Want fiance to lift... but... he isn't motivated.
Replies
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Ignore the hostility and all the trolls w/ their fancy gif googling ;-)
It's completely understandable that you want him to look his best. You're his freaking significant other! That's what SOs do! They support the one they love and want them to be happy, but also to be the best person they can be. That means being healthy mentally and physically.
She said that he USED to lift weights a lot, so she obviously knows he enjoys it! Seems like his only excuse is that he's tired after work. Does he have a lunch hour he can lift on? I eat at my desk then go to the gym during lunch, that way if I feel lazy at night I don't feel bad about skipping a workout in the evening.
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Hey.
I already know how badly this will turn out for me. I have prepped w/ a tarp for the tomato-throwing.
My fiance and I are getting married in Feb. He used to work out ALL the time, and did a moderate amount of body-building.
I'd like for him to do a little bit with that again between now and then for the wedding pictures - we're going to Miami for our honeymoon, and intend to do a photoshoot there.
That's what's motivating me to get the weight loss done!
I've mentioned it to him a few times, and he says he's too tired after work to work-out, and that he walks around all the time for work, so he doesn't need the cardio. (He's in car sales)
So, from the men in the room... (or ladies in similar situations):
How can I motivate him to do a little lifting between now and then? I'd just like him to tone up a little, but I don't want to hurt his feelings.
Well, you're such a cutie. I'm sure he'll respond just fine to your suggesting he get off of his lazy fat *kitten* and get into the gym. But still, make sure you really emphasize how you love him just the way he is BUT that he should do it for himself at your humble request. It'll be fine.....I'm certain he will not be even more self conscious. Oh, and if I dont get to talk to you before then, congrats on the marriage.....he's a lucky m'fer.
Thank you for the advice, compliment, understanding, and congratulations! 0 -
Ignore the hostility and all the trolls w/ their fancy gif googling ;-)
It's completely understandable that you want him to look his best. You're his freaking significant other! That's what SOs do! They support the one they love and want them to be happy, but also to be the best person they can be. That means being healthy mentally and physically.
She said that he USED to lift weights a lot, so she obviously knows he enjoys it! Seems like his only excuse is that he's tired after work. Does he have a lunch hour he can lift on? I eat at my desk then go to the gym during lunch, that way if I feel lazy at night I don't feel bad about skipping a workout in the evening.
:-) Thank you! 0 -
I am going to put my two cents in here. My wife is a fitness queen, teaches multiple classes, isn't happy unless she has worked out, etc. She has been trying to get me motivated to go to the gym/workout for years. Quite honestly, it bugs the heck out of me because I feel like she is criticizing me but I really know she isn't. I personally don't like going with her because I know I can't keep up with her in some areas. I can kick her butt at spinning though.
From my own experience, I would find something you can do for him that he loves which you don't do very often. Make his favorite dinner, buy him sports tickets, etc. After he goes to the gym with you get/do that thing for him. Don't tell him about the whole reward thing, just do it for him. If he asks why tell him but if he doesn't ask, don't bother.
I really do like the idea of asking him to go with you because you need his help. Guys like feeling needed.
Hope that helps a bit.0 -
I am going to put my two cents in here. My wife is a fitness queen, teaches multiple classes, isn't happy unless she has worked out, etc. She has been trying to get me motivated to go to the gym/workout for years. Quite honestly, it bugs the heck out of me because I feel like she is criticizing me but I really know she isn't. I personally don't like going with her because I know I can't keep up with her in some areas. I can kick her butt at spinning though.
From my own experience, I would find something you can do for him that he loves which you don't do very often. Make his favorite dinner, buy him sports tickets, etc. After he goes to the gym with you get/do that thing for him. Don't tell him about the whole reward thing, just do it for him. If he asks why tell him but if he doesn't ask, don't bother.
I really do like the idea of asking him to go with you because you need his help. Guys like feeling needed.
Hope that helps a bit.
Thanks!0 -
I don't think I understand the question...?
We booked it together.
We do everything together.
