Impossible to eat healthy when in debt

MerryWidow1

Could her reason for wanting fast food be because she didn't have to cook it and it was ready right now? I've fallen in to that trap too many times. Your crockpot is your friend. If you aren't the cook, perhaps the two of you can trade off. She may do Hamburger Helper on her nights, but you can cook healthy on your nights. That's 50% better than total junk food.

Also -- can you put in a garden? Fall gardens are good for salad greens and a few fast growing vegetables.

rhayze12

There has to be a fine balance. My wife was the same way but not because of debt, because of her culture. She believed in big meals, with alot of Fat, grease, and meals that wren't good for me nor my kids. What I did was start slowly; I first replaced the white bread with wheat or whole grain bread, I got her to understand thru multimedia that this bread was the best for our health. Then I went I got some ground Turkey, Quinoa, Salmon and a few other great items, and over a period of time I got her to adjust her attitude towards food. We still eat her foods once in awhile but she slowly has accepted that I was looking out for the kids and us in the long run. I can tell you, that you have to use your kids as the Catullus. Also check out this website, its can help you describe what food does to your body, and how good foods help. I used this on my kids and my wife. It WORKED!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g_i2sbhOUEs&feature=youtube_gdata_player

noneya2010

Dude. What?

It's not that expensive to eat healthy where I live. It would be cheaper to get the veggies and fish then it would be to go to the fast food.

I feel bad for you that where you live healthy food is so expensive. I would sit down with your wife and some grocery fliers and figure out what can be done.

Fresh produce is kind of expensive here too. Especially during winter. Spring/summer it's not too bad, but there's really no room for excuses.

Crops don't grow well in Michigan. We do have our local farmers markets, but the weather here is so inconsistent. We had a rainless spring/summer, snowless winter, and the "dog days of Augest" came in July (highest temp 112F). Take into consideration that we are land locked, overpopulated, and too focused on cars and you have an agriculture nightmare... And living close to Detroit isn't much better since Fast Food places are EVERYWHERE!

Unfortunately, convenient fast food over waiting an hour for food to be cooked is more appealing when you could care less about how fat you are (everyone here is fat - Michigan is one of the highest overweight states last I saw).

Le sigh... All I want is to be healthy and pass down good morals; is it really that much to ask for?

I totally understand about the time in cooking. This is where the convenience of eating out seems better sometimes than eating healthier. I work from 7:30-5:00; pick up my youngest child from school and then have to go home and cook, get homework started, dinner on the table, dishes done, bathtime, reading time, and then bedtime. Oh and I am also trying to squeeze in a 30-45 minute walk in there too. It is hard, but many do it. You have to have a plan and work the plan and it all will work and come together.

Search websites for easy, healthy meals that don't take long to cook. Do some prep work on things on your day(s) off/weekends. If your kids are old enough, get them involved in helping too however they can. do you have a grill? Crockpot? Both of these are great for pulling together quick and healthy meals.

And I know TX is on up there with fattest population too.

Like you said, you will be teaching your kids good habits and now is the time to do that! Not when they are fighting the battle of the buldge or diabetes or other ailments due to fast food and poor eating.

restoreleanne

I have Celiac too I feed my family of 5 for $450-500 a month. we do eat a lot of organic food, but that is mainly do to what costco has. Buying on sale or in bulk is your best bet for g free food.

noneya2010

I"m sorry but eating well is not going to make you poor and eating poorly is not going to make you rich. silly. If I stopped buying veggies and only bought top ramen and hamburger helper I would not even come close to saving enough to go on an "exotic vacation" this is just weird.

Her parents didn't teach her economics. She understands business economics, but family economics don't work the same way.

