starvation mode and losing friends

windycitycupcake

Well, you already know how I feel about the amount of calories you eat. My problem, however, is not that you eat less than 1200 a day, it's that you do this consistently while burning more calories in exercise than you consume.

There are a lot of things about your weightloss plan that I am very supportive of. Your dedication thus far is fantastic, and I admire the amount of cardio you are putting in, despite also working a job.

I know you have said you will reevaluate your calorie consumption after you have lost a certain amount of weight. I urge you not to make a permanent habit of eating fewer calories than you burn in exercise. Because you can do harm to your body if you do it for too long.

thank you for saying this. you are right, you have been following my progress from the beginning. I want you to know I hear what you are saying and I appreciate you sticking around and giving support and constructive criticism.

windycitycupcake

I'll be really honest with you, and I don't mean for this to sound mean. I would be bothered by your cupcake picture more than anything. I struggle with trigger foods and don't watch Food Network anymore because it makes me crave things I don't eat. Seeing that icon in my feed all the time would keep cupcakes on my mind. For the same reason, I don't keep trigger foods in the house.

Crazy?

not crazy at all! i completely understand. i debated putting those photos up but i will say this: posting those photos is me facing my personal demons. I am a pastry chef and I have to be around all kinds of temptation all day long. I have to be able to be around these foods and not feel tortured or unhappy that i cannot have them.

the pastries are also my work, owning a bakery is my dream and my life's work so i put them up the same way someone would put up a photo of their pet or child. i am proud of them, it's part of who i am and what i do.

but i would totally understand why someone would not want a photo of cake rolling through their newsfeed every day. to be honest, i don't watch as much food network as i used to not because it makes me too hungry, but because it makes me want to go out and eat crazy foods and order pizzas and make pancakes. true story.

windycitycupcake

i encourage everyone to continue discussion, and i appreciate your comments but for now i decided to make my food diary available by password. if someone is friends with me and would like to see my diary they can just ask.

vjt1976

My calorie goal is 1200. Most day's I am also under my calories. I work out at the gym 6 days a week. I listen to my body not what others have to say! Feel free to add me if you like. I don't judge.

Alohathin

Well, you already know how I feel about the amount of calories you eat. My problem, however, is not that you eat less than 1200 a day, it's that you do this consistently while burning more calories in exercise than you consume.

There are a lot of things about your weightloss plan that I am very supportive of. Your dedication thus far is fantastic, and I admire the amount of cardio you are putting in, despite also working a job.

I know you have said you will reevaluate your calorie consumption after you have lost a certain amount of weight. I urge you not to make a permanent habit of eating fewer calories than you burn in exercise. Because you can do harm to your body if you do it for too long.

thank you for saying this. you are right, you have been following my progress from the beginning. I want you to know I hear what you are saying and I appreciate you sticking around and giving support and constructive criticism.

And thank you for taking my words the right way; as constructive, not instructive. Of course you have the right to do this thing however you like, and what works best for you. My only aim is to help make you aware of some "potential" dangers that you may or may not come across. And I do think that you understand them.

So...good workout for you today. Had a pretty good one myself. Going for another 2.5 miles a little later tonight to watch my brother perform at the local burger joint.

Keep up the good stuff!

windycitycupcake

After I got into the forums and discovered this 'unfriending' trend, I was glad I kept things private. I read threads (eg. "Why do some people keep their diaries private?") where it seemed a given that you must want other people poring over your diary and holding you accountable for deviations if you are using this app. Not saying that can't be useful for those who want it, but it seems a stretch to assume all should want that. For me, it would feel a bit intrusive, and it essentially translates into holding myself accountable to everyone's personal opinions on here, some of which I've discovered can be very rigid and narrow if concerning a personal hot button. Trying to meet my goals plus everyone else's is a dependable exercise in futility, for me.

