Impossible to eat healthy when in debt
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I bet there are lots of you reading this thread going "that's me" and feeling guilty by my attitude towards this mentality. The truth is though, it is her (your) mentality that is causing the obesity in America to sky rocket (along with the bonus checks of Fast Food owners).
Nope, just reading the rants of a troll and smh that people are biting.
This^^^^^
There will be no solution for these people that we can help with. At first I just thought this was a troll post but now have my doubts. Troll or no the OP can talk to strangers on the web and blame his wife (who is a member of this site and in his "friends" list. I asume she knows about this thread) but that won't solve the issues either. My guess is her story about why she doesn't trust him with money would reveal an interesting counter argument.
The reality is.....this is a waste of time for all involved.
Please carry on.
If you have your household finances, diet, and meals planned and everyone will authoritarianly follow your order, then yes this is a waste of your time. But if you respect your spouse and you aren't getting respect in return, there is something in this thread for everyone in that situation. Not everyone lives a "no nonesense, no drama" life. When people are allowed to think for themselves (something I encourage) then there will always be conflict.
If you don't like what this thread is offering, skip it.
As long as they keep me out of it, I don't care if the thread lives or dies. Just keep your bias and opinions to yourself.0 -
Did you seriously say you jacked your wife's credit card to buy the healthy food that the two of you didn't agree on?? Wow - that is crazy. While I empathize with what you are saying as my husband is a junk food junkie he and I have come to compromises through communication and work - its not easy but it is better than going behind each other's backs - that is deceitful and could cause a lot of trust issues....0
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Have they read your profile?! ADHD, omg! There's no winning an argument! lol!0
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Just keep your bias and opinions to yourself.
Isn't this the point of a public forum? To hear bias and opinion? To debate?0 -
My ex used to tell me that there was o money for me to go to school to become a masage therapist. There were cuts that could be made- and it would have only been for 6 months while I toook courses- but he insisted the money wasn't there. I found the money in the end. In divorce court. I spent 10 years of this madness. And I didn't have any one to talk to. I was very isolated. I am glad you can reach out to vent or ask for sypmathy on MFP- there are allot of good ideas here that others can use. Not relevant to your post but still useful.
I sincerely hope the struggle can be worked out in your marriage.0 -
You spend money on what's important to you. If eating healthy were a priority for you then you would adjust your budget to reflect that.0
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Just keep your bias and opinions to yourself.
Isn't this the point of a public forum? To hear bias and opinion? To debate?
Sure, as long as it isn't dished out as a passive aggressive attack. That would be disrespectful and uncivil. As long as no one makes things personal to anyone I think it's fair game, right? I mean, why would anyone want to be singled out and prosecuted? As long as we talk in the general (and meaning it that way) then I think it's okay. But a lot of people are taking out there aggression on me and I find that uncalled for.0 -
i feed a family of two on 2 dollars a day. you do what you have to do to survive. a lot of brown rice, beans, chicken, and milk. and veggies from the farmers market. i can bring down the 150 dollars by about 40-70 dollars if i spend 2-3 hours on coupons.com maybe its just different for me, i grew up dirt poor and eating casserole every night. i would skip the sausage patties, and get ground beef. skip the yogurt containers, and buy bulk. skip liquid egg whites, and buy a bakers dozen eggs. skip crinkle cut carrots, and go to the farmers market. (you will get double or more for the same price) i would DEFFINITLY skip the frozen crap like artic zero and stuff. that is like 7 dollars for a pint. buy protein powder and have it with milk... yeah it dosnt tastes like ice cream, but if you are in debt you don't have the luxury to get that type of stuff.0
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Did you seriously say you jacked your wife's credit card to buy the healthy food that the two of you didn't agree on?? Wow - that is crazy. While I empathize with what you are saying as my husband is a junk food junkie he and I have come to compromises through communication and work - its not easy but it is better than going behind each other's backs - that is deceitful and could cause a lot of trust issues....
No, no, it's okay. We don't have split finances like a lot of marriages do these days. The only reason it's "her credit card" is because we didn't want that card on my credit report by getting me a card too. She and I talked and I would have been able to use it regardless, the whole point though is she spent the money on the bills instead of paying off my card and never offered me her card as a solution (I had to intuitively come up with that on my own); so the problem is solved with the exception that she may overspend on our debt in the future and not give me enough money for food. Really there's no reason to go back on the original post's issue or have this thread stay alive. But without a doubt this post will keep on going because of it's controversial and debatable nature.0 -
I feel that we either pay the increase in food cost now, or we pay the much larger increase in maintaining the symptoms of our diseases later.....and feel much worse for it. "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure."
Anyone with debt, trying to figure out the right insurance to buy, how to plan for adequate retirement, budget, etc, then you may want to consider the Financial Peace University class. It's by Dave Ramsey and it's pretty thorough. It really helped me with debt, future retirement, and college planning for my kid.....just to name a few things that I have vastly improved. :-)0 -
OP if you have gotten what you needed out of the tread then just move on to something else. You don't need to continue explaining or defending yourself. If people want to keep commenting or using the thread for their own puropses, it's ok for you not to participate.0
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I feel that we either pay the increase in food cost now, or we pay the much larger increase in maintaining the symptoms of our diseases later.....and feel much worse for it. "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure."
I agree totally, Just wished I'd started before, because now it IS later!0 -
I find red beans and rice an inexpensive meal. Add a zucchini (sauteed) for veggies (can add onion or tomato for $0.25 more per person) the meal costs about $1.75 each. Ham and navy bean soup is also inexpensive per serving. Ham bone $7, beans $2/lb, onions (2) $1.50, celery $0.99, carrots $2.99. add water, salt, bouillon cube (box $2) Total $15, serves 10. $1.50/ per serving.0
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I read several pages of the thread. I didn't have the tenacity to go read every post but I read for a good 10 minutes.
