Would you discipline someone else's child?

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  • mdsjmom98
    mdsjmom98 Posts: 333 Member
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    Great topic!! I generally don't speak up if a child is acting like a hooligan. I will, like one poster said, move away (if possible) to avoid the train wreck. I too will shoot dirty looks, but I will not discipline another child if the parent/guardian is around. Some behaviors that child exhibit are "acceptable" to some parents, so who am I to judge on how they raise their kids? One time while at a doctor's office, my youngest son was about 5, and was sitting in the chair, but was taking his sandals and acting like he was using a defibrilator on my other son. They weren't loud or running around, but they were giggling. When I came out, my kids were sitting calmly, and my youngest had been crying. When I asked why, they told me that a woman had gone off on them for their shenanigans. She told my youngest he was a brat, and that he needed to be heavily drugged. The office staff did NOTHING to help. The very least they could've done (if they realized my kids were bothering these people) is come and got me, but instead they let this woman yell and berate my children. I found nothing wrong with them goofing off, as long as they were quiet, but apparently their behavior was unacceptable to this woman. I called and chewed out the office staff, and told them exactly what I thought. So I guess that's a reason I don't bother to discipline others children.
    However, there was one time when an older girl was beating on my then 11 year old. She was punching him in the face, pulling his hair, and kicking him. One day he had a fat lip, and I had had enough. I had talked to the school until I was blue in the face, with no results. So one day after school I saw her, pulled my car up next to her, and got right in her face. I told her it was ok if she didn't like my son, because the feeling was mutual, but she was to stop the abuse immediately or I would call the police, and her parents. I told her while she may not like him, she did have to go to the same school as him, and she needed to stop acting like such a jerk and grow up. She stopped immediately, and actually apologized to him.
    It's a sticky wicket no matter what you do.
  • deshannonhatala
    deshannonhatala Posts: 16
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    I have no problem telling other peoples kids to behave themselves, afterall, they learn by being taught and if their parent isn't going to teach them I will. It takes a village...

    That being said, in our neighborhood I'm the mean Mom, and when I walk out of my house, kids scatter.

    Love it...totally my sister..all the kids scatter..freakin hilarious..love going over there just to watch the show!
  • sladamssr
    sladamssr Posts: 36 Member
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    Let it go. Not your kid. At the most I would say, " Hey buddy, your grandmother is calling you. Here go take her this magazine for me." That will get him over to his grandmother. Then she could take the magazine roll it up and beat the kid...done.
  • tmm01
    tmm01 Posts: 137
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    being a teacher and living in Hawaii, my teacher mode kicks in instantly! lol!!! I've corrected quite a few and always gave credit to the adult and talk to the child about being obedient to them.
    I'm the same, as a teacher I give 'the look'. If this doesn't work and I have my children with me I will praise them loud enough for people around to hear. 'Well done for sitting really still, you are such a good boy' etc. If it's starting to affect my children I have no problem in asking the child to stop whatever it is.
  • MichelleLaree13
    MichelleLaree13 Posts: 865 Member
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    Last year I was watching my kids on the playground when a Mother I knew asked me to watch her kids for a few minutes. I made the mistake of saying yes since I knew her kids were very badly behaved in general. Her older son (4th grader) was playing near me and my younger daughter (2nd grade) when he took a whole piece of notebook paper and balled it up and put it in his mouth. He took it out all covered with spit and acted like he was going to throw it at me. I told him not to and he said "What are you going to do if I do?"
    Now I suppose this was wrong but I told him I'd spank him if he did. He proceeded to go right ahead and hit me with it. Well - there is no way on earth I'm not doing what I said. I spanked him once (honestly about 1/100th as hard as I'd liked to - he didn't cry) and I made him sit by me on the bench while the other kids played for 10 minutes (which seemed to bother him more than the spanking).
    I wasn't sure if we should just have that as something between me and the kid but it bothered me so much that I called him Mom that night and explained what happened. She said we shouldn't discipline each other's children and I agreed. Since then I don't think she speaks to me anymore. In a way I don't much care because I don't like my kids hanging around with her kids but I still feel very emotional about the situation.
    I think if I made one mistake it was agreeing to watch kids I know have discipline problems.
    If I made two mistakes if was threatening something I didn't really want to have to follow through on.
    As a side note the bratty kid has never messed with me again and usually behaves himself around me.

    Hold on... spanking works? Someone alert the media!!!

    I think you did the right thing... obviously that kid needed a little discipline in his life and he got (less than) what he deserved...

    edit: BTW, if you ask someone to watch your kids, you should understand that you are putting that person in charge of your child and whatever disciplinary action may be necessary. If you don't want your kid spanked ya probably shouldn't leave them with other people...
    I think there are many ways to make a child want to cooperate, some ways better than others. I do not condone the way I was raised but it was a way that worked. We were told once that we werent to do something and if we ever (even years later) did it we got a belt/spanking. We were pretty good kids. If we were ever punished by someone else, it would have been much worse for us when we got home.
  • BeingAwesome247
    BeingAwesome247 Posts: 1,171 Member
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    I've spoken up in situations like that lol
    HOW I said it, I think kept me from getting any wrath from the adults

    There was a little girl just totally railroading her father at dance class one day. He was being all nicey and "no no sweetie" while she's being a complete BRAT. I kinda laughed, and said to the lil girl, "you should listen to your daddy...he's asking you a lot nicer than I would ask my daughter ::insert chuckle:: I would have taken my daughter to the bathroom by now for an attitude adjustment" chuckled again.