'Friends' don't truly unfriend you (in real life) for being under your calorie goal on any given day. Only certain people online whose agenda is longer than their fuse might do that. If you choose to keep your diary open, just keep in mind there is a contingent on here who are anxious about eating disorders and being enablers to that, and who may in their zeal be too quick to judge.

agree ^

PS2CR

I'll be really honest with you, and I don't mean for this to sound mean. I would be bothered by your cupcake picture more than anything. I struggle with trigger foods and don't watch Food Network anymore because it makes me crave things I don't eat. Seeing that icon in my feed all the time would keep cupcakes on my mind. For the same reason, I don't keep trigger foods in the house.

Crazy?

not crazy at all! i completely understand. i debated putting those photos up but i will say this: posting those photos is me facing my personal demons. I am a pastry chef and I have to be around all kinds of temptation all day long. I have to be able to be around these foods and not feel tortured or unhappy that i cannot have them.

the pastries are also my work, owning a bakery is my dream and my life's work so i put them up the same way someone would put up a photo of their pet or child. i am proud of them, it's part of who i am and what i do.

but i would totally understand why someone would not want a photo of cake rolling through their newsfeed every day. to be honest, i don't watch as much food network as i used to not because it makes me too hungry, but because it makes me want to go out and eat crazy foods and order pizzas and make pancakes. true story.

Your work is beautiful! And for me, at this stage, it is reinforcing to be able to look at these lovely foods that might have tempted me earlier, and no longer feel tempted.

jazee11

I don't often agree with the way others spend their calories and there are tons of people that would scoff at my diary entries. I would not unfriend anyone due to do what they log in their diary. Basically, I am here for me. I want to better myself. If somebody only wants to eat 800 calories of twinkies that is fine with me. I may not agree with this behavior. I am on MFP so I can get healthy. All of the other peeps that have friended me are just icing on my cake.

geebusuk

I've read some research on it. I'll have to relocate it when I have time. There are a ton of articles out there that don't cite any scientific sources, and it's a little difficult to weed through them to find the ones that are backed by research. I'll try to do that in the next day or so.

Cheers. No rush, but I am genuinely interested.
For maybe a couple of months I ate 1300 calories while easily burning more than that a lot of the time.
I didn't noticeably lose muscle and didn't find any other health problems.
In the past I've had periods where I've done 1000-1400 in the week (more at weekends), going to the gym every day in the week and often doing active stuff at the weekends and managed to lose fat and gain muscle at the same time with no obvious ill effects.

ravengirl1611

I 've read all the posts so far to this thread and the one thing that annoys me is the 1200 calories being assumed to be the perfect quantity for every person out there - as we all know we are all different.

I have a friend who has what some people consider horrible eating habits and I can only imagine the comments she would elicit on here if she was on here. She only ever eats once a day and maybe and I stress the maybe eats 600-700 cal / day - she's 5'8, 126lbs works out 3x/wk minimum and is incredibly healthy and fit

for her that quantity of calories works - for me I wouldnt last 4 hours on that - Im also 2 inches shorter and and 125lbs heavier - right now and I'll stress again - right now I should (according to calculations) be eating 2200 or so cals / day - for me - that's wayyyy too much food unless Im eating nothing but junk and the calories are adding up quickly - I simply can not eat that much - I feel best, have the most energy and the least problem eating between 1600 & 1800 cals / day - my diary is set to 1600 - and if today I had 1500 cals - great - if tomorrow I had 1700 cals - that's great too -

WHEN I reach my goal weight/inches I should be down to 1000 - 1200 cals / day and I'll see at that time if that works for me - I may still be at 1600 / day

I guess my point is there is no one magic quantity of calories that works for every single person out there just like a job, choice of wardrobe, choice of partner - whatever - what works for you - probably doesnt work for me - it's one of the many wonderful things that makes us individuals, unique and awesome in our own ways.

kiachu

I 've read all the posts so far to this thread and the one thing that annoys me is the 1200 calories being assumed to be the perfect quantity for every person out there - as we all know we are all different.

