her business to tell me how fat I look in a shirt as I get ready for school.....

    I am the biggest person in my family fat wise....gym rats and skinnies and miracle-drug addicts. If someone makes a comment that is just plain RUDE, defend yourself!!! I refuse to take comments like that any more, and since I started standing up for myself the comments have mostly stopped!
  • firstloveyourself
    firstloveyourself Posts: 149 Member
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    My mom always told me how pretty I'd be if I were skinnier.
    My grandmother always compared me to my cousin (who has a similar face to mine but weighs probably 50 lbs less), saying, "Why don't you look like her? She's actually pretty."

    It's one thing to hear it from strangers, but not from your own family.
  • honey_bee_keysha
    honey_bee_keysha Posts: 773 Member
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    I heard that the entire time growing up. Now that I have lost the weight, I hear comments like: "you're so thin. You could stand to gain a few pounds."
  • kimosabe1
    kimosabe1 Posts: 2,467 Member
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    get this! Some biotch in Costco asked when I was due! My husband stopped me from getting physical....
  • Hezzietiger1
    Hezzietiger1 Posts: 1,256 Member
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    Yeh, I got the, "you have a cute face" comment a lot.
  • fitforlife34
    fitforlife34 Posts: 331 Member
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    I had one guy I dated tell me if I lose some weight I would be a bad azz b****. hahaa. funny. I don't know if he was into me, i was relaly into him. But found out later he was dating some girl, very nice figure!!! But her teeth were all messed up, I like my face better .lol
  • Polly758
    Polly758 Posts: 623 Member
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    It's not a backhanded compliment. It's an insult. "You'd be pretty except for..." = you're ugly.

    I'm not saying anyone here is ugly. I'm saying, perhaps the correct response is, "So you're saying I'm ugly?"

    That's why it hurts when people say it. Bullies are mean. But since they aren't likely to steal your lunch money, you could also say, "Go away." Or "I don't care what you think."
  • GrammyPammy145
    GrammyPammy145 Posts: 48 Member
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    I've been told this my whole life! Yea.. like that really makes you feel better. I don't think they realize how much it hurts to hear something like that. Just makes you feel fatter. But I am going to show them all! I've already lost more than they thought I would!
  • vytamindi
    vytamindi Posts: 845 Member
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    My personal favorite was when someone told me "You would be so beautiful if you lost some weight!" :huh: Who say's stuff like that...They were right but REALLY who says that! LOL!

    My dad told me that once. I have a cousin who used to model for local fashion coupon fliers and he told me I could be just as pretty as her if I lost weight. I took it as the greatest compliment.

    Another thing to add to my "if I one day time travel" list of events where I would slap my younger self in the face.
  • CarmenLynn75
    CarmenLynn75 Posts: 118 Member
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    I've heard this for 37 years.. I mean, maybe people figure they're being helpful? I don't know anymore, and quite honestly could care less. If people figure they have to add in a derogatory comment when they attempt to compliment me, I don't reply with a thank you that's for darn sure. And if the time and place allows, I might even have a quick comeback of some witty nature.. You can change weight, but not arrogance :)
  • Softrbreeze
    Softrbreeze Posts: 156 Member
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    Your beautiful now. If they gotta problem with it, tell them to shove it! Not to mention, todays idea of "beauty" for most people is ridiculous. Ive seen so called beautiful super models. Gross!!

    THAT!!! Nevermind those other folk.

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