    NOW when it comes to kids playing with my daughter or my niece and nephew....they get treated same as my own lol If I'm with my sister and I can tell she's whipped, all I'll say is the "What did your mother just say to you?! Knock it off"
  • MichelleLaree13
    MichelleLaree13 Posts: 865 Member
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    Let it go. Not your kid. At the most I would say, " Hey buddy, your grandmother is calling you. Here go take her this magazine for me." That will get him over to his grandmother. Then she could take the magazine roll it up and beat the kid...done.
    HAHA. So simple
  • ihateroses
    ihateroses Posts: 893 Member
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    I do all the time...her parents just turned 50, but she is someone else's child.

    :laugh: :drinker:
  • AlbaAngel25
    AlbaAngel25 Posts: 484 Member
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    i was once watching my brother in laws 2 little ones. They were 4-7 at the time. So i decided to take them to the park, (they seemed so well behaved ) I thought it would be nice. It was, but then it was time to go home and the little one started to FREAK OUT on me...He attached himself to the railing and wouldn't get off it. AND he was screaming bloody murder on top of it. Im surprised no one thought i was trying to kidnap him lol.
    Anyways, we got home and i told him about what happened, and i tried bribing them with mcdonalds,- i know so bad- and he told me that i should of spanked him.. Ummm no thanks!


    I am a mom to an 11 month old, and I would be so upset of anyone tried to physically tried to discipline my child. I dont know about yelling at her if she did something wrong.... I think i'll be pretty aware and good at handling a situation like that so no one would have to say anything.
    But i would not discipline another child. Not my kid.
  • sarahmoo12
    sarahmoo12 Posts: 756 Member
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    Iv told kids off in my part time job! I work in and exotic fish shop and have kids climbing the ladders climbing up tanks smaking tanks chasing round ! Its dangerous n the parents just let them do it so I make a point to say loudly please stop doing that and go find you mummy or daddy, the parents are normaly mortified :)
  • PhilyPhresh
    PhilyPhresh Posts: 600 Member
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    Iv told kids off in my part time job! I work in and exotic fish shop and have kids climbing the ladders climbing up tanks smaking tanks chasing round ! Its dangerous n the parents just let them do it so I make a point to say loudly please stop doing that and go find you mummy or daddy, the parents are normaly mortified :)

    Good for you! :laugh:
    It sickens me how stupid parents are these days... A fish shop isn't a jungle gym!!!
  • imchicbad
    imchicbad Posts: 1,650 Member
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    Back in the day, MY Grandma (Nana) wouldn't have said- not one word to me...she would have removed both her chanklas (sandles) and commenced the windmill non stop...so I knew better.
  • AlbaAngel25
    AlbaAngel25 Posts: 484 Member
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    Back in the day, MY Grandma (Nana) wouldn't have said- not one word to me...she would have removed both her chanklas (sandles) and commenced the windmill non stop...so I knew better.

    lol i love it!!! my parents did the same to me!! totally works
  • missjewl
    missjewl Posts: 214 Member
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    I have been in those situations... and you want to take the child sit them in a chair and tell them to stay there and not move! i find myself giving their parents the evil glare lol and thinking seriously take initiative ... they are the parent or gardian they should be getting that under control!

    When in my care... say im babysitting or my son has a friend over and the friend is acting out whether the parent is there or not i do do something. my kids dont get away with it ... so they wont either!

    In public and someone elses kid is acting out.. ya ... tough one. im sure if it got to be too much i would say something... "didnt your "whoever" tell you no!?' and then look at the parent and make sure they heard you! the parent doesnt fight back but it does embarrass them a bit.
  • skinnyskittles
    skinnyskittles Posts: 96
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    Absolutley *starts taking my belt off*
  • Troll
    Troll Posts: 922 Member
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    I have absolutely no problem telling the kid to mind. i was never allowed to act like that in public and id have my butt torn up for disobeying. if granny gave me backlash id tell her either she could address the situation or i would. its rude to everybody there to allow the kid to act like that.
  • miqisha
    miqisha Posts: 1,534 Member
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    It depends on whose child it is. A close family member or friend then yes. Anything outside of that then no.
  • amberfreund831
    amberfreund831 Posts: 19
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    This i a hard one. I don't know if I would say anything to a strangers child. Me something like becarefull buddy. Or if they got to close to you maybe something like didn't your g-ma tell you to sit down. If It was a friends kid I would handle it. Just like I would expect my friends to do the same. If my child misbehaves and my friend sees it i would expect her to handle it. I want my child to know she has to be good at all times not just when mommy's around.
  • TeachTheGirl
    TeachTheGirl Posts: 2,091 Member
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    At a playground once, my son tried to go up into a tree house style structure and kept being blocked by two slightly older kids. I told him to wait until they were done, but they incited him up the stairs and then one of them kicked him square in the chest, sending him flying down the steps. I believe my response was to run over and yell 'What the F***, dude?!' to the kid and asked him to point out his mother. She was WAY across the playground at the coffee shop benches.

    If people don't want you to discipline their children then they should keep their attention on their actions.
  • mommy1126
    mommy1126 Posts: 146 Member
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    If it is not directly hurting anyone (other than getting on my nerves), then no I do not discipline other peoples children.
    That being said, any child (mine or not) that I am watching or that is with me is going to behave. I have no problem calling children that I am responsible for on bad behaviour.
    If I was in a Pediatrician's office like you were, I would probably try and get them to sit with my son while I read to them (typically how I entertain my 16 month old somewhere like that). If they didn't want to join in, I would probably move further away from them.

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