Would you discipline someone else's child?
Replies
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It is none of your business, it is a strangers child and as annoying as it is you should never discipline or say anything to a strangers child.
The only child I ever discipline/say anything to is my niece and even then its only when her dad is not around to do so.0 -
I wouldn't discipline their child no.
But I may say something out loud like "Well that's really not helping my headache" in hopes that their parents knows their child is bothering others.
If they didn't discipline their own child even after that.
I would move.0 -
You never know why that child is acting the way they are...
I know an 8 year old right now who is detoxing from a powerful anti-psychotic. You would not have wanted to snap at her in a waiting room...
Sometimes you just never know whats climbing the walls right in front of you....0 -
Hell yes!
I hate bad kids (and in this day and age most kids are horrific) and if one gets near me, then they picked the wrong ***** to mess with!
Cheers to that! :drinker:0 -
I have a 12 year old with autism. I can tell you- discipline does not cure autism. I've had some ugly looks, heard sighs, and have people criricize his behavior. You can't tell if a child has autism and you don't know what other issues they may have.0
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I have no problem telling other peoples kids to behave themselves, afterall, they learn by being taught and if their parent isn't going to teach them I will. It takes a village...
That being said, in our neighborhood I'm the mean Mom, and when I walk out of my house, kids scatter.
OMG! Why can't all Mom's be like you?? I could actually venture out to someplace considered "family friendly" if people actually disciplined their kids. WTG!0 -
I would have said something along the lines of "Honey you should really listen to your grandmother." Then maybe done the passive aggressive thing.0
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depends on the circumstances but if the child was jumping on the chair next to me, or crawling over my things, endangering my child etc (though my own children are now grown up) then I would be happy to say something mild, such as " can you please get down from there" etc though I would say it quietly and firmly. when I have had kids annoying me on a train/plane, kicking the seat for example, I normally turn to the parent politely and just say what is happening.
As the child was doing it all over the room and the grandma was attempting to address this, albeit in effectively, chances are I would have just kept quiet unless the child was at risk (e.g. playing with a plug socket, balancing dangerously on chairs etc)
I have said things to kids in the past such as kids messing about in the park (when I was there with my kids) not sharing the swings, using fowl language etc, but usually there is no parent present and it is a quiet but firm remand.
I have worked in education, including family education and I am used to working with very dysfunctional families so maybe that changes things a little.0 -
Unless they are doing something to put my child in danger or they themselves are in danger no. I mean if the kid was climbing over the seat my kid is sitting in then yes I'd tell him nicely not to climb over my kid and to be careful, if in a situation I see a child running into the street or something extreme then I'd also do something as well.0
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I have a 12 year old with autism. I can tell you- discipline does not cure autism. I've had some ugly looks, heard sighs, and have people criricize his behavior. You can't tell if a child has autism and you don't know what other issues they may have.
Agreed. But I don't care what condition a child has, it's not OK to throw rocks at animals and if the parent isn't going to do something about it, I will, and I have.
In one case, I was sitting in a local park by a lake reading a book. There was a bird sitting on a branch over the water waiting for fish to swim by so he could dive and get one to eat. The little boy started throwing stones at the bird and I waited a bit to see if the parents would say anything. They didn't.
So I simply asked the little boy why he was doing that. He told me that he wanted the bird to fly to another part of the lake. So I said, "He's trying to catch his lunch. How would you like it if you were trying to eat lunch and someone threw rocks at you?"
Apparently, he concluded he wouldn't like that, so instead he sat quietly and watched the bird. His reward was that not only did he get to see the bird dive and catch a fish, he also got to then see the bird fly to the part of the lake that the little boy wanted it to fly to.
I like to think I taught a good lesson that day and didn't overstep my bounds. I don't think the parents noticed any of it.0 -
What you did was more redirecting than disciplining. I would have left out the "how would you like it" part, but I don't see anything wrong with how you handled that situation, regardless if the child had any diagnosis of any kind.Agreed. But I don't care what condition a child has, it's not OK to throw rocks at animals and if the parent isn't going to do something about it, I will, and I have.0 -
What you did was more redirecting than disciplining. I would have left out the "how would you like it" part, but I don't see anything wrong with how you handled that situation, regardless if the child had any diagnosis of any kind.Agreed. But I don't care what condition a child has, it's not OK to throw rocks at animals and if the parent isn't going to do something about it, I will, and I have.
