Got really mad at the supermarket today

mmtiernan

I've come to this thread the last few days, typed in a response, then deleted it. Typed in a new response, then deleted it. Here I go again....

I have a family of 6. Me, my husband, and 4 boys, ages 16, 15, 12, and 11. All are healthy weights, the 16 year old is actually under weight slightly. If I buy spaghettios (and I only buy them when I have a coupon or if they are on sale), each kid can eat a whole can. And this is with baby carrots on the side (I try to balance the good and the bad). When they make macaroni and cheese, the four of them go through 2 boxes at a time. We have chips in our house, and the kids will eat them with their lunch on weekends, but they've been taught how to count out a serving. We don't usually buy soda, except for holidays (the big ones--not including bank and post office holidays, lol) and birthdays. Of course, every kid has a favorite soda, so when we buy it, there's 4 different kinds (mt. dew, cherry pepsi, root beer, and coke).

I guess I'd like to point out that you don't know what the circumstances were for what that lady purchased. For Christmas, I checked out of the grocery store with 4 gallons of oil (yes I said gallons), 4 12 packs of soda, a 12 pack and a 6 pack of beer, 3 bags of mozzarella sticks, a bag of doritos, a bag of cheetos, and a bag of wavy regular chips. I also had a tub of dip and a jar of salsa. I had a jar of maraschino cherries and a bottle of grenadine and a 1/2 gallon of ice cream.

I know what my cart looked like, and yes, I kinda cringed when I checked out. We were having 18 people over for Christmas dinner. Dinner was a hot oil fondue. I had been preparing for it since October, buying meats when they were on sale. I get my veggies from a different store. This was the stuff that we needed, that we don't normally have in the house (at least in those quantities). It was not a regular shopping trip.

Seems like many people are operating under the assumption that all those spaghettios and mac-n-cheese were for the one little girl. Could just be for a family of 6.... picking up a few items on the way home from the daughter's dance class....

I too, have started a reply, deleted and started several times. I understand what you are saying - that you can't judge based on an individual instance of food purchase. However, your child are of normal weight and this child and her mother were not.

I've also read about children getting nutrition education at school. That is not the case in most schools. My daughter has attended three different schools (two different grade schools and is now in high school) and it has never been on the curriculum. I never had it in school, either. Furthermore, my daughter always took her lunch to school so that I could ensure she was eating healthy since most of the foods served at the school cafeteria were fried, macaroni and cheese - nary a shred of a fruit or vegetable.

I think it boils down to this: an individual must first want to educate themselves on nutrition and children are clearly going to learn their eating habits from their parents. Not schools. Even if a school has a good nutrition class, if the parent is eating poorly, then the child will likely eat poorly too unless that child makes a decision on his or her own to change their own eating habits. Sadly, that doesn't happen for many kids simply because that's 'how they grew up'.

I have come to think that the whole obesity problem boils down to laziness. It's just easier to eat what's in front of you than to take the time to educate yourself and be constantly vigilant in making good food choices. Where I find it upsetting is when a parent, who clearly knows better or has the opportunity to learn better, makes poor choices where the kids are concerned. It's one thing for an adult to decide not to take care of their bodies with proper diet and exercise, but it's another thing altogether when they make that same poor choice for thier children and again, it's really out of laziness. You can argue that for single parents or poor parents or the over worked parent that it's just easier, faster, cheaper - whatever - to go through the drive thru. The real answer here is that drive through eating is lazy. It just is. I am a single parent.

My child still carries her healthy lunch to school, we still take the time to eat a healthy home cooked meal most nights and on the very few nights that we eat out, my daughter makes healthy choices based on what I have both taught her and modeled for her. Unfortunately, our example is not the norm. We've known another single parent and daughter since the kids were young. The mother is college-educated and even works in the medical field. Clearly, she has had nutritional training and has the opportunity on a daily basis to further her education about good nutrition and healthy lifestyles. She and her daughter are both quite obese. They live on take out food. The daughter is clearly self-concious and suffering for it. The entire situation just breaks my heart and many other parents have commented how sad the situation is and how we wish there was something we could do to help the daughter - but you can't without offending.