Ha! It has taken my husband about 10 years to teach me and now I am better than he is!! LOL My DH played a pretty hard ball game and stuck his foot down and you know what? I got out of debt, we have healthy kids, and we live a good life. Sounds like you need to sit your wife down and have a serious talk and get her on board your ship.

slbeutler

:huh: Ok... being a fiscally conservative family, that is trying to dig ourselves out of debt as well... I don't seen any reason why your family can't eat healthy... I don't think it has to do with politics as it does with just point of view... as a registered Republican (though not a practicing one) I have always believed that one must eat right and exercise in order to reduce the risks of health problems (now practicing what I preach is a different story otherwise I would not be here)... thus, I agree with you... however, it is kinda hard to swallow paying for quinoa... which I can't seem to do myself, but that's more of my frugal upbringing rather than my political upbringing.... But in our house we always have fresh produce, lean cuts of meat (even fish... though I stink at cooking it) and the like... though I will admit, I'm not too keen on paying the exorbitent prices for organic either, but I do when there isn't that great of a price difference.

My fight comes when my husband would rather have hamburger helper from a box, than a homemade version with real cheese. :grumble:

All 4 of us in the family have dietary intolerances too so it's not like we are eating this way to be fiscally irresponsible; we are eating this way because this is the diet that our body does not manifest any cognitive or physical symptoms for!

My wife too would rather have random ground beef in a processed box mixture (containing gluten which I have issue with and no nutritional value) than a homemade meal (full of nutrition and not gluten!). She would rather spend her money on exotic trips around the world than healthy food so she and her kids can be healthy (oh and her husband can be alive too).

I think you might have more of a marriage problem then a grocery problem. Marriages are give and take and it seems like you might be pretty stressed about how your marriage is sitting right now. She should be considering your feelings as well not just her own. Being debt free will be amazing, but at the cost of your marriage?:flowerforyou:

I was going to say the same thing. It sounds like more of an issue with you and your wife. I think you should take a financial class together, like the Dave Ramsey one mentioned earlier or others offered and it might help for you to come to an agreement somewhere in the middle.

survivor1952

We have a big garden & I freeze a lot of the produce we grow. I also watch ads for sales & stock up, make grocery lists & stick to them, meal plan ahead. If you really are committed to eating healthier you can afford to do it.

I used to think "healthy" food was so expensive. But then I would look at the price of a bag of potato chips vs. fresh fruit and realize the $$$ spent on eating healthy was better spent. I see these "dollar menus" advertised at fast food places & all I can think is, yeah the food is cheap but wait till you have doctor bills to pay from eating it !!!

Debt doesn't come just from our grocery bills. Take a look at the big picture

Gramps251

Crops don't grow well in Michigan. We do have our local farmers markets, but the weather here is so inconsistent. We had a rainless spring/summer, snowless winter, and the "dog days of Augest" came in July (highest temp 112F). Take into consideration that we are land locked, overpopulated, and too focused on cars and you have an agriculture nightmare... And living close to Detroit isn't much better since Fast Food places are EVERYWHERE!

Unfortunately, convenient fast food over waiting an hour for food to be cooked is more appealing when you could care less about how fat you are (everyone here is fat - Michigan is one of the highest overweight states last I saw).

Le sigh... All I want is to be healthy and pass down good morals; is it really that much to ask for?

First off, I only live a few miles from you're town and crops grow fine in Michigan. Even this year with above average heat my gardens did fine and I can always find good, reasonably priced produce year round. The tomatos and basil in my profile picture are from my garden this year.

Second. You really should be talking to your wife about this.

Third. You are really good at finding excuses. As long as you keep finding reasons things can't happen you will be a victim. When you tell yourself "I can make this work" you will succeed.

Fourth. When did Michigan become land locked?????? LOL

noneya2010

And sadly, debt will ruin your marriage and your family if you don't get on the same page. This is going outside of your post -- but something that might be helpful.

Not sure if you both work or what your situation is. Or if she has more debts than you. My husband has always been debt free. I always had a LOT of debt. When we married, he knew what a horrible money manager I was/big spender, etc. He wanted to take over but I refused to give him total control over my income!! (yes, I have some controlling issues!)

We opened a joint account that just covered house expenses only --rent, utilities, internet, electric, groceries, car insurance, daycare, etc. Then he had his own separate account and I had my own separate account. We made a household budget and then we both put in a set amount of money from our checks each month to cover the household expenses (for us, we put in equal amount). Every few months, we re-evaluate the budget and see where we can tighten up, where we overspent, etc.