The reason I said that was because I wanted him to put himself in the bird's place. Empathy is important when teaching children how to treat other living things. I didn't say it snotty, and I may have said, "How would it make you feel," or something along those lines. It was a while ago and I don't remember my exact word choice.0 -
Thats annoying have control over your own child.. or atleast the one you are watching.. kids should never walk all over an adult.. shoot my 3 year old has been saying yes maam and no sir since she could talk!0
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Depends on the situation. If it was the situation you were in, when I was at a doctors office, I would not say anything. My daughter is almost 2, and she can't sit still now. So she will wander around the office, I never let her go far without following her. You really can't tell a 2 year old to sit still especially waiting at the doctors office.
If I saw a child doing something nasty to another child, say at the play ground, they were delibertly punching, pushing, throwing something at another child and being mean, I would say something. I would look for someone who may be watching the child, if they were close to my daughter and doing it I would say, " Hey, that is not nice. We do not throw rocks, sand, punch etc. each other, and I would be really upset if you hurt my daughter." And if they continued to do it and took no concern to my daughter or other children when they came around them, I'd seek out the parents or who ever is watching them and I may/may not say something to the parent. Depending on what that parent was doing.
I worked in various restaurants, now mind you we had to keep our mouths closed to the children when they were at the tables, but let me tell you this, when they came running by and I had a tray full of food I'd look directly into their eyes and give them that Death stare and look at their parents. And if they kept doing it, I'd time it so I would delibertly run into them and make them fall. Yes I was that evil server. LoL0 -
If I really can't stand it (and yes I've been in this situation before) I take MY son by the hand and start to lead him away. IF he says something to me wondering why we are changing seats, I tell him why. I don't yell it, I just let him know that I am glad he is behaving and wish all people's children would do the same.
oh, where is the "like" button?
absolutely this...
Love this reply!!0 -
I would have tripped the child when the grandmother wasn't looking...LOL!0
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If you don't know the child or the family, you don't know what issues they are dealing with. Autistic kids look the same as other kids, so do kids with all kinds of other neurological problems or other invisible handicaps. I post on a forum where there are a lot of families with SEN kids, and they are not only faced with dealing with their child's naughty and sometimes bizarre and usually very unpredictable behaviour in public, which they can't deal with easily as normal discipline techniques don't work - but also the general disapproval and even public humiliation of other people who think that the child's behaviour can be fixed with a couple of trips to the naughty corner (or a few slaps in the case of some people's opinions)
Invisible handicaps are called that because no-one can see them, and it's generally the assumption that the child is just being a brat or being difficult for the sake of it. Generally these kids are really struggling and their families are struggling even more and it's not easy to get the help and support they need from paediatricians etc.
That's why, if I see kids behaving dreadfully in public, I don't make any judgements about the parents. Most cases it probably is the child being a brat or the parents not knowing how to discipline, but I don't know that for sure, do I? I could end up making one mother's hell just that little bit worse, or make her never want to take her child out in public again, thus increasing the stigma and problems with having a child with such difficulties.
I have been in the situation where a friend's child was running her ragged with misbehaviour and I stepped in and put a stop to it, my friend didn't mind, or if she did she never told me. I'm strict with my own kids about behaviour in public, but at the same time kids are kids and all of them have bad days, and play up sometimes. They're kids, not robots.
My little brother is autistic (huuuuuge age difference btw lol my parents are crazy) and it really frustrates me to see people shake their heads or give my mom dirty looks when he has a mini-tantrum in a public place. He loves flags and sprinklers and when he sees one he will not leave it alone. Sometimes it is impossible to talk him out of leaving it when they are in public. He is a really good kid otherwise and extremely intelligent and its a shame that people that see him screaming automatically assume my mother is a bad mother.
If the situation is THAT bad then talk to the parent, don't try to "discipline" the child. Otherwise remove yourself from the situation.0 -
Two words.
"Falcon Punch!"0 -
Oh I do it all the time, I can't keep my mouth shut! I have done it when I saw a little boy slap his little sister very hard right in the face...I actually went over to him, down to his level and told him that it was not okay. God knows where his mother was!
