Inappropriate work attire...*shudder*

kennethmgreen

So...there's a lady at work...she annoys me a little in the first place, but she's nice enough.

She's 50ish...probalby mid 50's. She (twice now) wears this sweater...it is low cut, first of all...and has a VERY open weave pattern at the top.

I do not want to seem mean...but honestly the sweater is borderline inappropriate. It shows off a large amount of cleavage...and then the weave pattern...I mean I can see what color bra she has on. And I do mean it reveals the entire bra...you can see more than I think is appropriate ouside the home let alone at the work place.

Anyone else get in this situation?I feel like I can't look in that direction...it's so awkward.

*edited because...:I should preface that this is a medical environment...not casual...even if it was....*

PS: not looking for advice on what to do about it...more seeing if anyone else has been in a simliar situation. THanks.

I don't think what she's wearing is the issue. Deal with the real problem. It's in the first sentence you wrote.

EvgeniZyntx

When I was much younger i worked for a small company that had a very cute managing director. We were 10 guys in the shop floor, a few sales people, a mech. engineer and myself - I was a post-doc researcher, but I did prosthetic hip design and most of the medical marketing material. My work kept me mostly with the the shop floor and the sales team - design/testing/validation was handled via notes from the engineer because his French was poor and his English only acceptable in writing, plus he disliked interacting face to face with people.

The shop guys would come in early and then every once in a while one of them would tell me - "You have a meeting with the boss today" - I wouldn't know because these were rather informal. But every time the guys said this there would be a lot of smirking and laughter and I was expected to report by the end of the day if a) there had been a meeting b) the duration. Sure enough, this guy was almost always right and there were bets going on this. Why?

The very cute boss wore rather flimsy shirts and lovely lace bras on any of these days. This was completely inappropriate office wear and very distracting but aside from knowing how to ruffle my feathers, she was a master of keeping an appropriate working distance and we always used formal speech ("vous"). She owner, me monkey.

___

Many years later, I've taken both sales reps and my own team to task for dressing poorly. Take something to HR? Why? There is no need to make a production out it.

vim_n_vigor

I've seen people wear sweaters like that. It doesn't bother me, nor do I find it awkward to look at them. I'm not looking at someone's breast area when I look at them, and even if I was, I know what bras look like, and it's not shocking to me to glimpse one through the holes of a crocheted sweater. Such sweaters were very fashionable a few years ago - everyone was wearing them.

No....but it may shock some of the elderly people that live here.

Their eyesight is too bad.

AnninStPaul

The nicest thing a colleague ever did was walk in and hand me a safety pin, with this line: "you're showing more lingerie than I think you want to". I hadn't realized I was gapping.

JennaM222

If it is a place where clients are in and out then yes, it is not appropriate.

homerjspartan

WOW Look how many posts this got...

Never had a thread this popular...

Put a post up on fitness questions and get 11 responses.....

Put a thread up that in some way references boobs and the whole world chimes in.

Personally I am disgusted that someone would wear this sweater at work. Terrible. And the crude responses of the men on this site. I mean men in general should not judg.. ........ sorry I got distracted by the great rack that just walked by.... where was I?

AnninStPaul

Take something to HR? Why? There is no need to make a production out it.

There is the risk that the co-worker takes the feedback as harassment, particularly if they are of the opposite sex. For CYA purposes, many managers/coworkers would either ask HR to have the conversation or to provide some guidance on what to say and how to say it.

Jellyphant

Not really serious enough to get HR involved, imo, but it does teeter on the edge of being unprofessional, no matter how rockin' her rack is. Work is work. I personally wouldn't mind but if it affected clientele of the employees looking trashy or whatever, I'm sure the manager would have the decency to say something.

PhiliciousCurves

Go to HR.

You dont go to HR because of a sweater..come on people, chill.

Don't think HR is the best place to go. Why? First of all, there are quite a few employees in HR that has worn something worse. I mean, I'm a woman and even I'm embarrassed when I speak with them, because all I see is cleavage looking back at me! :blushing: Secondly, I work in HR and I work in a medical facility. As a matter of fact, I'm one of the individuals to talk to when things of this nature (or worse, and yes there is worse) takes place in the work environment..

