Impossible to eat healthy when in debt

EccentricDad

Think of all the money you will save in medical bills eating healthy!

Preach on brother! I agree entirely! But to some people convenience>healthy. I'm lazy when it comes to a career but I am the hardest working nurturing father/husband a person could ever have in their life. But when two people are locked on a moral or mentality battle, it's hard to get anything done.

JustJennie1

So now I'm really confused about your sales ad if she doesn't go to the grocery store with you. Why then is it difficult for you to incorporate healthy foods into your menu if your wife is not doing the grocery shopping?

ETA: I also browse the ingredients of items as well and will not buy anything with added crap.

Can't buy foods if she doesn't pay the credit card off. I'm not allowed to use the debit card because she does scheduled payments and she wants her points on my Discover Card. But what happens when the Discover Card doesn't get paid off because she wants to triple pay the Goodyear credit card so she can avoid $20 in interest? Point is, a person who controls financials controls the family. I have no problem with that, as long as she gives me the $$$$$ when I need it to feed the family.

Not being rude but it sounds like you have some serious marriage issues in your house. I asked before but not sure you saw: Why don't you work? Are you a stay at home dad?

I don't agree that "he who makes the money controls the purse". My husband right now is the money maker in my household however I'm the one that pays the bills. We each have our own credit card and yes, his money is what pays mine however he's never told me I can't use my credit card. My spending has significantly decreased since I quit my job to start my businesses but I still use my credit card. You really and truly need to sit down with her and discuss the issues that you're talking about here. It doesn't matter that she makes the money and pays the bills. It seems as though she's either not getting the issue or you're just not laying it out for her properly.

Pickles64

A college student up above made comments about veggie soup... which is great - but means you're not cooking for a family of 4. Generally, when just cooking for yourself, you can afford to make whatever sounds good to you & eat the same thing every day for awhile - I have done that - but I am also married with 2 kids... and each person has their dietary needs - my son, for example is a competitive swimmer and at age 12 eats like a 16 year old boy... limiting carbs, limiting fats, and cooking "healthy" is much more challenging when you're talking about a family.

Let's not get angry or "irked" at comments, but come up with solutions & recipes! I'm VERY interested in this thread...

Also, I live in Los Angeles - and while YES there are farmers' markets around, driving around to them costs a lot in gas - which, by the way, is up to $4.19/gal. here now. Just sayin'

EccentricDad

No one is reading the post. Why are all of you so lazy? I was saying that we do have the money to eat healthy and each and everyone of you low attention span people seem to think I'm trying to say that we can't eat healthy when in debt. Sure my topic says that, but no one is doing what is necessary: READ THE DETAILS!

I was just saying that my wife controls the money and wants to control the diet too. She wants to eat extreme budget and convenience (McDonald $1 menu and Tacobell) so that way we can pay off our debt. Me on the other hand, I want to eat healthy (home cooked meals using REAL food and not artificially created or sodium/sugar loaded processed crap) and I could care less about our debt. We're 30 years old, the debt collectors will waith 30+ years to get their money, as long as they are getting it. But if we push off our health, we won't have 30+ years to enjoy after we're debt free!

It's all about priority. But regardless, you all are pulling the whole "TL;DR" thing on me so rather just have this thread locked because you all are lazy and won't read. I learned my lesson - get to the point faster and Don't title things excuses. Thanks interwebs for trolling me and showing me your low attention spans.

Wow, who farted in your oatmeal? smh

Have it be known you don't phuck with a HSP lol :laugh:

catanzca

bananas are so cheap!

hpsnickers1

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hpsnickers1

Really depends on what one considers healthy.
Expensive organic vegetables are 7 to 8 times more likely to make you sick from bacteria. And multiple studies have found they do not have higher nutrient content.

I don't pay attention to "lean" versus not. I need fat in my diet. I have to limit carbs. So that leaves fat because low carb high protein is toxic.
Costco is great for saving money of meat and veggies. Farmers markets are surprisingly affordable for local produce.
Not spending money on junk food snacks saves a ton of money.
I think I'd get rid of our mobile phones before cutting into the food budget.

http://www.tfrec.wsu.edu/pdfs/P2566.pdf

HeatherMN

delete

Isileo

A lot of you have great input and I'm trying to execute it, it's just not easy because I have a difficulty in going into new places alone. But I will find a meat market and I will start comparing prices for veggies/fruits. But when I'm done, I'm going to tell my wife that I need a minimum of ______ dollars each week to do shopping and she shouldn't pay bills into my grocery fund.

Good luck to you but can I add that not only do you need a minimum but also a maximum. It really sounds to me as though the two of you need to get together and make a budget and stick to it. Once you know how much you have to spend on groceries each week you can make a menu and from that a grocery list buying ONLY what you need for the menu that week.


If your wife is a competitive person at all challenge her. Bet her that you can feed the family healthier food that is more satisfying and with less money for an entire week. Then stand up to the challenge.