I love him a lot, and I have no personal problem w/ his body - and he has no personal problem w/ mine.
I want to get in shape for myself so I can enjoy looking at all these pictures throughout the next 100 years.
I know he won't enjoy them as much if he doesn't do a little toning between now and then.
He admits that he should.
Just says he's too tired.
I'm confused, I think, by all the hostility.
Does anyone know how to delete the thread alltogether?
Oh honey, people on these forums can be real A HOLES! I totally get your question. Don't worry about these people who are bored at work and have nothing better to do than put others down. I wish I could offer you a suggestion but my BF has no interest in working out so I have given up. Doesn't bother me and he isn't really bothered by how he looks in photos so it doesn't matter in my case. Don't delete the thread...you've gotten some good tips and hopefully more will come.0 -
Well, I could just be a douche and take what the F@ck I wanted. I am twice her size, but then you would say you would never be with a guy like that either. Me thinks you would never be with any guy like anything.... I am also confused on the statement of Castro would fear you, either you want a strong man who wont let you get away with *kitten* or you want a guy who wll cater to you, which is it. Either way I know what works for my marriage, love my wife, worhsip her like a Goddess, she is happy, I am happy and restreining orders don't have to be issued for me choking a Bltch out, which I could see me doing if I was married to you.
Speaking as a Pu$$y whipped husband, this techique works. My wife holds her kitty hostage like a miltant terrorist group to get what she wants, when she wants it bad enough. And, she doens't beat around the bush about it (pun intended) she will out right say, No more pu$$y unitl..... and shlt gets done!
As long as that works for your marriage. I wouldn't be married to a man like that. Fidel Castro would fear me, I'd be out of control.0 -
Well, I could just be a douche and take what the F@ck I wanted. I am twice her size, but then I you would say you would never be with a guy like that either. Me thinks you would never be with any guy like anything.... I am also confused on the statemen of Castro would fear you, either you want a strong man who wont let you get away with **** or you want a guy who wll cater to you, which is it. Either way I know what works for my marriage, love my wife, worhsip her like a Goddess, she is happy, I am happy and restreining orders don't have to be issued for choking a Bltch out, which I could see me doing if I was married to you.
Speaking as a Pu$$y whipped husband, this techique works. My wife holds her kitty hostage like a miltant terrorist group to get what she wants, when she wants it bad enough. And, she doens't beat around the bush about it (pun intended) she will out right say, No more pu$$y unitl..... and shlt gets done!
As long as that works for your marriage. I wouldn't be married to a man like that. Fidel Castro would fear me, I'd be out of control.
Like I said, as long as it works for you, Nancy 0 -
Well, I could just be a douche and take what the F@ck I wanted. I am twice her size, but then I you would say you would never be with a guy like that either. Me thinks you would never be with any guy like anything.... I am also confused on the statemen of Castro would fear you, either you want a strong man who wont let you get away with **** or you want a guy who wll cater to you, which is it. Either way I know what works for my marriage, love my wife, worhsip her like a Goddess, she is happy, I am happy and restreining orders don't have to be issued for choking a Bltch out, which I could see me doing if I was married to you.
Speaking as a Pu$$y whipped husband, this techique works. My wife holds her kitty hostage like a miltant terrorist group to get what she wants, when she wants it bad enough. And, she doens't beat around the bush about it (pun intended) she will out right say, No more pu$$y unitl..... and shlt gets done!
As long as that works for your marriage. I wouldn't be married to a man like that. Fidel Castro would fear me, I'd be out of control.
Like I said, as long as it works for you, Nancy
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Good god, the gifs on this thread are so full of win.0
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that it does, proves there is someone for everyone, well almost everyone.. sad face for you :sad: . no worries even though Castro is dead, I am sure he would have feared you.. good call on that one, Butch!
Well, I could just be a douche and take what the F@ck I wanted. I am twice her size, but then I you would say you would never be with a guy like that either. Me thinks you would never be with any guy like anything.... I am also confused on the statemen of Castro would fear you, either you want a strong man who wont let you get away with **** or you want a guy who wll cater to you, which is it. Either way I know what works for my marriage, love my wife, worhsip her like a Goddess, she is happy, I am happy and restreining orders don't have to be issued for choking a Bltch out, which I could see me doing if I was married to you.