This also allows me to buy something from the health food store if I want it -- because I buy it from my own funds. Just like I can't say anything about my husband buying cigarettes because he does that with his own money. (Hey, I still complain about it though!)

If we want to go on a trip, we determine how much more we need to each add to the 'house' account that goes into savings for a trip or house renovation project.

Just something to throw out there.

Money can be the root of a lot of evil and problems - especially in a marriage.

wftiger

If you buy meat in bulk and veggies in season then that is cheaper and better then 1 dollar burgers. Have you priced out a bag of rice or beans? Both less then a buck where I live and neither have gluten. I can get chicken all day long at Sam's Club for less then 2 bucks a pound and frozen veggies at any store for about 58 cents a bag.

While I will readily admit that eating healthy is no where near as cheap as not, it is not a terrible burden. Also, eat right and you don't need to eat as much to fill up. Look around there are sites that can help.

Here is one to get you started and remember Google is your friend. http://budgetbytes.blogspot.com/

miss_erynn

YOU HAVE AN EXCUSE FOR EVERY SUGGESTION MADE, TO DATE.

(anyone else see this?)

I HAVE A SOLUTION:

MOVE THE HELL OUT (taking your portion of the debt with you, leave her with her own), THEN YOU CAN EAT HEALTHY and not worry about your "overweight, money-hungry" wife.

PROBLEM: SOLVED.

MichelleLaree13

I am sensitive to being in debt so I understand where your wife is coming from but also there is no need to sacrafice health either. There are lots of healthy options that dont cost a lot. Meat is spendy. Maybe it is time to cut it out until it is affordable. Think homemade cornbread and vegetarian chili (rice, beans, cheap veggies). For $10 you could make enough for at least 2 days.
Homemade ww banana pancakes and eggs... like $5 for all you can eat

morningmud

I don't have any real advise but I understand the frustration of dealing with an uncooperative spouse. My bf used to do all the food shopping and cooking. I had no idea how to cook. We had plenty of arguments over it and he even admitting sabotaging me. I eventually refused to eat when he served crap and went to bed without dinner a few times. He finally saw that I wasn't giving in and would have my way. I did well, lost 40 lbs until I gave up and started eating badly and stopped working out. This time around, I'm in control of all the food as he's now a truck driver.

I would take a stand and let them eat how they want but you eat how you want. Perhaps you could be inspirational to her.

lynneeb63

Sorry, you're probably going to have to do the shopping and, hence, the cooking. That gives you control over the llong-range meal planning--and that's what it takes to eat well on a budget. Costco just offered $4.00 on frozen 3 pound bags of frozen salmon a couple weeks ago--so I bought as many as I could fit into my freezer. You'd be surprised how many ways you can prepare salmon simply. My four bags will last us 2 months (we LOVE salmon). I used to buy lettuce and fruit at Costco, but find that it ends up being just too much, and not always super fresh (so into the garbage with half of it)/ So now I use Trader Joe's and a local health-oriented supermarket (that carries lots of veggies, often on special) conveniently across the street from TJ's.

Also, you might try Trader Joe's. Most people think it's expensive; but you might be very surprised at their-lower-than -he-grocery-store prices for dairy, greens, canned goods, spices, and frozen meats, and (relatively healthy) cereals and chips. And the quality and taste of the food is absolutely better. For "emergency meals", take a look through their frozen section. I just bought a frozen vegetable lasagna (4 generous servings) for about $5.00 (and even my vegetable-hating teen thinks it's tasty). Add a green salad (spring mix is $1.99/bag) and skim milk (about $2.70) and you even have cash left over for a fairly healthy dessert of fruit floes (100 calories and $1.99 for 4 servings). One rule: take a list and stick to it. TJ's also carries all kinds of wonderful chocolate covered candies and desserts that will sabotage both your budget and waistline!

Maybe you can strike a deal: 1 night out with the burgers and the rest at home? Good luck and stick to your guns.

