"You would be STUNNING if you just lost some weight"

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  • KyeInRainbows
    KyeInRainbows Posts: 2
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    I was sitting at a Jack in the Box with one of my friends a few years ago, She is a really skinny puerto rican girl, and an Old man came up to us and he said " You would be just as pretty as her if you lost 20 pounds". I was so shocked and devastated...
  • HeatherThompson1219
    HeatherThompson1219 Posts: 3
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    Ignore them. People like that will NEVER be happy. Seriously, I was 135lbs at 5'11 with DDDs and was told that I was fat. Really??? I could count my freaking ribs through my shirt. Then I had to have my ovary removed, gained 50lbs because of hormones, then I was put on hormones to control that and gained over 100lbs. :( So you can imagine the absolutely horrible comments I got then. I just wanted to crawl in a hole. I worked out and ate right but nothing would budge. Basically I gave up until recently. A friend with a lot of the same health issues lost a lot of weight and invited me to join this site. I've lost 37lbs, and I am looking forward to being healthy again. :) I think the meanest comments were from my mom. My mother is REALLY big, over 450lbs, and she used to tell me I was fat when I was a twig. God it used to make me mad. It took EVERYTHING I had not to grab a handful of her gut and scream "ARE YOU SERIOUSLY CALLING ME FAT????" People who say mean things to you are only pointing out your "flaws" to feel better about themselves.
  • dotmango
    dotmango Posts: 33 Member
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    hmmmm....i WOULD be stunning if i lost these last 40 lbs. simple fact

    Thanks for the honesty, I'm with you on this on. I can actually say that I look a hundred times better and happier when I'm more active and twenty pounds lighter than I am right now. Sometimes we need to take our feelings and attachments and reactions and examine them for the things that we are reading into a statement and the things that are actually there.
  • MizzDoc
    MizzDoc Posts: 493 Member
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    Has anyone ever gotten this "compliment" before? Why am I not stunning now? :( Idk, it just hurts...like the only way I'll ever be desirable is if I'm skinny.

    All the time, especially from family. I just hit my mental mute button. I know I am fabulous :laugh: .

    And you know what? So are YOU! :flowerforyou:
  • BeeRobin
    BeeRobin Posts: 160 Member
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    Plain then...plain now. (just with less of me).

    I know your pain. I can't stand that all these people are complaining that they've been told they have a pretty face. I've never been told that. Doesn't matter how much I weigh, 90lbs or 900lbs, I'm still going to be plain looking. At least all you people who have been told you'd be pretty if you lost weight actually have the ability to lose the weight, I'm stuck with my face.

    Hugs.
  • SammyPacks
    SammyPacks Posts: 697 Member
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    LOL! Still get that even after losing some weight... guess there's more I want to come off, but after a while you start to realize who the really nice people are at the end of it all :P and who love YOU for YOU <3
  • MizKittyB
    MizKittyB Posts: 47 Member
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    I think part of the problem is that people seem to think women owe it to the general public to look a certain way. The people who say things like this are assuming that of COURSE one of your priorities is to be approved of for your looks, based on a pretty narrow standard of judgement, and they have a right to offer their take on your looks.

    THIS. It's not only that the other person is being tactless, it's that they think they are allowed some sort of privileged assessment of you and your appearance based on a narrow-minded standard of "beautiful." (My favorite quote about appearances: "I'm a Pre-Raphaelite woman in a Diet Coke world!" )

    I'm rarely happy with what I see in the mirror, but I also remind myself daily that normal people wear makeup by CoverGirl. The people in magazines have makeup by Photoshop. ...Guess which one is an attainable look?
  • deagh93
    deagh93 Posts: 77 Member
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    I get both sides of it.

    "I'd do you if you lost 20lbs" (or similar comments I've read in this thread) Seriously? WTF? I'd be like "Too bad you'll never get the chance. I don't do dumb@sses"

    "You'd be pretty if..." means "You are ugly." It isn't a nice thing to say.

    "You have a pretty face."...well, at least they left the other part implied and didn't come right out and SAY it.

    However...I'm not pretty. I never will be. Losing weight won't help with that...so at least folks who have had that said to them can take comfort in the fact that they have potential.

    I'm the one with the awesome personality. And I seriously do have one. I'm funny, I'm smart, I'm a great friend, and my partner appreciates me for who I am and that's awesome.

    But I'd like to know what being pretty is like, even if it's just for a little while.
  • Droope2
    Droope2 Posts: 82
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    Ever damn day!! People think they are being nice and frankly their being *kitten*. I used to be the one who weight 110lbs, I know what it feels like, just because I gained weight doesn't make me any less pretty (although I am not quite sure I'm what anyone considers "pretty") I would love to say "Yes, i'll be pretty when I lose the weight, but you'll always be an *kitten*"
    I just wish people who learn to think before they speak!
    Everyone one of you on this thread is beautiful, inside and out, please don't ever let anyone make you think differently!
  • misskerouac
    misskerouac Posts: 2,242 Member
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    Yup. But strangely only from family or my husband.
  • checof
    checof Posts: 114
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    "I'm a Pre-Raphaelite woman in a Diet Coke world!"

    Love this! XD
  • muscravageur
    muscravageur Posts: 73
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    "I'm a Pre-Raphaelite woman in a Diet Coke world!"

    Love this! XD

    Bump! I was thinking the same thing!
  • draco706
    draco706 Posts: 174 Member
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    My grandmother told me "you were the most beautiful of my granddaughters before you put on all that weight" Nice huh?
  • GeliPearl401
    GeliPearl401 Posts: 11
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    I get it all the time." You have a pretty face but if you lost a few more pounds, you'd be gorgeous!" It hurts. And when you're the only curvy Asian in a pool of skinny size 0 Asian hotties, it's very easy to feel uncomfortable. I don't fit that stereotype of an "ideal" Asian woman. Sure, I'm short and my eyes are slanted but that's where the buck stops. Everyday I'm reminded of how I don't look like the other girl. I've even been told that I didn't look Asian enough. I'm not sure what that's suppose to mean but I'm pretty sure they were talking about my body type.:brokenheart:
  • zeebruhgirl
    zeebruhgirl Posts: 493 Member
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    My boss is always like "You could be a model if you took those piercings out"
    Drives me nuts
  • NavyKnightAh13
    NavyKnightAh13 Posts: 1,394 Member
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    I was told that a lot by my mom, and by the guys when i was in high school.
  • KLo924
    KLo924 Posts: 379 Member
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    Yep... "You should be a face model.". Thanks, but ouch :(
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,326 Member
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    more women need to cultivate the fine art of telling people to STFU and not tying their emotions and SELF esteem to other people's opinion of them.
  • PatrissiaLu
    PatrissiaLu Posts: 37
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    Never got that one, but certainly the "You have a really pretty face" ..... ummm thanks???? :brokenheart:
  • JessicaBR0
    JessicaBR0 Posts: 256 Member
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    Oh yeah I have gotten this too! " You have a pretty face". "She's pretty but kinda big." Major ouch! :sad:

    Luckily I found a man who loves me no matter what. The people that can't see past it , aren't worth your time.They won't ever treat you as well as some one who sees you for the beautiful person you are.

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