getting old :-(

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  • hooperkay
    hooperkay Posts: 463 Member
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    gotta learn to pick your battles. Some people just forget. Roll with it, if you like him. Tell him it's your birthday. Tell him what you want. Why sit around waiting to be mad if he forgets. Been married 19 years. Sometimes he remembers, sometimes no. Don't think he has ever really remembered anniversary. These are trivial things. He comes home every night, takes care of our family, and is a great guy ( just a forgetful one). I'd rather have one who loved me every day than just on birthdays and anniversaries.
  • mommyjos
    mommyjos Posts: 98 Member
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    Why would you want to give him a taste of his own medicine? How would that help the situation???? Would it make you feel better? Maybe for a second, but in the long run it doesn't help the issue.
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
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    It's probably just his personality. Some guys notice the little things and reciprocate them and others don't. I got lucky when I found myself a very thoughtful man, and in return for being such an all-around awesome guy, I treat him VERY well. :smooched: We are very fond of each other and proud of our relationship and it shows in how we interact.

    You might just be extra sensitive because you are stressing right now. If he really is kind of a thoughtless jerk, though, think about whether or not you want to settle. Some girls don't mind guys like that, just like some guys seem to like *****y women. Each to his/her own I guess... Good luck! :flowerforyou:
  • kiminikimkim
    kiminikimkim Posts: 746 Member
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    Everytime he gets up to bring his plate in the kirchen, I think you should just tell him on the spot, "hey, you forgot to bring my plate!"

    Repeat, repeat, repeat.

    Then he'll get it after 20times. Same for everything else.
  • deniseearheart
    deniseearheart Posts: 919 Member
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    It remembers the birthday or it gets the hose again.







    bahahhahahah ok this made me laugh
  • deniseearheart
    deniseearheart Posts: 919 Member
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    Everytime he gets up to bring his plate in the kirchen, I think you should just tell him on the spot, "hey, you forgot to bring my plate!"

    Repeat, repeat, repeat.

    Then he'll get it after 20times. Same for everything else.






    hahahah good idea to LOL
  • AmyFett
    AmyFett Posts: 1,607 Member
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    My hubby doesn't do little things like that. But you know what he does? Busts his *kitten* so I can stay home with my kids and not work. Supports me in my decision to start college at 25. But you know, you're right. It's the little things that count. I think in the morning I'll file for divorce. :grumble:
  • mbk830
    mbk830 Posts: 164 Member
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    The Five Love Languages. You both should read and discuss. It really opened my eyes to where I can improve being a better girlfriend, friend, daughter, etc to someone.
  • bonniecarbs
    bonniecarbs Posts: 446 Member
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    2012 young lady. You are not Edith Bunker.
  • sixrings
    sixrings Posts: 96 Member
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    I ad a friend that I worked with that never forgot to send me a card for my birthday, christmas etc..I remember thinking it was odd that he'd remember these things...then a few years ago he came out of the closet. There is a point behind this...not all men are good at remembering things. Sometimes I have to think twice to remember my kids middle name. Just saying....don't read too much into it if he treats you like a queen other times. If he doesn't treat you well...then dump his *kitten*.
  • Eafears
    Eafears Posts: 135 Member
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    Have you ever read the book "The Five Love Languages"? You may be loving him in your love language (Acts of Service from what I guess) and that is obviously not his love language. He may love you in his love language (Gifts...doesn't sound like it, Physical touch, words of Affirmation, Quality time). You may both be loving each other but speaking a different language! Try taking the assessment (google the book and there's a free site and quiz) to help you figure out how you can show him you love him in his love language and he can find out what yours is. After that, if he makes NO effort at all to change, then it may be time for some counseling if you truly want to work it thru or it may be time to be done...

    ^^^
    This...The Five Love Languages is a great book. It really helped my husband and I. Another one is Love and Respect. It's written in a very conversational tone and can be a little goofy but there are a lot of good points to take away. Good Luck.
  • deniseearheart
    deniseearheart Posts: 919 Member
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    My hubby doesn't do little things like that. But you know what he does? Busts his *kitten* so I can stay home with my kids and not work. Supports me in my decision to start college at 25. But you know, you're right. It's the little things that count. I think in the morning I'll file for divorce. :grumble:




    yes well your situation is different my dear!
  • deniseearheart
    deniseearheart Posts: 919 Member
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    I ad a friend that I worked with that never forgot to send me a card for my birthday, christmas etc..I remember thinking it was odd that he'd remember these things...then a few years ago he came out of the closet. There is a point behind this...not all men are good at remembering things. Sometimes I have to think twice to remember my kids middle name. Just saying....don't read too much into it if he treats you like a queen other times. If he doesn't treat you well...then dump his *kitten*.





    haha :)
  • deniseearheart
    deniseearheart Posts: 919 Member
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    Have you ever read the book "The Five Love Languages"? You may be loving him in your love language (Acts of Service from what I guess) and that is obviously not his love language. He may love you in his love language (Gifts...doesn't sound like it, Physical touch, words of Affirmation, Quality time). You may both be loving each other but speaking a different language! Try taking the assessment (google the book and there's a free site and quiz) to help you figure out how you can show him you love him in his love language and he can find out what yours is. After that, if he makes NO effort at all to change, then it may be time for some counseling if you truly want to work it thru or it may be time to be done...