I have a friend who has what some people consider horrible eating habits and I can only imagine the comments she would elicit on here if she was on here. She only ever eats once a day and maybe and I stress the maybe eats 600-700 cal / day - she's 5'8, 126lbs works out 3x/wk minimum and is incredibly healthy and fit

for her that quantity of calories works - for me I wouldnt last 4 hours on that - Im also 2 inches shorter and and 125lbs heavier - right now and I'll stress again - right now I should (according to calculations) be eating 2200 or so cals / day - for me - that's wayyyy too much food unless Im eating nothing but junk and the calories are adding up quickly - I simply can not eat that much - I feel best, have the most energy and the least problem eating between 1600 & 1800 cals / day - my diary is set to 1600 - and if today I had 1500 cals - great - if tomorrow I had 1700 cals - that's great too -

WHEN I reach my goal weight/inches I should be down to 1000 - 1200 cals / day and I'll see at that time if that works for me - I may still be at 1600 / day

I guess my point is there is no one magic quantity of calories that works for every single person out there just like a job, choice of wardrobe, choice of partner - whatever - what works for you - probably doesnt work for me - it's one of the many wonderful things that makes us individuals, unique and awesome in our own ways.

How do you know she is healthy or how many calories she eats a day in and out. There are people that eat like that most days then have a large refeed on other days so it balances out? Physical fitness or aesthetic fitness is not an indicator of internal health. She could be doing fine now but something inside is being depressed and is breaking.

bcattoes

One of my friends eats under 1000 calories every day. If she asked I would advise her to eat more, but she eats healthy and has been losing consistently and most importantly, she didn't ask, so I just offer what support I can and let her find her own path.

But some people only like to have friends that eat and think like them. They should probably make that clear when sending or accepting a friend request, then things like this wouldn't happen.

heyshell79

Don't let the turkey get you down, you sound like a responisble woman with a difficult schedule, I say you're doing just fine.

Ljordan_fitflow

i agree with the post below!!! I will add to this some people can eat over 2200 calories and some how still lose weight. congrats to them.. Not everyone can follow the USDA and FDA nutrition guidelines..and if the nutrition guidelines were perfect then obesity wouldn't be an epidemic in America.. I will emphasize that every "body" is different. If 1200 calories works for you then do what is working for "you" because this is what matter most and not what people think. when i started my weight loss journey 8 months I was definitely at the 1200 calorie mark and now that i'm where i want to be i stay around 1400-1600 to maintain because this is what works for me. i eat healthy and get proper nutrients... i don't eat 1400-1600 calories of junk.

oh and you can add me by the way....

I found your post very interesting. I have not been on here a month yet and this disturbs me. I thought the message boards were meant for encouragement and support not critiquing and judgement.

You are the only person that can understand what works for your body. Congratulations on all your achievements thus far. I think you are awesome for doing the best job under the circumstances you have to work under.

I hope one day to say that I have 50 pounds left to lose!!!

Don't worry about the ones that leave, they just leave room for the ones that matter most.

sarbar71

i try to never place judgement on people's good choices or calorie intake. Many of my friends eat under 1200 calories but they eat healthy as you do. Who am I to judge? That said, I did unfriend someone due (in part) to their calorie intake. She consistently ate around 600-700 calories per day and exercised off about 800 or more. She finished every day in the negatives. I offered her encouragement and someone to talk to if she needed it. The truth is, I have struggled with disordered eating patterns in the past and have lived at both extremes of the weight scale - but I have never had a HEALTHY relationship with food. My goal is to learn to eat and diet in a healthy fashion, free of starving myself AND binging. Our goals were obviously very different - she was much younger than me, she was underweight and starving herself intentionally, whereas I need to lose weight and am trying to become healthy. I offered her kind words and encouragement frequently, and never once did she reciprocate. In a nutshell . . there are many reasons people unfriend someone; try not to take it personally. Perhaps you two had nothing in common, perhaps she felt your MFP relationship was one sided, perhaps she used to struggle with an eating disorder. I wish this person that I unfriended the best, but just did not feel with my history that I could provide her with the encouragement for her eating disorder that she was looking for.

