Why I closed my diary.
Replies
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That is exactly why my food diary is private. I know what works for me. I am down 23 lbs since I started on MFP.0
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What a lovely post, thank you for sharing.
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I don't like movies or tv shows that spoon feed the plot to me and don't leave me room to think. That is why I didn't include that paragraph in my first post.
:flowerforyou:
Love that - I like being able to read between the lines!0 -
Well spoken, sir. The journey of a thousand miles starts with one step. Also,as a newbie to MFP, I am very happy to see the overwhelmingly positive response to this post! Nice to see the world is not just nasty comments and judgement.0
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Excellent. I've never opened my food diary simply because I don't want to be tempted to lie. It's hard enough to tell myself the truth. Even my wife doesn't get to see it.
This is exactly why I have never opened my food diary. I know what I should eat, and will lie about it if other people will see. Keeping it closed keeps me honest. Soon I will go visit a dietitian and I will let her or him see what I've been eating. Having given this one professional a license to nag I expect that I will be able to give them the truth so they can help me find appropriate tweaks.0 -
I get your point and you seem to have a great plan to start with the small sacrifices and then worry about weening off the sugars/sodium later. You have to do what is sustainable for you and whatever keeps you logging is great.
That being said it is clear you are a lawyer. You like to brag about yourself and your career and unless I missed something it seems to have absolutely nothing to do with weight loss. haha just an observation.
Actually, I included the info about where I've been in my life to show that I (like everyone else), have had to work to overcome obstacles. As part of that, I have made choices. Big choices and little choices. Some have worked out for the best, some were very bad. But regardless, I've always tried to make the best of the hand that's been dealt to me, and that I've dealt to myself. And that is why I have made the choice-- right or wrong-- to work toward knocking off 79 pounds (to get under 400) before I try to deal with the sodium and sugar issues that others feel are important now. If your house is on fire and your credit card payment is a day late, you deal with the fire first and the credit card company later.
I don't like movies or tv shows that spoon feed the plot to me and don't leave me room to think. That is why I didn't include that paragraph in my first post.
ahh K.. I gotcha now. Thanks for clarifying.0 -
Well said, thank you.0
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You can brag all you like. You've worked hard for those bragging rights. Just like you are working hard towards your next accomplishment... which I am very sure you will succeed with your determination and self-motivation.
^^ THIS
All of your life needs to be a balance. You've learned that well in your career and family. The food and exercise is also a balance. I don't look at those days I go a bit over in my calories or make less than ideal choices as 'cheats'. I try to plan for them by workout out a little bit harder the day before, day of and day after. I am working on not beating myself up when I go a little extra overboard than planned, or don't get quite as much time in the gym or on the treadmill.
the weight will come off!! As long as your expectations for how long it will take aren't overly aggressive you will meet all your goals in your timeline. Most importantly, you will be here to continue to see that wonderful family and enjoy those grandkids for a long time to come.
Good luck!!!0 -
I love the background and your success! Congrats!!
One thing confuses me though....you said "why i closed my diary".
But it is still open??0 -
I don't understand. Sodium, processed sugar, subway, taco bell.... these things will not inhibit weight loss. People giving you **** for this? I would just laugh at them while you move toward your goals happy and healthy and they grind their teeth in misery.0
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Keep up the good work (yes I did read it all).0
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Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I keep mine closed as well. It puts too much pressure on me, having people see my diary and getting comments I didn't ask for.
Good luck0 -
Haha, well done
At the end of the day, you lose weight the way that you want to. It's your life, your choices. You may indulge in more salt than you should, but i indulge in more sugar than i should. What's right for one, isn't necessarily right for another, that's why we're all different. I'm sure losing the weight you already have, and are going to lose, far outweighs the risks of eating a little too much salt in your diet now and again. You go!! :glasses: 0 -
I rarely post here much less read, but felt compelled to respond...
People do what works for them. You do you. That's what is most important. I started my own journey at 375 pounds. Today, I'm 191. I do leave my diary open, but ONLY to my friends on here. I have good days. I have bad days. I have REALLY bad days and REALLY good days. For me, it's about my head. My therapist is probably the most important tool in my arsenal, moreso than the surgery I had.
I went a different path. I had a sleeve gastrectomy in June of last year. (and no, people, there's absolutely NOTHING easy about that - losing these 183 pounds has been every bit as hard, I just had a tool to help me along the way since I obviously wasn't doing it myself worth a darn).