Although, you did not ask what to do in your case, but if it continues to happen, you may just want to mention something to her regarding her wardrobe in a very polite way. Besides, maybe she's unaware how it looks to others.

saverys_gal

A little bra doesn't bug me...however I work with a girl fresh out of college, she's about 3 years my junior and she has clearly never had an office job, nor did mommy ever tell her what was work appropriate. This gal has come in in SHORTS...not capris but skintight right under the *kitten* cheek length shorts. She favors dresses as well...and they are all mid thigh length. She can't bend or stoop or even sit down and cross her legs without showing herself. I find it beyond inappropriate and kind of yuck on some level...but I'm not her boss or HR. One day it's going to bother someone that matters and she'll be taken to task for it. I keep my trap shut because it's not my job, plus it's more fun just to be amused by what she wears from day to day.

ETA: I work in a financial environment-so the dress code is most definitely conservative business casual. Hoochie dresses are not what clients and vendors need to be seeing!

frando

I work in a department store and sometimes get a few comments about the amount of cleavage I have on show. To be fair I have a large chest, 38FF/G and to a point I can't help it. I am proud of what I do have, mainly as it helps balance out my large pear shaped self. If someone does say it's unsuitable I have a handy scarf available to add a bit of coverage- I've got a large collection and knit up ones to suit tops.

abcmom03

Glad she IS wearing a bra :laugh:

Nina2503

I see your point as in work clothing should be appropriate to the environment, as we are there to work not look like we are going on a night out, I worked somewhere once where it was a case of who could out do who on the fashion stakes, quite funny really as I imagined everyone spent their salary on work clothes! It was like London fashhion week!

To be honest though life is too short to get hung up about it, maybe its just me but I would be more concerned about the quality of her work and whether she pulled her weight rather and if it impacted me in anyway rather than what she was wearing?

if its that bad Hr or her manager will address it eventually, most companies have 'limits'

frando

A little bra doesn't bug me...however I work with a girl fresh out of college, she's about 3 years my junior and she has clearly never had an office job, nor did mommy ever tell her what was work appropriate. This gal has come in in SHORTS...not capris but skintight right under the *kitten* cheek length shorts. She favors dresses as well...and they are all mid thigh length. She can't bend or stoop or even sit down and cross her legs without showing herself. I find it beyond inappropriate and kind of yuck on some level...but I'm not her boss or HR. One day it's going to bother someone that matters and she'll be taken to task for it. I keep my trap shut because it's not my job, plus it's more fun just to be amused by what she wears from day to day.

ETA: I work in a financial environment-so the dress code is most definitely conservative business casual. Hoochie dresses are not what clients and vendors need to be seeing!

There was a girl at the store I work in who'd wear only one of those under *kitten* skirts, a black large-lace patterned top with a tiny black bra on- a customer propositioned her and she shouted out 'How dare you I'm no *kitten*!' then her supervisor turned round and said just as loudly 'you're dressed like one'. She got promptly fired after an incident involving same skirt (which she was told to get a more appropriate one after the *kitten* incident) and a pink thong!

akoivisto

I see folks saying, "Deal with it." and others saying, "Bring it to HR." etc. etc.

I see it as this; how is affecting the company. That is the only result I'd be looking at; if it was a 40 year old male wearing super tight crotch pants and he worked with customers on a personal level; I'm pretty sure his manager would tell him to kick the leopard skins and get some nice dress slacks that don't look like a second skin.

I've worked in call centers were half the people dressed like they just got out of bed or off the set of Trailer Park Boys, and in more formal settings where everyone wears a tie and dress pants. To each their own; but pending on the business? Bring it to HR or don't. It won't change until an employee says something, or a customer is offended.

hellokathy

I...don't see the problem, I'm sorry. With today's fashion, some pieces are made so you can see the underwear and it's totally classy (as long as they're not wearing a Winnie the Pooh bra underneath...).

I don't think the problem is what any customers / clients / patients will think. If that was the case, you could just sit back and wait till one of them complains and then your coworker has to deal with that. I think in this, you're the one who has a problem with it. Which is fine, everyone has a different idea of what's "too personal". But then the appropriate thing to do would be to approach her and tell her it makes you feel uncomfortable when you can see her bra or anything else that seems too intimate or inappropriate to you and then you can work it out.

I'm pretty open-minded about these things. I wear what I want, I don't hide my tattoos, don't take out my piercing. No one here minds. But if they did and they went to HR to complain about it without talking to me first and I got in trouble because they have a problem with it which we could have talked about and maybe solved peacefully...man, I would be pissed!

dkkwilson

I don't know if anyone else has suggested this, but go to HR. It is the right thing to do.

