Answering "How Did You Lose Weight? HELP

Sinisi2012

lose weight? what are you talking about I've always been this size. Oh wait you must be thinking about my twin.

LOL we think alike

forgtmenot

Cocaine.... ALL DAY Errday!

crazybigchick

dedicated diet of coke and vodka

Rosytakesoff

Tell 'em the Purina Dog Food Diet worked great for you until you stopped to scratch your ear in the middle of the street and got hit by a car.

AllonsYtotheTardis

Adipose


(any Doctor Who fan will get it, anyone else will go looking for a drug called Adipose)

BigMech

I just say "I ate less and exercised more..."

Some people say awesome, some people are disappointed with the answer because they want a quick, easy fix. Problem is, there is no quick, easy fix. If they ask for more details, I will give them, but I usually just stop with that answer.

Navotc

Lamb testicles.

HiKaren

Tell 'em the Purina Dog Food Diet worked great for you until you stopped to scratch your ear in the middle of the street and got hit by a car.

I like this idea... OR you could say, you went and had a feeding tube inserted somewhere. Haaah. :laugh:

SyntonicGarden

Based on your knowledge of the Algerian Pineapple diet and your recent marriage to Ms. Michaels (I hope her partner is ok with that) perhaps these other techniques might justify what healthy eating and exercise cannot.


- Use a loofah and scrub off the dead skin cells. They're extra weight, you know. O.o

- Chew each mouthful of food exactly 237 times. EACH mouthful of food, including ice cream and coffee. Think of all of the calories burned by all of that chewing!

- Avoid eating foods that come in primary colors. No red, yellow, or blue foods. (No magenta, yellow, or cyan if you're talking to a artists. Red, green, and blue if your audience is well versed in light.) Secondary colors are ok and tertiary colors are the most nutritious.

- Eating food in alphabetical order. This way, your body can process it better. Never eat zucchini before an apple. It'll get turned to fat almost immediately.

- Only eating what you can attach to piece of string attached to a stick attached to your head. It's the carrot on the stick diet. Works wonders, is a little weird in public and makes it impossible to enjoy soup.

Hope those suggestions are ridiculous enough.

katrinkap

"I take a 17 pound dump twice a day, every day."

jenbit

I have this magic little pill I take twice a day ... Then go fill a bottle with sugar pills and sell them for 50 bucks a pop......

I stand on my head for to minutes before and after meals helps speed up the digestion.

More sex it burns calories

SairahRose

I washed my clothes and had a hair cut.

ChrisRS87

Nationwide

maab_connor

i was bitten by a werewolf. running around naked in the forest burns calories like you wouldn't BELIEVE.

super_monty

Many people just don't want to hear the truth because it sounds mean.

People are overweight/fat/obese whatever because the eat too much, eat junk, don't exercise and can be arsed sorting themselves out.(obviously there are exceptions but they are rare)

One thing I have noticed is that people want a short cut, quick diet, like the pineapple diet, the apple diet, but whats the point to maintain you would have to eat apples(whatever) forever.

Good natural food/balanced diet and an active life style it is no secret.

I see people with the free 'obese' gym vouchers from the docs, they come once or twice then leave. I actually heard one say after walking for about 5 mins on the tread mill, this is too hard I cant be arsed and they left.

MrDude_1

Its already been said once here... but I would say:

"Hookers and blow...... Cocaine is a hell of a drug"

CakeFit21

That you drank pregnant lady pee.

BeingAwesome247

Based on your knowledge of the Algerian Pineapple diet and your recent marriage to Ms. Michaels (I hope her partner is ok with that) perhaps these other techniques might justify what healthy eating and exercise cannot.


- Use a loofah and scrub off the dead skin cells. They're extra weight, you know. O.o

- Chew each mouthful of food exactly 237 times. EACH mouthful of food, including ice cream and coffee. Think of all of the calories burned by all of that chewing!

- Avoid eating foods that come in primary colors. No red, yellow, or blue foods. (No magenta, yellow, or cyan if you're talking to a artists. Red, green, and blue if your audience is well versed in light.) Secondary colors are ok and tertiary colors are the most nutritious.

- Eating food in alphabetical order. This way, your body can process it better. Never eat zucchini before an apple. It'll get turned to fat almost immediately.

- Only eating what you can attach to piece of string attached to a stick attached to your head. It's the carrot on the stick diet. Works wonders, is a little weird in public and makes it impossible to enjoy soup.

Hope those suggestions are ridiculous enough.

hahahahaha I love these

rashmirao74

Tell them you tried "losing weight and not losing your mind". The more you think about your weight, the tougher it is to lose. Think THIN....YOU ARE WHAT YOU THINK.

corn63

Stopped shoving food into my piehole and moved my butt a little more.