The 2 sides to MFP

FlaxMilk

This isn't that simple. If he's interested in weight loss but struggling with self esteem and needs more encouragement he CAN get that here. Unfortunately the 'advertising' he received convinced him there would be no support or encouragement at this place, just further judgment. That's a false representation. This place can be hugely motivating and encouraging.

I agree--but I'm not convinced the advertising was the problem. Advertising can't absolutely control what's in the eye of the beholder, and in this case, this beholder chose to look at a small section of a big page, the rest of which is centered around diet and fitness. Maybe he really does need a site that is 100% for diet and fitness or doesn't allow any preening. That's ok--but that's definitely not this site, because the moderators do allow that stuff.

AwakenedInChrist

I was praising MFP to a friend the other day, explaining how good it was and how useful I had found it (He had noticed that I had lost weight and asked me about it), especially the support from everyone on these forums. He is very overweight and so self concious that he is reluctant to go to the gym, or even to weight watchers etc.

I explained that the ethic on MFP was that nobody judges and that everyone is equal including the very overweight - motivating stuff!

So he takes the mouse and clicks around the site. This is where it gets awkward. Clicks on 'Recent Posts' then on Chit Chat where most of the recent posts seemed to be from. here's what he saw:

Rate the person above you

What's sexy about the person above you?

The person above - part 4

Dear attractive men over 30

Who is your celebrity crush

Cutest thing about the person above you - part 7

Ladies, who would you rather have a one night stand with?

Hotest guy on MFP

etc etc

It was a little embarrassing to be honest. Seemed all that anyone was interested in on that side of MFP was how men look. I'm not overweight but I get an inferiority complex on there! - I can only imagine how someone with self-worth issues must feel! My friend went from excited and motivated, to crest-fallen and resigned in just a few clicks!

Polar opposites:
The support, advice, motivation of most of the MFP groups. Everyone is equal
The lustful, frenzied, man-crazy posts on Chit chat, where how someone looks is the only thing that seems to matter. You're rated on how sexy you look

I subscribe to the POV that if you don't like something, don't look, so I'm not suggesting that people shouldnt write what they want; just seems a pity to me that this part of MFP is inextricably linked to everything else.

beekuzz

I totally agree those threads are super stupid but that's why I don't click on them. You have to remember that there are a lot of teens on the site and lets face it when you're young all you think about is the opposite sex and how hot they may think you are. So I suppose let them have their fun, it doesn't hurt anyone.

True - doesnt hurt anyone. Does de-value the credibilty of MFP in some way though.

Absolutely agree with above and OP. There's no need for me to de-value myself or someone else. I'm trying to save my life and this is not that type of a game to me.

penrbrown

I agree--but I'm not convinced the advertising was the problem. Advertising can't absolutely control what's in the eye of the beholder, and in this case, this beholder chose to look at a small section of a big page, the rest of which is centered around diet and fitness. Maybe he really does need a site that is 100% for diet and fitness or doesn't allow any preening. That's ok--but that's definitely not this site, because the moderators do allow that stuff.

Hm. I wonder if OP should suggest he try SparkPeople instead? That place has a forum but I never could figure it out and the forum doesn't seem as big a part of the site over there.

Plus it has exercise articles that I think are pretty awesome. I hate the logging feature there but maybe if he's been scared away from MFP he could find SparkPeople helpful?

OP? Maybe suggest that to him? And suggest he avoid the forums?

DoomCakes

It's not even a big part of MFP!

No. It isn't. But if it's turning people away it's not good.

It happens. No two people are the same and will look for the same things. Where you may have seen "free calorie counting journal, great community" your friend may have seen something like "free journal with people more fit than me that will make me feel bad" or just something negative. I don't know what he saw. But it's true. You have a short window of time to make an impression, and it will be good, or bad. Best you can do is just tell him to use it more so for keeping track of his food and exercise and maybe refer a few friends his way to cheer him on so he doesn't even have to think of the forums.

djsupreme6

to me its just all a little fun as the forum suggests...no harm...and i'm nowhere near attention needy...simply a different side other then only posting fitness results and food diaries...as someone else said...a lot of people posts fake pics...some are motivational in my opinion...but others actually take compliments on how they look...like one I saw of a guy with a Shemar Moore body pic and got all kinds of compliments lol...and acted all modest too on his big time results lol

FlaxMilk

I agree--but I'm not convinced the advertising was the problem. Advertising can't absolutely control what's in the eye of the beholder, and in this case, this beholder chose to look at a small section of a big page, the rest of which is centered around diet and fitness. Maybe he really does need a site that is 100% for diet and fitness or doesn't allow any preening. That's ok--but that's definitely not this site, because the moderators do allow that stuff.

Hm. I wonder if OP should suggest he try SparkPeople instead? That place has a forum but I never could figure it out and the forum doesn't seem as big a part of the site over there.

Plus it has exercise articles that I think are pretty awesome. I hate the logging feature there but maybe if he's been scared away from MFP he could find SparkPeople helpful?

OP? Maybe suggest that to him? And suggest he avoid the forums?