My point in posting to you is simply this... and you can feel free to roll your eyes or ignore me. I came from a pretty poor family and an abusive situation. We ate beans and rice. We had those Little Debbies, food was love and celebration and help to blunt the pain. Just make sure that whatever you are eating you are eating for the right reasons.
I find myself every now and then craving something outrageous and I have to ask myself why. It's almost always a trigger from something emotional or from my past. Happy or sad, doesn't matter. THE hardest part is finding reasons to celebrate that don't involve sugar or potato chips!
Okay, I'll stop oversharing and you are welcome to say "thanks, but that doesn't apply to me", but I just wanted to throw that out there. I STILL eat crap food I shouldn't, the only difference is I don't hide it now. Like you, it gets logged. I also stop beating myself up over it. I don't let anyone else beat me, and I'm not going to allow myself to beat myself up either.
Take it one day at a time, one step at a time. I'm SO proud for you for what you've accomplished so far. YOU can do this. *I* know you can.0 -
Yes, I took the time to read this. All of it. Congratulations on your 25 years of marriage & your successful, happy, healthy children. Those are AMAZING accomplishments. Your decision to reduce your intake and feel better are also great acomplishments. I agree with you 100% about eating what you love. It is the only real way to do this for LIFE. You could eat nothing but Resee's peanut butter cups all day, as long as you have a calorie deficit at the end of the day, you will lose weight! Of course eating whole foods is great, and I do so, most of the time. But I will eat whatever my heart (stomach) desires as long as I have the calories left to do so. I've lived this way my entire life and guess what, it works. Wonderful post! Wishing you many years of continued success!0
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I enjoyed reading this! Good for you! :-)0
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Great post! I enjoyed it very much. My diary is closed. It'll stay that way. It's what works for me. 0
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Do whatever works for you to achieve your goal. I did enjoy your message. Thanks for the story and motivation.0
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You are a brilliant writer! I have mine closed for the same reason. I don't intend to be "perfect" with my food intake because it is not something I can maintain. I can maintain "better" though and so far "better" is producing great results!0
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Hi Scott. I'm new to MFP and I love it. I feel honored to be allowed to hear your story. I learned the hard way that it does no good to follow a strict diet that does not allow for the occassional treat or foods that I love. Doing so led to "giving up" more times than I remember and gaining back the weight I'd fought so hard to lose. I'm with you. EVERY person needs their own plan, we can get ideas from others but our choices are our own. Ani0
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As one who has closed my diary in yhe past, and who now has it open only to friends, I applaud your decision. Best of luck on your journey.0
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Preface: Over the past four days, I have tried to figure out how to write what I am about to write without sounding like an insensitive, selfish jerk. I have come to the conclusion that it is impossible to do so. Therefore, I will simply write what is in my heart and mind.
A bit about me before I get to the point of this post. As you probably know from previous posts, I grew up in challenging economic circumstances. For eleven straight years (high school, college, law school) I worked full time and attended school full time because it seemed the only way out of my dire circumstances. The sheer effort of doing so nearly killed me. I obtained my law degree and attorney license by the time I was 25. I was hired by one of the three largest law firms in the world right out of law school. After three years there, my supervising attorneys told me that I was well on my way to making partner. Doing so would give my then-new wife and I a measure of financial security that I had never known before.
However, it was not to be. One day in 1987, I received a telephone call from the executive assistant to one of the very top attorneys in his field of litigation specialty. She said that Mr. M wanted to visit with me. I went to his (LITERALLY) penthouse office and we talked. He said he knew who I was, what I was doing at my firm, and that he wanted me to do it for him. He told me that he would double my compensation if I would come to work for him. Now, for a young married fellow with $45,000 in student loans in 1987, a mortgage, and nothing in the bank, that was a heady offer. I turned it down. What he said next absolutely floored me. "Ok, then, I'll triple it. But you'd better think carefully before you turn it down, because I'm not going any higher." I literally got lightheaded and nauseous. I babbled something incoherent about having to check with my wife about such an important decision. He said he understood and would wait for my decision.
At that point in my career, there were many days that I would leave my house when it was dark (5:30 a.m.) and return when it was dark (7:30 p.m.). As a new husband, that was unpleasant, but we tolerated it for the good of my career. However, as a new father, it was unacceptable. What was the point in being the breadwinner for my young family if I wouldn't be around to be a significant part of my sons' formative years? I thought to myself that this new opportunity might be a chance to spend more time with my wife and family-to-be. I accepted the offer.