Yesterday the little neighbour boy was outside and I watched him kick a dog! I went out and told him he wasn't to do that anymore or the dog wouldn't want to be his friend. I wouldn't discipline someone else's child in a nasty, harsh way and certainly not in any physical sense but I absolutely don't mind setting them straight if no one else will! I have to live in a world with these creatures and God knows what kind of adults they'll become!0 -
My mom has been known to, if the child is about to break something, do something they really shouldn't, or hurt themselves, tell the kid something. I wouldn't call it discipline because it's more of a sweet-toned "don't do that, honey" and either the kid stops or the parent suddenly realizes their kid's being a little *kitten* and they handle it.
Me, I don't say anything. I'll observe, but frankly I'm of the mind that, if you procreated then you read the fine print on the "parent contract" where it says keep your kid out of trouble in public settings. If you don't or you've let your kid become someone who thinks they can do anything with no consequences, that is your problem and God help any person who tries to straighten them out or do what you won't.0 -
It really depends on whose child it is and the situation.... if it were a relative of mine or a close friend of mine and it was one of those we agree on bad behaviors, then yes I would... If it were a kid I were taking care of, whether baby sitting or sleep overs, yes I would... If it were some random kid in a waiting room? No, probably not...0
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Even the best most well behaved kids can have their moments.
I would be irate if someone else tried to discipline my son.
With the exception (like the above poster mentioned) of family situations and that kind I thing. But I think a stranger has absolutely no right.0 -
I have no problem telling other peoples kids to behave themselves, afterall, they learn by being taught and if their parent isn't going to teach them I will. It takes a village...
That being said, in our neighborhood I'm the mean Mom, and when I walk out of my house, kids scatter.
ME TOO!!!0 -
I usually don't have to, my own kids do it.
My 2 year old (who is now 9) once told some unruly toddler in an office to SIT DOWN YOU ARE BEING BAD.
My 3 year old (now six) said to me in the library "wow that kid is being soo bad" and that made the bad kid shut up.
Peer pressure! That's actually really cute
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If it's really bad and I'm in my own town sometimes I strike up a conversation with the parent and introduce myself as the educational psychologist for the local school district. As long as the child isn't hurting themselves or others I'll keep talking to the parent. Sometimes this either A) Effectively denies the child attention because their parent is talking to another adult or
the parent actually asks for my advice.
It's pretty sneaky but you'd be surprised how often it works :S0 -
I tend to swoop in and try to help. I'll ask if the kid wants to color. I always have crayons and paper in my bag. Usually kids misbehave places like that because they're bored and their parents aren't paying attention.
I only get on to other peoples kids when they're at my house. They get a warning that it's against my rules. If it happens again I ask them to go home.0 -
If you don't know the child or the family, you don't know what issues they are dealing with. Autistic kids look the same as other kids, so do kids with all kinds of other neurological problems or other invisible handicaps. I post on a forum where there are a lot of families with SEN kids, and they are not only faced with dealing with their child's naughty and sometimes bizarre and usually very unpredictable behaviour in public, which they can't deal with easily as normal discipline techniques don't work - but also the general disapproval and even public humiliation of other people who think that the child's behaviour can be fixed with a couple of trips to the naughty corner (or a few slaps in the case of some people's opinions).
I know it's just TV, but this reminded me about the episode of Parenthood where Max was misbehaving in the opinion of others, at a grocery store, and Adam (the father) punched this other guy for yelling at him to control his kid. As little as it is (and talking with a friend of mine who teaches first grade and has 2 or 3 autistic students in her class in any given year) it really gives me perspective on it.0 -
I make it a point to congratualte good parents with behaved kids. I have even bought them a desert at restaurants. I am truly blessed to have the son I have at 17 he is way more mature than others his age.0
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Only if I had breastfed him in the past... Ok, ok. I might try to play with the child or read to him.0
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I tend to swoop in and try to help. I'll ask if the kid wants to color. I always have crayons and paper in my bag. Usually kids misbehave places like that because they're bored and their parents aren't paying attention.
THIS also! Redirecting kids is awesome... As long as the parent doesn't take offense or think you're a creeper0 -
I don't see anything wrong with say something like "You should listen to your Grandma like a big girl." if the she comes over near me. I wouldn't go out of my way to talk to her. When both of my kids are in the lobby at our doctor's, they sometimes start (mostly my little guy) crawling across the chairs. They are just turned 2 and 3.5 though and our doctor's office doesn't really have a to area now. I'm planning on bringing a couple new toys for them next time though.0
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