The plain fact is that America is obese because Americans are lazy and not choosing to be different. I work in a first floor office by the window at a company whose CEO is on the forefront of the health reform and watch people walk by the window as they go back and forth to our cafeteria (which is stocked with both bad and heatlhy choices) and have actually counted the thin people (it's a smaller number) and for every 12 overweight person, there is one thin person. 1 in 12. That's a pretty sad commentary.

The information is out there. It's constantly in the news, on TV shows like Dr. Oz, on web sites - there is an abundance of information on eating properly and exercising. People are simply choosing not to follow it - and yes, I agree with SHBoss - it makes me mad when they choose it as a life for their kids.

breezy81

I am so with you, that is disgusting. We CAN NOT feed our children like this everyday. Nothing breaks my heart more than an obese child. I may not be the best at feeding myself healthy but I watch what my kids eat.

At the same time, you can not deny them treats, I was never allowed cookies and soda in my home, when I moved out on my own I went a bit crazy eating all I denied. Then had to learn as an adult how to limit this stuff. I have no willpower because I never had to learn it. This is a tough balance and most people dont know how to break the cycle!!!

LittleSpy

The information is out there. It's constantly in the news, on TV shows like Dr. Oz, on web sites - there is an abundance of information on eating properly and exercising. People are simply choosing not to follow it - and yes, I agree with SHBoss - it makes me mad when they choose it as a life for their kids.

I agree with so much of what you said.
But, being someone who really didnt know how to eat correctly for 25 years, I'm going to give a little input on why I think people aren't choosing to eat well. I think the reason is because there's so much out there that leads people in the wrong direction -- 100 calorie packs, "low fat," "sugar free," "diet," "natural." All of those meaningless junk terms are printed on packages crammed into nearly every market aisle. Media moguls telling people they absolutely can't eat a morsel after 7pm, or have to eat a diet that's low in carbs, or have to eat a low fat diet or some other nonsense.

There's so much information out there to sort through that it can be very overwhelming. We've listened to famous people and authors and doctors and have tried to do whatever BS they have told us to do for so long we've completely forgotten about using common sense when it comes to eating healthy and exercising. I'm not trying to pass the buck to media, everyone's responsible for themselves when it comes to lifestyle, but in my opinion and experience, this is where the American obesity epidemic starts.

I have been lazy much of the time when it comes to how I eat and not exercising. But the laziness was mostly a result of defeat. Like most people, I felt like I had "tried everything" to be healthy & lose weight, including "eating right and exercising" (which I lost 40 pounds doing 4 years ago but fell off the wagon because I was depriving myself & I didn't understand what "eating right" meant). Instead of thinking the method failed me, I assumed I was the one who failed. Being a failure is pretty depressing, and if you're an emotional eater, depression leads to significant weight gain (70 pounds in 4 years).

So, while I agree that it is definitely not the responsibility of a school to teach children how to eat well, I feel like the people of this nation have to figure out what the term actually means before anything positive happens in terms of obesity. Eating packaged foods labeled "diet" and "low calorie" and "low fat" and "low carb" is not eating healthy. But, with all the marketing and diet scams out there saying the same things and pushing us all in the same direction, why would anyone ever even consider that possibility? That's what we're all being told to eat by so many people, and these people must have our best interest in mind so it must be true, yes? No.

Momma2four

I have posted on this thread, this will be my 3rd time. I think this thread is just beating the point to death. No one is ever going to agree 100% It is time to kill the thread!!!!! It keeps popping up at the top of "my topics" People are just starting to repeat themselves. Let the thread die peacefully:bigsmile:

mmtiernan

So, while I agree that it is definitely not the responsibility of a school to teach children how to eat well, I feel like the people of this nation have to figure out what the term actually means before anything positive happens in terms of obesity. Eating packaged foods labeled "diet" and "low calorie" and "low fat" and "low carb" is not eating healthy. But, with all the marketing and diet scams out there saying the same things and pushing us all in the same direction, why would anyone ever even consider that possibility? That's what we're all being told to eat by so many people, and these people must have our best interest in mind so it must be true, yes? No.