Oh and by the way, if you eat out or eat fast food, you have to include in the cost of the meal the gas and wear and tear on the car getting there every night.

pdworkman

Good luck, Dad. Sending positive vibes your way.

I confess to reading the first few and last few pages of comments, and not all of the middle ones. You have received lots of advice on shopping frugally. I know it can be hard; we don't live in the US, and we also have numerous allergies/intolerances/celiac disease to contend with. Our bills are not low, but I do shop the sales, make a meal plan, cook from scratch, etc., and we do the best we can.

I would suggest a simple envelope budget. If your wife is looking at $500 for the week and allocating out what is for each type of expense, have her put each in a separate envelope, and since you are the one doing the shopping and cooking, give you the grocery envelope. She can play with the others, but yours stays in your pocket.

Try to include a few little treats for her in your budget; maybe on the day that you have baked potato, she could have half of a $0.99 mac and cheese box; or you could make your own veggie burgers, but keep a couple of cheapo beef burgers in the freezer for her; get a kind of tea that she likes; stuff like that. Not that you are encouraging her to eat unhealthily, just trying to be mindful of her preferences and give her a bit of what she want to keep her happy. Let her have a bit of a choice in options for this or that meal, while not relinquishing the reins.

You might look at some of the groups/forums here for vegetarians, celiacs, or other special diets and look for threads on those who have spouses who are not on the same diet, and how they compromise on cooking or building meals. Things like making taco salad, where you can avoid the high-fat/animal product toppings and have a meal that is mostly rice, lentils, and tomato sauce on corn chips, while she adds a bit of cheese or ground beef to hers; other build-your-own dishes like baked potato, haystacks, stacked salads, toppings for soups or salads, etc. Having a meal where you choose separate starches - when my kiddo has pasta, I have baked potato, and we use the same topping for both. Or where you have a mix of salads and sides and can come up with your own combination.

There are lots of ways to approach it if you go into with the attitude that you will buy frugal and healthy foods for you, with some occasional less healthy (but still frugal) choices for her to add as toppings, sides, or swap-outs. I think that as much as this being about money trouble, communication, or upbringing, it is probably also about comfort foods, stress, emotional support, and being afraid of change. Take it slow. Show her lots of love and support. Find ways to make meals special even within the budget. See if the tension starts to resolve.

sammniamii

I buy the, i cook, i have all the dietary restrictions. The hubby, other than having Grave's Disease, is as healthy as an Ox and will and can eat anything. We are both trying to get out of debit and it's hard. With the 2 of us, we buy bwt 75-150$ every two weeks (food, tolieteries, cat supplies and house hold goods), with replacements as needed. We finally found some friends who want to split the cost of a Costco membership so we all can try getting bulk sizes (I have a vacuum sealer) and try this way to see if it will help control the costs even more.

I look for sales, clip coupons and try to tweak everything as far as we can get it to go.

It's hard, but we are trying. He's switched to an electronic ciggy (trying to quit) which has saved ALOT of money, but he drinks alot of soda and energy drinks. His job also doesn't have a kitchen or fridge, so he has to eat out while working. I do energy drinks. We are starting to shift what we consider important (like I am cutting back the vitamins and reducing the number of things I take - he's trying to eat better, like cheap lunches - mcdee's dollar side salads + chicken poppers).

We are trying to NOT eat out - it's more costly no matter what.

It's hard, but doable.

leeann0517

I buy the, i cook, i have all the dietary restrictions. The hubby, other than having Grave's Disease, is as healthy as an Ox and will and can eat anything. We are both trying to get out of debit and it's hard. With the 2 of us, we buy bwt 75-150$ every two weeks (food, tolieteries, cat supplies and house hold goods), with replacements as needed. We finally found some friends who want to split the cost of a Costco membership so we all can try getting bulk sizes (I have a vacuum sealer) and try this way to see if it will help control the costs even more.

I look for sales, clip coupons and try to tweak everything as far as we can get it to go.

It's hard, but we are trying. He's switched to an electronic ciggy (trying to quit) which has saved ALOT of money, but he drinks alot of soda and energy drinks. His job also doesn't have a kitchen or fridge, so he has to eat out while working. I do energy drinks. We are starting to shift what we consider important (like I am cutting back the vitamins and reducing the number of things I take - he's trying to eat better, like cheap lunches - mcdee's dollar side salads + chicken poppers).

We are trying to NOT eat out - it's more costly no matter what.

It's hard, but doable.

can't he pack food in a cooler?

esteelewis

I am actually the one with the debt in my relationship. Between student loans, credit cards, a car payment, I am around 200K in debt. So i understand controlling the purse strings and paying off the bills. Almost every penny I earn goes to paying off debt. Skimping on the food, eating of dollar menus seemed cheaper. I also hated cooking. Plus part of it for me was that I felt I deserved to eat out because I had worked hard in my life and it should pay off. To me eating at home and eating healthy was actually a punishment. a bit twisted thinking I know.

