getting old :-(
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If a guy loves you he would remember your birthday, especially after being together for over a year! I think you should not say anything and see if he remembers. If he doesn't it's pretty inconsiderate and I would just move on! As far as helping out some guys are just lazy and don't do that! I don't know if it's because their mommy always did it for them and never taught them how to clean up after themselves or what! If I don't clear my husband's plate he will leave it on the table regardless how many times I ask him not too and dishes would sit in the sink forever if I didn't do it! I would just take a break and stop doing some of those things you do for him and see if he will do it himself for a change!0
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If she's been with this guy for four years and he has a lot of annoying, selfish habits that haven't changed despite discussions AND he doesn't remember her birthday (NO excuse today with electronic reminders), then maybe it is time for her to think of saying good-bye.
If these are things that you cannot learn to deal with for the rest of your lives together, then yes, it is time to reevaluate the relationship. I agree, it IS the little things that make a good relationship work. And if your communicating your feelings to him is doing nothing, then you have a problem on your hands.
Go to counseling, work through this, or break up with him, but for God's sake, do it NOW before you're even MORE emotionally invested. What I'm confused about is why you let a relationship that is consistently disappointing in the "little things" department drag on for FOR YEARS...0 -
If she's been with this guy for four years and he has a lot of annoying, selfish habits that haven't changed despite discussions AND he doesn't remember her birthday (NO excuse today with electronic reminders), then maybe it is time for her to think of saying good-bye.
If these are things that you cannot learn to deal with for the rest of your lives together, then yes, it is time to reevaluate the relationship. I agree, it IS the little things that make a good relationship work. And if your communicating your feelings to him is doing nothing, then you have a problem on your hands.
Go to counseling, work through this, or break up with him, but for God's sake, do it NOW before you're even MORE emotionally invested. What I'm confused about is why you let a relationship that is consistently disappointing in the "little things" department drag on for FOR YEARS...
He was wonderful in the beginning and I try to not just give up but it has been 4 years and I am not getting any younger.....0 -
Just tell him that you will let him **** you in the *kitten* on your birthday and only on your birthday. He will never forget again!!!
For the win...^^^^^0 -
Honestly.... my husband and I both struggle to remember our wedding anniversary... me more than him! And this coming from the girl who remembers things from preschool ffs! Sometimes certain things just don't click and it isn't because they're unimportant it just is. We laughed about it this year when he said to me.. you realize our wedding anniversary was last week? Years ago and in other situations this would have been a deal breaker but honestly it just doesn't seem that important. I know he loves me and he knows I love him and that's all that really matters. Hope you find a resolution
Talk to him and see where it goes from there. xoxxox gl
Sure, people are busy and it is possible to forget an event. But that's why you set reminders on sites like Amazon.com or Google Calendar to alert you. If you can't even be bothered to do that and you know the other person will be hurt you have to look at yourself.0 -
Just tell him that you will let him **** you in the *kitten* on your birthday and only on your birthday. He will never forget again!!!
For the win...^^^^^
actually wont work. he is not into that0 -
Have you ever read the book "The Five Love Languages"? You may be loving him in your love language (Acts of Service from what I guess) and that is obviously not his love language. He may love you in his love language (Gifts...doesn't sound like it, Physical touch, words of Affirmation, Quality time). You may both be loving each other but speaking a different language! Try taking the assessment (google the book and there's a free site and quiz) to help you figure out how you can show him you love him in his love language and he can find out what yours is. After that, if he makes NO effort at all to change, then it may be time for some counseling if you truly want to work it thru or it may be time to be done...
I was about to say this. Literally, just about to say this. 5 Love Languages. It should be required reading.0 -
Give him a taste of his own medicine. If he cared enough he would make it a point to remember your birthday and anything that is special to you.0
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Give him a taste of his own medicine. If he cared enough he would make it a point to remember your birthday and anything that is special to you.
