"You would be STUNNING if you just lost some weight"
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Plain then...plain now. (just with less of me).
I know your pain. I can't stand that all these people are complaining that they've been told they have a pretty face. I've never been told that. Doesn't matter how much I weigh, 90lbs or 900lbs, I'm still going to be plain looking. At least all you people who have been told you'd be pretty if you lost weight actually have the ability to lose the weight, I'm stuck with my face.
Right there with you guys, losing weight did not suddenly make me goodlooking, sadly. Nice, funny, interesting, smart, kind-I was all of those things when I was skinny years ago, I was all of those things when I was overweight, I'm all of those things now...but goodlooking, not so much...a guy actually approached me at a bar years ago and said he felt comfortable talking to me because I was a "plain Jane type" and probably not like the pretty girls he usually talked to...effin FACEPALM. Seriously? (Sadly, I was young, and had just broken up with a boyfriend, and went out with this *kitten*-hat anyway)
As for the OP: I'm sorry someone said that to you, because you ARE stunning! Wouldn't it be nice if someone just said: "You have a pretty face." People need to learn to FILTER what they say, sometimes. That's all that needs to be said...it's not necessary to tell someone they'd be better looking if they lost weight...don't you think we already know this?0 -
I get it all the time." You have a pretty face but if you lost a few more pounds, you'd be gorgeous!" It hurts. And when you're the only curvy Asian in a pool of skinny size 0 Asian hotties, it's very easy to feel uncomfortable. I don't fit that stereotype of an "ideal" Asian woman. Sure, I'm short and my eyes are slanted but that's where the buck stops. Everyday I'm reminded of how I don't look like the other girl. I've even been told that I didn't look Asian enough. I'm not sure what that's suppose to mean but I'm pretty sure they were talking about my body type.:brokenheart:
You're Asian AND you have curves? You should consider yourself blessed!0 -
mother: you need to stop eating so much! (coming from a woman who eats less than 1000 calories....most of it half a stick of butter on her dinner!)
This is my mother! She refuses to eat more than 800 calories a day.0 -
Ive been over weight and under weight in both unhealthy ways... but now i know better and i try and do both as healthy as I can but now I get ... If im trying to gain weight to build. " You stop working out?" when I cut I get "Ewww eat you look nasty!" ( get this from my sister or bff the most.) o.0 Lols i would feel like **** for a sec smile and walk away... and i still do that... it is what it is... jelly ppl gunna stay jelly. so they **** to make others feel bad.0
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by my husband no less...EFFER0
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When I was at school I was called fat all the time..."oh breathe in Steph is coming through," "you're morbidly obese" etc...:grumble:
The comment that hurt the most? A 'popular' guy at school said:
"You have a great smile, you're pretty, intelligent, funny but....you're just fat"
:explode:
I'm 20(ish) pounds away from my goal....School reunion soon maybe???
We are all brave for doing this and we are all amazing. Shouldn't matter what other people say. They put us down to hide their own insecurities. We need to be happy with our goals and achievements! :drinker:0 -
I once got (from a "friend") "I love hanging out with you, Jo. You make me look really skinny!"
Trouble is, she seemed to think she was paying me a compliment!!!! When she realised she wasn't, she tried to pull it back by saying "You've got real curves and they suit you. I wouldn't suit them!"
WTF?!?!!?!?!?!!!0 -
"You meant to say I'd STILL be stunning if I lost weight, right?"0
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I am prettier now that I've lost weight. I have more outward confidence which is attractive. The shape of my face is prettier. My body looks better at 140lbs (138lbs actually
) than 230lbs. These are just physical points. I get men staring as they drive passed, I have more men compliment me than I ever have. It is a fact that physically I LOOK better - which is my goal after healthy isn't it? Are we in denial?
When I was 230 I was still pretty. I met my husband at that size and he often told me I was the prettiest girl he knows in all seriousness.
The thing is that it is rude for people to say that we would look prettier/uglier. How vain and self important to think that you can judge - Who are you? The Simon Cowell of the body patrol?
If all you want to go on is my physical appearance and not my hilarious personality, grace and humbleness then I don't really care to know what you find pretty and ugly. But if all we are going on is my appearance then I agree: I FEEL prettier when I am 90lbs lighter, and I look prettier because I feel prettier (Never mind the fact that I fit in with the society goal of skinny=pretty). -- In-fact I think you would be an amazing person if you just dropped 99% of that mentality.
My boss and a coworker had a conversation. They were talking about a meeting they had with two women. The women had names, they were given. They knew them. But the conversation after was about "the fat lady" and the "thin lady". These are the people I roll my eyes at and realize how vain we are in this society. How ignorant and brutal we are to eachother. My husband passed a lady last night in a store and got my attention and said "look at that!" - We had JUST had a conversation about eating disorders and the way we act affecting other people in which he agreed that it was bull**** and people shouldn't be subjected to it..... Society is made up of mean and vain people (non-discriminating against size) who never left the high school appearance mentality behind.. How many amazing people are passed over because of size?0 -
When I was in 7th grade, I remember sitting in the back of 2 guys in english class.
They both randomly turn around and gave me a full body scan with their eyes.
Then they looked at each other and one of 'em said, "She's a pretty girl...it's just that she's fat."
I was 13/14 years old at that time...and thats when i started being obsessed with being skinny.