Oh how wrong I was. Throughout the almost seven years that I survived as the head of Mr. M's appellate section (indeed, I was his only appellate attorney), 3:00 a.m. telephone calls for briefs, trial motions, and such were commonplace, as were impromptu out-of-town trips to handle depositions, serve subpoenas and assist in 2-3 week trials. The money came rolling in by the bushel basket. And I was more unhappy than I had ever been. A large bottle of liquid antacid was my almost constant companion. Six times in three years I found myself in hospital emergency rooms with symptoms of a heart attack that ended up not being heart related, but stress related. My body was sending my mind an unmistakable signal that money be damned, if I stayed in that job, I'd be leaving my new wife and young sons with a lot of it after my all too early visit to the grave.
In early 1994, I left that position and opened my sole practice of law two miles from my house. My new office had one room where my wife could bring my children to play and "hang out" with me after school when I was in between clients or legal assignments. I was close enough to my sons' school that I made it to almost all of their parent-teacher conferences, plays, and sporting events. Within weeks, my health stabilized, then improved. No more stress related trips to the emergency room. My income plummeted at first, but I was finally the kind of dad, father AND attorney that I always wanted to be. My first client showed up at my office door four days after I opened my doors. In the 18+ years since I opened that office, I have never advertised once, and never had a day where I wondered what I would be doing next. I am very grateful and very blessed.
Over the past quarter century, I have gone from literally penniless and heavily-in-debt, young, ambitious newlywed attorney to where I am today. Next month, Mrs. R and I will celebrate 25 years of marriage. And to paraphrase Groucho Marx, they have been 19 of the best years of my life (ducking a flying frying pan from the kitchen). We have conceived and raised four strong and sturdy sons. One is a PhD candidate in cancer research at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. One recently accepted a job as a high school calculus and algebra teacher and baseball coach at an underperforming local high school. One is a marketing and advertising junior at the University of Texas. And one is a delightful 12 year old, 7th grader, baseball player, and great kid in middle school. I know that in many homes, kids can't wait to get out the door to make their own lives. In our house, our sons can't wait for the opportunity for us to all be together again. Mrs. R and I share in that feeling. As for my career, it is safe to say it survived my early vacillations. I have been licensed as an attorney for 26 years, and board certified as an appellate specialist for 20 years. On Thursday, I completed my one year term as chair of the State Bar of Texas Appellate Section, and began my three year term as one of 42 directors who help run the State Bar of Texas. I have written and presented over 100 continuing legal education programs, the most recent of which was literally just yesterday, 165 miles from home. Clients still regularly find me, even though I do not advertise or actively look for them.
"Well goody for you, ya verbose clod. But the title of this post is 'why I closed my diary.' Are you going to get to that, or do my grandchildren have to die of old age first?"
[writer's note: watch how I now toss a bone to my new MFP friends from "over the puddle" in the U.K.]
"O.k., o.k., don't get your *knickers* in a twist. I'm getting to it."
When I first started logging my food diary regularly on MFP almost 8 weeks ago, keeping my diary open to others was an integral part of my motivation to make changes to my then-atrocious eating habits. I knew that when others could see what I was eating, I felt peer pressure to want to stay under my alloted calories for the day. And it definitely worked. I started on here as 5,000 to 7,000 calorie per day closet, shame eater who would scarf those incredible bright orange, cream filled cupcakes from Hostess. Yeah, you know the ones, with the while swirl of icing on top of the orange sheet of icing, on top of that bright orange spongy cake and that sweet, creamy, white filling in the middle... ohhhhhh yeah.......
Today, fresh fruits, whole grains, skinless chicken, fish, lowfat dairy and water (yes, just plain water!!!) are regular staples of my daily diet. I say STAPLES because in addition to those things, I also indulge in the occasional Subway sandwich with its 2,200 miligrams of sodium, Golden Grahams snack bars that are nothing more than glorified candy bars with some whole grains thrown in for good looks, Godiva chocolates with their saturated fats and refined sugar, and teriyaki extra tender beef steak nuggets with their 30 grams of protein, 3 grams of fat AND whopping 1,470 milligrams of sodium per 3 1/4 ounce (92g) bag.
