The 2 sides to MFP

beckajw

So on my home page under recent forums there was only:

- My progress so far.....
- In need of cheering up
- Finished 30 day shred
- Can't meet my fat requirements
- Tired all the time

I chose not to click on any of them. Just like I choose not to type hotornot into my address bar on the top of the page. Weight loss / fitness is all about choices, and yet people seem to not understand it. Boggles my mind. :ohwell:

I'd rather get rid of the ads for Herbalife, Safeway and Gastric Bypass surgery.

On the recent posts there were over half from Chit chat as there are now. So he clicked on chit chat

Not a good idea

I'm guessing it was probably later at night then? You are more likely to see those forums active later rather than during the day I'd imagine.

If he is serious about getting healthy and losing wieght then I think MFP speaks for itself if he is shown the food tracking system and other more helpful forums. If he decides not to use MFP based on chit-chat forums alone then it's an excuse and he's not ready, or maybe MFP is just not for him. :ohwell:

Not sure what time it was for the majority to be honest as from UK

His lack of interest could well be just an excuse not to use MFP, it's just that he seemed genuinly interested until he saw what he thought MFP was about - maybe it just wasn't what he was expecting?

I don't buy it. Most weight loss sites have a general/chit-chat type area and most of them have the same/similar content as MFP. I paid to see that stuff on Weight Watchers. I didn't let it bother me because I was there to do Weight Watchers and get healthier. I don't let it bother me here because it's free and I'm here to be healthy. To simply say "oh, not interested" after seeing a couple of posts that actually had no bearing on him whatsoever, that's just an excuse.

When you want to do it, you'll do it. No matter what.

Wonderob

Most recent topics now

Four pounds, 1.5 ounces of Godiva Chocolates

I can't do it

What is your Favorite Month/Time of year?

Any other Daddy's take their daughters on dates?

Lose 30 pounds by Christmas with me!

You could say that the first 2 topics are discouraging ... couldn't you? And they are on topic. You can't tell your friend weight loss and fitness is a walk in the park if he join MFP he will see how easy it is...it's not easy ... people go through life and WL in the same time ... he is not the only one who needs encourgement ... everything could discourge you ...not just the Chit Chat... this whole subject is not even about MFP...you can walk by the bakery and it's discourging, you can't tell people they can't walk in though or close the bakery. Sorry ... I've read this argument back and forth all day ... and I had to say something, but I'm done reading this thread ... it's frustrating. You can find excuses, but that's all they are excuses.

You missed 'check out my rack' the current new rate my thread

Im not disputing that he found an 'excuse' not to use MFP, I was just making the point that the first impression he got about MFP was wrong

I guess its a bit like telling someone about a new great TV show - and the first episode they watch is the worst one! Bit disappointing - I would have liked him to go to the site, see a great, motivating post, get super fit and always be thankful to me

penrbrown

It's a question of censoring. I don't go around telling people what they can and can't post, what they can and can't participate in. That's all. Do I EVER post in those rating threads, no. Do I want someone to come along and say we can't? Hell no. Where do we draw the line?

I'm just not that kind of dom...

That's a legitimate concern. But a line does have to be drawn. To keep quality up, someone has to say; These things should be here, these should be here and THIS, the main focus of the site, should be first and foremost.

FlaxMilk

I know someone who walks into the room and watches 10 seconds of what is on the tv and says, "That looks stupid" and walks out. I never take this person's opinion seriously on what not to watch unless she can give me some real reasons that tells me she spent more than a second on it. Maybe you are worrying too much about his opinions about how you spend your time? /devilsadvocate

Treesy72

This site is GREAT! You can find anything you are looking for, and after reading so many of the comments here I can see that's exactly what is happening. Some people are looking for support and love, and they find it. Some people just want to track their calories, and they can do that. Some people want to be fun and carefree with their time, and they get to do that. Some people want to motivate others, and they get to do that too. THEN there are people looking to find reasons to quit, and they find them.

I like to be the person who can do a little of everything, take the best of it, and allow other people to do their thing, because I enjoy my life most when they allow that of me. Peace is unattainable, but a decent step in the right direction is to find happiness rather than complain about the happiness that others have found.

I think this is my favorite response so far and I agree 100% :-) Click on what inspires you, whatever that may be. End of story.

yoovie

The 2 Sides to MFP:

The side where you blame others where ever you can, spend your time worrying about minutiae, and report everything you can.

And the awesome side, where you get fit, have fun, don't get butthurt, and make the kickassiest friends ever.

I'll stay on the awesome side, thanks. It was nice visiting over here. Oh, wait...no, not really.

