Answering "How Did You Lose Weight? HELP

jenbit

I have this magic little pill I take twice a day ... Then go fill a bottle with sugar pills and sell them for 50 bucks a pop......

I stand on my head for to minutes before and after meals helps speed up the digestion.

More sex it burns calories

SairahRose

I washed my clothes and had a hair cut.

ChrisRS87

Nationwide

maab_connor

i was bitten by a werewolf. running around naked in the forest burns calories like you wouldn't BELIEVE.

super_monty

Many people just don't want to hear the truth because it sounds mean.

People are overweight/fat/obese whatever because the eat too much, eat junk, don't exercise and can be arsed sorting themselves out.(obviously there are exceptions but they are rare)

One thing I have noticed is that people want a short cut, quick diet, like the pineapple diet, the apple diet, but whats the point to maintain you would have to eat apples(whatever) forever.

Good natural food/balanced diet and an active life style it is no secret.

I see people with the free 'obese' gym vouchers from the docs, they come once or twice then leave. I actually heard one say after walking for about 5 mins on the tread mill, this is too hard I cant be arsed and they left.

MrDude_1

Its already been said once here... but I would say:

"Hookers and blow...... Cocaine is a hell of a drug"

CakeFit21

That you drank pregnant lady pee.

BeingAwesome247

Based on your knowledge of the Algerian Pineapple diet and your recent marriage to Ms. Michaels (I hope her partner is ok with that) perhaps these other techniques might justify what healthy eating and exercise cannot.


- Use a loofah and scrub off the dead skin cells. They're extra weight, you know. O.o

- Chew each mouthful of food exactly 237 times. EACH mouthful of food, including ice cream and coffee. Think of all of the calories burned by all of that chewing!

- Avoid eating foods that come in primary colors. No red, yellow, or blue foods. (No magenta, yellow, or cyan if you're talking to a artists. Red, green, and blue if your audience is well versed in light.) Secondary colors are ok and tertiary colors are the most nutritious.

- Eating food in alphabetical order. This way, your body can process it better. Never eat zucchini before an apple. It'll get turned to fat almost immediately.

- Only eating what you can attach to piece of string attached to a stick attached to your head. It's the carrot on the stick diet. Works wonders, is a little weird in public and makes it impossible to enjoy soup.

Hope those suggestions are ridiculous enough.

hahahahaha I love these

rashmirao74

Tell them you tried "losing weight and not losing your mind". The more you think about your weight, the tougher it is to lose. Think THIN....YOU ARE WHAT YOU THINK.

corn63

Stopped shoving food into my piehole and moved my butt a little more.

marias2gaa

lol :laugh:

BarbellBlondieRuns

Just tell them how YOU lost it. It's not a dumb question. We all do things a little differently and they want to know about YOU.

For me, I started by making healthier meals and going for a 2 mile walk per day. Did that for a couple weeks with success and decided that I wanted to look into clean eating. I spent an entire month eating pretty much 100 percent clean. I was still walking during that time but I upped it to 3 miles/day. Then I took what I learned about clean eating and applied that as I began counting calories (net 1200 to 1400 day)- at the same time I upped my water to be sure I was having 8+ servings a day. And that's when I started couch to 5k. These days I log on MFP daily, try to make good food choices that will fuel my body, run or walk every day. Next up for me is a heavy weight lifting program.

See what I mean? I'm sure my story is different than yours and I think they just want to know what your story is.

jynxxxed

You still ate all of your favorite junk foods, you just liquified them and consumed them as soup. Doing this helps deconstruct/reduce the caloric content and boosts the fat burning properties of your food. Proceed to ask if they want to try liquid meatloaf.

Zylahe

Some great responses by everyone.
I was going to suggest
" i've seen the light and become a breatarian. I now get my energy from sunlight and only eat for pleasure."

That was you can still eat in front of t hem, and it is a real religion too.

But i do love the adipose response, it sound so close to a real WL drug.

MichelleLaree13

Someone on here said she tells people that she knows you are what you eat so she chases down skinny people and if she catches them she eats them. It was soooooooo funny when I read it :laugh:

MichelleLaree13

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

My fiancee is naturally skinny. Someone asked him once why and he said it is all the hookers and blow. It was so funny (None of there business either)!
Its already been said once here... but I would say:

"Hookers and blow...... Cocaine is a hell of a drug"

vkruithof

Tell 'em the Purina Dog Food Diet worked great for you until you stopped to scratch your ear in the middle of the street and got hit by a car.

^^^HAHAHAHA.... love this!

OR you could say 'I made a deal with the devil, all he wants in return is my left testicle - so I said "what the hell!"'

Rizabees

Adipose


(any Doctor Who fan will get it, anyone else will go looking for a drug called Adipose)

I was going to say that. :>

MB_Positif

http://health.yahoo.net/articles/weight-loss/omg-diet-are-you-kidding-me

Use this...just saw this on Yahoo News...there is actually a diet called the "OMG diet." Hilarious.

Or you could use my personal favorite answer to this question which is, "I started doing meth."

super_monty

Tell them you live in the Matrix and there is no cake.

mdbs2004

I lost my first 185lbs by kicking her the f#c( out of my house!!! The rest of it was hard!

berryjk

I haven't eaten since February.

I LOVE this one! So many people have the mind set "ALL OR NOTHING" eat you gain...starve you lose! Hey...the have the alternate day diet...why not alternate month? sounds like it'd work!

lesita75

You still ate all of your favorite junk foods, you just liquified them and consumed them as soup. Doing this helps deconstruct/reduce the caloric content and boosts the fat burning properties of your food. Proceed to ask if they want to try liquid meatloaf.

That is what I was thinking!!!

BondBomb

Tell them that 'The Cake is a Lie!'

sarahlynn78

Sensa, but you have to snort it to get results.

odusgolp

Seriously fantastic suggestions. The wit of MFP is simply lovely.

FrancesGallagher

tell them you gave up dieting because it never works. What works is being aware of what you are eating, keeping a record with MFP, drinking water and except as a treat limit such things as soda, and any fried foods, other regular foods, plenty of vegetables and are the way to go.

Zylahe

" testicular cancer" or the "P.O.W diet, developed in the 1940's". ( too soon?)
That should shut them up.

Or "raw food/ 5th level fruitarian ( can't eat food that casts a shadow)"
" tree bark diet, its full of fibre and fills you up"

brandiuntz

Twinkie Diet.

126siany

Twinkie Diet.

Do you eat the Twinkies, or are you trying to attract the Twinkies? :bigsmile: