I'm everyone's soul mate, until they realize I'm curvy!
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This!No one is your soul mate if you haven't even met them yet.
Also, what kind of people are you adding on fb? I tend to keep mine pretty private and only add those I want to hear from. I have no issue denying a fr from someone I don't know or hardly know. So I don't end up with *kitten* on my list like this. At least not those I didn't already know were *kitten* and that's part of their charm. Guess I treat it differently. Did these guys really never give any indication?0 -
I'm starting to think that all the men in the world are divided into two groups chubby chasers and trophy chasers.
And they are all smartasses
They're not!!! Men are fantastic!!! Don't tar them all with the one brush!0 -
After my divorce in 2006, I went through the same exact thing. Men telling me that they could fall in love with, we meet for dinner or a movie, and suprise, "you just are not my type." It destroyed my self-esteem. But, as time has gone by, I thank them for their ridiculousness....They were not my type. I prefer a man to love me for me, not the exterior package. My looks can change, their ugly personality flaws cannot!0
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be proud of your curves real women have curves
Amen!!! This ^^
Some men can be shallow. Just be glad you see the real them on the first meeting so you don't have to waste anymore of your time.
Some men can be shallow? So can some women it seems.
so me saying I think women with curves look good makes me swallow?????0 -
God I think I love you.Real women have vaginas. The end. Do any of you think before you type? Ever? Calling thin or fit women "bones/sticks/NOT WOMEN" is just as offensive as calling a fat woman 'rotund.'
I'll second that!
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I have the same problem. I find that guys are very interested in me when we meet online. We find we have a lot in common and everything is going great, then we meet and I am no longer girlfriend material, or they ask for a full body pic since all mine are only face pics and that's the last I hear from them (had one be very rude about my size). I do find it interesting that these same guys have no problem asking for sex with my curvy self but not good enough to date, are they crazy! LOSERS! I do give every guy the benefit of the doubt because I know there are really good guys out there that are decent good guys. Sadly it seems I am still wading through the losers.0
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You should consider e-harmony lol, and not Facebook.0
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You should consider e-harmony lol, and not Facebook.
eHarmony is only for the straight and Christian.0 -
Also, FFS people! Unless you are 2 dimensional, you've got curves! Get the eff over it!0
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There are so many superficial people in this world. Why let them bother you. If someone has an issue with your ‘curves’ and age great less time wasted on that creep. Concentrate on your wellbeing and ignore the rest. If a good life time partner is in the future you will meet and be accepted regardless of your age, size, color and texture. Don’t waste your time trying to change who you are to please someone who will discard yourself worth later in life. Being single isn’t as bad as you may want to believe!0
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Dating is Like Baseball
What do I mean? Well, you play because you like to...well, you know what I mean. In baseball, even the best hitters are not successful in getting a hit the majority of the time. Some of the best averages are just getting a hit over thirty percent.
Finding your soul mate can be even a bit tougher, so if you strike out a bunch, keep your head high and your eye on your target. Be determined to not settle for something you're not looking for just because. Keep looking till you find what you really want. This is a life decision...and it's not meant to just toss it back to the pitcher...so choose your balls carefully (sorry, just can't help myself putting a little humor in here...you just have to know me...to love me).
Look, I can't speak for all men, but women do the same thing, just perhaps not in the same way (ladies, help me out here).
1. To the person who replied to you "Don't meet men/people through the internet" - I disagree completely with this. I've had the opportunity over the years to meet just a few people over the internet. All of them exceptional folks. I'm picky, but I've never met one that wasn't worth meeting. Most of them are still quality friends today. There are risks everywhere in life. You just have to be careful and get to know someone first.
2. Be honest - Most relationships (whether internet or in person) may start putting your best foot forward. We all know this. This is why it's important to get to know the person and let them / you open up and see how much they care to share with you. I want people in my life that are honest even when it's not pretty. I don't expect them to tell me everything in the beginning, but as we get to know eachother I want to feel like I can trust them with everything including my health, my parent's, and major life decisions.
3. Be Proud of who you are. If you're shy, you're shy. If you're quiet, you're quiet. At this point in your life you're an adult. You know (hopefully) a lot about yourself. Be honest with yourself and with others. If your profile photo keeps turning men on, but they don't come around when they see the curvy you, I know that hurts, and it doesn't make it right. However, to defend the jerks (and I hate doing this) - we all have an idea of what we want. We all know this. Yes, when we find our soul mate, it might not be an image we had, but it doesn't matter. If these guys are feeling like you are their soul mate, but change their mind, then clearly they are getting some idea that's very different from what they get when they meet you.
4. Photos: Body Shots: Looks: Superficial things - Part of the great thing about losing weight, getting into shape, etc...is not only are you making a healthier you - for you - and your life will be higher quality - you'll enjoy it better and that attitude will show.
I've seen and felt it myself. Part of the reason I started MFP is I was no longer feeling the looks of the opposite sex. I walked down the hall and felt I had melted into oblivion. When I was in high school and college and beyond that's not how it went. I was an athelete. I had lots of male and female friends. It's just the way it is. My personality didn't change. So what's up? Since MFP I can say things changed and I no longer feel like Casper the Ghost. I love the fact that guys from their mid 20's to 60's want to hang out, go to the gym, do Sprints or Mini-Tri's with me - and I now enjoy getting glances from the opposite sex. The glances I get now are not what I was seeing a year ago.