I'm wondering who spends time worrying about the minutiae, and blaming others?

Well, I do. But I have a really boring office job with long periods of inactivity and nothing but me and the internet soo....

Yeah I know a lot of people like that too- they usually use that time for tricep dips and wall squats and walking lunges and stuff- when I saw AmberJSlimsAway starting those status challenges for boring down time at work, I got addicted, its pretty freaking awesome actually if you try to always one-up yourself at how many dips you do or something.

Lots more fun too than accidentally getting roped into internet arguments.

And its totally a mood booster!!!!!!

penrbrown

Yeah I know a lot of people like that too- they usually use that time for tricep dips and wall squats and walking lunges and stuff- when I saw AmberJSlimsAway starting those status challenges for boring down time at work, I got addicted, its pretty freaking awesome actually if you try to always one-up yourself at how many dips you do or something.

Lots more fun too than accidentally getting roped into internet arguments.

And its totally a mood booster!!!!!!

That's a really good idea! Thank you. I'll try it out. Plus it will give my poor brain a break. :P

Wonderob

. Maybe you are worrying too much about his opinions about how you spend your time? /devilsadvocate

There is a bit of that involved

BlueJean4114

just jumping in,
haven't read the pages of discussion,
but, i found out the hard way,
to avoid the chitchat area,
but ONE GOOD THING the chitchat threads provide for *me*,
is relief i AM older.

Even a quick scan of the chitchat threads, make me celebrate i am mature, and help me realize i am smarter than i'd been giving myself credit for.:laugh:

TO THE OP,
yes, yes, encourage your pal to reconsider MFP, as i do think it IS helpful place for those who want to learn about getting healthy and learning how to eat in healthier ways. He can gain some MFP pals to encourage him along, by joining in other areas of forums,
or
by joining various subgroups on MFP.


THE THREADS IN THE SUBGROUPS THAT I HAVE FOUND,
are VERY supportive and helpful. I feel wayyyyy more courage to discuss my progress and plans with JUST my MFP pals,
or on one of the subgroups i have joined. I have found subgroups for ppl with heart conditions, and subgroups for older women, so i can discuss plans without having body-builders think i am going for the same goals they are going for, too. (not yet, anyway)

Beastette

The 2 Sides to MFP:

The side where you blame others where ever you can, spend your time worrying about minutiae, and report everything you can.

And the awesome side, where you get fit, have fun, don't get butthurt, and make the kickassiest friends ever.

I'll stay on the awesome side, thanks. It was nice visiting over here. Oh, wait...no, not really.

I'm wondering who spends time worrying about the minutiae, and blaming others?

Well, I do. But I have a really boring office job with long periods of inactivity and nothing but me and the internet soo....

Yeah I know a lot of people like that too- they usually use that time for tricep dips and wall squats and walking lunges and stuff- when I saw AmberJSlimsAway starting those status challenges for boring down time at work, I got addicted, its pretty freaking awesome actually if you try to always one-up yourself at how many dips you do or something.

Lots more fun too than accidentally getting roped into internet arguments.

And its totally a mood booster!!!!!!

Awesome Side.

I'll tell you a secret...I don't click on the "rate" threads either. I don't knock anyone who may, though. Some people truly enjoy that sort of encouragement, and they are welcome to it. I like chit-chat. I like fun. I like games. I even like a worthwhile argument, when there is one to be found.

But I came here for strength, speed, agility, and endurance. That is always foremost in my thoughts when I log in to this site. I don't care if they started a section called "Men making out with their own reflections", I'm still here and logging in every single day. I'm still running a 7:30 mile, still squatting more than my body weight, still improving myself.

I'm sure your friend is great, but you imply that the content of a single section of the forums turned him off from all that was to be gained. That *is* blaming others.

jenbk2

I do go into the threads- but the positive side of MFP is the HUGE data base and calorie counter. That is reason enough to stick with this site.

Wonderob

I'm sure your friend is great, but you imply that the content of a single section of the forums turned him off from all that was to be gained. That *is* blaming others.

I'm sure if he rationally sat down and researched the site and weighed up the pros and cons then he would be in a position to make a valid judgement

Fact is he had never seen the site before, thought it might be a useful starting point for his weight loss - then saw loads of stuff that didn't appeal to him so jumped to the conclusion that it wasn't for him. A quick couple of minute browse of MFP forums with not much of anything that was of use

Not really blaming others - Im sure he just blames himself for the way he is.

I used to use the BBC football forum, when it ended i looked for another and spent a minute or two checking them out - if my first impression wasn't right then I moved on. I just think the first impression of MFP IN THIS INSTANCE wasn't good and he moved on - his loss in my opinion, which is a shame

Wonderob

I do go into the threads- but the positive side of MFP is the HUGE data base and calorie counter. That is reason enough to stick with this site.