*for those without a sense of humor, please note sarcasm dripping from the above*

opuntia

I've seen people wear sweaters like that. It doesn't bother me, nor do I find it awkward to look at them. I'm not looking at someone's breast area when I look at them, and even if I was, I know what bras look like, and it's not shocking to me to glimpse one through the holes of a crocheted sweater. Such sweaters were very fashionable a few years ago - everyone was wearing them.

No....but it may shock some of the elderly people that live here.

I'm sure it may. Just as what you're wearing in your profile pic could shock some elderly people. And a tattoo on someone's ankle or wrist may shock some elderly people. Personally, I don't find it awkward to look at things that may potentially shock some elderly people. You were talking about the fact that you found it awkward to look at, and asking for our experiences, so I was saying that I don't find it awkward to look at and explaining why.

Besides, I find elderly people are a lot more shock-resistant than people tend to assume! They've seen way more than younger people have. In my experience, it's often the younger or middle aged people who disapprove of something, and they use the elderly people as their reason - but the elderly people tend to be far more chilled! If the elderly people are shocked, they are quite capable of complaining for themselves.

saverys_gal

A little bra doesn't bug me...however I work with a girl fresh out of college, she's about 3 years my junior and she has clearly never had an office job, nor did mommy ever tell her what was work appropriate. This gal has come in in SHORTS...not capris but skintight right under the *kitten* cheek length shorts. She favors dresses as well...and they are all mid thigh length. She can't bend or stoop or even sit down and cross her legs without showing herself. I find it beyond inappropriate and kind of yuck on some level...but I'm not her boss or HR. One day it's going to bother someone that matters and she'll be taken to task for it. I keep my trap shut because it's not my job, plus it's more fun just to be amused by what she wears from day to day.

ETA: I work in a financial environment-so the dress code is most definitely conservative business casual. Hoochie dresses are not what clients and vendors need to be seeing!

There was a girl at the store I work in who'd wear only one of those under *kitten* skirts, a black large-lace patterned top with a tiny black bra on- a customer propositioned her and she shouted out 'How dare you I'm no *kitten*!' then her supervisor turned round and said just as loudly 'you're dressed like one'. She got promptly fired after an incident involving same skirt (which she was told to get a more appropriate one after the *kitten* incident) and a pink thong!

That is exactly what I'm thinking will happen in the future and I will be waiting patiently for that day. I'm just not sure where people's common sense is anymore.

frando

A little bra doesn't bug me...however I work with a girl fresh out of college, she's about 3 years my junior and she has clearly never had an office job, nor did mommy ever tell her what was work appropriate. This gal has come in in SHORTS...not capris but skintight right under the *kitten* cheek length shorts. She favors dresses as well...and they are all mid thigh length. She can't bend or stoop or even sit down and cross her legs without showing herself. I find it beyond inappropriate and kind of yuck on some level...but I'm not her boss or HR. One day it's going to bother someone that matters and she'll be taken to task for it. I keep my trap shut because it's not my job, plus it's more fun just to be amused by what she wears from day to day.

ETA: I work in a financial environment-so the dress code is most definitely conservative business casual. Hoochie dresses are not what clients and vendors need to be seeing!

There was a girl at the store I work in who'd wear only one of those under *kitten* skirts, a black large-lace patterned top with a tiny black bra on- a customer propositioned her and she shouted out 'How dare you I'm no *kitten*!' then her supervisor turned round and said just as loudly 'you're dressed like one'. She got promptly fired after an incident involving same skirt (which she was told to get a more appropriate one after the *kitten* incident) and a pink thong!

That is exactly what I'm thinking will happen in the future and I will be waiting patiently for that day. I'm just not sure where people's common sense is anymore.

She was in the coffee shop of the store so its not like she wasn't bending over. Alot of the younger lasses and lads, the weekenders or straight out of school/college/uni and I have no idea how they get away with their outfits. The host store (as I'm concession) have only got the rule of 'black' for uniform and I get so many comments about how unprofessional they look! LBDs are very popular with the ladies and even the new 'cut out' ones! I'd be murdered where I stand if I wore of them!

I have to wear office wear in my role- a shirt or blouse and black skirt/trousers. After there was a slight complaint about my boobage my manager (who is lovely) said to come in with the new outfit on a cover shift. Two reasons; one she'd see it and give a constructive opinion and I wouldn't be there the whole day. There are times when it's complete accident, before I joined there was a manager before mine and she didn't realise that her shirt was as see through under the bright shop lights and her confidence went down the drain.