MFP has brought me very awesome friends and that special feeling. Keep looking, be honest, be proud and keep the faith. It's human nature to look for a particular thing that is your soul mate. You'll know it when you find it. In the meantime, let the rude ones go. Don't let them generalize about what men want. The gentleman (and I use that term losely) who tried to "fix" you just is uneducated, so feel sorry he doesn't know better. We can't "fix" others. We can only "fix" ourselves.
The person you seek is out there. Don't worry if you don't get a hit the majority of the time. Just play ball!0 -
Men are JERKS!!! It is so funny how men have such high standards for women and what they think a women should look like, as if they are the handsomest thing to have walked the earth!!! It is a sad and cruel world we are living in and it is very unfortunate but it will not get any better... I know that it is so easy to say just ignore it and move on act like it doesn't bother you, but truth be told it does hurt, it does get under you skin, and no matter what it does alter the way you feel about yourself...
I think it is time to STOP for a moment and look deep into yourself and know that no matter what others may think or say, you are only what you think of yourself... Never let another persons thought of you dictate what you think of yourself!!! Curvy, Fluffy, Fat, BBW all those names are just that NAMES!!! It isn't WHO YOU ARE, it is a simple title created in today's society that allows people to speak freely without a filter as if It will never hurt someones feelings when after all it is a label... It takes a STRONG, COURAGE'S, BEAUTIFUL, BOLD WOMEN like yourself to fight through and know that these so called LITTLE BOYS aren't right for you!!! The right MAN that you are looking for will come to you when you least expect it!!!
Keep your HEAD UP!!! and never allow anyone to tell you that you aren't BEAUTIFUL THE WAY YOU ARE!!! 0 -
If they really felt like you were their soulmate they wouldn't try to change you, well i think we've all had instances like this... i LOVE my curves =D0
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I am so frustrated with men!! I am tired of them thinking I am their soul mate based on my fb profile pic, talking me to go out with them. Then when we meet, they realize I am a real 40 yr old , curvy girl and feel the need to tell me what I need to change to be worthy of their middle aged advances!. Third guy to say something to me like that! I've lost 30 and feeling good. I like my curves and guess what...some guys love my curves! This one guy that I went to school with messaged me and asked me for a full body shot, I said that I didn't know him, and he said..what did you get fat or something? Like I have to justify anything to him! Another guy friend of mine said that all guys want supermodels, but then they settle for what they can get. He told me that no one would ask me out if I was overweight, unless the guy had been turned down by the other thinner girls...and that thin wins over pretty every time! I swear, I'm gonna take them out!!! It messed with my head a bit. I felt like I gained 600 pounds immediately. I hate that I let some idiot(s) get to me. I have to remember that I'm doing this for me. To be healthy, and athletic again. And....I happen to know that's not true anyway. I've dated many guys,who were not pretending to be into me..they were INTO me! And heavier than I am now..I'm all done..sheesh!!!
Screw the losers and haters. they aint real men anyway.0 -
there is a huge leap between liking someone on paper and actually being attracted to them in person. I have rejected men that I should have liked but the attraction wasnt there and vice versa, its frustrating when you have been single a while but not the end of the world. Ironically when I stopped worrying about being single and worried about getting on with my life, I ended up meeting someone amazing. Dont dwell on it, some people are just really bad at rejecting others, and resort to thoughtlessness, I would rather be told your too big for me than waste my time with someone that didnt have the balls to tell me and messed me about.0
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This makes a lot of sense.
Sorry but for every overweight woman's "why don't men want to date me once they know I'm heavy?" posts, there is a man asking "why can't women be honest about their body type BEFORE I meet them?"
Pretty much this ^^^.
Also I don't feel like any woman should be obligated to ignore my weight/size (whether she prefers bigger or smaller, pink, green, blue) when deciding if she's attracted or not. You're only attracted to what you're attracted to, so I'm going to do similar.0 -
Meeting people in person after chatting online usually ends up in someone being disappointed. When you chat online, you fill in all the unknowns with your best possible imagined details. Try meeting people in real life and developing friendships/relationships based on what you can actually see and experience.0
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Put a current, full body shot on your profile and you will be "pre-weeding." The ones that are shallow won't even message you in the first place. Stop referring to yourself as "curvy" if you mean "a little overweight." I'm only a few pounds over my ideal weight and I still don't say "curvy." I'll say "chubby" or "could lose a few." When guys think of curves they think of Playboy models...who are underweight, but techinically "curvy," in terms of hip-to-waist ratio. I'd rather them be pleasantly surprised by how big I'm NOT rather than the reverse. Problem solved.
Works for me.0 -
I have to say, there are men out there that will date you with your curves. My man saw me on a youtube video at my highest weight and he said he though to himself "What can I do in my life to deserve someone like that?" a year and a half later, we're together, and happy.