kiachu

My issue is the chronic use of "What works". For most people eating very low in calories will "work" in terms of weight loss. For the majority of people it will "work" regardless of the meter of which it will work. I will lose weight on 1500 calories and I will lose weight on 500 calories. Both will work. My concern is not what is "working" but what it is "doing" There are certain biological truths that feelings and pom poms and "you go girls" can't undo. And just because something is "working" on the outside doesn't mean its not "doing" something on the inside that you can't diagnose or quantify until it is too late. And then as we see time and time again the "What works" stops working because the "too late" happened. And that "too late" can be different from person to person of when, how, and how hard it will hit them.

ravengirl1611

I 've read all the posts so far to this thread and the one thing that annoys me is the 1200 calories being assumed to be the perfect quantity for every person out there - as we all know we are all different.

I have a friend who has what some people consider horrible eating habits and I can only imagine the comments she would elicit on here if she was on here. She only ever eats once a day and maybe and I stress the maybe eats 600-700 cal / day - she's 5'8, 126lbs works out 3x/wk minimum and is incredibly healthy and fit

for her that quantity of calories works - for me I wouldnt last 4 hours on that - Im also 2 inches shorter and and 125lbs heavier - right now and I'll stress again - right now I should (according to calculations) be eating 2200 or so cals / day - for me - that's wayyyy too much food unless Im eating nothing but junk and the calories are adding up quickly - I simply can not eat that much - I feel best, have the most energy and the least problem eating between 1600 & 1800 cals / day - my diary is set to 1600 - and if today I had 1500 cals - great - if tomorrow I had 1700 cals - that's great too -

WHEN I reach my goal weight/inches I should be down to 1000 - 1200 cals / day and I'll see at that time if that works for me - I may still be at 1600 / day

I guess my point is there is no one magic quantity of calories that works for every single person out there just like a job, choice of wardrobe, choice of partner - whatever - what works for you - probably doesnt work for me - it's one of the many wonderful things that makes us individuals, unique and awesome in our own ways.

How do you know she is healthy or how many calories she eats a day in and out. There are people that eat like that most days then have a large refeed on other days so it balances out? Physical fitness or aesthetic fitness is not an indicator of internal health. She could be doing fine now but something inside is being depressed and is breaking.

I know because we've been best friends for over 25 years and because we talk - like a lot of best friends in some ways we know each other better than we know ourselves. Do I like or approve of her eating habits - not always - but they work for her.

SHHitsKaty

I found when I had my calories set to 1200 that I was pretty much starving myself and that I wasn't losing weight because my body wasn't getting enough to eat, upped mine to 1450 and what do you know? Weight is coming off, I feel better, I don't feel hungry or ashamed that I went over the 1200 because I was starving by 6pm.

Everything works differently for everyone, not one persons body is made up like someone else, so what works for you may not be the best for someone else.

Also, I'm 25, 5'4 and currently 135 lbs and trying to get down to 120.

korygilliam

Don't have enough time to read all, so someone may have already posted...

It is better to not have a consistant intake everyday. Cycling/zig zaging your net makes it where your body doesn't become accustomed to the new net intake as easily and, therefore, prevents your body from attempting to work better with the fewer calories (slowing down your metabolism, no...this isn't the same as starvation mode).

Just keep an eye on your weekly net average (is easy on the phone app) and make sure that your high and low days are averaging out to be around your daily net goal. I have done this for a long time and it makes it not feel so much like a diet and more like a sustainable process.

rosalia159

So basically, they are not your friend! They should have been happy for your success...we are a society that uses the word "friend" too loosely!