The message being put out now by Dr. Oz and others is the right message - look at the Nutritional Information on the back or side of the box. Even then, you must read the ingredients list. I've found high fructose corn syrup in "Whole Wheat" bread and partially hydrogenated oil in peanut butter that lists 0 grams trans fat! Eating healthy for your heart and body composition takes effort and most people do not want to put in that effort - they rely instead on "cheats" provided by the diet czars and food industry to keep you buying their products.

Obesity, no matter what the "diet" plan, is simple math. Calories consumed must be less than or equal to calories expended.

It's your body. It's your responsibility.

Where children are concerned, it's the parent's responsibility.

Momma2four

I have posted on this thread, this will be my 3rd time. I think this thread is just beating the point to death. No one is ever going to agree 100% It is time to kill the thread!!!!! It keeps popping up at the top of "my topics" People are just starting to repeat themselves. Let the thread die peacefully:bigsmile:

Just a reminder, let it die:sick: :flowerforyou:

mmtiernan

Some of us clearly still feel there are things to discuss in topic, so perhaps you could just refrain from reading it, if you are no longer interested.

Perhaps you could instead send a suggestion to MFP that they change the My Topics listing so that you can opt out of a topic. That would be a much more productive approach.

Momma2four

Perhaps you are right!:flowerforyou: But I still think we are beating the subject to death:sick:

Nikiki

Perhaps you are right!:flowerforyou: But I still think we are beating the subject to death:sick:

this made me :laugh:

:flowerforyou:

Sunsh1ne

It cracks me up that the comments keeping this at the top of my topics are all about how I should stop reading it.

Laceylala

I think I might have replied to this early on to the same effect as everyone else - disgust..or maybe I read the post and thought it. Can't remember.
Anyways, I recently watched Food Inc on dvd. Have any of you seen it? I used to judge people severely what they put in their cart. Now I don't after watching that movie. It showed a family on there with a very limited budget shopping at a large grocery store. The little girl wanted a pear but her older sister made her put it back saying that they could get alot more boxed food for the same price as that one pear. The mom of the family said that while she wanted her family to eat better the fact of the matter is, they can feed their family of four on burgers and crap food at WalMart for pennies compared to what it cost to eat fresh foods and vegetables. (I'm majorly paraphrasing here)

An expert on the documentary said that if you took $1 to WalMart and tried to buy fruit and veggies, you would be lucky to get a handful of broccoli and carrots - maybe 250 calories worth of food. But if you took that same $1 to the processed food aisles, you could get over 1200 calories. For me that put it into perspective.

We wonder why people are fat in this country? Sure there are many people who are lazy and who choose to eat like crap. And then there is a vast majority of people out there that flat out can't afford to eat better. They have a family to feed and the most cost effective way to do that is with cheap processed foods.

This past weekend my husband, three year old and I went to a local butcher shop and bought organic, free range, hormone free meat and then we went and bought organic produce. I am unbelievably thankful that I can afford to do that right now. But I also remember that not six months ago I was working less than 40 hours a week and where did I shop for groceries because I had way less money? WalMart. What did I buy? A whole lot more processed foods. It is a vicious cycle.

imagymrat

i think you are being really judgemental. that is not a full cart of groceries for family for a day, let alone a week. those could possibly be snacks or replenishing the pantry or for special occasions (like, i don't know, NEW YEAR'S EVE). you have no idea what this women has at home in the manner of fresh fruits or veggies, or what her child is eating.
dawn

**edited for spelling

I totally agree with you, my teenage daughter does her highschool volunteer hours with a food bank, and she's learned, believe it or not, those types of bad foods are the cheapest ones to buy, therefore this is what they do buy. I bet you she already knows it's unhealthy. Did you ever consider that maybe there is a seriously limited budget? and even lack of education? Instead of being semi-angry or saying that she's abusing her child? seriously? she is feeding her family and it may not be to your standards but maybe it's all she can do. What are you doing to change the child obesity problems our society has other then getting angry at what's in someones grocery cart?