You are absolutely beautiful and you should be proud of what you've done! You'll find the right man who loves you, for you. Stay positive!0 -
Guys are a-holes like that sometimes. NOT ALL OF THEM, mind you, but some. When I was skinny, I weighed 170 lbs, and I'm about 5'6-5'7 so I looked great based on my body type. I tried meeting guys online, and when they asked me about my weight, I proudly told them, "170!" and they would drop our conversation like a newborn giraffe. Ker-plop!
Jerks don't account for things like body type or height. And sometimes, they're 40 lbs overweight themselves, and they have the gall to tell you to slim down. Sometimes, it seems like guys can be fat if they're masculine but girls cannot be fat at all.
But, hey, keep hope, you'll find someone who can appreciate you for you, fat, skinny, anorexic, or healthy.
I found a great man (StoneColdLiger on this site) by a happy facebook accident and we've been together for 2 1/2 years and through weight gain and loss.
Just keep your chin up! Not all guys are jerks!0 -
Btw..these winners are all old frat boys, clinging to their glory days and are attracted to only petite, super thin girls..every time!!! WTF? I don't get it!
So...if they are such jerks, why are you even talking to these guys? You don't HAVE to respond to anything anyone sends you on FB or any other site. Other thoughts:
A full body shot is fair and preferable if you truly are trying to meet people online. If you think the guy you're conversing with has a thing for "petite" women, be honest and let them know you're not. It's on them if they still want to meet up or not--everyone has personal preferences, just because a guy likes a particular body type doesn't make them shallow. If they don't want to get to know you because they don't like your body type, they're not worth your time.0 -
I've been there, done that. There ARE men out there that love curvy girls, i'm married to one. When I was dating, I heard it all, "wow, and you have such a pretty face" or "let me know when you get healthy..." At the time, I was fat AND healthy.
I'm 35 pounds down, and feeling great. Want to lose 60 more pounds before my birthday (in February) and I know I can do it. So, I can feel better for and about myself.
I KNOW you will find someone that loves you the way you love yourself, and even moreso. Don't let those losers get in your head, you have a smart head on your shoulders...It's occupied by YOU, you are in control of how you feel about yourself, they're just pawns that need to be taught a lesson...0 -
Ever think that maybe your FB picture needs to be updated? I know I sound like a jerk but honestly if I posted what I looked like right out of basic training I wouldn't complain if they didn't get what they expected...40 pounds heavier now. Just for the record I'm also married and don't have to deal with all this internet date stuff so take my opinion lightly0
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be proud of your curves real women have curves
Considering that the definition of "curves" has started meaning overweight with fat rolls , I'd rather be flat as a board as you later described it, then overweight with rolls of fat everywhere on my body.
To OP:
Keep hanging on.. eventually you'll find one.
when did having curves mean your overweight some of the most attractive women in the world have curves.0 -
With eyes like that I am surprised they noticed.. Btw Lots of men like curvy.0
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I have more experience online dating than I wish I had. I met my sweetie 1.5 years ago via a mutual friend, Dr. Warren (also known as the eharmony man. LOL!)
Anyway, if you're anything like me, it's important to remember that YOU get to pick too!
Chances are pretty good that the guys that are behaving this way are no Brad Pitt <or insert favourite celebrity bod here> either. If you want to have a real relationship, you're going to do it with a real person. And we all have imperfections.
The guys that are worth building a relationship with (and, believe me, they ARE out there) are not like this.
Another thing to remember -- how cool is it that online dating lets you see this stuff right out of the gate? The jerk has been revealed. You can furrow your brow and say "NEXT!" with confidence.
(Until, of course, you don't want to say "NEXT!" because you've met that awesome guy who will connect with you on all levels. )
Take care and be good to yourself. It's rough out there. :O)0 -
be proud of your curves real women have curves
Amen!!! This ^^
Some men can be shallow. Just be glad you see the real them on the first meeting so you don't have to waste anymore of your time.
Some men can be shallow? So can some women it seems.
so me saying I think women with curves look good makes me swallow?????
I just almost peed myself.0 -
The fella who falls in love with any electronic picture is stupid in the first place- probably not the kind of person you want to date anyway!:flowerforyou:0
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So if you're proud of your body and you feel good about yourself and you're not looking to change anything, why exactly does your Facebook have only pictures of your face, especially if you are using it to meet guys? It's not inappropriate to put pictures that go farther than your face on your FB. I feel like your behavior and your post don't add up. You're lying to somebody - I'll leave it up to you to decide whether it's the Internet or yourself.
I wouldn't call you out on this normally since it's really none of my business, but I feel like the fact that you're not being completely honest in this situation is the only thing causing this problem for you in the first place. I mean, you're mad that these guys are changing their minds when you don't live up to their expectations, but you're intentionally leaving things up to the imagination. If you posted full-body pictures on your Facebook, the guys who would disapprove won't even present themselves to you at all, and you wouldn't be having this problem.
Be honest. Be yourself. Love yourself. If you're looking for someone who wants and accepts you as you are, then you have to put the you that you want accepted out there for them to find.0 -
Losers! Don't waste a second on them.
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THIS!!! wat a bunch of ill- educated little boys.0
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