Yes, I have had days when my sodium intake was twice what it should have been, or my refined sugar consumption was higher than it should be. But I have also stayed within my allotted calories 45 out of the past 46 days and dropped an astounding 34 pounds, from 478 to 444 in less than seven weeks. Do I have a long way to go (like another 219 pounds, at least)? Yes. Will I get there over the next 1 1/2 to 2 years? Absolutely. But I won't do it eating like a vegan monk. You see, if I eliminate my "safeharbor" foods (like a footlong Subway sandwich, relatively low in calories, packed with protein, fiber, veggies and whole grains but also a lot of sodium) and Taco Bell fresco style tacos with 140-150 calories, lots of protein, and lots of sodium, I WILL NOT maintain the long term discipline to see this through. Given the choice of remaining in the 400's because I have given up on a food program that I cannot live with, or quickly pulling my weight down through the 400's into the 300's (at first), I know which choice is better for me. I have made the clearheaded, thoughtful, deliberative choice to sacrifice a few days a week to 3,000 or 4,000 miligrams of sodium per day in return for finally finding the key to unlocking this miserable weight from my body. Is it the right choice? For many of you, NO. Is it the right choice for me? Right now, in return for getting down from the high 400's into the 300's, it is. When my body has fully acclimated to its lower calorie intake, I DO intend to substantially reduce or eliminate high sodium and high refined sugar foods from my diet. But not right now.
So here's the answer to 'why I closed my diary.' I intend to stay on MFP for the rest of my life. My short term goal is to evicerate 45 more pounds in the next 15 weeks (by Christmas) and see a "3" in the hundreds column on my scale for the first time in many years. During that time, at least 3-4 days per week, I will make a conscious effort to reduce my intake of sodium, fat, and refined sugar. But that also means that 3-4 days per week, in order to stay on this life-changing journey, I will NOT carefully watch my intake of sodium and refined sugar (I don't particularly care about the fat). And when I do, I would prefer not to spend 20-30 minutes per day explaining myself in response to the several incredibly well-intended, decent and caring emails and messages that I have been receiving about my sodium and refined sugar intake EVERY DAY. I would rather spend that time catching a bullpen session, pitching batting practice or hitting grounders and fly balls to my 12-year old, talking on the phone with my 23 year old son who is half a country away, vigorously walking a hot humid patch of Texas, or taking care of a client's legal needs. It seems that in order to avoid explaining myself repeatedly in response to multiple inquiries about my food choices daily, locking my diary is the best solution for now.
It's NOT that I do not appreciate all of the questions and comments about my food choices. I do. However, given the choice between making ok food choices and losing this damned weight, and making great food choices and likely giving up out of despair, I choose the former. For now. Not because it is right. But because it is right. For me. For now.
I hope this makes sense.
Scott R. (who is 136 sticks of butter lighter than he was 7 weeks ago).
P.S. And now back to my regularly scheduled 3 1/2 ounce pouch of Jack Link's Premium Cuts Original Beef Steak nuggets with 30 grams of protein, 3 grams of fat, and 1,470 delicious miligrams of sodium. Yum!
Loved this post - you are a great writer! I agree - on MFP we have to do what is best for us. Too much criticism can be too stressful. Good job with the weight loss!0 -
Whew that was long, but a great read.
I understand completely, I closed my diary this morning before I read this.
People think they're doing a good deed by trying to help, as if we don't see the bold red negative numbers.
You've done great thus far, keep it up!0 -
Do people seriously have nothing better to do than to cruise through other people's diary's and criticize their choices? That's pathetic. Good for you on losing weight!
I started about 1 1/2 months ago at 310, and am now down to 280. I am limiting my calories, but am not focusing on anything else. That's what works for me. I don't need to think about fat content or sodium content at this point, because if I work too hard at that, then I'd never stick to this.
Keep up the good work!0 -
I leave my Dairy open to those on my friends list. That and getting on my friends list means your not a food zombie to start with.0
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that was really long0
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that was really long
My bad. I'll try to edit better the next time I write.0 -
that was really long
My bad. I'll try to edit better the next time I write.
Please don't edit yourself. If people can't take 5 minutes to read a heartfelt post, it's their problem not yours!0 -
that was really long
UNecessarily rude. Why take the time to post something like this? If you take 5 minutes to read a heartfelt post then don't....move on to another thread.0 -
You can take the sodium off your diary (if thats the only thing they are complaining about), it would suck for you to get off track in case you have an issue with holding yourself accountable for cals. You can also set up a password for your diary, and only give the key to those who you feel would be encouraging. Oh, and I agree, no need to edit yourself, I enjoyed reading your post.0
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