I tried so many diets, I starved myself literally.
Now, even as I lost alot of weight...i still think thats its not enough. Like I need to be a certain size to
be completely perfect you know...it's sad.0 -
I get it all the time." You have a pretty face but if you lost a few more pounds, you'd be gorgeous!" It hurts. And when you're the only curvy Asian in a pool of skinny size 0 Asian hotties, it's very easy to feel uncomfortable. I don't fit that stereotype of an "ideal" Asian woman. Sure, I'm short and my eyes are slanted but that's where the buck stops. Everyday I'm reminded of how I don't look like the other girl. I've even been told that I didn't look Asian enough. I'm not sure what that's suppose to mean but I'm pretty sure they were talking about my body type.:brokenheart:
I also get comments that I don't look Puerto Rican and that I don't look like the girls from the central mountain range of the island. One girl told me it was because all the girls there "are pretty, light-skinned, with straight brown hair and the cold keeps their breasts and butts all nice and firm". I couldn't believe it. That's another thing: girls can be incredibly mean to each other.0 -
So the bottom line is, that when I gained weight, and saw some pictures of myself, I didn't recognize me! I looked terrible? How could the people I love not tell me?
And I don't understand why everyone is offended... the bottom line is that we are all here to lose weight and improve our health! Yes, when people say stuff like that it's rude, but it's the truth.
On the other hand, my wonderful Father-in-Law told me a few months ago, "I am happy for you that you a losing weight and taking control of your health... and you will always be beautiful big or small, but I do prefer your face a little fuller... but hey, that's just me!" :laugh:0 -
I think it is sad when your Mom or Nan says to lose weight...I would never say that to my daughter! I would try to set a good example to her. If she is living with me then I have some control of what foods come into the house. Fortunately, my daughter does eat rather healthy.0
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i agree and i hate bach handed complimments liek er um great make up, hair ty but...0
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I don't get the complaints about being complimented either. I understand if someone said "you'd be pretty IF..." and how that implies that you are not pretty right now. And for those dealing with these comments, I just want to remind you that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Some people think Angelina Jolie is hideous. Whatever. And there will be people out there that find you incredibly attractive on a physical level!
If someone tells you that "You have such a beautiful face, you would really be a knockout if you lost weight" you should take that as a compliment. You hit the genetic lottery when it came to your face and that's something that you can't change (plastic surgery aside). What you CAN change is your weight. So while that one person may not find your body to their liking, you don't have to change for them. But know that it was a compliment. I look at these kinds of compliments as motivation. I think you girls should too. You can choose to be offended or you can choose to be flattered. To me, it sounds like an easy choice.0 -
"You're really pretty, but you would be even prettier if you lost weight". Thanks.... that makes me feel great.0
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Most of my life I've had a amazing body and not such a great face.
Nobody points THAT out to you, which I appreciate.
"Man, you have a great body. If only you were prettier..."0 -
Err, yeah. "If you lose some weight, you'd be really pretty.." *sigh*0
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Ah, backhanded compliments.
No one compliments my face OR my body (except my husband who appreciates both, tyvm). I get the, "Oh, well, you have a great personality!" Haha. I don't really care so much anymore. I don't need their approval or their compliments to do my thing, and I am focusing on being strong and healthy for myself, not for them and certainly not so I can meet someone else's standards of beauty.0 -
This is a tough one. I'd definitely appreciate my family or close friends telling me that I'm off-track, especially because when I don't weigh myself I convince myself that I am doing fine, and all of a sudden I'm ten pounds up and it's impossible to shift. My family and close friends would never do that, of course, which may or may not be a good thing.
I've been told by lots of people, outside of family or close friends, that I am overweight. My favorite recent comment was by my manager's wife. English is not her first language, and one day she told me, entirely out of the blue, that "you could be a beautiful girl, but you are too fat." Total gut punch, right there!0 -
I've never wanted to be skinny (even though I was called "Toothpick" when I was a kid). Average is always overlooked. Large people long to be skinny, skinny people long to be muscular. Average has always been more appealing to me because it gives you something to hold onto, but not overly so. And skinny people are always so bony that hugs can be a little uncomfortable. Of course, some people are just skinny naturally (can't gain weight, even if they try).0
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Nope. I am lead to believe I'll look ugly regardless, then? =D0
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All my life lol,0
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I have a relative that has said more then once "Crystal is a pretty girl but she just needs to loose some weight.' It makes u wan't to tell them especially when there not slim thereselves "You got a right to talk."...I don't think of it as a compliment not after they discuss my weight!!0
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I used to get it when I was bigger by people. Shocking really, big girls are lovely
<33 0 -
Smack this guy!0
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I haven't ever had this one and I attribute that to my awesome parents. My mom and dad never said "You'd be beautiful if..." They just said "You're beautiful." Period. Like good parents should! Maybe because they know what's it's like to be harped on about weight (my grandmother always made snide comments to my mom.)
Some people amaze me with their tactlessness.0 -
Clearly only superficial individuals would make a comment like this. They have nothing to offer but rude, shallow comments. I hope you don't let this bring you down.0
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Nope. I am lead to believe I'll look ugly regardless, then? =D
I dunno. You look pretty to me. 0 -
Years back when I was tipping the scales at 300 lbs, my mom had told me one day that I was going to grown up to be a handsome man.
At the time, I told her she was drunk, haha. 0
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