getting old :-(

Options
deniseearheart
deniseearheart Posts: 919 Member
in Chit-Chat
My birthday is approaching and I am worried because my guy forgot my birthday the first year we were together and since then I have reminded him but this year I decided to not say anything to see if he remembers on his own and it is stressing me out.... Plus I am starting to notice little things like while we are having dinner, if I finish first I pick up his plate and take it to the sink with mine but if he finishes first he just takes his . I always do little things for him like serving him coffee, making his lunches, doing his laundry... Little things to show I care but I don't feel like I am getting much back and YES I have talked to him several times...... Maybe I am being petty or I am just PMS'ing who knows ... point is it is really on my mind and had to talk about it.....
«13456

Replies

  • Dub_D
    Dub_D Posts: 1,760 Member
    Options
    Just break up.
  • Homer3D
    Homer3D Posts: 318
    Options
    Just break up.

    e31.jpg
  • dane11235813
    dane11235813 Posts: 684 Member
    Options
    not taking your dish to the kitchen? definitely a deal breaker. i'd listen to Dani's advice
  • Akimajuktuq
    Akimajuktuq Posts: 3,037 Member
    Options
    Unfortunately, some men just don't think about little things like that. My step father never did little thoughtful things for my mom and didn't buy her gifts. He did find flowers in the garbage one day and brought those home to my mom! lol But he was a very, very loving and caring man. He would have done anything for my mom, me, and my child, but he just didn't think of little things and wasn't inclined to buy things he didn't need (ie gifts); his mind just didn't work like that.

    IMO, you should communicate as best you can with him (and you probably already did) and then choose to accept him unconditionally, or not accept him and let him go.
  • deniseearheart
    deniseearheart Posts: 919 Member
    Options
    not taking your dish to the kitchen? definitely a deal breaker. i'd listen to Dani's advice




    well it's the little things that kill!!! Obviously that is not the biggest issue..
  • deniseearheart
    deniseearheart Posts: 919 Member
    Options
    Unfortunately, some men just don't think about little things like that. My step father never did little thoughtful things for my mom and didn't buy her gifts. He did find flowers in the garbage one day and brought those home to my mom! lol But he was a very, very loving and caring man. He would have done anything for my mom, me, and my child, but he just didn't think of little things and wasn't inclined to buy things he didn't need (ie gifts); his mind just didn't work like that.

    IMO, you should communicate as best you can with him (and you probably already did) and then choose to accept him unconditionally, or not accept him and let him go.





    I don't like that ! I always do little things so I want to be with someone who is like that to....
  • butterfli7o
    butterfli7o Posts: 1,319 Member
    Options
    Sorry girl. My first husband did things like that. It's definitely the little things sometimes. How long have you been together? At some point he should definitely remember your birthday!
  • curvygirl77
    curvygirl77 Posts: 769 Member
    Options
    Talk with him; he probably is unaware of his actions and I'm sure it's unintentional
  • deniseearheart
    deniseearheart Posts: 919 Member
    Options
    Sorry girl. My first husband did things like that. It's definitely the little things sometimes. How long have you been together? At some point he should definitely remember your birthday!



    we have been together almost 4 years
  • deniseearheart
    deniseearheart Posts: 919 Member
    Options
    Talk with him; he probably is unaware of his actions and I'm sure it's unintentional



    I hope so
  • butterfli7o
    butterfli7o Posts: 1,319 Member
    Options
    Four years? Yeah, he needs to be remembering your birthday by now...
  • deniseearheart
    deniseearheart Posts: 919 Member
    Options
    Four years? Yeah, he needs to be remembering your birthday by now...



