Want fiance to lift... but... he isn't motivated.
55AngelH55
Posts: 117
in Chit-Chat
Hey.
I already know how badly this will turn out for me. I have prepped w/ a tarp for the tomato-throwing.
My fiance and I are getting married in Feb. He used to work out ALL the time, and did a moderate amount of body-building.
I'd like for him to do a little bit with that again between now and then for the wedding pictures - we're going to Miami for our honeymoon, and intend to do a photoshoot there.
That's what's motivating me to get the weight loss done!
I've mentioned it to him a few times, and he says he's too tired after work to work-out, and that he walks around all the time for work, so he doesn't need the cardio. (He's in car sales)
So, from the men in the room... (or ladies in similar situations):
How can I motivate him to do a little lifting between now and then? I'd just like him to tone up a little, but I don't want to hurt his feelings.
I already know how badly this will turn out for me. I have prepped w/ a tarp for the tomato-throwing.
My fiance and I are getting married in Feb. He used to work out ALL the time, and did a moderate amount of body-building.
I'd like for him to do a little bit with that again between now and then for the wedding pictures - we're going to Miami for our honeymoon, and intend to do a photoshoot there.
That's what's motivating me to get the weight loss done!
I've mentioned it to him a few times, and he says he's too tired after work to work-out, and that he walks around all the time for work, so he doesn't need the cardio. (He's in car sales)
So, from the men in the room... (or ladies in similar situations):
How can I motivate him to do a little lifting between now and then? I'd just like him to tone up a little, but I don't want to hurt his feelings.
0
Replies
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Also, I'm not going to be like... pissed or whatever... if he doesn't.
It'd just be nice.0 -
Oh boy. Just wait until you want him to bring out the garbage or be home in time for dinner with the folks.
-wtk0 -
:-( He's already great about that stuff.... lol0
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lol accept him for who he is. If you want him to lift weights and stuff to look good for the wedding.... that's pretty selfish. It's ONE day.0
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Just break up with him.0
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Be straight up, tell him you'd like him to go with you. Tell him it would give him more energy.
If he won't do it on the weekdays, see about the weekends. I'm getting married in a year, and when I go to the gym and I know he's just going straight home to watch TV sometimes I want to say something.
But he didn't work out when I met him, and I love him how he is.0 -
Actually, I want him to do it bc he's really self-conscious about his body bc he has an abnormality in his ribcage caused by scoliosis and he felt a lot more confident when his arms were bigger....
So, it's not selfishly motivated in the least. I love his body the way it is. I don't care.
He's just going to be unhappy w/ the pictures. And I know it.0 -
Get out while you still can or put up with what's to come. It's a commitment so as long as you know what you're getting then there's not much you can do to change him0
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Just break up with him.
lol wtf?
you're joking, right?0 -
Offer to do it with him. You can both go, lift for a bit and motivate eachother.0
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Offer to do it with him. You can both go, lift for a bit and motivate eachother.
This (and others like it) are good ideas. Thanks. 0 -
Actually, I want him to do it bc he's really self-conscious about his body bc he has an abnormality in his ribcage caused by scoliosis and he felt a lot more confident when his arms were bigger....
So, it's not selfishly motivated in the least. I love his body the way it is. I don't care.
He's just going to be unhappy w/ the pictures. And I know it.
Comical how when someone doesn't get the answer they want, all of a sudden there's ALL these extra reasons WHY they're right.
*sigh*
Look Lady, this is probably want you want to hear, so disregard my first statement. "Honey, remember when you had those big arms and your curvy spinal chest thing didn't bother you as much? Yeah, I know that's not the case anymore. Let's go work out. Because I know you're going to be a big girl when the pictures come back and you hate them. And I don't want to hear you yotch about hating the pictures."
Better?0 -
Actually, I want him to do it bc he's really self-conscious about his body bc he has an abnormality in his ribcage caused by scoliosis and he felt a lot more confident when his arms were bigger....
So, it's not selfishly motivated in the least. I love his body the way it is. I don't care.
He's just going to be unhappy w/ the pictures. And I know it.
Don't take shirtless pictures of him then? Is this a shirtless wedding?0 -
Offer to do it with him. You can both go, lift for a bit and motivate eachother.
This (and others like it) are good ideas. Thanks.
It helped my boyfriend out. I began changing my lifestyle and he /wanted/ to but couldn't find the motivation to stick with it. After him seeing my results, he got interested and we now hit the gym together. It works out really well!
If that fails though, you'll pretty much just have to let it go for the sake of his confidence. It's nearly impossible to make somebody WANT to become more fit/healthy.0 -
Make a bet with him. It plays to the whole male ego thing, and competitiveness.