HealthyChanges2010

I think I might have replied to this early on to the same effect as everyone else - disgust..or maybe I read the post and thought it. Can't remember.
Anyways, I recently watched Food Inc on dvd. Have any of you seen it? I used to judge people severely what they put in their cart. Now I don't after watching that movie. It showed a family on there with a very limited budget shopping at a large grocery store. The little girl wanted a pear but her older sister made her put it back saying that they could get alot more boxed food for the same price as that one pear. The mom of the family said that while she wanted her family to eat better the fact of the matter is, they can feed their family of four on burgers and crap food at WalMart for pennies compared to what it cost to eat fresh foods and vegetables. (I'm majorly paraphrasing here)

An expert on the documentary said that if you took $1 to WalMart and tried to buy fruit and veggies, you would be lucky to get a handful of broccoli and carrots - maybe 250 calories worth of food. But if you took that same $1 to the processed food aisles, you could get over 1200 calories. For me that put it into perspective.

We wonder why people are fat in this country? Sure there are many people who are lazy and who choose to eat like crap. And then there is a vast majority of people out there that flat out can't afford to eat better. They have a family to feed and the most cost effective way to do that is with cheap processed foods.

This past weekend my husband, three year old and I went to a local butcher shop and bought organic, free range, hormone free meat and then we went and bought organic produce. I am unbelievably thankful that I can afford to do that right now. But I also remember that not six months ago I was working less than 40 hours a week and where did I shop for groceries because I had way less money? WalMart. What did I buy? A whole lot more processed foods. It is a vicious cycle.

The DVD really does make you see things differently, you can see through the eyes of others what life for them is like, society can be so judgmental, we all are at times even if we don't mean to be.

........lots of energy on this thread, haven't kept up with the whole thing, some of it makes me a bit ill to see the battle of words, some are able to share straight up and seems others (not just on MFP <g>) have to put such strong emotion in there words to fight to be right.

There will always be various thoughts but to attack the op seems a bit vicious

Merely observation

SHBoss1673

I totally agree with you, my teenage daughter does her highschool volunteer hours with a food bank, and she's learned, believe it or not, those types of bad foods are the cheapest ones to buy, therefore this is what they do buy. I bet you she already knows it's unhealthy. Did you ever consider that maybe there is a seriously limited budget? and even lack of education? Instead of being semi-angry or saying that she's abusing her child? seriously? she is feeding her family and it may not be to your standards but maybe it's all she can do. What are you doing to change the child obesity problems our society has other then getting angry at what's in someones grocery cart?

You know, I had another big thing written about this. But I decided not to post it because, A) I don't need to defend my opinion to you. and You have no right to judge me, and by doing so, you do the same thing you just accused me of being, which is, by definition, hypocritical of you.

mmtiernan

I absolutely agree that a complete lack of education on nutrition is largely to blame and I know that it's already been discussed about it being a subject in schools, but my question is that if the First Lady and the national health organizations are so concerned with it, then why aren't we seeing a huge nationwide educational effort being made?

Remember in the 70's when they realized that kids didn't know their multiplication tables, grammar and history so they came out with the School House Rock cartoons - played them over and over and over and over during Saturday cartoons? (I don't know about you, but I can still sing most of the words to those lessons..."Conjunction Junction, what's your function?"...) How hard would it be to find a similar vehicle to teach kids about proper nutrition or how to read a food label or an ingredients listing?

Have you ever noticed how many of the same questions are asked on MFP and they are usually basic nutrition questions?? Why isn't there an area on this very website, which is dedicated to fitness (!) explaining a nutrition label or macronutrient ratios or heart-healthy choices, etc., etc. I'm sure that they can find plenty of folks who belong to this site with a professional nutrition and/or medical backgrounds that could help get a section like this together! Why not start here?

Obesity isn't just going to go away by people bleating about it. It is a very huge problem (absolutely no pun intended!) The word needs to get out and it needs to happen anywhere and everywhere possible.

SHBoss1673

I absolutely agree that a complete lack of education on nutrition is largely to blame and I know that it's already been discussed about it being a subject in schools, but my question is that if the First Lady and the national health organizations are so concerned with it, then why aren't we seeing a huge nationwide educational effort being made?