Ya I suppose I could.. we just got back into town though and are staying with his parents since last week and probably for a few more days or another week so if I did not do things for him his mom would not like it haha0 -
It remembers the birthday or it gets the hose again.0
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gotta learn to pick your battles. Some people just forget. Roll with it, if you like him. Tell him it's your birthday. Tell him what you want. Why sit around waiting to be mad if he forgets. Been married 19 years. Sometimes he remembers, sometimes no. Don't think he has ever really remembered anniversary. These are trivial things. He comes home every night, takes care of our family, and is a great guy ( just a forgetful one). I'd rather have one who loved me every day than just on birthdays and anniversaries.0
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Why would you want to give him a taste of his own medicine? How would that help the situation???? Would it make you feel better? Maybe for a second, but in the long run it doesn't help the issue.0
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It's probably just his personality. Some guys notice the little things and reciprocate them and others don't. I got lucky when I found myself a very thoughtful man, and in return for being such an all-around awesome guy, I treat him VERY well. :smooched: We are very fond of each other and proud of our relationship and it shows in how we interact.
You might just be extra sensitive because you are stressing right now. If he really is kind of a thoughtless jerk, though, think about whether or not you want to settle. Some girls don't mind guys like that, just like some guys seem to like *****y women. Each to his/her own I guess... Good luck! :flowerforyou:0 -
Everytime he gets up to bring his plate in the kirchen, I think you should just tell him on the spot, "hey, you forgot to bring my plate!"
Repeat, repeat, repeat.
Then he'll get it after 20times. Same for everything else.0 -
It remembers the birthday or it gets the hose again.
bahahhahahah ok this made me laugh0 -
Everytime he gets up to bring his plate in the kirchen, I think you should just tell him on the spot, "hey, you forgot to bring my plate!"
Repeat, repeat, repeat.
Then he'll get it after 20times. Same for everything else.
hahahah good idea to LOL0 -
My hubby doesn't do little things like that. But you know what he does? Busts his *kitten* so I can stay home with my kids and not work. Supports me in my decision to start college at 25. But you know, you're right. It's the little things that count. I think in the morning I'll file for divorce. :grumble:0
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The Five Love Languages. You both should read and discuss. It really opened my eyes to where I can improve being a better girlfriend, friend, daughter, etc to someone.0
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2012 young lady. You are not Edith Bunker.0
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I ad a friend that I worked with that never forgot to send me a card for my birthday, christmas etc..I remember thinking it was odd that he'd remember these things...then a few years ago he came out of the closet. There is a point behind this...not all men are good at remembering things. Sometimes I have to think twice to remember my kids middle name. Just saying....don't read too much into it if he treats you like a queen other times. If he doesn't treat you well...then dump his *kitten*.0
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Have you ever read the book "The Five Love Languages"? You may be loving him in your love language (Acts of Service from what I guess) and that is obviously not his love language. He may love you in his love language (Gifts...doesn't sound like it, Physical touch, words of Affirmation, Quality time). You may both be loving each other but speaking a different language! Try taking the assessment (google the book and there's a free site and quiz) to help you figure out how you can show him you love him in his love language and he can find out what yours is. After that, if he makes NO effort at all to change, then it may be time for some counseling if you truly want to work it thru or it may be time to be done...
^^^
This...The Five Love Languages is a great book. It really helped my husband and I. Another one is Love and Respect. It's written in a very conversational tone and can be a little goofy but there are a lot of good points to take away. Good Luck.0 -
My hubby doesn't do little things like that. But you know what he does? Busts his *kitten* so I can stay home with my kids and not work. Supports me in my decision to start college at 25. But you know, you're right. It's the little things that count. I think in the morning I'll file for divorce. :grumble:
yes well your situation is different my dear!0 -
I ad a friend that I worked with that never forgot to send me a card for my birthday, christmas etc..I remember thinking it was odd that he'd remember these things...then a few years ago he came out of the closet. There is a point behind this...not all men are good at remembering things. Sometimes I have to think twice to remember my kids middle name. Just saying....don't read too much into it if he treats you like a queen other times. If he doesn't treat you well...then dump his *kitten*.
haha 0 -
Have you ever read the book "The Five Love Languages"? You may be loving him in your love language (Acts of Service from what I guess) and that is obviously not his love language. He may love you in his love language (Gifts...doesn't sound like it, Physical touch, words of Affirmation, Quality time). You may both be loving each other but speaking a different language! Try taking the assessment (google the book and there's a free site and quiz) to help you figure out how you can show him you love him in his love language and he can find out what yours is. After that, if he makes NO effort at all to change, then it may be time for some counseling if you truly want to work it thru or it may be time to be done...