Set him a challenge - if he can proportionally lift as a percentage of his bodyweight more than you after X amount of time, and/or completes some sort of fitness test/assessment with a better score than you... You'll agree to do whatever he wants on the honeymoon?
*shrug* just a thought. Incentive.
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Actually, I want him to do it bc he's really self-conscious about his body bc he has an abnormality in his ribcage caused by scoliosis and he felt a lot more confident when his arms were bigger....
So, it's not selfishly motivated in the least. I love his body the way it is. I don't care.
He's just going to be unhappy w/ the pictures. And I know it.
Don't take shirtless pictures of him then? Is this a shirtless wedding?
No, but the honeymoon pictures will be... we're doing a photoshoot in Miami.0 -
Make a bet with him. It plays to the whole male ego thing, and competitiveness.
Set him a challenge - if he can proportionally lift as a percentage of his bodyweight more than you after X amount of time, and/or completes some sort of fitness test/assessment with a better score than you... You'll agree to do whatever he wants on the honeymoon?
*shrug* just a thought. Incentive.
brilliant!0 -
Why a photoshoot for the honeymoon?
Any dude I can think of is going to be SO DONE with photos after the wedding.
You'll be lucky if he isn't hiding from polaroids for a year.0 -
As somebody else said, just try to do it with him. Date night at the gym, w00t!
Maybe motivate him with sexy time ;-)0 -
As somebody else said, just try to do it with him. Date night at the gym, w00t!
Maybe motivate him with sexy time ;-)
You know the old saying...
...A man may wear the trousers in the relationship, but the woman controls the zipper. 0 -
Tell him his tool isn't valuable enough to build a shed over it and to get his fat @$$ in the gym.0
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Bat your eyes at him and tell him you need him to lift with you cuz you need a spotter.0
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Actually, I want him to do it bc he's really self-conscious about his body bc he has an abnormality in his ribcage caused by scoliosis and he felt a lot more confident when his arms were bigger....
So, it's not selfishly motivated in the least. I love his body the way it is. I don't care.
He's just going to be unhappy w/ the pictures. And I know it.
Comical how when someone doesn't get the answer they want, all of a sudden there's ALL these extra reasons WHY they're right.
*sigh*
Look Lady, this is probably want you want to hear, so disregard my first statement. "Honey, remember when you had those big arms and your curvy spinal chest thing didn't bother you as much? Yeah, I know that's not the case anymore. Let's go work out. Because I know you're going to be a big girl when the pictures come back and you hate them. And I don't want to hear you yotch about hating the pictures."
Better?
Offer him boobs?0 -
Actually, I want him to do it bc he's really self-conscious about his body bc he has an abnormality in his ribcage caused by scoliosis and he felt a lot more confident when his arms were bigger....
So, it's not selfishly motivated in the least. I love his body the way it is. I don't care.
He's just going to be unhappy w/ the pictures. And I know it.
Comical how when someone doesn't get the answer they want, all of a sudden there's ALL these extra reasons WHY they're right.
*sigh*
Look Lady, this is probably want you want to hear, so disregard my first statement. "Honey, remember when you had those big arms and your curvy spinal chest thing didn't bother you as much? Yeah, I know that's not the case anymore. Let's go work out. Because I know you're going to be a big girl when the pictures come back and you hate them. And I don't want to hear you yotch about hating the pictures."
Better?
Offer him boobs?
Bacon, silly goose. You offer him bacon.0 -
Offer him boobs?
Bacon, silly goose. You offer him bacon.
Bacon covered boobs. He can't turn that down. Right?0 -
Sleep with a bodybuilder and send him the pics0
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get some weights... lift nekked. perfect motivation...0
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Just tell him you want to learn how to lift weights properly and since he used to lift, you would like him to teach you. Once he's back in the gym, that might be enough motivation for him to pick it back up. Or tell him some guy at the gym offered to teach you. Sometimes it's just better to use our egos to manipulate us with us without knowing it.0
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I just have to wonder what would have happened if the roles were reversed?
Why would you book a photo-shoot knowing he would be self-conscious? This is an honest question.
Would he have done that?0 -
I just have to wonder what would have happened if the roles were reversed?
Why would you book a photo-shoot knowing he would be self-conscious? This is an honest question.
Would he have done that?
I don't think I understand the question...?
We booked it together.
We do everything together.
I love him a lot, and I have no personal problem w/ his body - and he has no personal problem w/ mine.
I want to get in shape for myself so I can enjoy looking at all these pictures throughout the next 100 years.
I know he won't enjoy them as much if he doesn't do a little toning between now and then.
He admits that he should.
Just says he's too tired.
I'm confused, I think, by all the hostility.
Does anyone know how to delete the thread alltogether?0
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