Remember in the 70's when they realized that kids didn't know their multiplication tables, grammar and history so they came out with the School House Rock cartoons - played them over and over and over and over during Saturday cartoons? (I don't know about you, but I can still sing most of the words to those lessons..."Conjunction Junction, what's your function?"...) How hard would it be to find a similar vehicle to teach kids about proper nutrition or how to read a food label or an ingredients listing?

Have you ever noticed how many of the same questions are asked on MFP and they are usually basic nutrition questions?? Why isn't there an area on this very website, which is dedicated to fitness (!) explaining a nutrition label or macronutrient ratios or heart-healthy choices, etc., etc. I'm sure that they can find plenty of folks who belong to this site with a professional nutrition and/or medical backgrounds that could help get a section like this together! Why not start here?

Obesity isn't just going to go away by people bleating about it. It is a very huge problem (absolutely no pun intended!) The word needs to get out and it needs to happen anywhere and everywhere possible.

With regards to the site and an area for health and nutrition information, these are issues for Mike, and his design layout. As to there being an area, look at the main message board area, there are a bunch of sticky posts about that, I know it's not ideal, but the information is out there. Could the design incorporate basic health knowledge a little better, I would like to think so, but even acknowledging this, it's still up to the site designers to make the change. Trust me, It's been brought up before on multiple occasions. I myself have requested more than once that upon signup, the member be requested to complete a health and nutrition tutorial.

As to the country in general, you have me there. Although I DO see a lot more information out there than their used to be, I think this issue is more complicated than the school house rock thing, first because obesity is far more complicated than low test scores, second, because many of the lobbyists in Washington are FROM those companies that supply all the junk food, and third, to Mrs Obama's defense, it takes a long time to mobilize a nationwide program, and she's only about a year into the job, of which I imagine the first 6 months or so was just figuring out how this whole first lady thing worked, so I'm willing to give her a little more slack.
This doesn't change my opinion of parents feeding their children junk though. I feel like ignorance with regards to child welfare is no excuse. I'm not talking about the woman I cited originally on here, I mean parents in general. I don't believe children need perfect nutrition, in fact, I feel like with the speed of a child's metabolism, kids can get away with a lot more of the bad stuff (so to speak) than adults, as long as they get the required amounts of nutrients. But that doesn't mean I think that parents can completely ignore recognized health standards and allow their kids to become extremely fat.

Sunsh1ne

Remember in the 70's when they realized that kids didn't know their multiplication tables, grammar and history so they came out with the School House Rock cartoons - played them over and over and over and over during Saturday cartoons? (I don't know about you, but I can still sing most of the words to those lessons..."Conjunction Junction, what's your function?"...) How hard would it be to find a similar vehicle to teach kids about proper nutrition or how to read a food label or an ingredients listing?

I like the concept, but the problem is that educating kids about healthy foods only goes so far. Their parents are the nutritional gatekeepers, who make all the purchase decisions. If they aren't getting the message or can't afford the good stuff, you've just deadended. On top of that, nutrition is a complex science that we still don't fully understand, and obesity in America is really tied up in political and socioeconomic issues. Fixing it is going to take dramatic overhauls in a lot of areas: stop the subsidies on corn and soy; prevent food marketing to children; improve standards for school lunch programs; create a basic, adaptable nutrition education program to go with the Presidential fitness tests; and fix the way the government subsidizes food for the poor in America.

I think the best bet would be something like schoolhouse rock movers - little 5 or 10 minute cartoons aired every so often that encourage kids to get active instead of just sitting there for 3 hours straight. Kids have little to no control over what they get to eat, but how much activity they get is up to them.

kelli_panzera

Not defending the choices this woman was making...just a couple of years ago i WAS that woman. Does anyone realize how inexpensive these packaged, processed foods are? I work my tail off, and it's not enough to pay the bills some months...healthy food is expensive and even though it shouldn't have to be a choice, sometimes it is. Now I am armed with more knowledge, and my own health battles need to be dealt with which will keep me from buying those kinds of foods for my kids and I 99% of the time. BUT! Food that is good for you can't always take precedence over whether everyone in your family will eat tonight, and thats a sad fact many people have to deal with. If I have to buy that crap for my kids to see they have dinner, then I won't eat and i'll complain about it the whole time. And on a normal day my kids are making better and healthier food choices than I ever did. The government chooses to regulate items like gas and tobacco....maybe they should start regulating the s@%t on the grocery store shelves since obesity and poor health in this country are such an issue? And I also believe that unless your child has some kind of medical condition that causes them to be very large, at some point it should be considered child abuse-if someone had taken a look at me when I was a kid and got me out of my situation, I wouldn't be struggling now. Oh, the very personal issues we all face that shape our view of this society....