OP It sounds to me like you would like to have as much say in the finances as she does. Is there a power struggle going on?
Do you feel as if she gets to make all the financial decisions, are her priorities are always getting paid for- while your priorities are not getting financed because she doesn't think they are important?
I sympathise with you. As a home maker myself, I often got the same schtick from my ex husband. Since he worked, he got to make all the money decisions. If I wanted something, and HE wanted it too- we could have it. But if I wantes something- and it wasn't important to him, 'we couldn't afford it". This made me feel be littled.
I understand the need to vent. I wish I had some advice for you. Were it me, I would be tempted to leave m duties as home maker- put the kids in day care, and get a job to make the extra money needed for the types of food you want to buy. But that would't solve anything and likely change the dinamics of the marriage too much.
I know you want to set a good example for your kids, and it must be frustrating to be dealing with this.
Venting is the only thing people who WANT to solve their own problems have as their weapon against frustrating situations. People vent many ways but let's be honest, venting is just redirected aggression. And last I checked, the conservative movements are trying to ban aggression in all it's forms. But don't they know that pent up emotion is poisonous? I have read study after study that people who "hold things in" are more likely to have hypertension and high blood pressure than someone who talks about their problems (even if not seeking advice). What's the secret? Peer empathy. To know other people care about your feelings and that you do in fact matter is all that it takes to cure aggression. But in today's world, besides HSP's like myself, who is prepared to deal with other people's emotions? Very few.....
Anyways, my situation will get better. I am going to have a nice Yin/Yang style debate with her about the priorities that we both have and just lay out the law. She will have to give me a budget (and stick to it) and I will have to be a bargain hunter and better utilize my freezers. But like I said, when everyone is allowed to think for themselves and no one is oppressed, conflict is going to happen.
I want to thank everyone for showing empathy towards me and helping me get over my aggression 24 hours ago when this thread started.0 -
OP if you have gotten what you needed out of the tread then just move on to something else. You don't need to continue explaining or defending yourself. If people want to keep commenting or using the thread for their own puropses, it's ok for you not to participate.
It's so hard to abandon projects I started, even if they have reached to the point of maximum completion. But you do have a point, I'll just let it die off by not commenting and trying to keep my hypersensitivity from getting hurt by their rude and accusing remarks. I've sad all I can and now I just have to hope that this thread will die off on it's own.
EDIT: And if anyone tries to bait me back here by snarling at my post count or at the fact I am openly admitting that I have ADHD or HSP then I want you to realize your passive aggressive and bullying behavior. I said I was done with this thread, and you are talking about me behind my back. Is that respectful? No. Would you want people talking about you behind your back? Even if you say you don't care, you wouldn't want them to. So please either stay on topic (eating healthy while in debt or eating healthy versus eating dirty) or just don't comment. I don't need anyone's two cents or drama and neither does anyone else on this thread.0 -
I bet there are lots of you reading this thread going "that's me" and feeling guilty by my attitude towards this mentality. The truth is though, it is her (your) mentality that is causing the obesity in America to sky rocket (along with the bonus checks of Fast Food owners).
Nope, just reading the rants of a troll and smh that people are biting.
This^^^^^
There will be no solution for these people that we can help with. At first I just thought this was a troll post but now have my doubts. Troll or no the OP can talk to strangers on the web and blame his wife (who is a member of this site and in his "friends" list. I asume she knows about this thread) but that won't solve the issues either. My guess is her story about why she doesn't trust him with money would reveal an interesting counter argument.
The reality is.....this is a waste of time for all involved.
Please carry on.
If you have your household finances, diet, and meals planned and everyone will authoritarianly follow your order, then yes this is a waste of your time. But if you respect your spouse and you aren't getting respect in return, there is something in this thread for everyone in that situation. Not everyone lives a "no nonesense, no drama" life. When people are allowed to think for themselves (something I encourage) then there will always be conflict.
If you don't like what this thread is offering, skip it.
As long as they keep me out of it, I don't care if the thread lives or dies. Just keep your bias and opinions to yourself.
You're laundering your dirty laundry in public. Do you really think someone her is going to suggest something that; 1.You will listen to and follow up on, 2. will change you and your wives relationship? Not bloody likely. From what you've written I get the impression this type of drama is nothing new to your life and like a pig in the mud, you just love to wallow. There will always be excuses and you will always feel misunderstood.
One last thing. Has your wife read this thread?0 -
Have they read your profile?! ADHD, omg! There's no winning an argument! lol!
LOL. Yes0 -
502 posts since July.0
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Have your wife watch these and then maybe she'll rethink the situation
1. Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead
2. Forks over Knives
3. Killer at "Large"
These are (3) documentaries I suggest all my MFP friends to watch at your leisure on Netflex or rent if possible.0 -
My secrets to making healthy meals on a grad-student budget:
1. Huge pots of soup, chili, or beans (black eyed peas or mexi-style black beans are AMAZING). Leftovers for days, and super satisfying.
2. Plant-based diet. 1 pound of chickpeas or lentils is cheaper than 1 pound of meat (not to mention the lower carbon footprint). Buy beans and legumes in bulk. Sure, you have to think ahead and soak them, but it's a much cheaper alternative to meat or canned beans.
Might I suggest trying to win your wife over with some long-term financial planning? Since processed foods are more likely to lead to metabolic syndrome (high blood pressure, obesity, diabetes), ask her to factor the cost of insulin and blood pressure medication into your long-term budget. Maybe she'll think twice about letting you buy some kale and quinoa instead of hamburger helper.
This! 100%!0
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