Totally agree, I also find lots of interesting help and advice on the forums - if my first venture into MFP was in the chit chat section then I wouldn't have stayed, luckily I only found that after weeks of logging my food

penrbrown

I used to use the BBC football forum, when it ended i looked for another and spent a minute or two checking them out - if my first impression wasn't right then I moved on. I just think the first impression of MFP IN THIS INSTANCE wasn't good and he moved on - his loss in my opinion, which is a shame

Because of my work I have to go to advertising seminars all the time. One of the first things they teach us is that the first impression is EVERYTHING. No matter what you're selling, if people aren't sold in the first glance, they will move on. That's just the nature of the masses in North America.

Your message has to be powerful, memorable and quick.

Unfortunately, in this case, MFP's message ended up being memorable, powerful and quick... but not good.

Wonderob

I used to use the BBC football forum, when it ended i looked for another and spent a minute or two checking them out - if my first impression wasn't right then I moved on. I just think the first impression of MFP IN THIS INSTANCE wasn't good and he moved on - his loss in my opinion, which is a shame

Because of my work I have to go to advertising seminars all the time. One of the first things they teach us is that the first impression is EVERYTHING. No matter what you're selling, if people aren't sold in the first glance, they will move on. That's just the nature of the masses in North America.

Your message has to be powerful, memorable and quick.

Unfortunately, in this case, MFP's message ended up being memorable, powerful and quick... but not good.

It's not even a big part of MFP!

beckajw

I'm sure your friend is great, but you imply that the content of a single section of the forums turned him off from all that was to be gained. That *is* blaming others.

I'm sure if he rationally sat down and researched the site and weighed up the pros and cons then he would be in a position to make a valid judgement

Fact is he had never seen the site before, thought it might be a useful starting point for his weight loss - then saw loads of stuff that didn't appeal to him so jumped to the conclusion that it wasn't for him. A quick couple of minute browse of MFP forums with not much of anything that was of use

Not really blaming others - Im sure he just blames himself for the way he is.

I used to use the BBC football forum, when it ended i looked for another and spent a minute or two checking them out - if my first impression wasn't right then I moved on. I just think the first impression of MFP IN THIS INSTANCE wasn't good and he moved on - his loss in my opinion, which is a shame

Well, the only reason he got that first impression was because that is what you showed him. My first impression of MFP was signing up, reviewing the database, being given a calorie number. The forums came later. You should have allowed him to see it that way, if you wanted him to join.

But, who cares? If MFP isn't for him, it isn't for him. MFP isn't going to please everyone. No website is.

Wonderob

I'm sure your friend is great, but you imply that the content of a single section of the forums turned him off from all that was to be gained. That *is* blaming others.

I'm sure if he rationally sat down and researched the site and weighed up the pros and cons then he would be in a position to make a valid judgement

Fact is he had never seen the site before, thought it might be a useful starting point for his weight loss - then saw loads of stuff that didn't appeal to him so jumped to the conclusion that it wasn't for him. A quick couple of minute browse of MFP forums with not much of anything that was of use

Not really blaming others - Im sure he just blames himself for the way he is.

I used to use the BBC football forum, when it ended i looked for another and spent a minute or two checking them out - if my first impression wasn't right then I moved on. I just think the first impression of MFP IN THIS INSTANCE wasn't good and he moved on - his loss in my opinion, which is a shame

Well, the only reason he got that first impression was because that is what you showed him. .

Yeah I know - I meant to show him the Success stories' I think those would be great for him - fact is he just browsed around a bit and fell upon the part that wasn't for him - I genuinely think that MFP IS for him though - still do

penrbrown

It's not even a big part of MFP!

No. It isn't. But if it's turning people away it's not good.

FlaxMilk

It's not even a big part of MFP!

No. It isn't. But if it's turning people away it's not good.

Every website will turn some people away because it's not the right fit. No matter how good Longhorn's advertising is, they won't get me in the door, because I'm a strict vegetarian.

penrbrown

It's not even a big part of MFP!

No. It isn't. But if it's turning people away it's not good.

Every website will turn some people away because it's not the right fit. No matter how good Longhorn's advertising is, they won't get me in the door, because I'm a strict vegetarian.

This isn't that simple. If he's interested in weight loss but struggling with self esteem and needs more encouragement he CAN get that here. Unfortunately the 'advertising' he received convinced him there would be no support or encouragement at this place, just further judgment. That's a false representation. This place can be hugely motivating and encouraging.