Jennplus2

Remember in the 70's when they realized that kids didn't know their multiplication tables, grammar and history so they came out with the School House Rock cartoons - played them over and over and over and over during Saturday cartoons? (I don't know about you, but I can still sing most of the words to those lessons..."Conjunction Junction, what's your function?"...) How hard would it be to find a similar vehicle to teach kids about proper nutrition or how to read a food label or an ingredients listing?

I like the concept, but the problem is that educating kids about healthy foods only goes so far. Their parents are the nutritional gatekeepers, who make all the purchase decisions. If they aren't getting the message or can't afford the good stuff, you've just deadended. On top of that, nutrition is a complex science that we still don't fully understand, and obesity in America is really tied up in political and socioeconomic issues. Fixing it is going to take dramatic overhauls in a lot of areas: stop the subsidies on corn and soy; prevent food marketing to children; improve standards for school lunch programs; create a basic, adaptable nutrition education program to go with the Presidential fitness tests; and fix the way the government subsidizes food for the poor in America.

I think the best bet would be something like schoolhouse rock movers - little 5 or 10 minute cartoons aired every so often that encourage kids to get active instead of just sitting there for 3 hours straight. Kids have little to no control over what they get to eat, but how much activity they get is up to them.

I don't think that how much activity they get is up to them. Children are little sponges, and they follow by example. If mom is sitting on the futon eating chips and watching TV that is what her kids are doing. Life skills are learned. Eating as well as exercise is also learned. Have you ever seen an obese 3 year old who's mother is fit and at prime weight? I haven't.

BamaRose0107

Remember in the 70's when they realized that kids didn't know their multiplication tables, grammar and history so they came out with the School House Rock cartoons - played them over and over and over and over during Saturday cartoons? (I don't know about you, but I can still sing most of the words to those lessons..."Conjunction Junction, what's your function?"...) How hard would it be to find a similar vehicle to teach kids about proper nutrition or how to read a food label or an ingredients listing?

I like the concept, but the problem is that educating kids about healthy foods only goes so far. Their parents are the nutritional gatekeepers, who make all the purchase decisions. If they aren't getting the message or can't afford the good stuff, you've just deadended. On top of that, nutrition is a complex science that we still don't fully understand, and obesity in America is really tied up in political and socioeconomic issues. Fixing it is going to take dramatic overhauls in a lot of areas: stop the subsidies on corn and soy; prevent food marketing to children; improve standards for school lunch programs; create a basic, adaptable nutrition education program to go with the Presidential fitness tests; and fix the way the government subsidizes food for the poor in America.

I think the best bet would be something like schoolhouse rock movers - little 5 or 10 minute cartoons aired every so often that encourage kids to get active instead of just sitting there for 3 hours straight. Kids have little to no control over what they get to eat, but how much activity they get is up to them.

I don't think that how much activity they get is up to them. Children are little sponges, and they follow by example. If mom is sitting on the futon eating chips and watching TV that is what her kids are doing. Life skills are learned. Eating as well as exercise is also learned. Have you ever seen an obese 3 year old who's mother is fit and at prime weight? I haven't.

I have seen this. A healthy parent does not always make a healthy child. The child I am referring to was actually 5, the mom was in really good health and very active. She used food to reward, to calm, ect. She was more focused on herself than the health of her child. She would eat carrots and hand the kid cookies. So I have seen a healthy fit parent have an overweight or obese child. I do agree though that the parent needs to keep the child active. I think there has to be a balance between teaching good eating habits and making sure the child is active. Even if a mom was overweight the child could be perfectly normal weight if they are kept active and are taught to make healthier choices or even just eat in moderation.