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    Answering "How Did You Lose Weight? HELP

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    • Posts: 2,717 Member
      show previous quotes

      Do you eat the Twinkies, or are you trying to attract the Twinkies? :bigsmile:

      Clearly, you eat them. That's not how everyone else lost weight?:noway:
    • Posts: 1,927 Member
      "well, there's this one weird trick to losing weight fast. For $29.99 I can tell you!"

      If by any chance anyone pays you... The weird trick is eat less than you burn.
    • Posts: 100
      One word, two syllables..TAPEWORM..The disgusted look on their face makes it hard not to giggle but it's SO WORTH IT! Good luck:)
    • Posts: 172
      I went on the butter diet and calories don't count if you eat in the dark because you can't see them
      :sick:
    • Posts: 1,446 Member
      Married Jillian Micheals.... Hahahaha. WOW.
    • Posts: 13,247 Member
      "I stopped making excuses."
    • Posts: 859
      I Purge after each meal.

      Side effect of my meth use (cocaine use ...).

      But I like your Jillian Michaels response.

      A little off the subject, but I double dog dare you that if someone tells you that you're getting too skinny to respond with, oh yeah, well you're getting too fat!
    • Posts: 859
      "well, there's this one weird trick to losing weight fast. For $29.99 I can tell you!"

      If by any chance anyone pays you... The weird trick is eat less than you burn.

      LOVE this!
    • Posts: 926 Member
      I Purge after each meal.

      Side effect of my meth use (cocaine use ...).

      But I like your Jillian Michaels response.

      A little off the subject, but I double dog dare you that if someone tells you that you're getting too skinny to respond with, oh yeah, well you're getting too fat!

      dont double dog dare me, you know I will do it!! lol
    • Posts: 859
      show previous quotes
      Precisely :wink:
      dont double dog dare me, you know I will do it!! lol
    • Posts: 100
      Or you could just say, "The Jenny Crank Diet"...I see that one A LOT. That meth monster, she's a cruel b!tch!
    • Posts: 81
      Based on your knowledge of the Algerian Pineapple diet and your recent marriage to Ms. Michaels (I hope her partner is ok with that) perhaps these other techniques might justify what healthy eating and exercise cannot. ;)


      - Use a loofah and scrub off the dead skin cells. They're extra weight, you know. O.o

      - Chew each mouthful of food exactly 237 times. EACH mouthful of food, including ice cream and coffee. Think of all of the calories burned by all of that chewing!

      - Avoid eating foods that come in primary colors. No red, yellow, or blue foods. (No magenta, yellow, or cyan if you're talking to a artists. Red, green, and blue if your audience is well versed in light.) Secondary colors are ok and tertiary colors are the most nutritious.

      - Eating food in alphabetical order. This way, your body can process it better. Never eat zucchini before an apple. It'll get turned to fat almost immediately.

      - Only eating what you can attach to piece of string attached to a stick attached to your head. It's the carrot on the stick diet. Works wonders, is a little weird in public and makes it impossible to enjoy soup.

      Hope those suggestions are ridiculous enough. :)

      THIS hahahahaha
    • Posts: 185 Member
      Tell them you ate a skinny person. Everyone knows you are what you eat.
      tumblr_lnbhmfco0J1qksp3lo1_400.jpg

      Hahahahaha - that was too funny.
      Totally agree! :)
      Have some fun with the response.
    • Posts: 1,010 Member
      I'm seriously going to start using the one about snorting Sensa. :laugh:
    • Posts: 917 Member
      I usually tell them I swim daily but if they persist in seeking more exciting answers, I tell them it's all the coke fuelled sex
    • Posts: 160 Member
      Tell them you had a terrible year. Ended up needing a lift for your spirits, became a meth addict. Just got out of rehab and have gained back 40 pounds already.
    • Posts: 361
      Tell them that you're involved in a charity that sucks out the fat of obese/overweight Americans, and ships it overseas to be injected into the malnourished bodies of those starving in the third world.
    • Posts: 321
      In 2008 I lost a significant amount of weight and was back at my goal weight. Everyone kept asking how I did it. I finally just started telling everyone it was due to liposuction and psychotherapy.
    • Posts: 4,564 Member
      Tell them you became breatharian

      http://www.breatharian.com/
    • Posts: 5,922 Member
      "Honestly, I just started getting laid more often..."
    • Posts: 1,143 Member
      "I got an awesome intestinal worm"

      "My wife started cooking more"
    • Posts: 685 Member
      My sister asked me if I had surgery on my face. Uh, no.

      It's because people don't understand that it can be relatively easy, and very safe...it's not very much time once you learn the system and listen to your own body.

      I say that I followed recommended serving sizes on all foods except for green vegetables, I doubled or tripled those because I like to eat food.

      After you get the food rhythm, it's on to the next challenge---exercise. Looking back, and investing one year so far, i would have to say that I could have done this years ago. But then again--timing is everything.
    • Posts: 112 Member
      The new "Las Vegas Diet" - Blackjack & Hookers

      This is great!
    • Posts: 185 Member
      LOL.. Algerian pineapple diet.
    • Posts: 263 Member
      Hookers and blow.
    • Posts: 22
      I eat in front of a full body mirror naked. It makes it easier for me to put the pizza down. When I stop wanting to vommit I'll know I'm close to bringing sexy back.
    • Posts: 2,996 Member
      Usually, I go with "You know, masturbating burns A LOT of calories...":wink:
    • Posts: 1,690 Member
      The lettuce and carrot diet. The side affect is that your nose starts twitching like a rabbit's

      Meth fueled marathons

      2 hour orgies once or twice week.

      kangaroo training

      Giving blood twice a week. Body breaks down fat to make more blood!

      Fight Club (but you can't talk about it)

      Mild electroshock therapy that repeatedly flexes every muscle in your body

      15 different surgeries to suck out fat and inject muscle

      Drink 5 gallons of water a day
    • Posts: 188
      Tape Worm. Or Hypnosis
    • Posts: 66 Member
      "Blow has no calories and the sex is great exercise"
    This discussion has been closed.

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