Speaking as a Pu$$y whipped husband, this techique works. My wife holds her kitty hostage like a miltant terrorist group to get what she wants, when she wants it bad enough. And, she doens't beat around the bush about it (pun intended) she will out right say, No more pu$$y unitl..... and shlt gets done!
As long as that works for your marriage. I wouldn't be married to a man like that. Fidel Castro would fear me, I'd be out of control.
Like I said, as long as it works for you, Nancy
Now, let's play some more troll games, even if you obviously have the upper hand.0 -
that it does, proves there is someone for everyone, well almost everyone.. sad face for you :sad: . no worries even though Castro is dead, I am sure he would have feared you.. good call on that one, Butch!
Well, I could just be a douche and take what the F@ck I wanted. I am twice her size, but then I you would say you would never be with a guy like that either. Me thinks you would never be with any guy like anything.... I am also confused on the statemen of Castro would fear you, either you want a strong man who wont let you get away with **** or you want a guy who wll cater to you, which is it. Either way I know what works for my marriage, love my wife, worhsip her like a Goddess, she is happy, I am happy and restreining orders don't have to be issued for choking a Bltch out, which I could see me doing if I was married to you.
Speaking as a Pu$$y whipped husband, this techique works. My wife holds her kitty hostage like a miltant terrorist group to get what she wants, when she wants it bad enough. And, she doens't beat around the bush about it (pun intended) she will out right say, No more pu$$y unitl..... and shlt gets done!
As long as that works for your marriage. I wouldn't be married to a man like that. Fidel Castro would fear me, I'd be out of control.
Like I said, as long as it works for you, Nancy
Now, let's play some more troll games, even if you obviously have the upper hand.
Haha, you're pretty amusing. Tell me more about my life. You know so much!0 -
You cannot force someone do to something which requires such effort and mental focus as training if they don't want to.
Sorry, but he has to want to do it himself.
I agree with this guy. I would like for my hubby to care more about his health, too, but so far not a lot has changed.0 -
Good god, the gifs on this thread are so full of win.
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Well, obviously I am only guessing at most parts, since you are one of those super hot, in demand women that have to keep their profiles private, you know, to keep all the gawker stalker creepers away. Wtih that I can only summize from your responses that life has not been overly kind to you. I am so sorry if someone along the way has hurt your feelbads :flowerforyou:
that it does, proves there is someone for everyone, well almost everyone.. sad face for you :sad: . no worries even though Castro is dead, I am sure he would have feared you.. good call on that one, Butch!
Well, I could just be a douche and take what the F@ck I wanted. I am twice her size, but then I you would say you would never be with a guy like that either. Me thinks you would never be with any guy like anything.... I am also confused on the statemen of Castro would fear you, either you want a strong man who wont let you get away with **** or you want a guy who wll cater to you, which is it. Either way I know what works for my marriage, love my wife, worhsip her like a Goddess, she is happy, I am happy and restreining orders don't have to be issued for choking a Bltch out, which I could see me doing if I was married to you.
Speaking as a Pu$$y whipped husband, this techique works. My wife holds her kitty hostage like a miltant terrorist group to get what she wants, when she wants it bad enough. And, she doens't beat around the bush about it (pun intended) she will out right say, No more pu$$y unitl..... and shlt gets done!
As long as that works for your marriage. I wouldn't be married to a man like that. Fidel Castro would fear me, I'd be out of control.
Like I said, as long as it works for you, Nancy
Now, let's play some more troll games, even if you obviously have the upper hand.