EccentricDad

Sorry, you're probably going to have to do the shopping and, hence, the cooking. That gives you control over the llong-range meal planning--and that's what it takes to eat well on a budget. Costco just offered $4.00 on frozen 3 pound bags of frozen salmon a couple weeks ago--so I bought as many as I could fit into my freezer. You'd be surprised how many ways you can prepare salmon simply. My four bags will last us 2 months (we LOVE salmon). I used to buy lettuce and fruit at Costco, but find that it ends up being just too much, and not always super fresh (so into the garbage with half of it)/ So now I use Trader Joe's and a local health-oriented supermarket (that carries lots of veggies, often on special) conveniently across the street from TJ's.

Also, you might try Trader Joe's. Most people think it's expensive; but you might be very surprised at their-lower-than -he-grocery-store prices for dairy, greens, canned goods, spices, and frozen meats, and (relatively healthy) cereals and chips. And the quality and taste of the food is absolutely better. For "emergency meals", take a look through their frozen section. I just bought a frozen vegetable lasagna (4 generous servings) for about $5.00 (and even my vegetable-hating teen thinks it's tasty). Add a green salad (spring mix is $1.99/bag) and skim milk (about $2.70) and you even have cash left over for a fairly healthy dessert of fruit floes (100 calories and $1.99 for 4 servings). One rule: take a list and stick to it. TJ's also carries all kinds of wonderful chocolate covered candies and desserts that will sabotage both your budget and waistline!

Maybe you can strike a deal: 1 night out with the burgers and the rest at home? Good luck and stick to your guns.

I already do all the shopping and the cooking. The only thing my wife does is work a job (I'm a homemaker). The problem is when she spends my grocery money on triple payments on bills or stashing it for family trips she has planned; this dips in the "eat healthy fund" and then we start to fight when I just charge it instead because I refuse to eat unhealthy.

overfences

Dude, take it to a therapist. You are obviously angry and only looking to publicly bash your family rather to than find real solutions.

I feel sorry for your family, since you've clearly stated that you think you're so much better than them.

Maybe your wife is being ultra frugal because she can see the writing on the wall.

skinnyitaliannn

Not expensive for me. Actually, it's easier, way cheaper. I have a produce store less then a mile down the street and I never spend over $40 there on all veggies, fruit, fresh banana breads, spinach pies, etc

EccentricDad

Dude, take it to a therapist. You are obviously angry and only looking to publicly bash your family rather to than find real solutions.

I feel sorry for your family, since you've clearly stated that you think you're so much better than them.

Maybe your wife is being ultra frugal because she can see the writing on the wall.

Don't psycho analyze me. People get angry and have to vent. And this is a legitimate problem that everyone has to face. Yes, this is a marriage problem more than a nutrition problem but finding out people are eating on a $80/week budget for a family of 4 is cheaper than me so maybe I'm being stubborn. The point is, don't push your opinion if you are going to be a d-bag about it. Show some respect would you?

EDIT: And no, I don't think I'm better than anyone. It's taken me 30 years to feel like I was worth anything more than dirt; do you really want to be that guy who knocks me off the little self confidence I have?

wlkumpf

I would compromise. Have a quinoa meal served with black beans one day and have a great piece of fish served with steamed frozen vegies another. There is always a compromise

Somtimes looking at rice or other whole grains that are cheaper might take precedence for a short while. Red beans and rice with frozen or canned vegies have a lot of yummy nutrients. Eggs are a really great source of cheap protein.

Not sure if you do organic, maybe you can look at a list and agree on a few ways to cut back by not worrying if it is organic. Do you have an Aldi's? Maybe you could agree to get fruits and vegies there for a while to save some money. I buy most of mine at sams but I would not recommend splurging for a membership if you don't have one.

Lots of people on here are really frugal with the meals they serve, look back and see what works with your dietary needs. Make a list of every ingredient your family can all share, figure out a few you agree not to buy often, find the cheaper substitutions on the list and compromise

BodyByButter

I see that you are in MI. Is there a Meijer there? I can hook you up with a secret shopper program there if you are interested. You get some reimbursed groceries and a fee for the shop.