I haven't spent any time on this site, but first impression is that it looks supportive: http://www.weightlossbuddy.com/forum/default1.asp

While MFP can be very supportive, there also is a lot of snark, which could be a turnoff for someone struggling too.

BPayton27

Meh. Chit Chat was probably not the best place to start poking around a forum. That area of the message board is for fun; there are plenty of other sections dedicated to motivation and weight loss. Wonder why he didn't click there first? I'd head straight to success stories, personally.

I have to agree though, those threads are pretty silly. There seems to be an abundance of single young people on this site. I've also noticed that a lot of men and women alike use it as a way to meet and hook up with people. Pretty smart, really. I mean, you know they're interested in fitness and are probably taking care of themselves lol.

I hope your friend looks around more this weekend. If he's that self conscious he may not be ready for the change. He could stay out of the forums and not post a picture of himself if that helps. The tools alone make it really, really worth it.

LorinaLynn

When I watch some kind of educational program on television, I see commercials for what I'd consider to be some total trash. "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo" comes to mind. :laugh:

That doesn't take away from the value of the show I'm watching. It just shows that there's more than one topic on television, even on that channel. That's what seeing thread titles on here is like. Commercials. You don't need to click them, just like I'm not going to watch Honey Boo Boo.

Now the one drawback for MFP, though, is that aside form the calorie tracking, all the content is user generated. Livestrong or Bodybuilding.com has articles (not saying they're 100% accurate), plus community forums. So I imagine most users would peruse the articles, use the site, then venture into the forums. Here, there's no "quality control." Anyone can post anything, within forum guidelines. So your chances of stepping into some doo-doo is a little higher.

If a friend of mine were to have the same concerns about the site as the OP's friend, I'd explain that like most forums, the chit chat area goes off topic and can get silly and even stupid at times. If that bothers you, stick with the on-topic forums.

hiawathaperez

Yes there is an awful lot of silly yada yada......BUT.......always with the big butt!!

Your friend has to develop a dogged determination to get this thing done for his health.

Looking at the words of a few random electronic impulses and using that as another
defeat before he gets started is equally as silly.

No EXCUSES....

Find friends who are in your age, interest and weight class.....that is where you will
be able to go though this thing together....

I will be a friend add me.

beckajw

It's not even a big part of MFP!

No. It isn't. But if it's turning people away it's not good.

Every website will turn some people away because it's not the right fit. No matter how good Longhorn's advertising is, they won't get me in the door, because I'm a strict vegetarian.

This isn't that simple. If he's interested in weight loss but struggling with self esteem and needs more encouragement he CAN get that here. Unfortunately the 'advertising' he received convinced him there would be no support or encouragement at this place, just further judgment. That's a false representation. This place can be hugely motivating and encouraging.

You're jumping to a conclusion that he believed he would get no support here and that is why he chose not to join the site.

Maybe he's just not that interested in weight loss.

If encouragement is what he's after, he clearly has a friend that can offer that.

penrbrown

You're jumping to a conclusion that he believed he would get no support here and that is why he chose not to join the site.

Maybe he's just not that interested in weight loss.

If encouragement is what he's after, he clearly has a friend that can offer that.

You're right. I am jumping to that conclusion.

AprilRN10

I just stay away from that stuff. Though I've only been a couple weeks, I'm not going anyplace. Perhaps show your friend some of your activity on the site?

Wonderob

I just stay away from that stuff. Though I've only been a couple weeks, I'm not going anyplace. Perhaps show your friend some of your activity on the site?

Crikey my petty arguments are enough to put anyone off! That's kinda my point see - if the first thing that people see when going on MFP is the type of things to which I was referring, OR indeed my arguing for example, then I think it gives the wrong impression of what MFP is about

From the massive responses to this topic I have kinda concluded that I was mostly to blame for not steering him to the useful stuff - the food database, the motivation posts, the success stories etc.

Instead he was free to stumble (a little too easily IMO) on all the fun, non-important, not useful, hormone fueled stuff in the chit chat section

SurfinBird1981

:flowerforyou: To everyone.

cmcollins001

:flowerforyou: To everyone.

Well, aren't you sweet.

SurfinBird1981

:flowerforyou: To everyone.

Well, aren't you sweet.

Indeed I am, I hope everyone has chilled the fudge out since last night :laugh:

cmcollins001

:flowerforyou: To everyone.

Well, aren't you sweet.

Indeed I am, I hope everyone has chilled the fudge out since last night :laugh:

Bottom line is, everyone walked away from this as they do with everything else on the internet...they're right,everyone who doesn't agree with them is wrong, nobody saw anybody else's point and after the 12th page everyone got bored with this topic and moved on to argue once again about eating back exercise calories.

SurfinBird1981

:flowerforyou: To everyone.

Well, aren't you sweet.

Indeed I am, I hope everyone has chilled the fudge out since last night :laugh:

Bottom line is, everyone walked away from this as they do with everything else on the internet...they're right,everyone who doesn't agree with them is wrong, nobody saw anybody else's point and after the 12th page everyone got bored with this topic and moved on to argue once again about eating back exercise calories.

:laugh:Ah, that old chestnut.

nannabannana

I TOTALLY AGREE. Thanks for the post:)