^^^
This...The Five Love Languages is a great book. It really helped my husband and I. Another one is Love and Respect. It's written in a very conversational tone and can be a little goofy but there are a lot of good points to take away. Good Luck.
yes a few people have mentioned them. I will have to check them out0 -
My hubby doesn't do little things like that. But you know what he does? Busts his *kitten* so I can stay home with my kids and not work. Supports me in my decision to start college at 25. But you know, you're right. It's the little things that count. I think in the morning I'll file for divorce. :grumble:
yes well your situation is different my dear!
I wonder if the person above needs to take Remedial Reading as part of her college course load.0 -
I ad a friend that I worked with that never forgot to send me a card for my birthday, christmas etc..I remember thinking it was odd that he'd remember these things...then a few years ago he came out of the closet. There is a point behind this...not all men are good at remembering things. Sometimes I have to think twice to remember my kids middle name. Just saying....don't read too much into it if he treats you like a queen other times. If he doesn't treat you well...then dump his *kitten*.
Your suggestion that only a gay man could remember someone's birthday is absurd. People remember things that are important to them, or they find mechanisms to help them remember. And it's not just men: some women here have admitted to the same problem.0 -
Have you ever read the book "The Five Love Languages"? You may be loving him in your love language (Acts of Service from what I guess) and that is obviously not his love language. He may love you in his love language (Gifts...doesn't sound like it, Physical touch, words of Affirmation, Quality time). You may both be loving each other but speaking a different language! Try taking the assessment (google the book and there's a free site and quiz) to help you figure out how you can show him you love him in his love language and he can find out what yours is. After that, if he makes NO effort at all to change, then it may be time for some counseling if you truly want to work it thru or it may be time to be done...
^^^
This...The Five Love Languages is a great book. It really helped my husband and I. Another one is Love and Respect. It's written in a very conversational tone and can be a little goofy but there are a lot of good points to take away. Good Luck.
yes a few people have mentioned them. I will have to check them out
After i read the 5 languages of love i promply realized my wife was cheating on me and we got divorced
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My hubby doesn't do little things like that. But you know what he does? Busts his *kitten* so I can stay home with my kids and not work. Supports me in my decision to start college at 25. But you know, you're right. It's the little things that count. I think in the morning I'll file for divorce. :grumble:
yes well your situation is different my dear!
I wonder if the person above needs to take Remedial Reading as part of her college course load.
LOL :laugh:0 -
Have you ever read the book "The Five Love Languages"? You may be loving him in your love language (Acts of Service from what I guess) and that is obviously not his love language. He may love you in his love language (Gifts...doesn't sound like it, Physical touch, words of Affirmation, Quality time). You may both be loving each other but speaking a different language! Try taking the assessment (google the book and there's a free site and quiz) to help you figure out how you can show him you love him in his love language and he can find out what yours is. After that, if he makes NO effort at all to change, then it may be time for some counseling if you truly want to work it thru or it may be time to be done...
^^^
This...The Five Love Languages is a great book. It really helped my husband and I. Another one is Love and Respect. It's written in a very conversational tone and can be a little goofy but there are a lot of good points to take away. Good Luck.
yes a few people have mentioned them. I will have to check them out
After i read the 5 languages of love i promply realized my wife was cheating on me and we got divorced
oh no!!! hope I don't discover something like that
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He must know roughly when your birthday is! If he knows it's in September he can check Facebook for the exact date. If he doesn't care enough to check that (let alone remember the exact date) I'm sorry, he just doesn't care and should be dumped.0
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