It was actually my boyfriend that talked sense into me. Now I view eating at home as the privilege. We save money, I get home cooked meals, I now see the nutrition and health value of eating at home over convenience. Even now I will sometimes say that eating at home is too expensive. But that is just an excuse.

Recently we have moved to real foods. We have budgeted out $300 a month to get higher quality foods. But we rarely eat out now. I figure my health needs to be a priority over paying off my debt. What's the point of slaving away to get my debt paid off if I am just going to have health problems, a heart attack or die early. And really...what does an extra $100 add to paying off debt in the long run? It maybe cuts a couple months off the end... So what. If you are looking at 30 years of bills..what's 30.5 years instead so you can eat healthy and enjoy your life.

_danjo_

I think it is hard, but not impossible. Groceries have definitely gotten a LOT more expensive--my grocery bill is up 30-40% every week and it pisses me off! But we have to eat....

There are some sacrifices I have to make with our grocery list--sure, I'd rather have the organic chicken, but the big frozen bag goes a lot further.

I do a lot of coupon shopping but only for what I NEED--coupons will get you to spend so much money on so much crap, a lot of people are better off avoiding them altogether.

Also, lots of bulk--if you have somewhere that you can buy good bulk food (not Costco, not Whole Foods--here I go to Winco, there used to be Cub Foods, depends on your area) you can save a bunch, not only because it is less expensive per pound, but also because you can get only what you need. Beans, rice, pasta, flour, sugar, honey, fresh ground peanut butter and almond butter, granola, nuts, spices, etc.

Another one of those tricks in the store is to put something on "sale" to entice you to buy more--don't give in! If you only need one package of pasta, only buy one. If you buy into the "sales" you're actually spending about 75% more on that item than you intended or that you needed.

If you have time at home, experiment with some new recipes--maybe you'll surprise your wife! Make it a challenge to yourself--how much can you buy for a set dollar amount? How many meals can you get out of that shopping trip? Can you duplicate something that you already make with different (healthier) ingredients?

Good luck to you! I know how difficult it can be to get creative, healthy and inexpensive in the kitchen!

AwesomelyAmber

I'm in debt (not as much as I used to be, but...). I find this very very possible. If you want to lose weight and be healthier you WILL find a way. If you want to remain the way you are, you'll find an EXCUSE.

edited to say: That may have sounded harsh but I've had too many experiences with people saying "I would love to lose weight but..." and then find that they really didn't want to do it all... maybe that's not your story, but hey.

Elzecat

Bumping this thread for all of the great, interesting, creative ideas I've seen here...even if it apparently didn't meet the OP's very complex needs.

Thanks to everyone who shared "eating healthy on a budget" ideas-I will be happy to take your advice and run with it :flowerforyou:

Yukongil

Hey EccentricDad, have you showed her this site? If not, show her the nutritional value of a McD's meal or even better something from Taco Hell, and then compare it to something you make at home on MFP. The unholy sodium content alone from the fast food joints should do wonders to help nudge her focus towards your way of thinking.

For extra bonus points, also do a cost analysis breakdown for the meal for the entire family.

EccentricDad

Bumping this thread for all of the great, interesting, creative ideas I've seen here...even if it apparently didn't meet the OP's very complex needs.

Thanks to everyone who shared "eating healthy on a budget" ideas-I will be happy to take your advice and run with it :flowerforyou:

I agree, the thread is turning out to be pretty good.

EccentricDad

I'm in debt (not as much as I used to be, but...). I find this very very possible. If you want to lose weight and be healthier you WILL find a way. If you want to remain the way you are, you'll find an EXCUSE.

edited to say: That may have sounded harsh but I've had too many experiences with people saying "I would love to lose weight but..." and then find that they really didn't want to do it all... maybe that's not your story, but hey.

Direct your attention at the concept of the thread instead of me. I am fine. I lost 70 lbs in 5 months and I can fit in clothing that I could only fit in during high school. How did I do it? Eating "my definition" of healthy eating. But I didn't do it to lose weight, that was just an added bonus.

EccentricDad

Hey EccentricDad, have you showed her this site? If not, show her the nutritional value of a McD's meal or even better something from Taco Hell, and then compare it to something you make at home on MFP. The unholy sodium content alone from the fast food joints should do wonders to help nudge her focus towards your way of thinking.

For extra bonus points, also do a cost analysis breakdown for the meal for the entire family.

She's aware of this site and ones like it. But again, how the food affects the body is no concern to her. She cares only about ending that pesky feeling of "hunger". And she isn't the only person like this. I bet there are lots of you reading this thread going "that's me" and feeling guilty by my attitude towards this mentality. The truth is though, it is her (your) mentality that is causing the obesity in America to sky rocket (along with the bonus checks of Fast Food owners).