    ^^^
    This...The Five Love Languages is a great book. It really helped my husband and I. Another one is Love and Respect. It's written in a very conversational tone and can be a little goofy but there are a lot of good points to take away. Good Luck.





    yes a few people have mentioned them. I will have to check them out
  • mfpcopine
    mfpcopine Posts: 3,093 Member
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    My hubby doesn't do little things like that. But you know what he does? Busts his *kitten* so I can stay home with my kids and not work. Supports me in my decision to start college at 25. But you know, you're right. It's the little things that count. I think in the morning I'll file for divorce. :grumble:




    yes well your situation is different my dear!

    I wonder if the person above needs to take Remedial Reading as part of her college course load.
  • mfpcopine
    mfpcopine Posts: 3,093 Member
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    I ad a friend that I worked with that never forgot to send me a card for my birthday, christmas etc..I remember thinking it was odd that he'd remember these things...then a few years ago he came out of the closet. There is a point behind this...not all men are good at remembering things. Sometimes I have to think twice to remember my kids middle name. Just saying....don't read too much into it if he treats you like a queen other times. If he doesn't treat you well...then dump his *kitten*.

    Your suggestion that only a gay man could remember someone's birthday is absurd. People remember things that are important to them, or they find mechanisms to help them remember. And it's not just men: some women here have admitted to the same problem.
  • BigBrewski
    BigBrewski Posts: 922 Member
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    Have you ever read the book "The Five Love Languages"? You may be loving him in your love language (Acts of Service from what I guess) and that is obviously not his love language. He may love you in his love language (Gifts...doesn't sound like it, Physical touch, words of Affirmation, Quality time). You may both be loving each other but speaking a different language! Try taking the assessment (google the book and there's a free site and quiz) to help you figure out how you can show him you love him in his love language and he can find out what yours is. After that, if he makes NO effort at all to change, then it may be time for some counseling if you truly want to work it thru or it may be time to be done...

    ^^^
    This...The Five Love Languages is a great book. It really helped my husband and I. Another one is Love and Respect. It's written in a very conversational tone and can be a little goofy but there are a lot of good points to take away. Good Luck.





    yes a few people have mentioned them. I will have to check them out



    After i read the 5 languages of love i promply realized my wife was cheating on me and we got divorced :(
  • deniseearheart
    deniseearheart Posts: 919 Member
    Options
    My hubby doesn't do little things like that. But you know what he does? Busts his *kitten* so I can stay home with my kids and not work. Supports me in my decision to start college at 25. But you know, you're right. It's the little things that count. I think in the morning I'll file for divorce. :grumble:




    yes well your situation is different my dear!

    I wonder if the person above needs to take Remedial Reading as part of her college course load.





    LOL :laugh:
  • deniseearheart
    deniseearheart Posts: 919 Member
    Options
    Have you ever read the book "The Five Love Languages"? You may be loving him in your love language (Acts of Service from what I guess) and that is obviously not his love language. He may love you in his love language (Gifts...doesn't sound like it, Physical touch, words of Affirmation, Quality time). You may both be loving each other but speaking a different language! Try taking the assessment (google the book and there's a free site and quiz) to help you figure out how you can show him you love him in his love language and he can find out what yours is. After that, if he makes NO effort at all to change, then it may be time for some counseling if you truly want to work it thru or it may be time to be done...

    ^^^
    This...The Five Love Languages is a great book. It really helped my husband and I. Another one is Love and Respect. It's written in a very conversational tone and can be a little goofy but there are a lot of good points to take away. Good Luck.





    yes a few people have mentioned them. I will have to check them out



    After i read the 5 languages of love i promply realized my wife was cheating on me and we got divorced :(






    oh no!!! hope I don't discover something like that :cry:
  • LouiseRose92
    LouiseRose92 Posts: 112
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    He must know roughly when your birthday is! If he knows it's in September he can check Facebook for the exact date. If he doesn't care enough to check that (let alone remember the exact date) I'm sorry, he just doesn't care and should be dumped.

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