    I know. I don't get it :-/ I always remember his ... Always do something special for him because I love him. Things you do when you love someone. Even before I was in love with him.
  • slobutmelo
    slobutmelo Posts: 7
    Options
    Why don't you 'forget' his birthday and see what he thinks. And maybe you shouldn't do the little things that show you love him and see if he notices. If he mentions it, ask him why it's so important to him but not important when it comes to you. If not, then he's just clueless and you need to talk with him and let him know how you really feel and how it makes you feel. A lot of guys out there, me included, are pretty clueless about a lot of things. One day my wife mentioned that the living room was messy and I agreed. Later on she was stomping around and was mad, I could at least see that. So I asked her what she was mad about and she said that I didn't clean up the living room. Well she never asked me to. I told my wife that I'm not a mind reader and if something is bothering her or she wants something done, she needs to talk with me and spell it out, not drop me hints and think I'll pick it up.
  • mfpcopine
    mfpcopine Posts: 3,093 Member
    Options
    Just break up.

    e31.jpg

    When people post a question like that in this forum, that's often what they want to hear. Or at least get a strong response to which they can react. If she's been with this guy for four years and he has a lot of annoying, selfish habits that haven't changed despite discussions AND he doesn't remember her birthday (NO excuse today with electronic reminders), then maybe it is time for her to think of saying good-bye.
  • iAMsmiling
    iAMsmiling Posts: 2,394 Member
    Options
    I've been married 17 years.
    My wife almost never remembers my birthday. She managed to remember before the day was half over this year, which is good for her.
    Some people are wired to think about another person's feelings and needs before there own, some learn it over time. Some never get it at all. Unfortunately, many men fall in to that last category.

    Talk to him about it. Do it with as little emotion and reproach as you can manage, but don't expect he'll change. He will, or he won't. Not your choice.
    From there, you can only decide how who he is affects who you are together.
  • tacormier
    tacormier Posts: 20 Member
    Options
    Unfortunately, some men just don't think about little things like that. My step father never did little thoughtful things for my mom and didn't buy her gifts. He did find flowers in the garbage one day and brought those home to my mom! lol But he was a very, very loving and caring man. He would have done anything for my mom, me, and my child, but he just didn't think of little things and wasn't inclined to buy things he didn't need (ie gifts); his mind just didn't work like that.

    IMO, you should communicate as best you can with him (and you probably already did) and then choose to accept him unconditionally, or not accept him and let him go.



    I don't like that ! I always do little things so I want to be with someone who is like that to....

    I agree with the first quote above. He will not change, so do yourself a favour and either accept it and move on or break up and move on!
  • coliema
    coliema Posts: 7,646 Member
    Options
    My birthday is approaching and I am worried because my guy forgot my birthday the first year we were together and since then I have reminded him but this year I decided to not say anything to see if he remembers on his own and it is stressing me out.... Plus I am starting to notice little things like while we are having dinner, if I finish first I pick up his plate and take it to the sink with mine but if he finishes first he just takes his . I always do little things for him like serving him coffee, making his lunches, doing his laundry... Little things to show I care but I don't feel like I am getting much back and YES I have talked to him several times...... Maybe I am being petty or I am just PMS'ing who knows ... point is it is really on my mind and had to talk about it.....
    It's because he is a GUY, they are supposed to be inconsiderate and rude, hello!
  • CynthiaElise
    CynthiaElise Posts: 262 Member
    Options
    Just break up.

    e31.jpg

    HAHAHA! Yessssssssssss!
  • deniseearheart
    deniseearheart Posts: 919 Member
    Options
    Just break up.

    e31.jpg

    When people post a question like that in this forum, that's often what they want to hear. Or at least get a strong response to which they can react. If she's been with this guy for four years and he has a lot of annoying, selfish habits that haven't changed despite discussions AND he doesn't remember her birthday (NO excuse today with electronic reminders), then maybe it is time for her to think of saying good-bye.







    yes you could be right....
  • deniseearheart
    deniseearheart Posts: 919 Member
    Options
    My birthday is approaching and I am worried because my guy forgot my birthday the first year we were together and since then I have reminded him but this year I decided to not say anything to see if he remembers on his own and it is stressing me out.... Plus I am starting to notice little things like while we are having dinner, if I finish first I pick up his plate and take it to the sink with mine but if he finishes first he just takes his . I always do little things for him like serving him coffee, making his lunches, doing his laundry... Little things to show I care but I don't feel like I am getting much back and YES I have talked to him several times...... Maybe I am being petty or I am just PMS'ing who knows ... point is it is really on my mind and had to talk about it.....
    It's because he is a GUY, they are supposed to be inconsiderate and rude, hello!
    [/quote





    No I don't agree with that! maybe young men but I always go for men a little older like in their late 30's or early to mid 40's and the ones I have dated have been very considerate.. Not sure what is going on with Derrick.

Categories