Haha, you're pretty amusing. Tell me more about my life. You know so much!0 -
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Honestly, as funny as this thread is (and let me tell you, it is FUNNY!) if he doesn't have the motivation right now, you have to deal with that. YOU HAVE THE MOTIVATION. Keep going. He will see you doing all you're doing and be proud of you. THAT looks damn good on a man. And maybe your example will motivate him- but if it doesn't, don't bash him, don't pester him, don't lecture or nag him. You chose him. (well, almost) and you can still have a great time, amazing photos and a really fabulous life with the man you love that loves you back because of your support and devotion.
Best wishes for your wedding and honeymoon!0 -
Well, I could just be a douche and take what the F@ck I wanted. I am twice her size, but then you would say you would never be with a guy like that either. Me thinks you would never be with any guy like anything.... I am also confused on the statement of Castro would fear you, either you want a strong man who wont let you get away with *kitten* or you want a guy who wll cater to you, which is it. Either way I know what works for my marriage, love my wife, worhsip her like a Goddess, she is happy, I am happy and restreining orders don't have to be issued for me choking a Bltch out, which I could see me doing if I was married to you.
Speaking as a Pu$$y whipped husband, this techique works. My wife holds her kitty hostage like a miltant terrorist group to get what she wants, when she wants it bad enough. And, she doens't beat around the bush about it (pun intended) she will out right say, No more pu$$y unitl..... and shlt gets done!
As long as that works for your marriage. I wouldn't be married to a man like that. Fidel Castro would fear me, I'd be out of control.
HAH! damned funny. Glad you figured out how to make your marriage work.0 -
dump him. i'm sure you'll find someone else to put up with you.0
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dump him. i'm sure you'll find someone else to put up with you.
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dump him. i'm sure you'll find someone else to put up with you.
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dump him. i'm sure you'll find someone else to put up with you.
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Love him for who he is.
You can't force someone to stop smoking and you can't force someone to work out. He has to do it of his own accord.
If he's too tired after work, he damn well might be.
My man works the normal 40 hours a week but in a strenuous job, I wouldn't expect him to do anything extra if he didn't want to. If he's too tired to cook, I cook. If he got pepper spray backlash (he works security) and just wants to go to bed early than that's fine.
Maybe nurture your man a bit more and you'll find his confidence growing.
And I'm sure your stressing about a wedding makes it worse for him.0 -
Love him for who he is.
^^ This ^^
Also, I have to say that if my partner posted something like this about me on a public forum I'd be devastated (not that he ever would, but hypothetically). Does your fiance know about this thread? If he's ok with it, fine, each to their own. But I would find it really hurtful to be exposed like this. I don't mean for a moment that I think you're doing this out of spite, but just think about it. It just seems quite disrespectful to me, to be sharing these issues with countless strangers, especially since you've also referred to your fiance's own insecurities about his body - is he ok with you sharing this information about him?0 -
He has to want it, to do it. That being said I'd tell him, "Honey, I want lots and lots of wall sex on our honeymoon. We should hit up the gym together tonight."0
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dump him. i'm sure you'll find someone else to put up with you.
i... i think you're awesome.
now let your guy be himself.0 -
dump him. i'm sure you'll find someone else to put up with you.
i... i think you're awesome.
now let your guy be himself.
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If you want this to be a successful marriage with a happy husband, I suggest you learn now that you cannot force a man to do something they don't want. Don't be a nag, it isn't cute and you will only turn him off. Then he'll come to MFP and start sexting women who don't nag him and exchanging dirty photos. :laugh: If he wants to workout for your honeymoon, he will. If he doesn't, he won't. Let HIM decide how he wants to look. You say you want to be able to enjoy looking at shirtless photos forever of him? Wow. That sounded harsh.0
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Actually, I want him to do it bc he's really self-conscious about his body bc he has an abnormality in his ribcage caused by scoliosis and he felt a lot more confident when his arms were bigger....
So, it's not selfishly motivated in the least. I love his body the way it is. I don't care.
He's just going to be unhappy w/ the pictures. And I know it.
As much as
I suck at relationships, even I know you can never get him to believe that what you know is going to happen is, in fact, going to happen. And you aren't allowed to say I told you so when it does.
Try asking him to spot you. If he was helping you, he'd probably be enthusiastic.0
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